Birds and Invented Cages (excerpts)

thought I would just move this over now while I was thinking about it … this excerpt is from Day 1:

Lila sat at the window in her usual place. The trees were practically bare after the wind and rain the night before. Yellow waves of leaves blew, tumbling over themselves up the road. The lawn in the front yard was still full of them. She would have to rake later, she thought, but not now. Lila didn't have the energy to get up and find her boots or sweater. Instead, she pulled the worn black sketch book that she kept her letters in and started to write.

Sunday, November 1

Dear Malcolm,
There are days left. I realized this morning when I woke up that it has been a very long time since I last wrote you. I know you don’t mind if I write or if I don’t, that you know how things are for me, but I realized this morning how much I have missed writing to you. There is no reason to go through every single detail of the past twenty five years, but I imagine that those details will come up from time to time. Whatever comes up while I am writing to you, I know that you will listen quietly and offer your support as you have always. That is a great comfort to me.
 This conversation with you is so long over due. I remember the last dream I had with you. I found you sitting on the beach, surrounded with brilliant white sand and breaking open fruit to put on a wooden tray that was next to you. I was in the water, walking towards you. The water was impossibly blue and crystal clear. I could see fish swimming around me. You asked me to come to you and sit, but I had to move around slowly, to avoid stepping on the fish that instinctively I knew were poisonous and dangerous. It took some time but eventually I found my way to you. The entire time though you were talking with me, chuckling as you often do, in a low rumbling voice like soft thunder on a late summer evening. It seemed we talked for hours that night. I still remember what you showed me;  the tall pillar that you carved for me. The story of my life was carved there, every detail that I had written to you, every story that I had told you, the stories that I didn’t tell you and even the stories I have yet to tell. I was sad that morning after waking up because suddenly you were no longer there with me, and I did not have time to see every side of the pillar. I realise now it doesn’t matter what I didn’t see. I saw what I needed to see.

I suppose in many ways this letter is a new beginning between us.  Thank you for always being here. I hope that I will make you proud.
Lila
~
11:05am
Dear Malcolm

The radio is buzzing. I don’t know why I turned it on. The cat has come down, the one that just started showing up at the door. I let her adopt me. She isn’t the friendliest of cats, doesn’t like to be touched. It must be the result of the life that she’s had, wandering through the streets without a home of her own. I guess she didn’t need one until she found my door. She never comes down to sleep in my room, but tonight, here she is. She disappeared into the other room when I started writing. I didn’t notice her coming back until she was suddenly beside me, paw up and tapping me daintily on the shoulder to get my attention.
 It is strange. Her eyes are wide and green, trying to tell me something. I didn’t know what she wanted, and went back to writing again, and she tapped me a second time on the shoulder. Reluctantly I started scratching her on the head, right behind her ears. After some minutes, she finally has allowed me to get back to writing. She is settled down beside me, leaning against my legs under the blanket.  It feels like she is guarding me from something, someone. She isn’t sleeping, but is staring at the corner. The corner of course is empty, but she doesn’t take her eyes off of the walls. I hope she does relax soon because it is starting to creep me out, her staring. What is she guarding me from? Why? She just turned and looked at me as if to give me the answer. I don’t speak cat. I tell her in my head that I am getting back to writing now, and she turns back to the wall and continues staring. I would feel better if she went to sleep. At least that would keep me from wondering what was there in the corner staring back.
Lila
~
Conversations through the glass
Sitting at the window
Watching the last leaves dance
On the branches, nearly bare
The ending becomes the beginning
While the wind plays another song
Through the cracks and holes
Of this Old house
~
 3:42pm
I didn’t mean to write to you again today. I have been listening to the wind, and the rain has just started to fall. It’s a cold November night. The house is empty and I don’t feel like going out into the darkness. I would rather sit here with the firelight and continue these letters. I am curious. I found the box of the old letters that I wrote to you, all those years ago. I cannot bring myself to read them. At least, I cannot do that yet. Maybe one day soon I will. It will be like opening up an old journal. Will I recognize the person who wrote them? I wonder. Mr. Fitzmaurice once said that when we write, whether it is for others or for ourselves, going back and reading what we wrote, especially after a long period of time… there is a risk of not being able to recognize the person that we once were. That makes me a bit scared to open the box. I don’t know exactly who I will find in there. You, though, you never seem to change. Even as I am sitting here in the growing night, I can feel you. You are just the same. Is this how it always is? I wonder.

Tonight I am filled with questions, but am afraid to write them out. I am afraid of the answers. I know that I am. I need to be brave and just ask you. Later I will do that.

Now, the wind has picked up. The winds are rattling in their old wooden casements. Hal came by yesterday and put on the storm windows. I am happy that he did. I don’t think it will be too much longer before the snow flies. My fingers are crossed. I do love the winter, when everything is blanketed in white, but it is the cold that I cannot bear these days. It gets into my bones and freezes me from the inside out. This winter I am sure that I will become a frozen lolly waiting for the mail or coming in from the car. Who knows. I miss the summer. We didn’t really have one this year. Too much rain, too many chilly winds. Everything is changing so quickly. I think maybe that is why I have started to write to you again. The change is coming so quickly, too quickly for my liking and I am holding on to what is important before it all gets swept away.

