healing trauma in the New Age climate

There is one more thing I wanted to address. I hope to also bring a sensical spirituality to people who have suffered trauma. I have seen too much shame, and the terrible things that happen to people who have suffered all their lives with repressed rage, terror and grief, only to be inundated by the New Age community as to what “positive” and “negative” emotions are, what constitutes an “enlightened” state of mind, how not getting there right now, by sheer force of will, is an act of blindness on the person's part. I have been sickened and angered on behalf of the people who have been led to believe that not being able to overcome their trauma through an act of will is a sign of weakness, stubbornness and lack of spirituality. This wreaks terrible damage and makes people who are already often paralyzed and barely functional even more afraid to access the frightening sensations in their bodies. It is a predatory philosophy, and trauma survivors are often susceptible to it in their quest for redemption-after all, many with developmental trauma from something like child abuse already hate themselves, believe they have a disproportionate amount of control over their environment, and need very little to continue fostering these beliefs, especially if there is a “spiritual” twist to it.

I have seen many sexual abuse survivors turn to New Age spirituality, only to be told that any sense of boundaries that the fragile person is developing, as well as the natural self-protectiveness that any child of healthy parents learns and internalizes, is an ego-based attempt to “separate” themselves from other people. The New Age community often encourages this selfsame, devastating lack of boundary by insisting that “we are all One,” and to dislike or be guarded around people who seem dangerous is “being judgmental.” As true as our One-ness may be, it is not the thing to hammer into a traumatized person who has so little sense of their own personal boundary that they feel they exist merely to defer to everyone else's will. Even the growing and beloved motto within the New Age community that “every emotion in the world comes from either fear or love”-and that therefore all those emotions that come from fear are “negative”- does its damage. How does anyone imagine that this resonates with a traumatized person who is paralyzed by fear and repressed rage? Adages such as these, when put in the context of shaming people out of their natural emotions, impose every bit as stringent and deprecating a moral judgment as organized religions can.

A vital emotion in healing from any kind of abuse is anger, which is physiological in nature as well as emotional. An organism that can neither fight nor flee when attacked will collapse, and the natural rage of self-defense that occurs during sexual assault or molestation will be stored in the nervous system until it is safe to experience and release it in a healthy context. Once anger is acknowledged and felt, it can become healthy assertiveness and self-directedness. Yet I have witnessed the tragedy of sexual abuse survivors being told by members of the New Age community that anger is wrong, ignorant, unenlightened, and that anything short of immediate forgiveness is downright wrong. I have even, on several occasions, heard members of the New Age community tell healing abuse survivors that they have no right to be angry, because “they could have been murderers or rapists in a past life, and it was therefore ignorant and hypocritical to be angry at their perpetrators in this life.”

Needless to say, I watched these poor survivors, whose trauma often prevents a healthy critical-thinking component, collapse into an even deeper state of self-hate and shame for their filthy emotions. After all, this kind of shaming so flawlessly mirrors their already-existing cognitive structure. Now, they not only had their own negative introjects to contend with, but the whole universe agrees with their inner critic-the verdict is that they are simply not “spiritual” enough.

I recently heard an Integral Naked Interview with Adyashanti, who said that if a person approaches him desiring to grow spiritually, and he senses that the person needs counseling, he will tell them so-lovingly, but firmly. He will send them to counseling, letting them know that they need this kind of therapeutic work before they are ready to do another kind of spiritual practice. This is the only responsible thing a spiritual leader can possibly do. To tell a traumatized person that they have been unnecessarily suffering and that once they remove this ignorant, inconvenient egoic idea, they will be on their way to enlightenment—this is a crime, and the mark of a spiritual leader who themselves has much inner work left to do.

Until it is normal to see the body as a spiritual vehicle, to be honored no matter what's going on in there, and to trust it-people will be afraid, they will spiritually bypass, they will dissociate further. In therapy, people need adult accountability of the kind that does not shame or encourage forcing one's way out of honest feelings. People want spirituality, and they need to see the most spiritual thing they can possibly do is access the body's own intelligence. And to do this, they need guidance which includes gentle love, acceptance, a safe place, and most importantly, integral, solid healers who have done their own emotional work.

