Especially for those 70-to-100* stars +

I am reading a book that I must tell you about. 

Coming of Age: The Story of Our Century by Those Who've Lived It, by a recently deceased Chicago writer, Studs Terkel.

It is a collection of 70 interviews of people ages 70 to 99-years about American life and work throughout the 20th century and the way times have changed. 

Neither age nor infirmity has lessened their vigor, strength of will and courage.  

Approaching my 72nd birthday, I find I have a lot of time for reflection.  How did I get here?   Where am I?  What happened in those 71+ years?  Why is so much so-different from when I was 17, 35, 40, 55-years old? 

The day before Christmas I was chatting with a lady resident of a nursing home.  We found that we both are Chicagoans and we spent some time reminiscing.  

I wanted more so went to the library and checked out the above book.  I've read some of Studs Terkel's books and like his style.  

While reading I find that I am not alone in my observations and wonders about how different life and people are from when I was “their” age.  

I find the book to be fun, comforting and an inspiration to “keep-on-keeping on”.   
 
Joyous Mary   

Re: Especially for those 70-to-100* stars +

Joyous Mary,

What a great name you have here! Joyous Mary! As a fellow Mary, I especially appreciate and embrace that for you and for me!

I wonder if you heard Bill Moyers eulogy to his old friend Studs Terkel. Also, Amy Goodman on Democracy Now did a nice piece on his life, work and aired an interview she did with him. Now I look forward to readign the book you recommend. Thanks!

I am reading a timely book that is self-transformation oriented. It is called Harmonic Wealth by James Arthur Ray. I'm not giving the work justice but will try to explain the basic idea that he uses this model of each human being consisting of 5 pillars of potentially harmonic living. These are the categories that I find to be helpful for my own reflection and inner work:

spiritual
physical
mental
financial
relational

Well, back to the book and some of the work. He is a no-nonsense life coach and his style doesn't work for everyone but someone readign this may find this a helpful resource.

Happy New year!

Love,
Mary
 

Re: Especially for those 70-to-100* stars +

Joyous Mary, what are the main differences between let's say 17 yr olds today and when you were 17?

Re: Especially for those 70-to-100* stars +

First of all, I really don't know what 17yo is like today. 

I can comment on what I think about observations. 

I would not like to be 17 today.  To be 17 today would mean that I would have 71+  years ahead of me and the future has been looking more frightening than ever. 

Now, if I could be 17 today with 71 years of history and experience behind me to draw from, that would be a whole different story.

But to be 17 with no experience.  No thanks!

But GAIA and other such communities of awareness and enlightenment are evidence that a whole new people are evolving and today's young are very different and more advanced than we were at their age.  They are being nurtured and prepared for a future such that we did not have and most of us will not know.    

I think there is a very large gap between the generations.  We are not antagonistic, we just don't recognize one another.  I think it is the natural result of the evolution process.  

Some of us are probably already scheduled or called to remain among them to support and be a source of history's wisdom as they and their children and children's children forge on through the future.  

I believe the new race will be more intuitive and spiritually aware than the now passing generation was or needed to be. 
This gives me hope for today's young and the future.  

I fear the future because I am not evolved for the future as they are.  

I remain, 
Joyous Mary   

Re: Especially for those 70-to-100* stars +

Progressing through the 70s is different from entering the 50s.  Of course, I speak only from my experience.  It's been frightening and confusing.  Something like pubescence or menapause.  The whole gamut of emotions.  Euphoria to terror.  Sometimes in less than 24 hours. 
Who am I?  Who was I? What is happening?  Is there any meaning or purpose left?
Everything else in my life has passed.  Comfort replaced dis-, confidence replaced fear, joy replaced grief, abundance replaced want.  I treasure the past.  It assures me that change is constant and so far, nothing has overcome me.  I AM still here.   Which reminds me:  “Be still and Know God”.

I picked up and read a book from the library yesterday: 

I'M TOO YOUNG TO BE SEVENTY:and Other Delusions, by Judith Viorst.

A light, amusing, thought-provoking read. 

Joyous Mary
04/22/37     

Re: Especially for those 70-to-100* stars +

Joyous Mary: ”


Progressing
through the 70s is different from entering the 50s.  Of
course, I speak only from my experience.  It's been frightening
and confusing.”

This is your birthday month, and I treasure all that you will share. What do you think could make it less frightening and confusing to enter the 70s?

Re: Especially for those 70-to-100* stars +

What do I think would make it less frightening and confusing? 
 To do what I am doing.  Walk the walk with awareness.   Bringing Wisdom from the past, Trusting the present, gathering Courage and Inspiration from those who have passed my present and are now leading the way for me. 

Hearing and reading the stories of those who have entered and passed their 70s during the last 15 years, makes it less frightening and confusing.   

I'm finding some at the library.  Others are found at community centers.
Others in volunteer service.  

Conform expectations to nature's reality.

Joyous Mary
1937      

Re: Especially for those 70-to-100* stars +

Joyous Mary, that is why I'm so happy that you keep sharing. It is not easy and yet when you do it; just like others' books and stories help you, your stories help us. Bless you for doing so!