You know though why I stopped writing, right? That is the first question that I need to ask tonight, the one that I am afraid to know the answer to. I hope that the answer is yes. Many times I have thought about you, talked to you even in my head, but writing became too painful. No it wasn’t the writing, it was the words themselves that were too painful to commit to paper. I remember those days as though they happened yesterday. They didn’t. It was a very long time ago, I realize. 
 ~

Re: Birds and Invented Cages (excerpts)

excerpt from Day 6:

The water from the broken vase moved across the table slowly. The smooth wooden edges did not resist it, and the water flowed over like a small waterfall.

‘Oh my GOD, HAL! Grab a towel. The water will stain the wood. Ohhhh” she wailed “ It’s going to ruin the carpet! HURRY!” Hal’s mother screeched and smacked the back of his head with her open hand. She jumped away from the table with her arms up waving them frantically. Hal hurried to the kitchen and returned with a towel. He didn’t say a word to his mother. He knew it was better not to. It would only add to her panic and distress and cause her to lash out more.

“Hal are you stupid? Not that one! It’s dirty! You were just using it to dry the dishes. Go get something else, something clean!” she said. Hal saw his mother dancing from foot to foot out of the corner of his eye. He kept his face smooth, not wanting to give her another excuse to yell. He hurried back to the kitchen and looked in the drawer where he had put folded towels from the laundry that morning. His mother came to the doorway of the kitchen and screeched.

“Hurray, you are too slow. It’s already ruined.” She yelled.

“Mom, it’s ok. I am coming” Hal said. He realized his mistake when he turned around. His mother’s face was beet red, and she looked around wildly.

“Don’t you dare talk back to me. You ignorant shit.” She screamed. She reached for the nearest thing she could pick up. Hal ducked when the frying pan came flying towards his head. It crashed against the wall, breaking the plaster. His mother continued to shout and scream at him. Hal retreated to the corner. There was no way he could make it passed her, not without being hit hard with whatever she had in her hand at the time. It was three steps to the back door, then he could jump out to the porch, to freedom. Unless his father was coming home at the same time, then there would be no use in running. None at all.

As quickly as she exploded, his mother was suddenly quiet. She stood, bracing herself, and breathing heavily. Her hair stuck to her face and sweat dripped from her forehead. Black mascara trailed across her cheeks where tears had gone before. She couldn’t look at Hal. She left him cowering in the corner and stomped upstairs to her bedroom. Hal waited until he heard the slam of the door before standing up again. He breathed a shuddering sigh and started to cry too.
~

Hal’s eyes flew open. The room was dark. He could hear the hum of machines from somewhere in the room. The dream was vivid in his mind still. He hated reliving the worst moments of his childhood over and over again. The sheets were drenched with his sweat. Hal shivered. Someone passed by the door to the room and Hal remembered he was in the hospital still. He sighed. Hal was still pretty sore and beaten up from the accident. He would be in a wheelchair until his legs healed enough, then physio. He dreaded it all. The last time the doctor came to check on him, he said that Hal would be going home in a few days. They were worried that there was some internal damage still and wanted to do some more tests to be sure. Hal was tired of being poked and prodded, but he couldn’t exactly walk out of the hospital on his own.

Hal looked up at the ceiling in the dim light. He closed his eyes after some minutes, and tried to fall asleep again. The images from the dream and other memories played relentlessly behind his eyes like a demented film strip stuck on repeat. Hal tried to adjust himself in the bed but couldn’t get comfortable. He reluctantly pressed the call button for the nurse to come. Seconds later, a young man dressed in hospital scrubs appeared beside his bed.

“Yes Hal?” he asked quietly. Hal didn’t recognize him. He must be new, Hal thought.

“I’m sorry to bother you. I just can’t comfortable. Could you help out and adjust the bed a little? I feel like I am sliding off the bed.” Hal said sheepishly. The nurse smiled.

“No problem. If you want, the doctor prescribed some sleeping pills for you too. It’s important that you try to sleep and restore your body. It will help your body heal faster.” The nurse said. He reached down beside the bed and lifted a controller with red buttons on it.

“How about I lift your legs just a little big. We have to be careful not to cause your legs to move too much. I can lower your head a little bit too. Would that be ok?” he asked. The bed started to hum and move slightly. Hal nodded.

“Thank you….” Hal said, trying to read the nurse’s name tag. The nurse smiled again.

“My name’s Jimmy. I have been assigned to take care of you, so we’ll be seeing a lot of each other for awhile.” Jimmy said. Hal nodded.

“Well thanks Jimmy. I appreciate it. I don’t want any pills though. I can’t have them.” Hal said firmly. Jimmy raised an eyebrow.

“Why not?” he asked. Hal frowned. He didn’t want to talk about how he was afraid that he might have inherited his mother’s addiction, and having any kind of drug, even something simple for a headache, would be tempting fate.

“It’s just better if I don’t.” Hal said flatly. Jimmy said nothing more, just nodded knowingly, or so Hal thought. Hal knew that there was no way the kid could know but he felt suddenly that he did. Jimmy busied himself with checking Hal’s chart and then looked at his watch. He put a kind hand on Hal’s shoulder.

“Not a problem. You should try to sleep now Hal. You have a lot of healing to do.” Jimmy said. Hal barely nodded. Jimmy kept his hand resting on Hal’s shoulder and took a deep breath. Hal felt warmth start to grow in his shoulder and radiate down his arm and across his chest. Hal couldn’t put it into words, he thought it was like being bathed in sunshine. Hal started to relax and seconds later drifted off to sleep again. Jimmy stood still for an hour never moving from Hal’s side while he slept. Then, knowing that the sun would soon be rising, Jimmy let his hand drop from Hal’s body and turned to leave the room silently.

