Truly Bad: The ADD Writer

as of late, I've been feeling some what of an ADD writer…

So earlier, I was writing something about working out right? So then i started describing it, and it was going ok i guess, and then i started talking about lakes. but i remembered the other day that i really wanted to GO to the lake because i haven't been to one in sooo long. and then i remembered one time when we were on a boat and my dad always said to never jump out and then my cousin emily got flipped under her knee board and he jumped out and we made fun of him for ages. and then i started thinking about how my uncle teases me a lot because… well i don't know, that's just the way he is i think. 

and then i started thinking about how being in Spain the last four months has really made me realize who I am and what I want out of life. but then i started freaking out because i have a physiology exam in a week and i have barely studied for it. i really only have to pass, but i just have less motivation every day. i just need to get my ass in gear and start studying again. but i really want to watch Sybil with mom. sally field is a fabulous actress and the movie is due at 11pm tonight i think, so we have to watch it this morning because i work at two. good god. this day is so busy, but i love being busy. and i think if i write anymore, you people will need a dramamine to keep from getting dizzy.

Re: Truly Bad: The ADD Writer

I just loved this. I've been totally feeling like my writing is ADD the past while…

Actually your piece felt just like the mind works, most of the time! How one thing bounces to another.  Such great details, I felt like I'd been dropped into a whole life, 'shown' so much more than what anyone could normally do in just 2 paragraphs. I could actually read a whole book like this - I'd need some kinda story-line probably - but this kind of voice is so addictive. I think I like being dizzy!

I'd love to see what 'happened' if you kept at it for a few pages…

great stuff.

Love,
Sandra

Re: Truly Bad: The ADD Writer

so i guess i kept writing. even though i thought i probably shouldn't. i always find that i have the strangest trains of thought. my brother hates it when i try to explain. i just think its fascinating how your brain jumps from one thing to the next. it has no logic really. i just keep having such random panic attacks. i keep thinking *only… wednesday, thursday, friday, saturday, sunday, five days until the test and then you'll be done with physiology forever and you won't have to worry about it anymore* but then i think shite [as the irish say. man i miss those boys. they were so freaking hilarious.]. i have no motivation. but i have to pass because then if i don't pass then i won't get into the nursing school. i mean technically i'm already accepted, but i just have to pass this class, and just thinking about this is giving me a panic attack. not really mind you, but you know when you have this sense of impending doom about something that's been looming for weeks and weeks and you'll only feel better once it's done, however ugly? like nausea that builds up to the vomiting. oh god. that is so disgusting. sorry i mentioned it, but it's kind of the only good analogy i can come up with. but you know? that feeling that oh-god-oh-god-oh-god-i'm-so-disgustingly-nauseous-but-i-don't-want-to-throw-up-because-that-is-just-the-worst-thing-ever. and then you ralph and you realize that you should have done that a million years ago because you would have felt like a sweaty, eyes-watering, heaving waif, but better? yeah. that's my sense of impending doom. but i do remember this one time that i got really really shwasty off beer and i woke up the next morning thinking “oh my god. if i move i will barf.” so i laid there. in my dorm room bed. for like nine straight hours. just to avoid throwing up. that's how much i despise throwing up. good thing i've never thought about bulimia. eek.

that was really dramatic, don't you think? i think i'm more dramatic than i realize and it comes out in inopportune, or i think i should say, surprising moments. but good grief. i have so much studying to do. and i have work tomorrow. but hey, at least the job is easy. i don't think i've ever had a job as easy as this one. sure i get rejected a lot, but hey i'm still getting paid $8/hr which is pretty damn good considering that we are in a recession. ha! i can finally say it! living in spain the last four months hearing them say crisi[s], or in phonetic speak–cree-see–because i lived in andalusia, so they just leave the ends off of words. so there you have it: creesee: the crisis. 

well… i've gotten my mind off and running again. this was a terrible idea right before bed. oops. 

Re: Truly Bad: The ADD Writer

Ahhhhhhh! This is reminding me of my relatively recent attempt to finish my doctoral degree. But I have to… But I can't… But what if…? Panic running rampant. :)

I love (if that's the right word) this analogy:

… you know when you have this sense of impending doom about something that's been looming for weeks and weeks and you'll only feel better once it's done, however ugly? like nausea that builds up to the vomiting. oh god. that is so disgusting. sorry i mentioned it, but it's kind of the only good analogy i can come up with. but you know? that feeling that oh-god-oh-god-oh-god-i'm-so-disgustingly-nauseous-but-i-don't-want-to-throw-up-because-that-is-just-the-worst-thing-ever. and then you ralph and you realize that you should have done that a million years ago because you would have felt like a sweaty, eyes-watering, heaving waif, but better?

That is really showing it like it is. Good job.

Ruth

Re: Truly Bad: The ADD Writer

thanks. when i reread this i felt like i sounded like i was about thirteen, but we all have to regress every once in awhile. i'm glad you liked it. i might try putting together a short story in the train-of-thought mode and see how it turns out. you never know. sometimes the most honest things come out. thanks for the comment!