DAY TWELVE - 2009

Day twelve. Amazing. I can't believe it's the 12th already. What happened??? Ah.. I was writing….

For today we have the beautiful Princess of Wands to guide us.

Guess what she represents? I kid you not: Being freed from fear. And, new beginnings, optimism, increased perception.

The fear is conquered! The princess stands naked, open, unprotected, dancing ecstatically in a huge flame. The fire of Spring burns – the symbol of new beginnings, passion, vitality, flaming energy. When fear disappears our lives are revitalized, joy and enthusiasm bubbling up…

This card indicates that your old fears have lost their power over you. It's time to reflect now on your greatest strengths. Ask yourself what the next step is. Find it fearlessly!

And play with ways to transform fear: dance, trance work, ecstatic forms of meditation…

Affirmation: My greatest strength is….(fill in the blank). As I accept my fear, it is transformed into love.

————–

I'm thinking I should just leave this as is and not add anything… or not much anyway.

I'm thinking of dance - how we sit so long here with our writing. Maybe it's time to go and move that body?

And I'm also thinking about what happens when I follow the Freefall precept: Go Fearward. Whenever I manage to do this, writing into the eye of the storm, going slowly, not rushing past to get through it, but feeling every little sensation, inside and out…. then afterwards, I always feel this tremendous relief, as if a great weight has slipped off of me. Even if the writing was gruelling, filled with tears and tearing of hair, in the end I am energized, sometimes almost ecstatic, but often just deeply centered and here, now.

The rewards for going fearward are so great, and we *all* are doing this here, every day, just by facing that blank page. Ask yourself, what the next step is. What is the next 'fearward' place? Can you go there? With light in your spirit?

And new beginnings. Perhaps the story you are in needs a shift, a new point of view, or just a fresh place to dive into. You can do anything you like: go backwards, forwards, whatever. Go where the energy is!

Re: DAY TWELVE - 2009

The secret to happiness is freedom. And the secret to freedom is courage.

~ Thucydides

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Aaahhh, that was a great start into a new day. What a beautiful, beautiful card. What a perfect quote. Had two things bubbling up, very surprising.

My greatest strength is… my sense of humor. ??? No idea where that came from. Sense of humor is not the first thing you'd connect to me… but still, yes, there is something there, maybe I should have a little more appreciation of it myself.

The second was about going fearward. What freaks me out is what I long for most. Microscopicly detailed writing. Details are a horror to me. I'm impatient, I get easily bored, it's too much work, I'm lazy… is what I think. What happens when I dare to go there is something entirly else, surprise, surprise. Still my resistance keeps taking back over.

Plan for today? Back to the basics of lucid, intuitive writing. Some Brenda Ueland reading first, then some yoga, then either off into writing or my walk, don't know yet which first.

My affirmation: Courageaously I dive fearward into nano-microscopic detail , (or at least will do my best to zoom in as close as I can.)

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From jenni, day ELEVEN, re Toms dream. Made me laugh out loud.

I had a dream this morning. long and involved but there were some really little slippers in it. I couldn't figure out where they came from. Maybe they belong to your baby.
bat baby.

God, you are so funny jenni, I wonder whether you know. This is sooo sweet. Bat baby. You know they're waiting in Hollywood for this kind of stuff? Isn't the world more then ready for yet another Batman prequel?

Off to writing, everybody, there's a fortune waiting to be made!

:)

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Ohmygod. It came to me under the shower. (Nobody is going to read this, damn, third post, early in the thread. Font it. Here it comes, if only for the record.)

I need to start all over. Back to day one on day twelve. Damn. My story is too far away from my experience. I don't care about that lesbian drummer anymore, I have no idea who she is, I have no idea what fictional events are supposed to happen with that band. I need to start with something I really know.

Revision: my greatest strength - honesty
What would take courage: writing about myself, real people and real events.

Scares the font out of me. And yet. I've got to. I can't write fiction from the scratch without any real connection to anything. Not yet anyway. That's what eleven days of writing myself deeper and deeper into a corner has taught me. I've gotta write about something I know and let that take off into something I don't. I'll keep the mermaid character, she's great. But I've gotta start with the band I was in to be able to let the story take off. I've gotta know my characters, at least to start with.

DAMN!!! Now I need to take that walk first to let things bubble up. How am I going to pull this off??? DAMN!!!

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GG, why do you say that no-one will read your post? I'm here. I'm in same position, but perhaps it doesn't bother me that much. Oh I read you every day. Maybe I forget to mention you? In that case sorry, I don't mean to.

