truly bad writing.

Here I am, stationed in front of my typewriter, listening to the low hum, delighted by each click, every clack, as I endeavor to write as poorly as possible for the next fifteen minutes.

When I found this assignment I raced downstairs with excitement I pulled my heavy typewriter out from behind a box in the storage closet like a hoss. I ran up the stairs and put it down on the floor of my empty spare room determined to write something.

My dainty fingers pushed gently on the latch and to my surprise it did not give way.  The latch was stuck! I pushed harder, but the metal hurt my fingers, my thumb more specifically. Frantically, I shook the case. I looked it over for another possible point of entry, I shook it again, I tried the latch over and over all to no avail. I began to get very angry with Phil for having put it in the closet in the first place.

I sat for a moment stewing, then I picked up my cell phone and dialed his number. Dialed is a bit of an overstatement. I actually just had to hit 'talk' twice. I call him very often. When he answered the phone I began:

“You put my typewriter in the closet, and now I can't open it!” After having nearly screamed this I started to realize that perhaps my anger was a bit misplaced. I had already started, though so I didn't see any need to withdraw the comment.

“Excuse me? Baby, what are you talking about?” was his response from the sea of sounds that announced him to be at work.

In a softened tone I continued “Well, I want to write, and I can not open my typewriter.”

“You'll have to get your dad to help you with that. Please, Baby, I'm at work I've got at least four things going on right now.”

Making no apologies I let him go with an I love you and goodbye. I had caught excitedly at the idea that there was a person in the house who could help me. I had totally forgotten my dad was here.

I ran back downstairs and enlisted his help. He readily agreed and came upstairs with me to examine my new enemy, the case containing my typewriter. He looked it over, pushed on the latch, and pulled it open. I was almost as angry with him for opening it so easily as I was with myself for not pushing just a little bit harder.

So, there's some writing for you. Now, I am exhausted and silly from the above mentioned exchange. Whatever comes of this assignment I can assure you that I will be leaving my typewriter case open.

Re: truly bad writing.

Ahem!! You call this bad writing?!!

Do you know how many people would give their eye-teeth to write like this? LOTS.

I know you can do, um, bettter, um, worse. I want utter awfulness. Something that I have to force myself to read, something which makes me squirm in my seat and feel hotly embarrassed that such words even exist…. ;-)

You know I'm playing don't you. I love what has come out of this 'assignment' for you - it amazes me, quite frankly. But I do want you to try even harder… ok? Please?

Love,
Sandra

Re: truly bad writing.

You flatter me. My internal editor is of a type that, at present, this was the worst I could do. I promise I just let it all flow out without going back at all. As for editing before the thoughts were fully formed…..I won't dare to say I am innocent.

You have no idea how much it pained me not to be putting in and changing words and punctuation while I transcribed this. I had to satisfy myself with a spellcheck that I will tell you was not at all satisfying.

You are right. I was not completely committed to the assignment. I will go directly and try harder.

Re: truly bad writing.

at present, this was the worst I could do.

I'm laughing out loud dear Loni (the best gift anyone can give me)!

Okay for you I'm going to suggest a special assignment. Noni decided to do one week of Fragments. Your assignment… wait for it… is one week of Truly Bad Writing. Just 10 or 15 minutes a day. I want it all, every piece you write. Ok? No pressure of course, none of that rubbish here, but, gosh I'd love it if you said yes. (I'm sorry, I know this is a not so subtle form of pressure).

~ Sandra

Re: truly bad writing.

Hello Loni,

This says it all:

determined to write something

and you did it! Concrats and keep on typing. That's all you need to do, as hard as it can get sometimes. I love your 'aha' moment.

Love,

Nono

Re: truly bad writing.

I was truly and madly egaged the whole time! There is such a natural voice here, speaking easily to me as if simplicity is the language of the writing gods. I love it!  & I echo Sandra's thought about …to write like this…I would give up my second child to write like this!

Oh wait ~maybe I did give up my second child to have her write like this.  teh hee
Syn

~more please!

Re: truly bad writing.

Hey! I AM your second child!!! Do you think that is funny??? I don't.

@ Sandra, I was not joking about trying again. I have another piece….it is worse than the first and ready for posting. This time I am not editing at all. You can dig through all of the typos, misspellings, and randomness yourself, as per your request.

Re: truly bad writing.

I see an opening! I see the gates that not excist open… This is a moment of planetary change, this is a break through. I can smell it all the way from Sweden. Mon dieu!