A night fear - beginning

The candles sputtered as he walked by. It had been a normal day. He spent nine hours in the office, listening to the others create more work for him. Henry said nothing. Just smiled as they talked themselves into believing they were actually solving problems, rather than creating new ones. It didn’t matter to him. He was getting paid by the hour. The more problems there were, the better it was for him – even if they were the stupidest problems possible. Henry hated smart people but they were the reason he still had a job so he learned early on to keep his mouth shut.

The storm came up suddenly after he had finished his supper. Henry sat at the small melamine table with aluminum strips edging the table top, fork halfway up to his mouth and the lights went out.

“Shit.” He said to the darkness. Henry thought about where he had put the emergency candles. The junk drawer in the kitchen. He stood and pushed the chair back with his calves. There was a sudden flash of lightning that lit up the room. Henry saw he had a clear path to the kitchen. He fumbled with the drawers, cutting his hand in the first one he opened. He had forgotten about the knives in the first one. Henry sucked at the blood oozing from his index finger. He opened another, towels. Another, things he couldn’t identify. String, papers, elastics. He decided it had to be the junk drawer. He dug his other hand in deeper until the tips of his fingers touched cool wax.

Bingo, he thought. He grabbed a handful and went back to the dining room. A few minutes later, the candlelight leaped across the empty walls. His microwave dinner was cold. Henry shoved it aside. He would wait until the power came back on to heat it up again, even though it tasted like cardboard. The doorbell rang suddenly. The shrill buzzer cut through the night like a sharp blade. Henry jumped and felt his skin prickle. He was not expecting anyone. Henry went to the door and leaned in to look through the peep hole.

“Hello?” he asked. He couldn’t see anyone in front of the door. Henry could see that the storm was getting worse. The rain fell in distorted sheets as he peered through the warped glass. He didn’t want to open the door. Who ever it was must have left. He went into the living room and slumped into his easy chair. He fingered the remote control. The tv was dead. It sat gaping at him black mouthed and empty. Henry rubbed his face with one hand. He could have sworn that it was smirking at him. He leaned back and sighed. Henry was too tired. The doorbell rang again. Henry didn’t jump this time. He didn’t move. The doorbell rang again. Henry still did not move. The bell fell silent. Henry closed his eyes.

The storm moved outside. He vaguely heard the trees groaning in protest, but they were drowned out by the roar of the wind. In spite of the racket Henry fell asleep. As the minutes ticked methodically by, his head lolled back against the top of the easy chair. The odd angle of his neck caused Henry to start snoring. He sounded like he was drowning in his own salvia.

Wax from the candles started to drip over the edge of the side table and spilled onto the linoleum below. It bubbled outward with each drop. There was a loud knock on the back door. Henry did not stir. He did not hear the rapping on the glass either. Nor did he see the ghostly white face of the young boy eyes wide and terrified looking in. Henry kept on sleeping.

Thunder boomed and lightning flashed repeatedly outside the window. When the tree crashed through the roof of the house, crushing Henry’s front porch, Henry woke up. Branches and debris narrowly missed him. Henry leapt to his feet, swearing a blue streak. He tried the phone but the line was dead. He stumbled through the kitchen and out the backdoor. Cold rain assaulted him. Henry hurried into the bleak darkness towards the alley that ran behind his house. He did not see the red lights flashing until he made it passed the high wooden fence.

“Hey Buddy? You ok?” someone asked Henry. The white light from their flashlight blinded him. He lifted his arm to shield himself from the intense light. The unknown man pulled his arm and Henry had no choice but to follow. He didn’t know what else to do. The rain stung his eyes, making it impossible to see. Henry could only hear his voice cutting in and out with the wind.

“Ralph, check this guy out.” The voice said. Another voice shouted in between claps of thunder. Unseen hands gently pushed Henry into sitting again.

“You hurt?” the new voice asked. Henry shook his head. He realized that whatever happened, he was ok. He struggled to find his voice.

“Nah, I’m fine.” He croaked. Henry thought his voice sounded like someone else’s.

“You’re lucky man, that big old tree crushed most of your house! Lucky to be alive.” He said. Henry nodded, not knowing what else to say.