Heh heh, Sandy & Tom, those cards & quotes are truly spooky. Really. Every day so far.

My greatest strenght(s)? Perhaps it is as Tommie said, that I was born in circus and it makes me the juggling miracle of ideas, the acrobat of moods and the world stongest woman (with beard) of self distance (can't believe I said it loud but font it).

Today, ladies and gentlemen, can I have some silence please, today, I will write about the love meeting between my yammy demon and the Emperess. If that aint gonna bring the roses on my cheeks (the ones beside my nose) then I don't know what will!

Ta daa!

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Oh Nono, fearless acrobat of the depth, I LOVE writing love scenes. Good for you!

What do you mean when you say you're in the same position as me? I wrote so much to choose from that I don't know which one you refer to. Clearly you're not starting your story all over again? Oh, or did you mean in the beginning of the thread? Yeah. I thought writing three posts is really taking things too far, considering the busyness of the threads, but it took me so long to get to the coreof it. And of course I secretly hoped that the one or other would find my outpourings and read them nevertheless. Like you did!  :)  Bless your soul.

Wishing you a lovely love scene. I'll tiptoe out, close the door silently and let you dream it up.

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Yes GG, I meant the threads and our time zone. When all the others are having party here, we sleep. Total party pooper.

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or maybe she was under the shower.
that was what I thought at first.

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I read you Gabriele, and had a giant outpouring of ya yas, inspired like crazy from your new beginning, then in my excitement forgot my edict and posted it without copying. Gurk.

Anyway, just pretend you just read a crazy guy going bananas with artistical bliss. You n me, babe.

Nono, I'm guessing that blush on your cheeks won't be from shyness!

Love ya both!

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Oh Tom! Thank you. Love ya right back. I wish we could all meet in a room today, for real. I'm scared shitless.

This is ridiculous! Looks like I hit the jackpot. All I got to do now is gather enough courage to go and collect it. Gonna fake bravery and stare the beast right into it's grimace. Wish you could all hold my hand.

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Blush, ah, you know me!

Man, are you going to write about physical excercises of that marbellous body Mr Ben Dover? Yes, I mean the yoga thing. What was you thinking? And shouldn't you be sleeping?

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i think it's funny i missed day 11 fear…

i am only just over 10,000 words not sure if things will pick up at all. still going slow.

i had a breezy start to the morning with the wicked soundtrack playing in my mind, my writing started to feel like musical theater. think i did about 2 pages in 30 minutes and thats what pushed me over the 10k. goldilocks is not what she seems and even though she has had some porridge it didn't go like the stories say.

i feel like i am on the cusp of something - the edge of a breakthrough with the writing. there is a fear to it, i feel in this slowness. though i have this stealy determination not to jibber this time, not to waiver away or be distracted. I want to keep going with this.

i guess i am ready for the puke bucket regarding my word count. but then i look at it as something amazing, how amazing that i have written this in 2 weeks.

sometimes i feel so sludgy and stuttery with the writing. like i don't want to wait for the unfolding, i just want to know the ending. this is where i think the change is coming. to feel into the now moment and let myself be there - more and more

an idea came to me today that to stop the fighting was simply to stop the demand to be right.

to help the writing flow through i need to stop 'being' right about what 'i' think 'should' happen…

learning to let go of being right

what's that matter? why do I 'have' to 'be' right?

the writing - that's what matters

it's the writing that IS right

i'm just the typist, learning to stop controlling the flow and leaving the doors gates and windows open so the words can come as they rightly please

thank you all so very much for BEing you and for writing

xx azyh

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Sandra wrote: I'm thinking of dance - how we sit so long here with our writing. Maybe it's time to go and move that body?

–I was thinking of that myself – of the need to move, to unblock frozen channels so that the words can flow out. Nothing has felt very flow-y for me lately, but then I had a lovely dream last night that had me traveling in some kind of “land ferry” … It took me through gorgeous countryside via a narrow waterway, kind of like a train using a stream of water for a railroad. There was a sense of flowing and floating, and an expansive interior space. Then later this evening, my husband and I went to see “The Men Who Stare at Goats” – a sweet film with moments that had me laughing hard. The laughter seemed to unclog something, release some block in me, and I was able to write around 3000 words last night.

So, yes: we need to dance, laugh, move, flame ….

Azyh wrote: sometimes i feel so sludgy and stuttery with the writing

–I do too! I feel like most what's coming out is sludge now, like I'm flushing out old drains. A kind of cleansing process. We get the sludge moving, and then the good clear stuff that's behind the sludge will eventually come through.