Jimmy went down the hall passed the nurses’ station and went into another room. He sat down and rested the back of his head on the wall behind the chair.

“Forgive me Father for interfering.” Jimmy whispered. “I know that I am breaking the rules, but he needs my help, your help. You know already that there isn’t much time.”

Re: Birds and Invented Cages (excerpts)

I don't know how you do it, la. Just beautiful writing as always. The dialogue so real, the details so expressive, the story big and multilayered. Lovely little things like : I don’t speak cat. (I suppose I would like that!)

I enjoyed the slow rythmn of the letters, and then the faster paced scene in the hospital. I like this Jimmy. Can he come here?! (that is hoping he doesn't turn out to be a dark force… I never know with you..).

Feels like you are nice and solidly 'in' this story, as in what hubby says, “the work is done”.. ( I think a quote from Arthur Miller?) meaning the reader can just relax and enjoy the ride.

xo

Re: Birds and Invented Cages (excerpts)

Forgive me, Leigh-Anne, I'm running out of steam, but I've read, I liked, and yeah, what she said (Sandra).  xo

Re: Birds and Invented Cages (excerpts)

Leigh-Anne, I read the first excerpt pretty soon after you posted, I think, and was touched by it's softness, something tender and refined in the voice of the I-character. So now Hal who is briefly mentioned in her letter. The beginning of day six came as a shock, the violence of it, the realness. Very well done. Your style is so fluent, the story sounds natural, like it was exactly this what had to happen (don't know how to say it differently). And then the Jimmy character. OH, that is so good! I immediatlely thought of him as an angel, which might be a little premature and I'm willing to revise this first impression should the story go somewhere else. How do you do this? (And where is my bottled la writing power? I could use a sip or two… but I won't say no more of that! ;)

Re: Birds and Invented Cages (excerpts)

oh, thank you Sandra, Ayla and Gabriele xo I haven't been paying very good attention here today, and missed that you had left comments. Thank you very much for taking the time to read. This story is going in a strange direction (for me I mean) because there are no 'surprises' yet, nothing supernatural (other than Jimmy, who is an angel)… no left turns, shockers nothing. I feel almost like I am writing someone's dictation of their life story. The story is getting more complicated though, after the writing session this morning and the one I am currently in the middle of doing. Hal and Lila realize for the first time that their feelings run deeper than friendship but Hal's body is still very broken, and Lila's ex just arrived back in town. They can't address their feelings and have to put their own desires aside until the situation becomes less complicated. Will it ever? I don't know. I really don't. I do know that I am trying only to not get in the way of the story that is being told… there are dark bits - Hal's father and mother beat him when he was younger, there is a sinister story behind his father's death due to hunting accident, and his alcoholic mother drowning in a puddle after a night of drunkenness.. There are skins of characters I am being called to climb into and it's very uncomfortable. I am being brave and sitting with them, even though I don't like them at all. Bruce (the ex) is impossible to like (for me) and I have a feeling there will be some ugliness to come out of his return. I can almost guarantee it!

Re: Birds and Invented Cages (excerpts)

la, I am trying to catch up here after my crazy weekend with my husband's return and my procedure yesterday. I read every single word, and I must say that, while I really enjoyed the letters thoroughly, the excerpt when Hal is a child and is being abused by his mother just got me, left me as a puddle. Maybe it riled something from my past or maybe it was my teacher's heart feeling so terrible for an abused child, but I am with Hal 100% of the way. Post more, and I will read. Please.

Andrea

Re: Birds and Invented Cages (excerpts)

thanks Andrea so much for reading - I know it's a crazy time for you xo I really love Hal and how he is unfolding in this story. He has gone through hell this man, and yet has a heart of gold and he's always been there for Lila when she needed him most. I had picked out something to post tonight already, but it's not with Hal - more of him next time - promise!

big hugs to you xo
Leigh

Birds and Invented Cages - day whatever not sure now excerpt

no wait, it was last night ahaha that I wrote it - my mind is mush tonight. :-P ass still walking first….

~
It was two o’clock in the morning.  Bruce didn’t know where John had gone. Steve took off around midnight saying something about his wife. Bruce didn’t care about anything. He had no ride but he didn’t care about that either. He had all the time in the world to walk back to his parents house. It was only temporary. That’s what he told them when they picked him up at the bus stop. Shelley had dumped him in Vegas, left him on his own in the city of sin and sin he did. When he called his folks, he lied and said he’d been mugged. Everything had been stolen, his credit cards, his cash, his car everything. They didn’t question him. They never did when he called. They wired him enough cash to get on the Greyhound and three days later he arrived in Ottawa. Bruce’s dad picked him up. He didn’t say much. Bruce figured he was either pissed that he’d come home or pissed that he’d let himself be mugged. Either way, Bruce didn’t care. He needed a place to crash. He needed time to patch things up with Lila.

Bruce stumbled through the street behind the strip club. He hoped to catch Carlene before she headed home. There were some guys he didn’t recognize hanging around the stage door.

“Hey guys what’s happening?” Bruce said. He was trying to see what was going on. They ignored him, or didn’t hear him. Bruce was drunk, but he recognized a drug deal when he saw one. He took a step back, not wanting to be mistaken for someone he wasn’t. One of the guys turned and looked at Bruce. He sneered and nudged one of his buddies beside him. Bruce stood his ground, feeling braver than he should have. He swayed.

