Religion

What is so sacred about my
Health, a car, the market, dessert?
My head is always bowed to
Something, eyelids long since
Become transparent. But it is
A temporary asana, a position
I take, a place I find myself.
Inside, church, cherche, people.
But the apparent intimacy is just
A consolation:
Whether I break bread or my body,
Whether I drink wine or taste from a letting.
We are fitted with prayer, a longing
For the miraculous, a rabbit from
A hat, or one over the moon.
If things slow I feel the space
Between these words. Where they
Appear to come together they don't.
In this dogma of comprehension
The words tirelessly chant and
Genuflect. There between the cross,
The five and six pointed stars, inside
That cough of a dark brush stroked
Circle, between each bead, along
the curve of that crescent moon,  lies
A glossary of only.

Re: Religion

There is a whole lot here!  I took from your words the feeling that anything has the potential of being an object of worship and a higher power is all in the perspective.  We are so trained to worship something we get lost.
Poetically speaking, I really liked the imagery at the beginning and the end of the poem.  It is interesting you begin with the gods of consumerism and end with the gods of control.  Nothing very pretty about either.
Thank you for some very good food for thought.
:)
MAme

Re: Religion

Thanks Mame, you pretty much covered the whole ball of wax. This is what I was going for. But it can be risky to put too much thought, too much idea and not enough of the here and now into a poem. I think this poem is top-heavy that way and may require too much work for a poem.  Axiom's latest poem is a good example of  balance in this sense.  Thanks for your succinct comments Mame.

Re: Religion

You got there though I think Ron, and it's a very eloquent critique on your own work in your reply to Mame .

I tend to agree with you but only because you mentioned it … personally I don't mind 'working' with and for, an author/poet … get what you mean by balance though and it's a good insight … will have to find axiom's poem … do you think you could post a link to it in your comment maybe?

Jim x

Re: Religion

Ron, you are a word freakin' god. Whenever I read your stuff it feels like every word is worth about ten of a normal person's. Every word is packed and jammed and rotated and spunked. Ends up with a deep shimmer, a resonance that goes beyond words, beyond sound, into neverwhereland, a place where meaning reaches past spirit into flesh.

Thanks bub.

Love and Wonder,

Tom

Re: Religion

Tom,  I mentioned to Mame that that was the whole ball of wax. But your words here are like a chamois cloth. Your exuberant way with words makes the poem shimmer. You really bring such support, care and love  to everyone's work. For this I am grateful and amazed.  To you  Tom.

Re: Religion

My two bits on 'top heavy'.

My reading of this poem was actually very experiencial - I found myself moving from head (busy, fast, not present) to toe (slowing down, breathing, being here now).

Sometimes, for me, I don't need to 'understand' (with my mind) a poem. Many of the greats I don't ( eliot, plath) but another part of me does, a much deeper part, I'd say. It is, for me, like looking at a painting. I don't need to 'get the symbols' particularly, in fact I'm hopeless at such analysis, but if a painting has a sensual effect on me, perhaps bringing me to a place of presence, or gentleness, or ease, or light..  this is more than enough 'understanding'.

Love,
Sandra