Muse-ful blessings to all of you,
Mary

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Love the card, Sandra, and you idea that maybe we need to move our bodies.  Every time GG talks about yoga or a walk I think “look, she's moving! why don't you try that?”  GG - woman, I for one start at the very beginning of the thread and work my way down each day so I always read you.  And guess what?  I think I need to go back to Day One for revisions as well.  Lord have mercy.  I'm glad you figured it out on Day 12 instead of, say, Day 28!  Look at it that way.
Nono- steamy writing, huh?  Did those roses bloom in your cheeks yet?  And while we are on the subject, how do you pronounce your name?  I had no idea I was pronouncing Sandra's name wrong (I always get Andrea's wrong too even though I know it isn't Andree-ah, it's Andray-ah) but with your name I already know that I'm guessing and without a doubt, wrong.
Tom, Mary, Azh - top of the morning to ya.
I need coffee.  xoxoxox

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No Extreme roses yet… but it will come.

I pronounce my name as follows:

Pirjo = Perr-yo where the 'yo' part is really short (try to figger like in name Yoko) and the 'r' is buzzing hard (tip of your tongue right behind your teeth). The 'e' in pronouncing is not that open as you americans use to say it, you got to have a smaller one.

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Wow, Azyh, that sounds really eeky (if that is a word). Why do you have to wait for the unfolding, what's keeping you?

But be aware Sydney, Australia, the puke bucket is on its way!

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Big confession: every morning I red the thread backwards - from the bottom up. I get the response before I see what the response is referring to. Is that weird? I dunno.
However, at the top are Gabriele and Nono and I  read everything.

gg, my blessings to you if you are really starting over. I totally understand what you are saying about writing what you know. i have been told that so many times, and I really think it is hard to write what you don't. I mentioned it in one of the earliest Nano threads. It may have been in the preparations, even. I can do many amazing things when I write, but it is always filtered through me and I can't change that. If I write what I don't know, it sounds more hollow.

Azyh, I am not sure what the anticipated word count is on day 12, about 18,000. You aren't that far off. Maybe some days will come where you only feel like writing and all of your words will fall into place beautifully. Whatever happens, don't worry. Maybe the card of the day has a good suggestion: Get Goldilocks to the gym. Invite another character to go with her.

Ayla, be careful about bogging yourself down with revisions midway unless you are absolutely sure you can't go on without making them. I just adore your characters, btw.

Nono, I am practicing. Perr - yo. Is the /e/ a long e, a short e, or an Americanish uh kind of e? That would help if I was sure.

Mary, who knew goats would help? You just don't know what is going to free things for you.

Sandra, in honor of your suggestion of movement, I am going off to my classroom to clean the dreaded mess that the janitors left. I have enlisted a friend's help, and I will take some good music to clean by. When I feel I am going crazy, I will play my husband's scary cell phone messages he leaves me to remind myself that clearly, I am not. Ha!

 I am going to print and send off my entries into the Sowing Seeds contest today, and hopefully, after all of that, I will come home and write.

Love to each and every one of you, and Ruth, where are you?

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LOL Andrea, glad to hear you are practising :)

It's a very short one and sounds actually pretty much like the e in 'bee', but short.
The punctuation (or what is it called when part of the word comes out harder/higher, intonation?) is on P and the 'r' is supposed to buzz a bit longer then a weak n short ending with 'yo'. 

Names are for sure weird.
I can't really figger what good is in the fact that Americans have to give names like Jack or Mike to women… is there anyone to explanin that to me?
But then again, I was amazed when I first time heared that there where people called Jesus as well. My oldfashion northern little village habitant brain couldn't just melt it.
Ah, world is changing and I'm not. My daughter wanted to change her name a while ago. She wanted to have the first name Lucifer… I denied her wish. 
Bad of me.

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Lucifer, eh? And you denied her??? Yeah, as Sandra said somewhere, she probably wouldn't have wanted the name if she thought she'd be called Lucy.

Reminds me of the Timothy Findley novel Not Wanted on the Voyage, about the ark travels of Noah and his family and menagerie of two-by-twos. Lucifer was a girl in that story, or at least manifested in human form as a girl/woman who called herself Lucy. She was married to one of the sons, I forget now which one, and she wasn't a bad angel… hmm, think I'll go find me that book again. Or maybe I don't have to, just read the summary on wiki (how they do spoil things there…)

:)

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Nono: I was born in circus
for real? What did I miss???
No Extreme roses yet
hahhah.. you're just wanting to stretch out that 'before time' I”m sure..
And now you've got me practising your name. I think we need to hear you say it. I think it's quite lovely by the way.

