9 WORDS WOMEN USE

Had to post this some where as it puts smiles on faces - Lee

(1) Fine:  This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.                                           
                                                                           
(2) Five Minutes:  If she is getting dressed, this means at least a half
an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given   
five more minutes to watch the game/race before helping around the house.     
                                                                           
(3) Nothing:   This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.                                                             
                                                                           
(4) Go Ahead:  This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!               
                                                                           
(5) Loud Sigh:  This is actually a word, but is a nonverbal statement   
often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing.  (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)         
                                                                           
(6) That's Okay:  This is one of the most dangerous statements a woman  can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.               
                                                                           
(7) Thanks:  A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint.. Just say you're welcome. (I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless she says 'Thanks a lot' - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all.  DO NOT say 'you're welcome' … that will bring on a 'whatever'). 
                                                                           
(8)  Whatever: Is a woman's way of saying the “f@*%word” ! !!!                                                                                                      
(9) Don't worry about it, I got it:  Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's  wrong?' For the woman's response refer to 3.                           
                                                                          
* Send this to the men you know, to warn them about arguments they can avoid if they remember the terminology.                                   
                                                                           
* Send this to all the women you know to give them a good laugh, cause  they know it's true

Re: 9 WORDS WOMEN USE

at last, someone who knows how women think!

Re: 9 WORDS WOMEN USE

Am I upset about something in this post?
Oh no, Nothing.   
                                                                           
 Thanks for that, organics. I would say that these are words that men AND women use to subtly convey a slightly tangential meaning. To be polite. But if this list says it's women to men, then..that's okay.

I have to say that I get tired by these same lists that must've been compiled by men. SIGH!

As to this one:
“(2) Five Minutes:  If she is getting dressed, this means at least a half
an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given   
five more minutes to watch the game/race before helping around the house.      ”
    
             
You know, this is the one that just doesn't work for me; as I will call and tell friends if I'm likely to be 7 minutes late for an appointment.
So friends, if you want to believe this, go ahead.
 
And men, if this is what you want to believe, then FIne! [capitals intended]..    Whatever !                                                                

Hey really, I'm not upset that the others haven't yet responded to this mail. Don't worry about it, I got it .
____________________________________________

Whew! That was fun! For a moment there, I thought I had a non-woman mind.                 

Re: 9 WORDS WOMEN USE

Tell a man there are 300 billion stars in the universe, and he’ll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint on it, and he’ll have to touch it to be sure.

The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.


Q. What did God say after creating Adam
A. I must be able to do better than that.

Q. How do you get a man to do sit-ups?
A. Put the remote control between his toes.

Q. What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?
A. A widow.

Q. What is the one thing that all men at single bars have in common?
A. They are all married.

Q. Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking?
A. Because those men already have boyfriends.

Q. How does a man change a roll of toilet paper?
A. No one knows - we’ve never seen it done!

Q. What do men consider foreplay?
A. Half an hour of begging

Q. What’s the fastest way to a man’s heart?
A. Through his chest with a sharp knife.

Q. What is it when a man talks nasty to a woman?
A. Sexual harassment.
Q. What is it when a woman talks nasty to a man?
A. $3.99 a minute.

Q. How can you tell if a man is excited?
A. He’s breathing.

Q: Why is a laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
A: Because a woman who can’t afford a washing machine will never be able to support you.

Re: 9 WORDS WOMEN USE

Men Are Just Happier People — (sent to me by a lady friend)

What do you expect from such simple creatures?

Your last name stays put.

The garage is all yours.

Wedding plans take care of themselves.

Chocolate is just another snack.

You can never be pregnant.

You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.

(You can wear NO shirt to a water park.)

Car mechanics tell you the truth.

The world is your urinal.

You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.

You don’t have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.

Same work, more pay.

Wrinkles add character.

Wedding dress - $5000. Tux rental - $100.

The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.

New shoes don’t cut, blister, or mangle your feet.

One mood all the time.

Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.

You know stuff about tanks.

A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.

You can open all your own jars.

You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.

Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.

Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.

You almost never have strap problems in public.

You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.

Everything on your face stays its original color.

The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.

You only have to shave your face and neck.

You can play with toys all your life.

Your belly usually hides your big hips.

One wallet and one pair of shoes: one color for all seasons.

You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.

You can “do” your nails with a pocket knife.

You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache..

You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.

No wonder men are happier.

Re: 9 WORDS WOMEN USE

i dont know which box you are picking out of andrew, but it sure isnt one that id ever want to pick from, especially since a lot of this stuff is just bull baloney and anyone with any sense would know it.

funny though!

Re: 9 WORDS WOMEN USE

Hi Frances,

People take themselves too seriously too often.

I'm just doing my bit to lighten the mood.

Re: 9 WORDS WOMEN USE

My first reaction whenever I read a “women are like this” or “men are this way” is shock and disbelief that people still share such over-generalized jokes. 

I have to admit I am not able to laugh at them. But then I was a very serious person growing up; and gave myself the gift of a light heart on my 51st birthday [that's why age has become so important to me; it's like signposts of earthly life].

Now I try to turn things around and make them funny or witty as I tried to do above!

Funni-ness is in the mind of the reader…or perhaps in the heart.

Re: 9 WORDS WOMEN USE

Andrew -

My wife is visiting my mom in Seattle and I copy-pasted your hilarious jokes to her.  I was laughing so loud as I have seen it all.

Meenakshi -

We live in a funny society where the laughter becomes a release mechanism in this case to see the ridiculocity of it all.

Have to admit this thread did lighten me up a lot!  :-)  good sign…
If I try to bring humor here my intention in only for laughter…..
Best to all of you,
Lee

Re: 9 WORDS WOMEN USE

Lee, I appreciate your doing this; and Andrew too. I like that mothe'rs spirit joke! Love it actually!

Re: 9 WORDS WOMEN USE

Oh I had to laugh at this one!!!!!
By the way how do you guys like my new icon–it's my daughter's cat.

Re: 9 WORDS WOMEN USE

Liz, FINALEMENT!!! I've been waiting to see when you'd change your icon; glad you found the time AND the way to do it!!!

I love cats; so I love that lovely one peeking into our group thru your icon!