Re: Affirmations

Hi, Awen!

I’d bet most artists have been there, at one time or another. I’m so glad you’re working with the blocks.

I’ve been looking everywhere for this Keith Haring quote to share with you. Can’t locate the source, so I’ll paraphrase. He said in a documentary once that he felt it was important to make as many different images as possible, simply because they represented new things people may not have seen before. And he felt that was his service to people – providing them with new visual excitement.

As for me, when I make stuff, I tend to make more stuff. And when I worry about making, then I don’t make anything. So when I’m feeling stuck, I make something small and low-stakes. You know, doodles, or a felt flower, or a refrigerator magnet or something. Usually that “greases the wheels” for bigger creative work. And I keep a big box where all these “starter” works go – kind of a message to myself that nothing is so bad it deserves to be thrown away. Who knows? Maybe someday I’ll open it and they’ll have all coalesced into something amazing. :-)

Re: Affirmations

Awen,
I have most definately been caught in this trap. Changing your affirmations, I would say, is a huge stride in the right direction.

Not long ago, I didn't paint or write out of a sense of inadequacy, or incompetence. It was a challenging place to be, and it lasted for years. My stiffled creativity caused a great deal of difficulty in my life. I was discussing this 'block' with a close friend who made a profound statement. I can't remember exactly, but I'll do the best I can as it changed my whole perspective. He basically told me that I was being egotisticle to think that my creations would matter so much to people that they'd spend an effort criticizing, or even commenting. How big my ego must be to think that I mattered SO MUCH to complete strangers. Those that truly loved me and cared for me would appreciate anything I did. I was, at first, shocked that he would say what initially seemed to me as harsh. After a while, I realized that he had a very good point. Who was I doing these paintings for? For whom did I write? The answer to both was 'me' and so, I reclaimed my creativity. I write now more than I ever did. Painting takes more time for me and is so more often on the back burner. I'm also a singer and sit-in regularly during another friend's gigs. We have a BEST time and neither of us cares much about who's listening and who isn't.

My encouragement is with you. I hope you are able to reclaim your reativity and your voice of creation.

Peace,
Anna

Re: Affirmations

Late reply to an old thread, but hey, these issues are timeless. ;)

I have two quotes to share with you on this topic. The first is from a professional theatre director I worked with several years ago. He had stellar credentials: Royal Shakespeare Company, Old Vic, professional shows in NYC, his own theatre company in Australia, plus a number of television credentials. He told me “Every time I start work on a show, I feel certain that this is the one where I'm going to be found out - that people will realize I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing.”

#2 from Kurt Vonnegut: “When I write, I feel like an armless and legless man with a crayon in my mouth.

What I take away from these (and this is reinforced by my own experience) is that you don't ever reach a point where you say “yes, I've arrived - I am a master of my artwork” - instead, you just get comfortable with feeling like you're always learning.

I've been playing the piano for a while now. I know that there are things I can play now that I couldn't play a few years ago, but that's usually not what I'm focussed on. I'm usually focussed on the things I *can't* do, simply because I'm always pushing myself and trying new things. It's like the more you learn, the more you realize you don't know! ;) I can look back and pat myself on the back for the things I've learned, but then I look ahead, see all the things I can't do, and just keep moving on.

You're exactly right when you say “I don't have to drop off the quest for excellence, but if I don't sing and write, I will never achieve it, no matter how many lessons I take” - there are some lessons that can't be learned except by just doing it, so give yourself that permission. You think you're just a beginner? Well, that's OK - lots of people feel that way, even the ones who have been doing for a very long time. :)