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  bensoph : Sophia-Nature Lover

Becoming an Elder

bensoph said May 21, 4:02 AM:

 

I'm curious if any of you old folks contemplate yourselves as elders in relation to the larger community?  What does that mean to you?  How are you looking at your relationship and responsibilites towards the younger generatiosn?

I'm thinking on this a lot since I'm involved with the start-up of an ecovillage.  We now have the potential of some families with kids coming in.  So, now I'm thinking, what can we give these kids in a time where the crash of Western Civilization is looking more and more plausable, what would we like to seed for resurrection regarding the young folks that survive?  By the way, I would highly recommend Baker's Sacred Demise.  Baker is an ecopsychologist that doesn't give a whole lot of “positive thought” jargon.  She's not afraid of going into the shit to get to the seeds of a new life.  I recommend her book for those who want to come out of denial.  Take care.  Burl

   Meenakshi : Connection

Re: Becoming an Elder

Meenakshi said May 21, 7:40 PM:

 

Burl, great questions. I'd asked similar ones, once in this group and hope your post elicits wonderful responses.

I think I do feel that the word 'Elder' has connotations to people of being 'old' and somehow both may have negative vibes! I love both these words, and would like people who think I'm one, to feel also that I'm the other. I'm always a little startled by those older than me who seem to have not yet 'got it'. And so deeply inspired by those who have accepted this role, and aren't fighting it.

I think that an Elder is one who is comfortable with their life on earth which has helped them to develop a really wide, deep, broad, expansive, inclusionary perspective ; who can see, as you say - the good and bad, and though they don't deny, they can know how to lead others towards the 'better' way.

How are you looking at your relationship and responsibilites towards the younger generatiosn?


For the youngsters around me I'm looking at being as close as possible to what they do need from an Elder: an example of an inspiring or inspired life; communication that is deeply respectful both ways; showing how life can be meaningful, deeply felt and joyful at any age; that there are new experiences and learning all through life. That we can each have unique perspectives, and yet revel in each other's company.

  debyemm : Tree Hugging Dirt Worshiper

Re: Becoming an Elder

debyemm said May 21, 10:33 PM:

 

I've embraced becoming an “elder”, especially since coming to Gaia, where I have more opportunities to play such a role.  When I first arrived at Zaadz (now Gaia), it was an older community and did not have the number of young people we do now and the young people that were here felt somehow old in wisdom.  

Recently I saw written Wisdom = Knowledge + Experience.  That is what it feels like.  Knowledge from life, of life, experience from what goes right and what goes wrong.  And really, I feel funny writing those words because I don't believe in that duality actually.

I have also thought since coming to this community that society may break down.  Things may get tough and some of us will be hunkered down somewhere for the duration as best as that Wisdom will allow us to survive.  I'm not in denial but I'm not certain how obvious or “bad” it will be and perhaps like it is most of the time, that may be relative.  Like your village may not experience it as bad as some other location will.  That is certainly our hope here in the “wilderness”.

I have 2 children, my 2nd family, I'm also a grandmother.  We homeschool our children on a path actually known as unschooling.  Since we don't know what is coming, how to educate our children for that?  We teach them to learn, the motto for unschoolers is “I'm learning all the time”.  It is as natural as breathing air or needing to eat something because you are hungry.  I think the desire to learn is turned off in some kids within the educational system.  Not all of them certainly and many would consider us to be experimenting and risking our children's lives.  That is so, we are.  We think it will turn out okay for the future that lies ahead of them.

I don't consider myself a pessimist, I'm a realist and keep an open mind, even to the possibility of hardship, though I prefer ease.  I am also an optimist.  Many may die in the balancing of the earth's resources but I believe some will be left.

So, what does an elder do?  I mentor some younger folks here at Gaia on occasion, some for a short while and some for longer.  It's all individualistic and that is what an elder recognizes.  An elder can see further down the pike, anticipate what might be around the bend, shorten the learning curve - though an elder won't prevent the lessons that pop up from a younger one's soul.  An elder wouldn't think of doing that.  But an elder can give context and meaning after the fact and warning before - sometimes.  Those usually aren't heeded anyway and that is probably just as well for growth and development.

No wonder elders are also called wise old ones.  I'm not bothered by either.