I think male names on women are sexy. {if I say I think one more time I'm going to kill myself. I”m a WRITER for fonts sake}. I'd love to have been called Samantha so I could be called Sam. And if you say Jesus the way most Mexicans say it, it won't sound so weird - as in 'heysoos' - but you'd better check with Andrea.
I wanted a different name too but not Lucifer. (I imagine if you told her she'd be nicknamed Lucy she'd not be so keen on it). I never found one I really wanted or felt I could take without feeling pretentious, so I'm stuck with my boring 60's middle-class-white name.

Azyh: to help the writing flow through i need to stop 'being' right about what 'i' think 'should' happen…

Yes… wow. Now if this isn't a leap of courage I don't know what is. Good for you.

Mary.. good to hear from you. Any chance of an excerpt one of these days?

GG already got my words to her on the phone.

Me. I'm not sure how I'm doing. I'm writing, I know that. Around 2500 words today. Some moments of feeling the sheer pleasure of this process, of writing every day, sharing with a wonderful group of fellow writers. What better life is there? (well, yeah, I know, but still this is pretty amazing, isn't it?). I think I felt a bit flat today, in the writing. I'm amazed this bit is taking so many words to write. Some fear about what happens 'after'. And also, just fine. So, I suppose a mixture of things. Not ecstasy I'm afraid, but all right. 

I do feel a bit on overwhelm at 'other' things piling up. There are several deadlines looming, a couple of residencies I want to apply for, and competition entries.

Before starting writing I found out that my short story manuscript did not get anywhere for one of the 3 competitions I entered. It was the one I wanted most. I had a moment of, will I never make it? And then carried on. I had to remind myself I had focussed on those competitions not to win, but to finish the ms. I'll hear about the others next year.

I did move my body, my morning yoga/chi kung, but I always do that. I did some bouncing. Sat in the sun (yes! for a moment).

My last line of today is:

And then he was gone, the door clunking behind him, the slap of his shoes drumming against the concrete path, my heart an off-beat pitter-patter. 

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I knew I was prounouncing your name wrong, Purrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr-yo and I'm hopeless with tongue buzzing or rolling.  Lord, if we ever get to meet in person I'm going to have to give you a nickname.  LUCIFER?  Good heavens.  I wanted to be named Joey or Scout when I was little.  Scout, obviously from To Kill A Mockingbird & Joey was a character played by a very young Jody Foster on Eddie's Father (weekly sitcom).  Michelle is okay though, at least people sing to me.
Sorry about he competitions, Sandra.  Something bigger on the way, I'm just sure of it. Of course you're going to make it.  And sun!  Lucky you.  Grey skies here, and rain.
Thank you, Andrea.  You're a peach.
Okay, back to writing, had to run to store because the pregnant girl has a headache and no Tylenol in the house  God, she's going to pop any day now, her belly is getting huge and sitting way, way low.  I might actually finally have a girl, a grand baby with a va-jay-jay!  Wouldn't that be something after all these brothers & sons & then a grandson? weee!  Thumbs crossed that ultrasound was right. (course they told me Zachary was a girl too, imagine my surprise when this ugly little spider monkey came out with a penis!)

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Yes Sandra, Jesus sounds like Hey-soos unless you're George Lopez making fun of California talk, then it becomes Hey-seuss. Slight difference. Nickname is Chuy, pronounced chewy.

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I remember when we were children, my sister had a Mexican penpal who had a brother name Jesus. Too us that seemed so shocking, I'm surprised really that my mother allowed them to continue corresponding, over the top fundamental Christians that we were. :)

Chuy is a nickname for Jesus?

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Hi all!
Day 12 - wow!  Just wanted to take a moment to see where everyone is at before I start the 'k' story…also wanted to thank Tom and Nancy for throwing out some 'j' words yesterday…Tom inspired me when he talked about having pretty words and no stories to go with them…made me think of the juxtaposition of that whole thing, wrote a story called 'juxtaposition'…thanks Tom! 
ayla - “ugly little spider monkey came out with a penis!” - that is a great line!! hope you have a wee baby girl grand daughter this time around.
Time to quit procrastinating and get my butt in  the chair to address 'k'…
poetjo

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Hi poetjo, glad you did juxtaposition, one of my favourite 'j' words. In fact, it was up there on my list of words I posted yesterday in response to your request for inspiration. Tried to post, I should have said—sadly, gaia ate it, she seems a bottomless pit these days. Silly me, forgetting to copy before pressing send.

Off to read your story…

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Found a woman who says the name Pirjo here.

And in this sketch the mans says the name Pirjo 3 times towards the end.