With the Somatic Experiencing approach, the person, who more often than not-especially if they have been traumatized-begins to trust the intelligence of the body, something our rational brain is sometimes loathe to do. Yet, once the rational brain has jumped on the bandwagon and has begun to support the body's intelligence, healing can occur rather quickly. Many of our confused perceptions get clarified once the underlying anxiety is cleared. The rational brain builds a framework and understanding for healing, and is then rather protective of the fragile systems of the body as they grow into their own power. But I truly believe SE, or Somatic Psychotherapy, are the only therapeutic approaches that allow the human organism to work fully in sync in the healing process. The result of purely cognitive therapy, especially with trauma, is often an improved cognitive understanding but continued mistrust of the body and its discomforts. The result of irresponsible spirituality is further dissociation. So much empowerment comes when we get out of our own way and allow the art of healing to occur the way it would like to.

Re: healing trauma in the New Age climate

a crystal clear extrapolation on an issue that very much needs to be addressed, daate - thank you!

Re: healing trauma in the New Age climate

What a wonderful posting…  Thank you.

Re: healing trauma in the New Age climate

excellent.  I'm always so happy when I see people out there questioning the new age paradigm.  there is no central leader or figure or even well laid out belief system to pin anyone to.  So…it's safe.  AND…noone is really responsible!  It's really an interesting trap.

But NOT for those susceptible to its claims of quick and easy fixes.  It's not just interesting, but also painful.  I'm also finding that there are others out there who are seeing that this apparently harmless fad is NOT harmless.

Our beliefs lead directly to the lives we lead.  Castles built of straw fall.  We must be built of sturdy material.  And the 'open minded' folks of the new age movement are asking us to throw away 2 milenia worth of lessons from Christianity.  So…NOW we have nonsense without a central authority and figure.  Works for all those who don't want to be told what to do or what is real, but to create it for themsleves.

I think it is always important to remember that reality should be constructed responsibly.  To be careful and do no harm to those around us.

anyhow, thanks for the post.  and will have to check out your page on SE!

clyde

Re: healing trauma in the New Age climate

Thanx for this lucid, heartfelt and downright sensible posting Daate…..

I would like to add to this that another way of overcoming trauma can be found in Relational Psychoanalysis which is mostly a talking therapy but one in which the therapist seeks to relate to the client through empathic transactions specifically slanted towards melting  hardcore shame….

I agree with all you say regarding the effect of trauma…indeed one who cannot either fight or take flight will implode…the nature of this implosion,  experienced from within,  is to hate oneself, a directing of the anger inwards into self-deprecatory narratives which reinforce and hold stable the damaged intrapsychic structure in an attempt to retain continuity of what remains of their self-sense…..further to and related to this is the sense of shame.…shame as John Bradshaw writes, differs from guilt in that guilt takes the form of “I have done something wrong” …and there can be atonement for this, something one can undertake and move healthily on from……shame takes the belief “I am wrong”….the young child is being hurt and seeks in vain for the cause of this 'punishment '…”what have I done wrong??”….and finding nothing, concludes that s/he must be wrong…..herein is the outside perspective of the mental, pranic and physical bodies contracting into, respectively, self-limiting narrative-beliefs, nadi blockage and muscular tension…..release any of these and the others will uncoil…sometimes in catharsis but not always: I have personally experienced a grounding, new-and-stable pranic flow and inner sense of wellbeing through various experiences, somatic and transactional…..

Relational psychoanalysis can facilitate healing from trauma in itself….better to involve a somatic element and facilitate the process from a broad-spectrum approach….

And, yeah, I have spent many a session decontaminating that New Age pap from the unwary..it's a miracle of physis on the part of such a client that they even get to my door in the first place.

Warmly, Jon (Relational Transactional Analyst and British Wheel of Yoga Registered Teacher).

