Reflections

Is it appropriate and conducive to see our partner (or everyone) as a reflection of ourself? On balance is it a help or a hindrance? Is it selfish or misguided?  Does it help us become more authentic or create confusion?  In the right context, if there is one, what are it's benefits? In the wrong context, what are it's hazards?  Am  feeling  clue-less at the moment.. thoughts are most welcome.

Re: Reflections

Replying to my own post! I feel I'm clutching at straws here… have I even asked a valid, coherent question?… struggling with authenticity… how can we be authentic in relationship if we are learning who we are? How can we learn who we are without relationship? Is the purpose of relationship to give something? rather than get something out of it?

Re: Reflections

Seph, these are lovely questions. In the questioning, there's that glimpse of  clarity.

I think that relationships help us  to understand who we are…or rather, relating to each other does that. How we relate, who we relate to, which aspects of the other person resonate positively or negatively…

I too have first questioned and then begun to understand how each person we meet is a reflection of ourselves, as that saying that's been going around the web for a while now!

I feel that as we become aware of our relating, we become aware of aspects of ourselves. We can only see the other from the framework that we have within us. That changes and evolves as the other responds to us, and we find ourselves being right or wrong , harmonious or not, balanced or imbalanced

As we become aware of ALL our relationships, we begin to glimpse who we are. So, in the reflection of all around me, I begin to expand into their viewpoint and my own, and can begin to come into “who I really am”.  I think this process will continue throughout life, in that greatest of all relationships: ours with ourself, finding, as you say, our authenticity.

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Sharon, are you talking in the sense that you’re the only one here and I’m your reflection type of deal?  If so I could see that becoming a hindrance, but not necessarily.  At my clearest state of connection I’ve come to experience a similar realization in that I’m the only one here in the sense that everything is perfectly tuned to me (not my ego), but in the same sense it’s the same for everyone else.  It’s very paradoxical.  Not sure if that’s anything remotely to what you’re talking about in your first post though.

Treating life as a reflection could create a really intimate, respectful, and compassionate relationship with everything.  That’s if everything is embraced in its proper context.  But if you start seeing yourself as the governing entity of everything then you’re going to run into problems.

I feel relationships are both give and take.  The act of truly giving reciprocates a reception.  Does it not feel good to truly give something of value?  Taking not to be confused with stealing is also equally important.

When it comes to authenticity that’s really just communicating exactly how you’ve been doing in this group.  You don’t have to know who you are to be authentic.  Authenticity goes out the door when someone puts on a façade and/or closes up about their truth.  If a person is being open about not wanting to be open, that is being authentic.  It’s all about being real.

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Seph, I think you asked wonderful questions and it really is tricky ones, depending on who you are talking to. Seeing a reflection of ourselves in our partner can be good or bad. You're seeing the aspects in yourself that you love or dislike and you can learn to work on them together. In relationships, you learn a lot. You learn about yourself and what you truly look for in a partner. You learn what you feel you need to survive and feel loved. We also can learn who we are out of a relationship as well. Before having a relationship, I have always believed and been taught that you have to love yourself first. What I believe that means is that if you can fully love who you are, then you'll attract positive attention from other people and are looked at for your accomplishments. You will only attract negative attention if you don't work on the issues in your life and the problems you have. Other people will get that negative vibe and you'll only attract negative people who use their powers over you in a horrible way. Relationships teach yourself about things you couldn't teach yourself.

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WOO HOO people reflecting stuff at me. I'm touched by all your thoughtful responses. Need to read them again and absorb them all..xxxx thankyou
I really get what you mean Seth… about authenticity.. it's about being real in any given moment.. it does not take a life time to learn it.

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How do we reflect? What are the dynamics of reflecting…. is it an exercise we do whilst interacting? Or is an interaction something we reflect on after the event. Or can we just keep doing it all day long? Are there different forms of reflecting? Can we reflect without deliberately intending too or do we have to be intent on doing it? When we refelct should we focus upon how we have appeared to others of how they have appeared to us? And while we're at it how do you circulate your own blood? (joke)

Re: Reflections

I think there are two sources of 'reflection'…one is our head, and the other is our heart.

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Beautiful Jane… reading your last paragraph made me want to be in love!
I really get what you're saying about the difference between head and heart reflection…

really good stuff thankyou