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oh! it's Peeryo!
I'm so happy I can roll my Rs. One benefit of being born in. Where was it? South Africa? Do Afrikanners roll their rs? I don't know. Gabriele, do Germans????

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I just realised I never answered the cards questions.
My greatest strength is… my stick-withitness. That's what came. The funny thing is that I never used to have this. A feather could knock me from my path. My fear? I suppose it's the same as ever: not being good enough. I mean my writing. (And I suppose it is that fear that drives me to support other people's writing – because I know what it feels like not to feel okay about one's work.)

Ayla!! crossing thumbs for a girl. My brother's partner is pregnant again… she had two boys, and now is pregnant with a girl :-))

Poetjo, how in the H did you find a way to turn Juxtaposition into a story?! Amazing.

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Sandra, that's a really good question - I'm not sure what the answer is. I have a weird creative process, I guess.  I've never done the short story thing before and I didn't know how to go about it so thought of doing the letter a day thing…When I see a word or think of a word, I'll know it's the right one to  write about that day because it's really loud in my head, if that makes sense.If it's a written word, it jumps off the page and it's like it's yelling “pick me, pick me!”   It's very odd and now that I've written it here, it seems even odder!   I posted 'Juxtaposition” over on Prose if you wanted to take a peek.  When I go to write the actual story, I just sit at my computer and type - I don't think of anything, don't have any idea of where the story is going to go, I just keep on typing. I know I have to edit a ton in December but I keep thinking - 'it's a first draft, jo, just keep typing” when that inner critic starts to pipe up.
poetjo

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Last words: He was my friend and I loved him. And then I lost him, and he lost me.

Phew. What a day I had today. Rollercoaster of emotion, but when I finally sat down to start my novel all over, it was straight back to the pains of day one. Slow and painful writing, trying to find a way in. But it's alright. 1,000 and some words which is not much for the time it took me to get them on paper. Still handwriting. But it's a start. Something has been set in motion. I might need the puke bucket AND some tissues pretty soon.

Poetjo, you totally amaze me. I read what you write about your short stories every day and I don't know whether to pale from envy or cheer for you - well, I definitely cheer you on, a bit pale around the gills maybe. ;)

Sandra, what to say. What would I do without you?

Nono, do you have that saying in Sweden? About the apple that doesn't fall far from the tree? Lucifer, holy cow! Looks like you gave birth to another circus child, didn't you?

Andrea, lovely to know you're reading backwards. Is that weird? Yeah, maybe a little. In a very nice way. I like it. Might try it out tomorrow.

Michelle, a confession. Talking about yoga doesn't neccessarily mean doing yoga. This morning it turned out I was too upset. I did everything else but yoga. Took a walk though. Had to. A good half hour of power walking before I finally managed to sit down and start over. Worked wonders.

Mary, thank you so much for the great reminder! We get the sludge moving, and then the good clear stuff that's behind the sludge will eventually come through.
Amen. You and me both, sister! Haven't gotten to the good clear stuff yet, though, but I won't give up hope.

And you, Azyh. i'm just the typist, learning to stop controlling the flow and leaving the doors gates and windows open so the words can come as they rightly please  Sigh. It's not as easy as it sounds, but I'll keep going tomorrow, opening up those rusty, sludgy doors and gates and windows some more… lovely reading you, makes me dreamy and floaty, perfect writing state.

Deb, I saw you posting somewhere, must have been the other thread, can't find you here, and Ruth, you posted while I was still typing… Tom, I'll see you first thing tomorrow morning! Everybody on board?

Good night, y'all. Do we need to send out a search party for Syn? And Phil? Our dear la is probably still working, or writing - I never really know what time it is over there with you guys, so many different time zones.

Tomorrow! Friday 13, I love those. Ancient womanfolk mysticism, moon phases, powerful day…

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If the secret to freedom is courage, what is the secret to courage? I think it must be action. Acting in spite of fear. Taking that first step. But the first step is easy, it's the thousands of other steps after that that take supercourage. You can take one step, but if that's all you take you're practically exactly where you started.

I need to stop the fear dance: one…step…for…ward…bum bum bum bahhm bump…five steps backwards…eek eek eek eeeeek eek! Shit…my…brit…ches…poop poop poop poooop poop….

Ha. Here's to the aftersteps.

Fearless. Not. Doing it anyway, despite the fear. Un-not.

Thanks everybody!

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Gabriele, sigh, I think you win the Last Words prize today:  He was my friend and I loved him. And then I lost him, and he lost me.

I for one am not going to put this book down!