“What the hell do you want asshole?” one of the other guys said. His voice was thick and menacing. Bruce peered at his face in the shadow of the backdoor light. He didn’t recognize him either. The guy’s black eyes gave Bruce chills. Bruce stepped back when he saw a fourth guy step forward holding a long hunting knife. Before he could turn and run, the back door suddenly burst open and a gaggle of girls spilled out, including Carlene. Bruce brightened and called her name. Carlene looked around for who was calling her, and saw that it was Bruce. She frowned and walked over to the big guy with the knife.

“you know that guy?” he asked Carlene, nodding to Bruce. Carlene sniffed and then made a show of slipping her tongue into the guy’s mouth. Bruce couldn’t help himself, he licked his lips too.

“Yeah, he’s a loser, just ignore him. Let’s go baby, I missed you” Carlene said. “Get lost Bruce. Things have changed a lot here. It ain’t the way it was. You better watch yourself” She said it as if she was doing Bruce a favour. He said nothing. Stupid bitch, she had no idea how things had changed. They left Bruce standing alone by the rotting garbage. He wanted a fight that he could win. When the thugs were out of sight, Bruce kicked one of the cans. He yelled after he did and then stalked back into the shadows on the alley way to find his prey. Bruce turned the corner and walked into the hulking mass that Carlene had been tongue wrestling with.

“Don’t fucking look at her again, asshole.” The guy growled. Before Bruce could get his bearings, the guy sucker punched him in the gut. Bruce dropped like a stone on the asphalt. He curled up into a ball and tried to protect his head, his face. Each kick from the thugs motorcycle boots sent fire like white lightning through Bruce’s body. He felt his nose break, then his ribs broke in so many places he couldn’t identify where it hurt more. Bruce passed out before they finished with him. He was beyond the point of caring whether or not he woke up.
~

A light snow had fallen overnight. It had been an unusually warm December, and it was the first snowfall that stayed. The pure white flakes blanketed the town, hiding the concrete sidewalks and asphalt streets, the garbage filled alley ways and parks. Only the trees stood bare and untouched by the new snow. Their long black wet limbs raked at the sky, unwilling to give up their place. They stood unmoved by the season while everything else remained temporarily hidden. As the sun poked its head over the horizon, the tiny flakes of ice started to melt.

A ring of pinkish snow surrounded Bruce’s body. He lay in the alley barely breathing, and unconscious. The strip club thugs had left him for dead after they took turns kicking Bruce and beating him to a bloody pulp.

“He doesn’t look so good.” a voice said.

“No man, he looks dead.” Said another voice.

“what we gonna do?” said a third. Three boys stood over Bruce. They were young, ten years old. Kevin, Craig and Corey. The three c’s. That was how everyone knew them. Corey touched Bruce’s shoulder with a stick. Bruce didn’t move and didn’t make a sound.

“Oh man Kevin, I think this guy’s dead.” He said. His voice quivered. He was not as brave as the other two. He couldn’t stand the sight of blood or the smell of dead stuff. He was glad that it was cold at least and he couldn’t smell the dude lying in the alley behind Lolly’s.

“How are we going to tell anyone where he is?” Kevin asked. He was always thinking about things like that, thinking about how not to get into trouble. “We’re not supposed to be walking back here remember?” The other boys nodded vigorously.

“Maybe he will wake up.” Craig offered. He prayed that the man would. The guy’s face was totally bashed in. Kevin shook his head solemnly.

“I don’t know man, I am sure that he won’t. He looks pretty dead to me.” He said. Kevin took the stick from Corey and poked the guy in the back. This time, Bruce moaned. It wasn’t a full moan, more like a whimper.

“Oh shit!” Kevin said and jumped back. “Come on, let’s get out of here. The dead guy’s moving.” The three boys ran down the alley and rounded the corner out of sight again. Bruce didn’t move. The wind picked up as the sun climbed higher in the sky. No one came by the strip club on Sunday morning. Not even the squirrels were interested that Bruce lay dying in the street.
~

Re: Birds and Invented Cages - day whatever not sure now excerpt

Christ. oops. I mean Font. Damn this is good, Leigh-Anne. That first paragraph of this excerpt. I was going to copy it but I don't want to weigh down your thread. An incredible paragraph, to make a summary like that so sparky and 'showing', it takes a real artist to do that. And the rest. Not a thing I didn't like, I didn't seamlessly gobble up. And if I paused it was to savour something over again..eg Shelley had dumped him in Vegas, left him on his own in the city of sin and sin he did. or He wanted a fight that he could win.  And of course, that incredible last line.

This is so good it hurts.

Re: Birds and Invented Cages (excerpts)

day 13 excerpt

“I’m not crazy. I saw the photographs. I saw what she did.” Mary-Beth snapped at Steve. She glared at Lila. “You didn’t deserve Bruce, you filthy piece of garbage.”

“What photographs!?” Lila breathed. The colour drained from her face. Steve froze. Mary-Beth smiled smugly.

“Photographs of you. Naked, in lewd positions, doing THINGS to men.” She said evenly. She stepped toward Lila, sneering. “Your hair was cut short in them, but long enough for some man to grab hold of it while he fucked you.” Mary-Beth felt a rush of triumph run through her body like electricity as she put Lila in her place. Lila could barely stand. She fell to her knees.

“Stop it!” Lila shouted, clapping her hands over her ears. Mary-Beth didn’t stop. She continued to berate Lila with descriptions of the photos. Steve rushed up behind Mary-Beth and grabbed her physically by the waist. He lifted her off the ground and started to carry her away.