Deb

  Lizzyl : Seeker of Truth and Harmony

Re: Becoming an Elder

Lizzyl said May 27, 8:59 AM:

 

Hey Deb,
This is exciting! I think that old is in your head anyway. I see too many people, especially young ones, around me growing “old” before their time.
It reminds me of the lyrics of one of my favorite Bob Dylan songs: “I was so much older then, I'm younger than that now.”
I am so glad you are a grandma! I don't see that anytime soon in my future because my daughter is on the career track, which I am glad about because at least she knows that bringing a child into the world is a serious thing.
I know that my grandchildren will be brought into a loving and stable home.
As for being wise—my jury is still out on that one–at least as far as I am conserned.
When people say I “inspire” and “help ” them, I still shake my head.
All I doing is having a life. Doing what makes sense to me.
I guess that makes me “wise”. or a wise guy!
Who knows?

  blewbird : lightoftheworld

Re: Becoming an Elder

blewbird said Jun 8, 12:44 PM:

 

I am interested in seeing and helping the younger generation have more chance in life that I had and I am hoping to set an excample that will inspire them to have a good life.   I wnat them to enjoy life and continue to make the world a better place than it already is.   I want them to look inside and find true love at a much earlier age than I did.                        rejoice

  Zephyr : Poeticspirit

Re: Becoming an Elder

Zephyr said Jun 8, 1:17 PM:

 

I try to live what I believe. We are evolving so the young will exceed what we have achieved, they will learn from how we conduct ourselves, not from any homilies we may offer,  we have forged our paths and it is their turn now. If they ask for advice, I try to help them explore possible choices / alternatives but the choice is theirs.
i am 69 in Sept, but people think I am in my fifties, the other day I helped an old lady up some steps, we got talking and I found she was ten years my junior. A lot is down to attitude, a can do attitude, I figure use it or lose it, keeping mind and body as active as possible. I believe in listening to the young, respecting their own inner voice and views, they will decide for themselves what things in our lives are worth emulating and what they wish to change, just as we did.

  JOYOUS : Contentment Spinner

Re: Becoming an Elder

JOYOUS said Jun 8, 4:09 PM:

 

Thanks for the question, Burl.  I am reading thoughts that I've hoped to find in GAIA.  I really don't know where my comments this afternoon will go or what shape they will be. It's the question: “Do I contemplate myself as an “elder” in relation to the larger community?”  That has me spinning. 
But first I want to mention some things in your submission that triggered identity and/or amusement for me.  Baker's book”: Sacred Demise.  You say of the author:  ” …  not afraid of going into the shit to get to the seeds of a new life.”   I am hoeing away to expose the seeds that I know are there for my new life.  I just celebrated 72-years this last April. 
In your profile you mention being involved with a community of “Ageing Hippies”.  Boy, do I ever identify with that.  Yes sir, I do.  I was in those picket/protest lines.  I sat in those sit-ins.  And somehow for some reason, people still pickup on that about me.  I'm thinking that perhaps old hippies become Elders; but not all Elders are old or hippies. 
Contrast here:  In the town that I was in at the time of the 9/11 terrorist attack, I attended a memorial service presented by the State College for the victims, families and our nation.  During that service we sang, “We Shall Overcome”.  No where in that crowd was there more than two or three people ready (I was aching) to hold hands and sway in solidarity.  The young people could not relate to what was happening with us.  I don't know if they were each more comfortable standing alone or if they were uncomfortable because they were alone.   

Meenakshi offers here:  What is disturbing/surprising is finding older people who still “just don't get it.”    I agree.  Asking myself why some “just don't get it” I am not surprised. 
I can't say why some do and some don't.  I know a lot of what affected me to be who IAM today?  It sure hasn't been easy.  Family circumstances afforded me lots of freedom to silently question and seek answers.  Oh heavens, I don't want to go into all that becomes me.

I've been slow to call myself Elder because to me it is a title of honor and respect.  I am uncomfortable confering a title of honor on myself. 
So too, was I reluctant to admit that I was gifted with Wisdom.  Until I was in retreat with a group of women and it was required that each say aloud something each believed was special about herself. 
I timidly offered that I sensed I was wise.  Others smiled and nodded. 

So how do I expect to bear my responsibility as Elder?  
  I intend to continue on the path that has brought me to who IAM now.
      I know that I am guided.  I listen and watch for direction along the way.
      I guess I might say that I set an intention to Know, Love and be of Service   
         so long as I breathe. 

 The intention becomes the deed.      


   Joyous Mary
    1937

  JOYOUS : Contentment Spinner

Re: Becoming an Elder

JOYOUS said Jun 9, 12:28 AM:

 

Hi I'm back again.  Thinking specifically about what we can give give or leave for the young parents and their children and children's children to prepare them a future that seems to be coming too quickly and such as has never been known. 
That future may have already begun.  Already I feel called upon to stand ready in the NOW.  I believe that many called Elders (ageing souls) were being made ready in body to be sources of strength, wisdom, courage, generosity, guidance, comfort and a presence wherever and however the need appears. 

 Life has taught me much about survival.  The more recent teachings have been about living in the NOW and trusting and loving enough to to be at peace.  Whenever I find myself fearing what the future may be, I find my peace when I bring my thoughts back to the moment that I am in. 