Re: Especially for those 70-to-100* stars +

Hey Mary!!!
I am going after the books you suggest here.
I am eager to live in the 21st century!!!!
Tell the truth–I am actually getting more out of life now than in the 20th.
I can't wait to be 70(or 100 for that matter)

Re: Especially for those 70-to-100* stars +

Thanks, Lizzy. 

I think it is time for me to go back and read again one of those books:
Stud Terkel's   Coming of Age: stories of the 20th Century and Those who lived it.

I own but have not read, At Seventy: A Journal by May Sarton.  Flipping through it now, I see that the previous owner highlighted some thoughts.

Thanks for the reminder.

Joyous Mary
1937

Re: Especially for those 70-to-100* stars +

So, I start to read:  At Seventy: A Journal by May Sarton.  
  
Very soon the author reminds me and I offer to others of all ages:

     “One thing is certain, and I have always known it - - the joys of my life have nothing to do with age.” 

Further on I found what I've been sensing but not been able to express.  It is a reference to a suggestion by the German Philosopher, Martin Heidegger (1889-1976).

This says it for me: 

Heidegger:  “Time is like an ever-moving spiral.  The future continually comes toward us but it meets us with our past at each moment of the immediate present.  Each time this process happens, we are confronted with mysterious new levels of our being.” 

Joyous Mary
1937


 

Re: Especially for those 70-to-100* stars +

I have come to realize that the 'only' advantage of age is the number of experiences we have. And of course that's individual; at 52 I may have more than someone who's 80 or less than someone who's 22. But definitely more than myself at 22 and less than myself if there ever will be one at 80.

So this resonates with me too - joys having nothing to do with age.

I have to say this is mysterious to me at present. “Heidegger:  “Time is like an ever-moving
spiral.  The future continually comes toward us but it meets us with
our past at each moment of the immediate present.  Each time this
process happens, we are confronted with mysterious new levels of our
being.” ”

Not quite getting it.

Re: Especially for those 70-to-100* stars +

Heidegger:  How reading the above has brought a little light onto my path.

It tells me that someone, somewhere at sometime experienced what I am beginning to sense now.  Somebody else was where and feel what I feel now.   This is comforting.   I thought I was “losing it”.  

My fright and confusion is because [ I am confronted with mysterious new levels of my being. ] 

In the beginning I had little past (in this life span) and a very long future.  Now, the scale has changed.  My past is significantly longer than my future. 

I am at a mysterious new level of my becoming.  I am running out of future. 

[In this lifeTime].       

I did not have this awareness until I turned 70.          

At 50 I honored the fullness of my life on that day and then continued on living fully as I always did.  At 70 the day of reckoning hit me right in the face. 
The earth under my feet has been unsteady ever since. 

I am no longer in the thick of the majority.  Where there are many, there is support and stability.

I am moving further out.  Where there are fewer of my age thus, more space.  The sense of support and stability is not felt.   

We do not share a common goal or purpose.  Except that of trying to discover what it might be at this age. 

Time affects the body, mind and soul of each.  Thus, the experience of each is particular to the age.   There are some things of one age that another cannot possibly recognize.   This is what I am feeling at this point.  That is why I hoped to find those who share my age (or have been there) in Gaia. 

Joyous Mary
1937

Re: Especially for those 70-to-100* stars +

Joyous Mary, you are a pioneer, going into the 70s and sharing about it online. I do hope that others here whom I have seen, who are 70+ also come and share their lives.

What you have expressed is so beautiful in its clarity, even as it grips me in my gut with its heart-wrenching quality [mixed metaphors, but that's how I felt it!]. Thank you for spelling it out at my request. In a way, what you have written is like the wistful and yet awakening lament of the later years.

What I'm seeing is, that growing older is in a way more and more certainty coming into life. Certainty that days are numbered, for one. When we're younger, we don't really know how long the road is in front of us; and I'll have to think in which years I have felt the road was long in front of me.  So far, I know I feel it in my 52nd year. Till then, it seemed life was going to end around 50 and therefore I didn't really care what I felt. Now that it seems longer, I have taken more responsibility for my happiness.

As you say, there may not be other 70 year olds with whom you share a common goal or purpose. But just as the words you shared above of May Sarton : “One thing is certain, and I have always known it - - the joys of my life have nothing to do with age.”

perhaps that holds true of the trials as well?

Perhaps what is really something that we can share is:
How do we handle it when the years ahead seem to be shorter than the life we've left behind?
That's something that may be different at different ages; but have many insights that cross over.
I look forward to this conversation with you.

Meenakshi
1956 [thanks for the reminder!]

Re: Especially for those 70-to-100* stars +

Hi Meenakshi and all who are reading this. 

I was revisiting this board this evening and did some gleaning. 

May Sarton via Meenakshi:  May:  “. .  .  the joys of my life have nothing to do with age.” 
Meenakshi:  ”perhaps that holds true of the trials as well?” 

This fits in for me with what we've been discussing in “Transition: In the Now”

Until now, I didn't consider that some of the pain has to do with aging.