“No! Everyone should know what a liar and slut she is.” Mary-Beth screamed.

“Shut up Mary-Beth! Just shut up.” He said over and over as he hauled his wife away. Lila sank to the floor, unable to move. One of the nurses ran over to her to catch her just before she fainted and smashed her head on the floor.  Steve took Mary-Beth into an empty room and shut the door with his foot. He dropped her on the hospital bed.

“What the hell is wrong with you?” he exploded. Mary-Beth fell hard against the bed. She laughed maniacally and reached into her purse. She took out a package and dumped the contents on the sheets beside her. Photographs of different sizes, some old, some faded and worn, fell out. Lila was in every one of the photos, naked as the day she was born. Steve stepped closer and looked at them. He felt as though he’d been slammed in the gut by a fist.

“Where did you get these?” he said flatly. Mary-Beth was smug again but didn’t say anything. He snatched the empty envelop out of her hand and looked at the front of it. He blanched. Steve looked from the photographs to his wife and back to the envelop again. He said nothing for a long time, then took a deep breath and slapped Mary-Beth with the back of his hand. The force of the blow was so strong that it sent her toppling backwards of the bed. She crashed to the floor, not moving. Steve hurriedly gathered the photos and shoved them into the padded envelop. He didn’t care if some of them were bent or torn. He had to get rid of them. He had to get rid of them now. Mary-Beth groaned.

“You better stay down there Mary-Beth or I am going to put you down again.” Steve seethed. Mary-Beth didn’t move. She looked up at the bed, and saw her husband. He was bent over, red faced and snatching the photos up off the bed. Steve had never once raised his hand against her. Mary-Beth was unable to feel the side of her face. It was numb from where he’d slapped her. Steve put the last photo back into the package then he came around the end of the bed to where Mary-Beth sat in stunned silence. He bent over and grabbed her hard by the wrist. His eyes were as hard as steel.

“Get up.” He growled. Steve shoved the package into his coat pocket and pulled his wife through the doorway. She ran behind him, trying to keep her balance as he left the hospital and they made their way to the parking lot. The storm still blew madly around them.

“Steve? Please can’t we talk about this?” Mary-Beth said. She was frightened. The howling wind pulled against her. She’d forgotten her coat in the waiting room. “I forgot my coat. Let me go back and get it.” Steve ignored her. He opened the car door and shoved her inside, then he got in the driver’s seat.

“Shut up, bitch or so help me God I will hit you again.” He yelled. Mary-Beth leaned back, rigid against the seat. Steve revved the engine and threw the car into reverse. The tires spun as he sped out of the parking lot and down the street towards the lake.

“Where are you going?” Mary-Beth demanded. She’d forgotten what he had said. He punched her hard in the jaw making her teeth shake in her head. She slumped against the car door unconscious. Steve drove on. He turned down a side street already piled high with the day’s snowfall. The car skidded and swerved in the street, but Steve manoeuvred expertly between the snow banks. He started around the bend, and took out his cell phone. He punched the speed dial and waited for John to pick up.

“We’ve got trouble.” Steve said. “Someone sent Mary-Beth the photos. No you dumb shit, THE photos. Get over to Barry’s right now.” Steve ended the call abruptly and then called his parents’ house. He cleared his throat and tried to sound as normal as possible.

“Hi Mom, how are things going?” he asked casually. “Yeah, no change yet. We’re just waiting around. Listen, we are going to be late again. Do you mind keeping the boys for another night?” Ok great. Thanks so much. I will keep you posted. Love you too. Bye bye.” He said and hung up. He shoved the phone back into his pocket. Steve turned the car down another side street and headed out of the city limits. He flipped on the headlights. His wife crouched unconscious in the seat beside him. Steve put his seat belt on and made sure it was good and secure around him. He checked in his coat for the package to make sure it was still there. He had everything. Steve checked in the rear view mirror and saw no one behind him. He suddenly cranked the wheel and slammed the car into the line of trees by the road. He felt the seatbelt snap against this neck. His head bounced off the airbag as it punched into his chest. Steve heard the crinkling of broken glass and a thud on hood of the car. He fell back suddenly against the driver’s seat and breathed heavily. Steve touched his forehead. He was bleeding. He tried to see beside him but the inside of the car was filled with smoke. He unclipped his seatbelt and pulled at the door. Steve spilled out into the snow and staggered to his feet. He spat blood onto the pristine white and stepped to the roadside. He turned and looked at the car. It was wrapped around one of the trees. The front end was totally demolished. He stepped to the side and saw Mary-Beth half hanging out the front windshield. Her head was turned at an odd angle and her face was covered in blood. It looked like her neck had been snapped. Steve reached calmly into his pocket and took out his cell phone again. He wiped his forehead with the sleeve of his coat. The blood smeared against his sleeve. Steve dialled 9-1-1

“My wife and I… we’ve been in an accident. We’re on South Lake Road. I don’t know what the cross street is. She’s hurt real bad.” Steve said pretending to sob. “Please help us. I have to go get help” he said and turned off the phone. Steve started walking away from the wreckage. Five minutes later John pulled up in his SUV. He stopped beside Steve and leaned over to open the door for him.

“What the hell happened?” he asked. Steve didn’t look at him. He climbed in and slammed the truck door shut. John handed him some tissue, and Steve started to wipe the blood off his head.