Thanx for this thread.

Re: healing trauma in the New Age climate

yay! so happy the pod is coming back to life.

important reflections all 'round..

Re: healing trauma in the New Age climate

i've been away from my computer for a few days but thank everyone for their insights…..crouching tiger, i am off to check out your post on z4!

Re: healing trauma in the New Age climate

This is a beautifull expressed post and so very true. Healing is individual. Eventually it takes the survivor to a spiritual place…but it has to feel safe to go there. Criticizing the healing journey doesn't help anyone. Thank you for knowing that and speaking what many survivors have been afraid to express themselves.

Reading your post, I felt angry both as a therapist and a survivor that others would believe imposing their beliefs would be helpful. I am very happy to be among people who express these kinds of views. Very heartwarming.

Grace

Re: healing trauma in the New Age climate

Amazing post. When the childhood trauma has included an attack of the person's spiritual beliefs or spiritual development, healing includes redefining or transforming what was imposed to what is desired or fits within the spectrum of the healing person's scope of what feels comfortable and safe.

IMO, the spiritual journey for any person is a lifelong process. There is no definitive ending since we are always evolving. It would be ideal if all seeking a higher meaning to their spiritual selves were met with the sensitivity described by Daate.For unhealed survivors to come to a community such as Gaia means recognizing it may be triggering or may be an opportunity to work within a spiritual structure where others can learn from the survivor as opposed to the survivor accepting what is said–challenging rather than “fight, flight, freeze”, which is a new form of freedom.

While Gaia strives to be an all accepting community, it is not an ideal all are able to achieve. I think Gaia is far beyond that of most who speak of unity but clearly practice another concept. Healing survivors take on challenges in pursuit of healing that are acceptable. Having the open mind to work with others who might be in a more fragile place is a good start. Survivors must ultimately take responsibility for their own healing and tread lightly in new environments. I have met several who have found a safe home here which speaks very highly of the people of this community. I'm proud to be a part of Gaia.

Re: healing trauma in the New Age climate

Daate, Grace and Shameslaya,  Thank you all for your powerful posts on healing trauma in a new age climate.  I have just read them all for the first time, and I am so happy to resonate with all you have shared.  As someone who 'felt' for most of my life a deep shame for 'what'? A self hatred, which I covered with spiritual smiles!!.   I had no idea!!  I had total amnesia, and had to suffer the slings and arrows of one new age latest fashion technique after another,  so that my 'guru' or facilitator of the day, would feel she/he had achieved nirvana if I began to feel  better about myself.  The new age spiritual bypassing techniques nearly worked in creating even deeper amnesia,  but thankfully my body is far more intelligent than I ever gave it credit for,  and it pushed it's way into awareness and enlightenement through sheer hard slogging - pain and all!

Today at age 60,  I have feelings in my body that are still a new experience for me - sometimes scary as hell, but with an aliveness that makes me smile quietly in appreciation of who I am - shame free, and 
satiisfied.

Yaay


Clare

Re: healing trauma in the New Age climate

Gosh. This conversation is old, I know, but I was exposed to a concept recently that, to my mind, relates brilliantly to this, and that caused a certain crystallization in my own thinking.

I'd been exploring the work of Sente, and came across their assertion that it's important to differentiate our energy body from our spiritual selves. Sente holds that our energy bodies are no more and no less special and unique than our physical bodies–meaning that they have needs that must be met, and, as importantly, boundaries that must be maintained. A failure to understand this, or an approach that confuses the spiritual self with the energetic self, leads to such things as people wanting to merge into oneness (a spiritual desire) with their energetic selves (not cool–again, we need good boundaries).

I'm not sure whether this resonates with anyone else, but to me, it made so much sense.  Our culture is relatively naive (or at least unschooled) in energy work (unlike, say, Chinese or Indian society), and so it's easy for people to confuse energy with spirituality. In any case, I thought it pertained nicely to Daate's outline. And of course I'd welcome other thoughts. :)