Re: Especially for those 70-to-100* stars +

Very possible; it starts with physical discomfort at birth and moves into different varieties as we grow –just as our experience arises from different areas of our life. Maybe pain helps us to be in the moment, to focus, to be really fully in the situation, to remember?

Re: Especially for those 70-to-100* stars +

I smile.  

Oh yeah!  It sure does it for me. 

Thanks 

Re: Especially for those 70-to-100* stars +

Here I am again.  3 months later.  I want to explain why Heidegger's thought resonates with me. 

“The spiral”  consider the Slinky, a toy.  If held high at one end the rest of it falls like a coil, spring, Slinky.  They all expand and then come together again. 

So the “front end” of life reaches to the future but if it hesitates or stops, the past is right behind urging forward.  ”.  .  .  expand and then come together again.”    I would guess that the present is that one micro-second of togetherness of the past and present before the next expansion toward the future. 

Ok, this is how it was for me a few seemingly long weeks ago.  I did not want to accept a future that I perceived.  Just thinking about that future, the past came springing into my present.  The past with all it successes, triumphs, failures and mistakes.  I could not redeem the mistakes and failures nor experience again the successes and triumphs.  And, I knew the future would not have the time or opportunities to “do it again” and I did not like what I perceived the future to be.  My imagination was askew. 
The future is a .  .  .  mysterious new level of being.   I am old enough to know that “new” does not necessarily mean “better”.   New shoes sometime hurt the feet. 
 A promise of “.  .  . new levels of being” holds no enticement for me. 

Nonetheless, here I am in that new level of being and it is a mystery. 

Looking around I see all kinds of ways that people experience this “new level of being.” 

I'm having fun. 
  

Re: Especially for those 70-to-100* stars +

I keep reading about Mary and I am again thinking of my great aunt Isobel, who lived(and I mean LIVED) to be 104.
I know I have said it before but it bears repeating.
Our western society has been really screwed up when it comes to their attitude towards getting older.
All to often, our wise elders are separated from the main population.
No wonder there is such a dread of getting there.
We lock away our sources of real wisdom in “retirement communities” and “assisted living” complexes.
I think that some of the ones we push away could assist us with living.
It is to our shame!!
We do get a bit frail as we age, but that is an opportunity for the younger ones of us to learn compassion and caring.
What a shame we are robbing ourselves of so much that could make our lives richer.
Liz
1957

Re: Especially for those 70-to-100* stars +

While visiting here during the past hour or so, I remembered a line from DESIDERATA, by Max Ehrmann

” .  .  .  Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.  .  .  .” 

I am not graceful about surrendering the things, desires, involvements, goals, and the sense of belonging of youth.  

I used to be able to make decisions with no thought of the future.  Nonetheless, the future came and I survived it all.  There was always time enough to work through any mistakes. 

Perhaps the lesson is to:   Know and nurture who I AM today.  Experience NOW to the fullest.  Sleep well at night. 
The lesson has nothing to do with age.  Except it seems more urgent than ever, that I learn it. 
I take courage in that at least I have an idea of what the test is about.

Like learning to play a musical instrument, practice, practice, practice.  In a group if one is to be in concert.

Joyous Mary
1937   

      

Re: Especially for those 70-to-100* stars +

Liz, if only more thought like you, yes it is an opportunity for the younger ones
I am 69 this year and looking after my 92 yr old Mum, it helps to keep me young, most people think I'm in my fifties 

Re: Especially for those 70-to-100* stars +

Hello all dear ones who joined in this thread that was started December 30, 2008.   

Sitting here today the last Monday living in this house (I move on Thursday) and reading this thread (I don't know why) is a review of the year up to this time. 

I am nurished and appreciate again all of your warm and generous responses.  You all took the time to read and respond, be with me as I was working at going from one period of life to another. 

I am at last in peace with my “new age”  which too often is called “old age”.
I feel freer and more confident.  I am no longer concerned that I may leave this lifetime and never be remembered for what I did with my time here. 

I am moving to a larger city where I will be closer to my faith community, Unity of Madison, co-workers when I worked, my Al-Anon friends, many more social, cultural and educational opportunities, a park, a lake, library, secondhand stores, a community center and all my medical care providers. 

 I wrote somewhere today about fearing that I had no purpose at this age but have discovered that I always had a purpose, I just questioned its value. 

I now recognize that only the way I serve has changed.  The way is in keeping with today's abilities and maturity that I have now.  The way may change again but today I see it as a quiet presence among people and trusting my thoughts enough to express them in writing or speaking a comment here and there. 

All of us here at “50 Stars Plus”  in Gaia have lived long enough to know the Power of the right word or words spoken at the right time.  
My “new way” is a quiet way because it requires good listening. 

Judging from your responses to me, you all are already good listeners. 
 I have been blessed by your words.

Namaste!
Joyous Mary
1937        
  

Re: Especially for those 70-to-100* stars +

Joyous Mary, I feel waves of gentle warmth emanating from this post. Thank you so much for bringing this thread to such a beautiful close.