“Mary-Beth’s dead I think. She went through the windshield when I hit the tree. Wasn’t wearing her seat belt. I always told her to wear her seat belt.” Steve said.

~

Re: Birds and Invented Cages (excerpts)

Leigh-Anne, finally - I've been searching the prose board for something to read! and now that I have …god.

Excellent dialogue, excellent character delineation, excellent detail. Everything. Very filmic - I could *see* this so very well.

This was so, so good I had to scroll back to your other posts to see if I could fit the pieces together, I wanted to know EVERYTHING.

Shit. And my character spent 3 days in one room while all this was happening? Excuse me a minute while I go find a towel to throw.

hugs!!!!

Re: Birds and Invented Cages (excerpts)

thanks so much for reading the last two excerpts Sandra xo I thought I wrote a reply to your last comment, but it's not there. Either Gaia ate it or I didn't write it and only dreamed that I did. big hugs to you xo

I wish I knew where my story was going though… I have NO clue. hehehe oh and I deliberately didn't post things that would make it easy to connect … :-P

thank you thank you xo

Re: Birds and Invented Cages (excerpts)

Leigh-Anne, I already read this a couple of days ago, only wanted to have a quick look and got sucked in instantly. Somehow never got to letting you know. Didn't you say somewhere, days later then this post, that you felt your story was going some dark places now? I remember thinking wait a minute, are you kidding? So what was the whole Mary-Beth and Steve thing then?  ;)

I was pretty amazed when I read this last bit. I don't know why but I just love it when your writing goes rough and violent places, the language gets dirty and your male character turns out to be a frighteningly cold blooded psychopath… very gripping. You just keep amazing me.

Re: Birds and Invented Cages (excerpts)

GG: I don't know why but I just love it when your writing goes rough and violent places, the language gets dirty and your male character turns out to be a frighteningly cold blooded psychopath…

hahaha - oh dear, well Steve's not the only psychopath I'm afraid in this story…there is a bigger one. Also as it turns out, Lila… my dear Lila Lila Lila was the victim of a sadistic secret group in this sleepy small town who were having sex parties - fathers and their sons luring teen girls to party with them and then one night took it too far and lured an innocent virgin to take things up to a new level of danger. Lila is drugged, and remembers nothing of the night - but 20 years later, suddenly photos of that terrible night and her rape come out and this is what prompts the murder of Mary-Beth (who really is not a nice person for a “Christian”)… the complicated net that is drawn between the characters, that cages them with a past that no one wants to take responsibility for, especially Lila who has to find out so after the fact she can hardly feel violated and feels guilty for not being able to feel anything strongly. When the truth is threatening to come out in spite of the group's (there are 6 fathers, 5 sons and 1 daughter - the one who lured Lila) efforts to kill the story, the true mayhem starts (much violence and dirty language - no holds barred)… and that's as far as I have gotten so far. oh, geez I nearly forgot about Jimmy and Malcolm. They are due to show up again any time soon. They aren't allowed to interfere. Well Jimmy isn't… but he's doing his darnedest to influence the outcome. Malcolm already knows what is going to happen, but will do nothing to change the course of things….

not so sure this story is going to have a happy ending, but who knows. out of nowhere there might be another wrench thrown into the plan :-P

thanks for reading GG - sorry for babbling a bit about the story. I am glad that it's drawing you in!
xo

Re: Birds and Invented Cages (excerpts)- day 18

thought I'd share another excerpt - Carlene is the stripper girlfriend of the small town thug who is just beginning to expose how bad he really is. Steve, Barry and John were involved in something together with Carlene and Paul (the badass who beat Bruce in an earlier excerpt) 20 years ago when they were teens. Life is pretty complicated for Carlene ;-)
~ la xo


Carlene left the Club after picking up her cheque, pulling her coat around her tightly trying to cover her short skirt with the bottom of the bomber jacket. Her boots came to her thighs but they were thin and cheap fake leather. She wasn’t exactly winter ready. She shuffled along the icy sidewalk and went to her Camero. Carlene sat in the car and let it warm up. She looked at her watch. The kid would be ready to be picked up at her Mom’s. She didn’t feel like listening to her whine about how she doesn’t have anything to wear or could Carlene drop her off at the mall. Cassy was fifteen and had way more at her age than Carlene could have ever dreamed of. She had the best clothes, and cool shoes, an iPod. Hell she even had a cell phone. They didn’t even exist when Carlene was that age. Well they did but they were fucking huge, she thought. Carlene shifted the car into gear and made her way down the plowed streets. Kids were such a pain in the ass she thought as she pulled into the parking lot of her mom’s complex.

The parking lot was empty except for one big old SUV. Carlene ignored it and climbed the stairs to her mom’s apartment. She called out to her when she opened the door. She never bothered to knock any more. Carlene jumped back when she saw the living room was filled with three guys. She didn’t recognize them at first, then she did. Steve, Barry and John turned around. Carlene’s mom poked her head out from the kitchen.

“Oh there you are, finally. What took you so long?” Sally asked. She came out with coffees for each of the men and set them down on the coffee table.

“Ma, I had to get my cheque, I told you that. Where’s Cassy?” Carlene said. She shrugged off her coat and hung it on the back of the chair by the door. Carlene’s mom looked at her and rolled her eyes. Carlene was still in her clothes from the night before.

“Cassy’s not back from school yet.” Sally said. Carlene turned to the men.

“What the hell are you three doing here?” she said hotly. Steve looked at her coldly.

