Gaia: DIVING DEEPER: A Writing Workshop - DIVING DEEPER with Sandra Jensen

Re: Required Reading - Brenda Ueland

http://sandrajensen.gaia.com — Tue, 18 Aug 2009 10:38:41 GMT

I've just written a bit about something Brenda recommends in a comment to Andy's wonderful "Faster than you can think" assignment. It's about keeping a daily 'diary' of entries where you type/write so fast that you don't ponder or try to write 'well'. Have a read of what I said here.

Re: Notes from my time with Deena Metzger

http://Gilly.gaia.com — Mon, 17 Aug 2009 11:31:35 GMT

Reading these posts has inspired thoughts towards the self, personal outlook, life, and more... Amazing what words strung together can do. Thank you :)

Required Reading - Brenda Ueland

http://sandrajensen.gaia.com — Sun, 16 Aug 2009 13:39:38 GMT

Okay, so finally I am here to talk a bit about Brenda Ueland's book "If You Want to Write: A Book About Art, Independence and Spirit' Ruth posted up a quote from.

About the same time Ruth posted the quote, I had been digging through my boxes of books that had been in storage for over 7 years. I have a few on writing ( not many, considering ), and this was one of them. It had been on a book list Barbara Turner, who taught me Freefall, had sent out. I had not read it, and felt drawn to it so I put it on my desk to have a look at. After reading the quote, and Siona's note on the thread, I started to read it.

I think everyone should go out and get a copy. You can find it on Amazon easily.

Brenda was a writer and teacher of writing who wrote well into her She wrote the book in 1938 and her writing has this marvellous humour and irreverence. Wiki says: Brenda was raised in a relatively progressive household; her father was a prominent lawyer and judge. Her mother was a suffragette and served as the first president of the Minnesota League of Women Voters. Brenda would spend her life as a staunch feminist and is said to have lived by two rules: To tell the truth, and to not do anything she didn't want to.

This makes her sound a bit serious, she is not that at all. And the book itself is an absolute treasure chest of inspiration - not on what to write, but on exactly the kinds of thing we try to encourage her in Diving Deeper: '"Try to discover your true, honest, un-theoretical self." She shows (yes, shows, with wonderful examples from her students) how everyone has a unique and beautiful voice. She tells us why most of us feel we do not, and what the result is. She shows you how to find the unique and beautiful voice.

She talks about children, and that the way you "are to feel when you are writing [is] -happy, truthful, and free, with that wonderful contented absorption of a child stringing beads in a kindergarten."

So much of what she talks about will resonate: she suggested to her pupils to 'write badly':

" I found that many gifted people are so afraid of writing a poor story that they cannot summon the nerve to write a single sentence for months. the thing to say to such people is: "See how bad a story you can write. Go ahead... I will give you ten dollars if you can write something thoroughly dull from beginning to end!" And of course no one can.

Try this yourself. It is a relief and you see then how you are not dull at all. It is just as guilty people who are always trying to be so good, should try to be very bad and resolve to stick to it they would find then how natural it comes to them to be good and ould not stain after it, which makes them hypocrites, though in a nice way.

Well, when I told the timid people in the class to see how badly they could write it would give them the courage to venture a few little sentences. And since everybody who is human cannot say a sentence without revealing something-something mild or violent or waggish in their souls- or without having something fine in it, I would point this out. Courage would expand and they would gradually write more."

Now, I haven't finished the book, and there is much in it that not only explores much of what we talk about here, but in her own glorious way, she also talks about things I hadn't thought of - at least not recently. The importance of being idle. "- because thoughts come so slowly. For what we write today slipped into our souls some other day when we were alone and doing nothing."

She talks about how we drive ourselves, how we keep doing something, pushing and pressing to get things done, to achieve, rushing about and so forth.

".. nervous, empty, continually willing action is sterile and the faster you run and accomplish a lot of useles things, the more you are dead." She encourages an hour or so of vacant 'doodling' a day.."So, if you want to write try this: go into your room alone. Resign yourself tranquilly to do something slow and worthless for at least an hour. Take a pencil or sit before your typewriter and look out of the window.."

Brenda also talks about the things we 'do' to 'help' us write - smoke, drink coffee; and how often just at the moment a real idea is about to come forth, that is so often when we might get up to make a coffee, light a cigarette etcetera, and the idea is avoided. I would say this is the time when the writing wants to 'go fearward', but we do something ( eg, stop, because the 20 minutes of the assignment is 'up''; tell ourselves the children need a look in, etc).