It wasn’t until morning, when the sun rose, red and ominous over the wreckage that the rescuers found the boy’s mangled body under the bench on what used to be his front porch. That was the beginning of Henry’s night fear.
~

Re: A night fear - beginning

Reading this gave me the willies, probably because I'm afraid of storms.  I felt a little better just because there was a man around -lol!  Like that would save me.

So, this -I-character, this Henry, seems to be a bachelor leading a pretty quiet life.  I can't help but wonder what his story is.  Why he is all alone and eating microwaved food that tastes like cardboard, etc.  Seems like a nice enough guy though and I flinched when he cut his finger in the knife drawer - ouch. 

I thought we were heading into a ghost story when the doorbell rang and no one was at the door.  Then we swung back into normal, tired Henry falling asleep in the midst of a crashing storm.  The realization that it was a boy trying to get in out of the storm (more palpitations!).  And then the sad ending that leaves Henry with night fear. 

I enjoyed all the details and could see the kitchen as though I were there.  I could see the boy with a frightened face peering in, hair splattered to his face.  The only place I found pause, something that threw me out of the story a bit, was the doorbell ringing.  Do they ring when the electricity is off?  Maybe they do, but it stopped me and made me wonder.

Thank you for sharing! 

Love, Ayla

Re: A night fear - beginning

thanks Ayla!

Do they ring when the electricity is off?  Maybe they do, but it stopped me and made me wonder.

hey - good question. I have no idea. I think mine has a back up battery for when the power goes out (like the smoke alarms do etc) but it's a good question… maybe it would add to the story if the doorbell didn't work!

may have to look at that for a re-write!

xo
la

Re: A night fear - beginning

I enjoyed this leigh ann.  The sense of impending doom of the doorbell which i also stumbled on) and then henry falling asleep was a great set-up for the anti-climactic, pre-ending fo the tree falling. I thought we made it safely through the story till th eboy re-entered the story.  Well done! I wold have never guessed that is where iut was heading at that point.

I kind of liked not knowing much about him beyond what we were given, it allowed me to make him into the image i had in my head of 'guys like him'.  teh microwave, not knowing his way around his own kitchen drawers, the office stuff all gave me enough to have a sense of who he is. 

He dug his other hand in deeper until the tips of his fingers touched cool wax.

This line felt so real as if i was the one fumbling around and finding the candles.

Thanks for the surprise ending, well crafted little tale here.

Peace,
michael

Re: A night fear - beginning

thanks Michael - I will definitely change the bit about the doorbell. It's funny because I think I have only experienced old doorbells, ones that are actually a bell not electronic (not counting my own house of course) - I usually just knock because I have missed the button to push. (like at my friend's house, he has three bells, I just knock and use his dog to alert him!)

thanks for the feedback on the drawer scene… I was hoping that it would come across that way, very tactile.

peace la

Re: A night fear - beginning

I also liked the sensuality of the knife and the candle, not that I'd want to get cut by a knife but I have done that.
“sucked at the blood oozing from his index finger” 
That makes it so real. I also cut my index finger on a knife in a drawer so I immediately felt it. Then the candle coming after that was as if you had already set up the sensual experience so the next one was just as clear.

Re: A night fear - beginning

thanks Jenny! It is a personal fear of mine - reaching into a drawer and cutting my hand on it (I have a strong fear of cutting my hands generally speaking) … so I think that is why that scene became so real… because I've imagined the details so many times hahaha.
xo

Re: A night fear - beginning

la, I agree with all that's been said.  Great sensual detail.  I was feeling my heart begin to race, too.  It's a really great wonderful set-up.  (I'm having technical difficulties…again.)  An ordinary guy.  A storm.  A lost boy.  I'm excited to hear what comes next - I'm hoping you mean 'beginning' literally… 8~)

The doorbell didn't bother me - it didn't occur to me that they're usually electric.  I just jumped at the imagined, unexpected sound.  I thought the dripping wax was extremely ominous, though.  Thought you might be going in a completely different direction.  It added nicely to the atmosphere.

Re: A night fear - beginning

thanks Jody! yes, just a beginning I think!