Feels like you are joining the Big Theme. (which seems to be flavouring aspects of my, Ruth and Ayla's stories (and other's I suspect).. the theme not really specific to your last words, but somewhere around there, our theme(s) meeting, touching, merging, veering off, but definitely connected.)

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Just to let you all know that I read these threads, always. Don't always post, or when I do I toss in little posts here and there, but I just haven't got the hang of these all-inclusive posts most of you are so good at. Just can't seem to get it together enough for that.

Yeah, so maybe that's my fear? Or not?

I think maybe my strongest strength (so to speak) is an underlying optimism, although these days it seems to be buried under a lot of, um, …

:)

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Okay, so no way I'm ever going to be able to say Pirjo properly.

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Ruth.. Poetjo, the way you respond to posts here is just perfect. Don't change a thing.

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Hi Everyone;
I'm the same as rudyan, I definitely read all the posts, I haven't gone the hang of the all-inclusive post thing either..maybe by November 30, I'll have a clue!
I got to thinking about something Sandra said about how I get a story out of a word, whatever the word may be.  I posted about words jumping off the page and as I read my own post, it occurs to me the men with the butterfly nets might be coming after me because it sounds a little nutty! It just got  me to thinking - how do all of you experience inspiration?  I'm really curious about the process folks go through.
poetjo

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Hey PJ, I experience inspiration as excitement, energy, a love of what I'm doing. It doesn't seem to come of any volition, though. I took 20 years to write my first novel because I depended on inspiration, and inspiration depended on me liking what I was writing, so I could never keep writing if what I was writing didn't excite me.

Boy, talk about anti-freefall. I spent tremendous amounts of time revising what I was writing while I was writing it, so I could get enough likeage to continue onward.

That doesn't work for me. So inspiration has to be out of the equation for my writing. I have to be able to write while hating what I'm writing, or at least suspending judgement.

Still working on that.

Or it could be you're talking about inspiration as getting ideas. How do I get my ideas? Me not know. I don't get very many, actually, at least the kind of ideas that excite me enough to start a new story.

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phew. the problem with being away from the computer all day is that it takes so much time to read and catch up. I read all of the threads. top to bottom. I tend to leaf through magazines back to front though.
what was I going to say. can't remember. hmmm.
I was wondering about that courage question as well. so courage. okay then what. isn't that the hard part.
I tend to enjoy the writing when I am in it usually but when i am away from it I have this fear, that word again, that I won't be able to do again. 
It will be over. I kind of dread even opening up the page. What will come out if I do. will anything come out.
I wasn't so happy with what I wrote yesterday. but they were words so they are staying. hi and howdy, nice to see all of you.
what was I going to say. 
oh my last line. i am assuming this is the last line of our novel or last lines we might use.

” oh and by the way, I mentioned as I was leaving, my name is Jennifer, not Rosa-lee.”

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Jenni.. another great last line. And the last line thing is just whatever last line you wrote in the day, but they all seem to be great Final Lines too. And beginning lines.

Anyway, I'm truly amazed at how much comes through just ONE line. la, you are a genius for suggesting this.

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Pirjo, I can say your name. Just wanted to say go demonlovers. Naming oneself Lucifer is perhaps a mistake. Have no idea why you thought denying that was bad. Saying no is not a sin.

No way I'm writing about that yoga thing. How can one get excited about writing down one's own stupidity? The Story of My Shame and Embarrassment, with an Addendum on What a Giant Asshole I Am.

(I forked over 20 large in three months to a yoga cult *Dahn Yoga* when I got all impressed with how it was going to fix me. I tend to be a serial cult joiner, fyi.)

That's why I can't write real life. I have no interest in my own life, other than keeping it on the down low. Mum's the word. Pretend I didn't do that. I like stories about heroes and heroism, not ones about losers, fools, and quitters. Guess I'm not modern enough to enjoy loser stories.

Re: DAY TWELVE - 2009

Poetjo: how do all of you experience inspiration?
Lovely question!

Hmmm. for me, It's often visual. I 'see' an image. Could be a simple as a man standing underneath a woman's window. Usually the image is from some distant memory. I may or may not write 'what happened' but the image serves to carry me forward, either a start, or a finish perhaps.

Sometimes it's a voice. I just start writing and it's as if someone's got me by the throat, well, fingers. A character starts to speak and I just have to listen and type. Sometimes the whaky-est people enter my fingers.

Sometimes, it's a feeling. The feeling happens while writing, not before or as I start, But when it happens, I know I'm in the 'zone', and I savour it as if I'd been given the worlds most precious chocolate…..