There is much much more here, and I truly hope everyone will go out and get a copy of this book. It is rare I feel like this about a book 'about writing' - so often I find that reading such books is a way of avoiding writing, or they make us feel like we cannot write, it's too difficult, too much work and so on. But not this book. It is the perfect accompaniment to Diving Deeper. It is not just about writing or creating art, it is about living.

And, it is a delightful read.

I will probably add to this thread more later, when I've finished the book.

Re: Notes from my time with Deena Metzger

http://sandrajensen.gaia.com — Sun, 02 Aug 2009 15:12:38 GMT

mmm. Nice to read you. Personally I find it facinating to explore the darker sides of people. It's so easy to say, that's not me, I could never do that, etc. I believe we have in ourselves the potential to do every horror. What makes some of us manifest this potential, and others not?

And to be able to include the victim and the perpetrator. To climb inside both, to feel what it is. Yes, to all this. Include, feel, discover, transform, heal, forgive. As the wonderful Thich Nhat Hanh says in Call Me By My True Names

"...I am the twelve-year-old girl, refugee on a small boat,
who throws herself into the ocean after being raped by a sea
pirate,
and I am the pirate, my heart not yet capable of seeing and
loving."

Re: Notes from my time with Deena Metzger

http://pz.gaia.com — Sun, 02 Aug 2009 14:53:07 GMT

Thank goodness you think of this way.

When I read your answer it did hit me, I did experience the wonderfull healing through NaNo and through Lizzies torment. In that moment when I became the predator and beeing "the victim" all at once. That moment - when I couldn't say who was who, the circle closed and it became one.

Pushing the so called envelope is taking it beyond, it really gives you understanding of the "demonic" aspect.

Pure ecumenically I would say that "evil" is needed on earth. How could we know love and choose the good and beautiful, if, that's right, saw the evil.

I also remember, when I got my big break through with my painting I explored "Light". My VecicArt teacher told me to make a painting about light. Long I stirred at the canvas and wondered. Then I threw my brushes away and I filled my hands with black colour, I smirred it all over, it was a wonderfull feeling. My teacher came behind me and whispered in my ear so that the other studens wouldn't be disturbed: "Concratulations!"
(I think you have seen "The Light" painting)

The Grace is more amazing with deeper sade of darkness.

Words like karma and human nature come to mind now... allthough a little voice is still saying in me: "Would there be a monster if you didn't say there was one?"

I'll linger on with my demons. I think they are created by the Great Creator.

Re: Notes from my time with Deena Metzger

http://sandrajensen.gaia.com — Sun, 02 Aug 2009 13:53:12 GMT

well....
hmm. Long talk here I suspect, and don't forget these little snippets are taken out of context. Perhaps it depends on what you mean by demons. Most of the people who were at Deena's workshop had lived through extraordinary things, had on their plate, extraordinary things -- one of the women's first period happened in a bunker as the war in Afghanistan happened in 2001. Another's father was a war photographer in Hiroshima. Other, more private, personal 'demons'.

Yes to writing them, yes to exploring them, yes to finding out about them. Yes to including them. I suppose, in writing, for me, there has to be a way through, a way out. Some redemptive quality. The difference, perhaps, between, say, porn and erotica. There was an anonymous assignment about a serial killer recently posted. It was well done, and I needed 'more'. I needed to understand what had brought this person to this. Perhaps in understanding we can find ways to make a world where such things are less frequent. What makes a man a Mugabe? Simply to write how awful he is, isn't enough for me. So too with the personal demons. And, of course there are things that happen in the world that people know little about, that are kept silent. These things need to be 'known', to be unveiled, I believe. And then, there is forgiveness.

The focus from Deena is what is your vision? your vision for life? For yourself? For all living things? What can you do, personally, to manifest that vision? For me it's not about hiding the demons, but bringing them to light, perhaps finding a way to bring love and light to the darkness. Not to avoid the darkness, not to deny it, not to hide it.

Demons can be understood in so many ways. Are they the same thing as 'evil'? I don't believe so.

Long conversation.... and a complex one. I don't feel I can do it justice right at this moment...

Re: Notes from my time with Deena Metzger

http://pz.gaia.com — Sun, 02 Aug 2009 07:36:39 GMT

Knowing? And "Choose what is beautiful."

I have a concern Sandra. I have been thinking about this a lot.
I just love demons and I bring them along almost everywhere in some form or another. I like to dwell in lust and love and nature (human and non-human).