I had a wonderful life.  I was always encouraged to be authentic and true to myself.  That meant getting to know me.   In doing that, I came to know a Benevolent Divine Presence.  The Universal Spirit of Love,  The life source for all people and the universe. 

Like most Elders I can demonstrate my truth with the way that I live each day and hope to leave a light on, when I leave.    

Until then, I need to “show-up” and be available. 

Joyous Mary
1937



           

  Zephyr : Poeticspirit

Re: Becoming an Elder

Zephyr said Jun 9, 6:27 AM:

 

I came accross this speech given to uni students and thought it worth sharing here

University of Portland, May 3rd, 2009  Paul Hawken

When I was invited to give this speech, I was asked if I could give a simple short talk that was “direct, naked, taut, honest, passionate, lean, shivering, startling, and graceful.” No pressure there.
Let's begin with the startling part. Class of 2009: you are going to have to figure out what it means to be a human being on earth at a time when every living system is declining, and the rate of decline is accelerating. Kind of a mind-boggling situation… but not one peer-reviewed paper published in the last thirty years can refute that statement. Basically, civilization needs a new operating system, you are the programmers, and we need it within a few decades.

This planet came with a set of instructions, but we seem to have misplaced them. Important rules like don't poison the water, soil, or air, don't let the earth get overcrowded, and don't touch the thermostat have been broken. Buckminster Fuller said that spaceship earth was so ingeniously designed that no one has a clue that we are on one, flying through the universe at a million miles per hour, with no need for seatbelts, lots of room in coach, and really good food—but all that is changing.

There is invisible writing on the back of the diploma you will receive, and in case you didn't bring lemon juice to decode it, I can tell you what I can tell you what it says: You are Brilliant, and the Earth is Hiring. The earth couldn't afford to send recruiters or limos to your school. It sent you rain, sunsets, ripe cherries, night blooming jasmine, and that unbelievably cute person you are dating. Take the hint. And here's the deal: Forget that this task of planet-saving is not possible in the time required. Don't be put off by people who know what is not possible. Do what needs to be done, and check to see if it was impossible only after you are done.

When asked if I am pessimistic or optimistic about the future, my answer is always the same: If you look at the science about what is happening on earth and aren't pessimistic, you don't understand the data. But if you meet the people who are working to restore this earth and the lives of the poor, and you aren't optimistic, you haven't got a pulse. What I see everywhere in the world are ordinary people willing to confront despair, power, and incalculable odds in order to restore some semblance of grace, justice, and beauty to this world. The poet Adrienne Rich wrote, “So much has been destroyed I have cast my lot with those who, age after age, perversely, with no extraordinary power, reconstitute the world.” There could be no better description. Humanity is coalescing. It is reconstituting the world, and the action is taking place in schoolrooms, farms, jungles, villages, campuses, companies, refuge camps, deserts, fisheries, and slums.

You join a multitude of caring people. No one knows how many groups and organizations are working on the most salient issues of our day: climate change,poverty, deforestation, peace, water, hunger, conservation, human rights, and more. This is the largest movement the world has ever seen. Rather than control, it seeks connection. Rather than dominance, it strives to disperse concentrations of power. Like Mercy Corps, it works behind the scenes and gets the job done. Large as it is, no one knows the true size of this movement. It provides hope, support, and meaning to billions of people in the world. Its clout resides in idea, not in force. It is made up of teachers, children, peasants, businesspeople, rappers, organic farmers, nuns, artists, government workers, fisherfolk, engineers, students, incorrigible writers, weeping Muslims, concerned mothers, poets, doctors without borders, grieving Christians, street musicians, the President of the United States of America, and as the writer David James Duncan would say, the Creator, the One who loves us all in such a huge way.

There is a rabbinical teaching that says if the world is ending and the Messiah arrives, first plant a tree, and then see if the story is true. Inspiration is not garnered from the litanies of what may befall us; it resides in humanity's willingness to restore, redress, reform, rebuild, recover, reimagine, and reconsider. “One day you finally knew what you had to do, and began, though the voices around you kept shouting their bad advice,” is Mary Oliver's description of moving away from the profane toward a deep sense of connectedness to the living world.
Millions of people are working on behalf of strangers, even if the evening news is usually about the death of strangers. This kindness of strangers has religious, even mythic origins, and very specific eighteenth-century roots. Abolitionists were the first people to create a national and global movement to defend the rights of those they did not know. Until that time, no group had filed a grievance except on behalf of itself. The founders of this movement were largely unknown – Granville Clark, Thomas Clarkson, Josiah Wedgwood — and their goal was ridiculous on the face of it: at that time three out of four people in the world were enslaved. Enslaving each other was what human beings had done for ages. And the abolitionist movement was greeted with incredulity.  Conservative spokesmen ridiculed the abolitionists as liberals, progressives, do-gooders, meddlers, and activists. They were told they would ruin the economy and drive England into poverty. But for the first time in history a group of people organized themselves to help people they would never know, from whom they would never receive direct or indirect benefit. And today tens of millions of
people do this every day. It is called the world of non-profits, civil society, schools, social entrepreneurship, non-governmental organizations, and companies who place social and environmental justice at the top of their strategic goals. The scope and scale of this effort is unparalleled in history.