“We umm have some things to discuss.” He said. Carlene furrowed her well manicured eyebrows and put her boney hands on her hips.

“Oh we do do we? And that makes you think that you can come here and have tea and crumpets with my mother?” she said shortly. Sally came around the corner with a plate of cookies.

“We’re having cookies dear, and coffee.” Sally said to her daughter like she was an idiot. This made Carlene bristle even more.

“Shut up Ma. You boys better leave before my girl gets home. I don’t want you causing trouble.” Carlene said. She went to her purse and started digging around for her cell phone. John stood up. His hulking mass filled the tiny apartment living room.

“Take it easy Carlene. We need to talk to you about Paul. Just a few minutes of your time, that’s all, then we’ll go.” He said. He tried to smile reassuringly but Carlene wasn’t stupid, she could smell when something was up.

“What about Paul?” she asked.

“Where did he go after he got out?” asked Barry this time. Carlene shrugged and decided to play dumb.

“How the hell should I know?” she said. Steve spoke up this time.

“You’re his girlfriend, you’re probably the only one who does know.” He said evenly.

“He doesn’t tell me everything. I don’t know where he is.” She said firmly. She looked at her watch. Cassy was going to come home at any minute. “Would you please leave now?” and she opened the apartment door.

Everyone was standing by then, and the room suddenly was stifling. The men filed by her one by one. John first. He leaned down so she could hear him.

“Tell Paul we have some unfinished business to take care of.” He said ominously. Barry came next and just looked at Carlene. Steve brought up the rear, stopped and turned to Carlene’s mother.

“Thank you for the coffee and cookies Sally. Much appreciated.” He said. He turned back to Carlene. He took Carlene’s hand and pressed a folded piece of paper into her palm, then left without saying a word to her. Carlene watch them go down the stairs and climb into the dark SUV. When she saw her daughter round the corner with her friend Holly in two, she breathed a sigh of relief.

“Such nice boys.” She could hear her mother say as she cleaned up the coffee mugs. Carlene rolled her eyes and closed the door.

“Ma, whatever possessed you to let them in when I wasn’t here?” Carlene asked tensely. She had a bad feeling about all of it. Sally talked to her through the cubby hole opening from the kitchen.

“Well they said they went to high school with you and were old friends. I had no reason to worry now did I?” Sally asked a little put out. Carlene shook her head. Her mother was clueless about what went on in Carlene’s life, which was the way it had to stay.

“No Ma, nothing to worry about, but if they come by again, don’t let them in unless I’m here. Okay?” she insisted. Sally nodded.

“Ok, ok, I won’t.” Sally said. Just then, the apartment door opened. Cassy and Holly burst in laughing. Carlene jumped in spite of knowing they were on their way.

“Hey Mom, we’re going to need a ride to the mall ok?” Cassy said before disappearing into the kitchen to hug her grandmother. Carlene remembered the paper in her hand. The apartment and everything in it seemed to dissolve away when she opened it and read what Steve had written.

‘I have the photos. We know what you did.”
“Oh shit!” Carlene said. She hadn’t meant to say it out loud but she did. Her mother and daughter looked at her from the kitchen.

“What’s wrong?” Sally asked. Carlene got up quickly and shoved the piece of paper in her purse. She shrugged on her coat and searched for her car keys.

“Nothing, nothing.” She said still searching. “Look, I gotta go out for a bit. Here’s twenty bucks, you guys can order pizza ok?” she took out the money and left it on the coffee table. Cassy came out and stood pouting.

“But Mom we need to go to the mall. We need a ride.” She said putting her hands on her hips.

“I don’t care. Walk, take the bus, take a cab. Find your own way to the mall. I am not your goddamn chauffeur.” Carlene snapped. She didn’t realize she’d left a fifty dollar bill on the table with the twenty. Cassy looked at it and scooped it up, putting it into her pocket before she realised. Carlene turned and flew out the door.

“I’ll call you later Ma” was all she said before slamming the door shut.
~

Re: Birds and Invented Cages (excerpts)- day 18

This Carlene is one tough character and her daughter's pretty savvy too.  Poor clueless Sally.  I loved all the little details, as always with your writing, the cubby hole from the kitchen, the tea and crumpets being coffee and cookies. 
Intriquing, Leigh-Anne. I wonder what that picture is all about.
xo  Ayla

Re: Birds and Invented Cages (excerpts)

another little excerpt…

Lila turned to call for Hal. She realized suddenly that his truck was gone.

“Oh my god.” Lila said out loud. She stood stunned, not knowing what to do. She shut the door to keep the cold out and hurried to find her coat. Lila could only guess where he had gone – to find Paul Hiscox. Lila realized that she still had the envelopes in her hand. She set them down on the side table and turned to get her coat out of the closet. Lila crashed to the floor. She tripped over a box that had been half tucked under the table. She hadn’t seen it before. Rubbing her knees she pulled the box over to her. It was addressed to her but she couldn’t remember getting it. Then she did. It arrived the day that Hal had his accident. She had forgotten about it completely.

Lila opened the door of the side table and took out a pair of scissors. She opened them up and slit open the tape holding the box closed. Dropping the scissors on the floor, she opened the box frantically to look inside. She couldn’t think straight. Lila dumped the contents of the box in her lap. Books and packages fell out onto her legs. She took one of the notebooks, and opened it. Lila was horrified to find a detailed account of everything that Carlene had been telling her earlier, and more. She recognized Stanley’s name, Bruce’s father. She felt the wind go out of her. Lila started to cry.