This concerns me badly.

Do I keep the demons alive? Do I let them pass on earth by letting them dwell around my unspoken fantasies? Do I make the demons by writing? Do I increase the pain?
Many "spiritual" people said when Ingmar Bergman, the demon director, passed away that it was good. He took his demons with him.

If Deena says we should choose the beautiful...

Well, this worry me Sandra -- a lot.

Re: Notes from my time with Deena Metzger

http://sandrajensen.gaia.com — Thu, 04 Jun 2009 14:31:33 GMT

What is the process that takes us from 'knowing' something to being altered by what we know?

Re: Notes from my time with Deena Metzger

http://sandrajensen.gaia.com — Mon, 01 Jun 2009 16:45:04 GMT

Allow your personal anguish to resonate into something larger - something which has meaning for all of us, something which guides us through to something new, something that nourishes the future...

Re: Notes from my time with Deena Metzger

http://sandrajensen.gaia.com — Mon, 01 Jun 2009 16:43:19 GMT

How is it possible to neutralise the symbols of your anguish?

Re: Notes from my time with Deena Metzger

http://sandrajensen.gaia.com — Fri, 29 May 2009 20:50:39 GMT

Dreams: the possibility that they come from outside of you, from something much larger than you, the possibility that they are are possibly saying something much more than simply reflecting your daily anxieties -- take a look at what else they could be teaching/saying/indicating, share your dreams with others, look for the patterns.. listen deeply for the larger 'story'.

Re: Notes from my time with Deena Metzger

http://sandrajensen.gaia.com — Fri, 29 May 2009 20:46:30 GMT

sandra whispers back a big smile !

Re: Notes from my time with Deena Metzger

http://siona.gaia.com — Fri, 29 May 2009 14:36:45 GMT

:siona whispers:

Sandra. These are such a treat. I love seeing / hearing things through yours eyes and ears, and I love the gifts you've brought back.

Choose what is beautiful.

Re: Notes from my time with Deena Metzger

http://sandrajensen.gaia.com — Fri, 29 May 2009 04:31:40 GMT

What do you want to devote your life to? What do you want to immerse yourself in? What nature of 'project' pulls at you?

Is there a connection, a relationship, between that project and your life? Your daily life, all the moments. Does your life support creativity, devotion, love? We need to be flowing in the river for our creativity, our life's work(s), to emerge, how can you nourish that river?

Perhaps 'the project' is to nourish that river so all else can flow, or perhaps there is something specific, a book, a calling of some kind. If it is something specific, does your life reflect this, does interact with it in harmony and mutual support?

Re: Notes from my time with Deena Metzger

http://sandrajensen.gaia.com — Wed, 27 May 2009 22:18:46 GMT

See the patterns in your life story. The pattern is what holds you, it's what holds all of us.

Re: Notes from my time with Deena Metzger

http://sandrajensen.gaia.com — Wed, 27 May 2009 22:16:48 GMT

Listening: You listen to the Muse in the same way you listen to Spirit.

Re: Notes from my time with Deena Metzger

http://sandrajensen.gaia.com — Wed, 27 May 2009 05:06:18 GMT

Choose what is beautiful.
Choose what makes life meaningful.

Make the choices that shape your life conscious choices.

Re: Notes from my time with Deena Metzger

http://sandrajensen.gaia.com — Wed, 27 May 2009 05:04:52 GMT

and to make it clear - what I write here are my own experience, my interpretation,not necessarily Deena's actual words.

Notes from my time with Deena Metzger

http://sandrajensen.gaia.com — Tue, 26 May 2009 23:24:13 GMT

I will copy some notes over the next days from my time with Deena.

In no particular order.

What we write creates the world. What is the literature that will allow a new future to manifest? Ask yourself what are you writing *for*? Who are you writing *for*? Let these questions sit quietly and let them be the magnet for your work, see where you are taken...

Re: Following the Map

http://sandrajensen.gaia.com — Mon, 23 Mar 2009 18:17:17 GMT

michael, it's great to have you amongst us, and thanks for sharing a bit of your process. Names - michaels abound in my life ( including my brother ). My name comes from the Greek - Alexander. There does seem to be a connection there for me. When I think of the meaning of the name (leader of men) I don't particularly resonate, but as I write this I realise there is something connected to Greece - that climate/landscape, not to mention some fairly hefty childhood experiences there (and I studied ancient greek at university...). Thanks for the space to riff about this.
hugs
S.