The living world is not “out there” somewhere, but in your heart. What do we know about life? In the words of biologist Janine Benyus, life creates the conditions that are conducive to life. I can think of no better motto for a future economy. We have tens of thousands of abandoned homes without people and tens of thousands of abandoned people without homes. We have failed bankers advising failed regulators on how to save failed assets. We are the only species on the planet without full employment. Brilliant. We have an economy that tells us that it is cheaper to destroy earth in real time rather than renew, restore, and sustain it. You can print money to bail out a bank but you can't print life to bail out a planet. At present we are stealing the future, selling it in the present, and calling it gross domestic product. We can just as easily have an economy that is based on healing the future instead of stealing it. We can either create assets for the future or take the assets of the future. One is called restoration and the other exploitation. And whenever we exploit the earth we exploit people and cause untold suffering. Working for the earth is not a way to get rich, it is a way to be rich.

The first living cell came into being nearly 40 million centuries ago, and its direct descendants are in all of our bloodstreams. Literally you are breathing molecules this very second that were inhaled by Moses, Mother Teresa, and Bono. We are vastly interconnected. Our fates are inseparable. We are here because the dream of every cell is to become two cells. And dreams come true. In each of you are one quadrillion cells, 90 percent of which are not human cells. Your body is a community, and without those other microorganisms you would perish in hours. Each human cell has 400 billion molecules conducting millions of processes between trillions of atoms. The total cellular activity in one human body is staggering: one septillion actions at any one moment, a one with twenty-four zeros after it. In a millisecond, our body has undergone ten times more processes than there are stars in the universe, which is exactly what Charles Darwin foretold when he said science would discover that each living creature was a “little universe, formed of a host of self-propagating organisms, inconceivably minute and as numerous as the stars of heaven.”

So I have two questions for you all: First, can you feel your body? Stop for a moment. Feel your body. One septillion activities going on simultaneously, and your body does this so well you are free to ignore it, and wonder instead when this speech will end. You can feel it. It is called life. This is who you are. Second question: who is in charge of your body? Who is managing those molecules? Hopefully not a political party. Life is creating the conditions that are conducive to life inside you, just as in all of nature. Our innate nature is to create the conditions that are conducive to life. What I want you to imagine is that collectively humanity is evincing a deep innate wisdom in coming together to heal the wounds and insults of the past.

Ralph Waldo Emerson once asked what we would do if the stars only came out once every thousand years. No one would sleep that night, of course. The world would create new religions overnight. We would be ecstatic, delirious, made rapturous by the glory of God. Instead, the stars come out every night and we watch television.

This extraordinary time when we are globally aware of each other and the multiple dangers that threaten civilization has never happened, not in a thousand years, not in ten thousand years. Each of us is as complex and beautiful as all the stars in the universe. We have done great things and we have gone way off course in terms of honoring creation. You are graduating to the most amazing, stupefying challenge ever bequested to any generation. The generations before you failed. They didn't stay up all night. They got distracted and lost sight of the fact that life is a miracle every moment of your existence. Nature beckons you to be on her side. You couldn't ask for a better boss. The most unrealistic person in the world is the cynic, not the dreamer. Hope only makes sense when it doesn't make sense to be hopeful. This is your century. Take it and run as if your life depends on it.

  JOYOUS : Contentment Spinner

Re: Becoming an Elder

JOYOUS said Jun 9, 2:11 PM:

 

Thank you Zephyr for sharing this speech.   I requested GAIA to send it to one of my daughters. 

Paul Hawken's thoughts give me much to hold onto as I progress through this, my New Age. 

Joyous Mary
1937

   Meenakshi : Connection

Re: Becoming an Elder

Meenakshi said Jun 10, 5:24 AM:

 

What beautiful words, Joyous Mary, ”Like most Elders I can demonstrate my truth with the way that I live each day and hope to leave a light on, when I leave.  

I'm going to post it on the grapevine.

Gael, I really enjoyed Paul Hawken's speech too.

  Zephyr : Poeticspirit

Re: Becoming an Elder

Zephyr said Jul 1, 3:53 PM:

 

Thanks Joyous and Meenakshi, I thought it both balanced and inspiring, pleased you both enjoyed it.