Notes from my time with Deena Metzger

I will copy some notes over the next days from my time with Deena.

In no particular order.

Re: Notes from my time with Deena Metzger

and to make it clear - what I write here are my own experience, my interpretation,not necessarily Deena's actual words.

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:siona whispers:

Sandra. These are such a treat. I love seeing / hearing things through yours eyes and ears, and I love the gifts you've brought back.

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sandra whispers back a big smile !

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Dreams: the possibility that they come from outside of you, from something much larger than you, the possibility that they are are possibly saying something much more than simply reflecting your daily anxieties – take a look at what else they could be teaching/saying/indicating, share your dreams with others, look for the patterns.. listen deeply for the larger 'story'.

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How is it possible to neutralise the symbols of your anguish?

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Allow your personal anguish to resonate into something larger - something which has meaning for all of us, something which guides us through to something new, something that nourishes the future…

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What is the process that takes us from 'knowing' something to being altered by what we know?

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Knowing? And ”Choose what is beautiful.”

I have a concern Sandra. I have been thinking about this a lot.
I just love demons and I bring them along almost everywhere in some form or another. I like to dwell in lust and love and nature (human and non-human).

This concerns me badly.

Do I keep the demons alive? Do I let them pass on earth by letting them dwell around my unspoken fantasies? Do I make the demons by writing? Do I increase the pain?
Many “spiritual” people said when Ingmar Bergman, the demon director, passed away that it was good. He took his demons with him.

If Deena says we should choose the beautiful…

Well, this worry me Sandra – a lot.

Re: Notes from my time with Deena Metzger

well….
hmm. Long talk here I suspect, and don't forget these little snippets are taken out of context. Perhaps it depends on what you mean by demons. Most of the people who were at Deena's workshop had lived through extraordinary things, had on their plate, extraordinary things – one of the women's first period happened in a bunker as the war in Afghanistan happened in 2001. Another's father was a war photographer in Hiroshima. Other, more private, personal 'demons'.

Yes to writing them, yes to exploring them, yes to finding out about them. Yes to including them. I suppose, in writing, for me, there has to be a way through, a way out. Some redemptive quality. The difference, perhaps, between, say, porn and erotica. There was an anonymous assignment about a serial killer recently posted. It was well done, and I needed 'more'. I needed to understand what had brought this person to this. Perhaps in understanding we can find ways to make a world where such things are less frequent. What makes a man a Mugabe? Simply to write how awful he is, isn't enough for me. So too with the personal demons. And, of course there are things that happen in the world that people know little about, that are kept silent. These things need to be 'known', to be unveiled, I believe. And then, there is forgiveness.

The focus from Deena is what is your vision? your vision for life? For yourself? For all living things? What can you do, personally, to manifest that vision? For me it's not about hiding the demons, but bringing them to light, perhaps finding a way to bring love and light to the darkness. Not to avoid the darkness, not to deny it, not to hide it.

Demons can be understood in so many ways. Are they the same thing as 'evil'? I don't believe so.

Long conversation…. and a complex one. I don't feel I can do it justice right at this moment…

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Thank goodness you think of this way.

When I read your answer it did hit me, I did experience the wonderfull healing through NaNo and through Lizzies torment. In that moment when I became the predator and beeing “the victim” all at once. That moment - when I couldn't say who was who, the circle closed and it became one.

Pushing the so called envelope is taking it beyond, it really gives you understanding of the “demonic” aspect.

Pure ecumenically I would say that “evil” is needed on earth. How could we know love and choose the good and beautiful, if, that's right, saw the evil.

I also remember, when I got my big break through with my painting I explored “Light”. My VecicArt teacher told me to make a painting about light. Long I stirred at the canvas and wondered. Then I threw my brushes away and I filled my hands with black colour, I smirred it all over, it was a wonderfull feeling. My teacher came behind me and whispered in my ear so that the other studens wouldn't be disturbed: “Concratulations!”
(I think you have seen “The Light” painting)

The Grace is more amazing with deeper sade of darkness.

Words like karma and human nature come to mind now… allthough a little voice is still saying in me: “Would there be a monster if you didn't say there was one?”

I'll linger on with my demons. I think they are created by the Great Creator.

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mmm. Nice to read you. Personally I find it facinating to explore the darker sides of people. It's so easy to say, that's not me, I could never do that, etc. I believe we have in ourselves the potential to do every horror. What makes some of us manifest this potential, and others not?

And to be able to include the victim and the perpetrator. To climb inside both, to feel what it is. Yes, to all this. Include, feel, discover, transform, heal, forgive. As the wonderful Thich Nhat Hanh says in Call Me By My True Names

“…I am the twelve-year-old girl, refugee on a small boat,
who throws herself into the ocean after being raped by a sea
pirate,
and I am the pirate, my heart not yet capable of seeing and
loving.”

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Reading these posts has inspired  thoughts towards the self, personal outlook, life, and more…     Amazing what words strung together can do. Thank you  :)