And I've used words, or phrases rather, the Ray Bradbury thing of jotting down words or one-liners that serve as prompts for freefalling, but the one liner/words having some connection to something that has actually happened in one's past. Again, not to write memoir from, but to freefall from something that has some deep grounding in our own life, taking it whereever it may take us…

Re: DAY TWELVE - 2009

good fonting God could this day have been more brutal… new beginnings and the end of fear… oh yes, indeed. I am going to whine a bit - just to warn you.

I have written a whopping 300 words or so today, though I am hoping for more shortly. I am also feeling worse than a dog's breakfast today more like a dog's breakfast that has been thrown up onto grass and re-eaten. I've never had a cold like this one before, and I don't like it, not one bit. What I did write this morning before the letter/ email - was a scene of Bruce being taken off life support. I need a hug or ten again and a giant vat of chocolate ice cream to bathe in. ok that'd be chilly and probably make me sicker but hmmm ice cream.

for everyone struggling and feeling down - I hug you tight - for everyone laughing and enjoying the day, I hug you tight too. somebody please send me some fonting chocolate! ;-)

note: edited what I originally wrote because I don't want to be negative here. thanks for the hugs and chocolate Sandra xo

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Leigh-Anne.. sending so many hugs AND a giant vat of chocolate ice cream. Will this do? I think it's not icecream but it sure looks good.

I cannot imagine even thinking of writing in your situation.

Just know that you are loved.
xoxo

Re: DAY TWELVE - 2009

Usually I skim through everybody's posts.  But not today.  No time.  In the Detroit airport, headed for San Diego to spend the next several days with my son.  He promises we'll spend the mornings in coffee shops (him doing his research and me writing).  We'll see…    Leigh Anne you got any advice about traveling and writing????

I am not writing today.  It's not happening.  Thought it would happen but I feel too much in travel-mode to settle down and actually connect with the story.  OK. Will just let it go for today.

Hope everyone else is doing well.  Love & words to all!   Kathy

Re: DAY TWELVE - 2009

safe travels Centria! sounds like writing in the coffee shops is going to be wonderful and a good way to spend your writing time! my advice, just write when you have time to write, and enjoy the sights :-)

xo

Re: DAY TWELVE - 2009

Safe travels for Kathy & chocolate & tissues for Leigh-Anne (would you go to the doctor please, it really probably is the swine flu and you should be on tamiflu!)
poetjo -Inspiration …I'm not sure I've ever experienced it.  I just write.  If something comes out, it comes out and I'm glad, if I get nothing I'm not too surprised.  I've had “ideas” that I thought were inspiration but then when I try to write, well, we're back to that nothing thing.
I'm too pooped to mention everyone but I love ya all and I'm at 29,564, a little short of my goal of reaching 30,000 today.  I'll take it though.  I had some fun with my writing today and that's a good thing.  I fear (Tom, Jens) that I might be writing myself into that corner GG spoke of but I maybe not.  If so, I'll have to do a U-ie.
It's almost 7pm and I just realized I forgot to eat again.  This is the most effortless diet I have ever been on but no wonder I feel a little weak in the knees. 
Last line for the day -
“I’ll drive,” she said, setting her beer down, “You’ve been drinking.”

Re: DAY TWELVE - 2009

“I’ll drive,” she said, setting her beer down, “You’ve been drinking.”

Nice! And ho ho ho!

And speaking of ho ho ho, I was in Chapters today and they're already playing Xmas music. It's not even mid-November!

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Kathy, I don't know if I will get to see you - if you or I will have time, but please, go over the bridge and spend a few moments on Coronado Island, one of my favorite places in the world and San Diego. I love to look at the beach and the cottages and the Hotel del. Of course, get there safely and securely first. My advice for traveling and writing is just take it all in, and if you are really inspired, jot it down, but let the trip percolate before you write.

Leigh-Anne, my swine flu came with a really bad headache, coughing and coughing, and some body aches/joint pain. Everybody's symptoms are different. I just know I was miserable. Listen to Ayla. Go to the doctor. Crave all the chocolate you want. We'll have a chocolate party for you in the Tree House when you are feeling better. When I get sick I want crackers and spreadable cheese. No imagination. Three hundred words is admirable when you feel like you are being run over by the rolling pin (or the steam roller.)

Poetjo, inspiration for me comes from life almost always. I am an ardent observer. Sometimes I think I forget to live because I observe so much. That's the artist and writer in me. And when I get a really great idea, I am always where there is no paper or pencil to make a note of it.

Love you all

Re: DAY TWELVE - 2009

last line for the night

everyone was drawn to davie, even the sadhus.