“How could you?” she asked. It all seemed so impossible that she was involved in any of it, that anything like that could exist in the place she had grown up and spent her entire life. But there it was, exposed and ugly in front of her. Carlene was right, it had to end, and people had to answer for the terrible things that they did. Something caught Lila’s eye. She picked up another fat white envelope and carefully opened the flap and looked inside. Photos. She didn’t want to look. Dread gripped her. She realized as she pulled out the photos one by one that someone had sent all of this to her for one reason and one reason only. To terrorize her. She swallowed hard and looked through the rest of the box. This package, Lila thought, wasn’t sent to help her – she knew it, especially when she withdrew the last thing in the box and held it up to see more clearly. Old iron shackles without a key.
~

Re: Birds and Invented Cages (excerpts)

uh oh… I fear for Lila….

flawless, as ever. la. As I've said before, as I read I *see* it all so clearly. I love that about your writing. I'm never lost, always right there. Great details, pacing. But NOW what's going to happen??!!

Re: Birds and Invented Cages (excerpts)

well… after writing over 55K during the first 20 days of Nano, I wrote the beginning of the novel. love how that works out - always unpredictable this freefall writing, especially over the course of many days.

here is the beginning:

The blood from the gunshot wound spread across the garage floor like a slow moving flow of lava, black against the concrete. The smell of smoke from the gun was sharp and filled the tiny room. Tool liked the wall above the workbench. An unfinished model airplane sat in pieces on the worn wood. Lena Grey opened her mouth when she found her husband, or what was left of him but she never heard the sound of her scream. Lena fell back against the door jam and the coffee mug smashed on the concrete.

It was the envelope that snapped Lena forward like an elastic. Sitting propped up on the body of the model airplane. Her name scratched in black ink and followed by a single dot. Lena. Her husband’s handwriting stared back at her. She remembered holding the envelope clearly. The paper was cold. It was the middle of December in eastern Ontario. The snow had been falling for a month. Their garage was not insulated, but Stanley like to work out here with the electric heater running. After picking up the note, Lena remembered nothing more. Nothing more than darkness.

Mark Johnston heard the gunshot, and came running. He was Stan and Lena's young next door neighbour. Mark told his wife to call 911. Something was going on at the Grey's house. They were elderly, Lena was looking especially frail these days. Mark tried the front door. His stomach churned with dread. It was unlocked. Most people in the neighbourhood kept their doors unlocked. Everyone knew everyone in the small town of Arnprior. He called out for Stanley and Lena. When there was no answer, he started to talk through the house.

Mark had known the Greys all of his life. His father, when he was still alive had grown up with Lena. They went to school together. Stan was older than both of them, went to the same school but in the grade ahead of them. He was a quiet man, kept to himself but kind. Mark had been a classmate of their son’s, but not very close with him. Bruce ran in a different circle at high school than Mark. They had some classes together, but Bruce was a football player, Mark was in the band. Their social circles were different after high school even. Mark moved in next door when he married Sheila and started working in Kanata as an analyst. He’d heard rumors about Bruce coming back to town, but he’d not seen Bruce himself.  Mark looked in the pristine living room - everything was in its place, dusted and perfect. The photos on the piano were all in gold frames, portraits of the three of Greys. Mark turned and walked through the kitchen, calling for the couple. The past paraded itself through his head. The kettle was still steaming on the stove. Mark saw the door to the garage was open. His stomach heaved when he saw Stanley sprawled out on the floor. He gulped for air, and put his head in the door to see if he could find Lena. He prayed that he didn’t. He saw her legs first, curled from behind a cabinet that blocked the rest of her body by Stanley’s workbench. The florescent light from the overhead lamp flooded the bench with an eerie harshness that would haunt Mark far longer than seeing Stanley dead on the floor not four feet from him.

Lena moaned. It was a strangled, guttural cry that was met with the sirens of the police and ambulance rushing to their door. Mark ran to her and saw that she was not shot, not dying on the floor. He heard something crunch under his feet, and saw the broken coffee mug. The scene clicked in his head – she had just found her husband and fallen.

“Lena, just stay still honey, please. The ambulance is coming. It’s going to be ok. Just wait for the paramedics to come and make sure you’re ok.” Mark said. His voice was shaking. He didn’t know what else to say. He saw her eyes. They knew who he was. It was the hollow emptiness of the florescent light as it reflected in her eyes that told him that nothing would be ok for a long time.

“He’s gone.” Lena said. She looked earnestly at Mark. She gripped his arms. Her fingers were like bird claws digging into his skin through his flannel shirt.

“Yes, he’s gone Lena.” Mark said. He heard the paramedics coming in with the police. They were calling out. Mark turned his head to shout that they were in the garage. He looked back at Lena. She had tears in her eyes. Lena looked at Mark one last time and closed her eyes.

“Lena, stay with me. They are almost here. They will help you.” Mark said frantically. He watched her face contort in pain, and then a look of peace that smoothed out her aged skin. Mark knew suddenly that she’d died in his arms.  The paramedics came in suddenly and took over for Mark. They tried to give her CPR but it was too late.

Mark stepped back. Everything moved around him as though he were dreaming. The police constable came to him and began asking him questions. Mark told him, another officer found the switch for the automatic garage door. The late morning light filled the garage as Mark told them how he found the Greys. It was days later, when his wife was putting his jeans into the washing machine that Lena’s letter from Stanley would finally be read.
~