Re: DAY TWELVE - 2009

Nice, Jenni, I want to read your novel. :)

Here's my last line (bit of a long one, and not even a proper sentence):

And a natural mother who had already abandoned them, making it harder, correction, making it practically evil to leave them, even if you were the designated wicked stepmother.

Re: DAY TWELVE - 2009

Well, I wrote almost double what I have been and came within striking distance of the 20,000 mark, less than 200 words short.  That came close to making up for not writing at all Day Eleven on my NaNoWriMo work.  Not that I haven't been writing - a lot.

What I've been writing about, is a little Hatfields & McCoy feud, a little war with all the politics thrown in.  It's all in my blog - Letting It Be.   I'm a bit weary tonight, so I won't say a lot, except that the tarot card Sandra drew today spoke volumes - to the start of my day, maybe even the end, though there was a bit of manic depressive element from start to finish (of the day).  Starting out hopefully high and crashing into the reality of how hard it appears tonight, to hold space, that it will ever get better.

Sandra's card said - “The fear was conquered! (the) fears have lost their power over you. It's time to reflect now on your greatest strengths. Ask yourself what the next step is. Find it fearlessly!”

It wasn't about fear in writing.  But its a wonder I was able to write so much.  I let the circumstances fuel me and inspire what I wrote today.  Much of it was relevant to the topic at hand anyway and I probably could not have gotten my muse to go in any other direction.

Wondering
if words will come
tomorrow …
Deb

Re: DAY TWELVE - 2009

Just skimmed down through the thread, mostly reading fully but skimming at the end.  I am trying to “keep up” with you all, to grow to know you a bit better through this experience, since most of you I don't know or don't know very well. 

So, add me to those who do read - GGs restarting, hmmm, it seemed quite brave I thought but I'm writing “real” too.  Leigh-Anne sorry about that cold.  I almost wondered this morning if I was getting Swine Flu - a little cough.

My favorite “advice” of the day was from Azyh (I think it resonated with alot of us and had double meanings for me - in writing and real life) -

“an idea came to me today that to stop the fighting was simply to stop the demand to be right.   to help the writing flow through i need to stop 'being' right about what 'i' think 'should' happen…”

Poetjo - not nutty.  It makes total sense to me about the words talking to you.  That's inspiration.

My intention is to read Sandra's thread in Prose tonight but I'm bugging out for bed.  It's been a bit draining today.

Deb

Oh my last line - This question seeks an answer, and the universe will provide one, if I am willing to hear it.not all that brilliant but it was the continuation of a thought.

Re: DAY TWELVE - 2009

Just wanted to add, me too, I read all the posts that have appeared while I was sleeping. Today I did it 'ass first', as Ayla said the other day, meaning backwards, like Andrea does. Last post first and then back up to where I left it last night. It's not that weird after all. ;)
Oh, one thing I forgot to say yesterday- Leigh-Ann, that sounds like a mean cold you have there. I just hope you stopped going to work, sister! You better!! Take good care of yourself, we need you here healthy and in good shape. Sending some extra love, hope that cough eases up now.
Deb, don't kow how you feel about it, but you have become such a natural part of this group to me! (I realized as you mentioned getting to know everyone).  On starting over, that wasn't the hard part, I simply had to, there wasn't really a choice. Got rewarded today with my writing starting to flow… hope yours goes the same! I had the my manic depressive experience yesterday or the day before. I think it was the Day of Failure, Eleven. Like it's never going to work, I'll never be a writer, I might as well just give up and do something more useful… One thing for me to remember is that words always come. It just may not the ones I'd like to. :) Or not the ones I need to write, because I'm not going where I need to go…
That's a lovely picture, jenni. Couldn't help but think it was of sadhus, longingly staring at davie… forgive me, I have a filthy fantasy! Ayla, I read your last exerpt from yesterday, the one with the cutting. I thought it was stunning. Believe me, hon, I know exactly how writing yourself into a corner looks lik. Yours is anything but. Breathtakingly real and alive. (Did I comment? I might not have. I'm a bit overwhelmed with the prose threads and only very frequently manage to visit them, leave alone drop a note… but I promise I'll better myself, because I know how good it is to know somebody read it, and liked it!)
Sandra, on joining the big themes… blush… I actually might. I just hope I can handle them! But I'll accept the challenge as it presents itself. Going slow, word by word, it should be doable. Writing went well today, feels like I wrote an introductionary scene to my flashback novel. Now back to the kitchen for a second round. Guess what, this was my lunch break!
See y'all over at Day THIRTEEN.