Gaia: DIVING DEEPER: A Writing Workshop - Diving Deeper: SCREENWRITING & PLAYWRIGHTING

Re: A Secret Cast of Shadows

http://gospelwriter.gaia.com — Fri, 04 Sep 2009 15:43:49 GMT

Oh! still trying to calm my racing heart. I thought for a dark moment that Mandi had had it, that Martin and his shadows were going to win.

I really love how just when I thought Mandi was going to be okay (end of scene 5) you bring in (scene 6) the 'night fear'---she may be alright physically but there are still the shadows for her to face, to conquer. Her monologue is so evocative, I'm really feeling the terror:

What do they want from me? Why do they pick on me? What did I do??? is this punishment? How do I get out? How do I get free?

And finally, the black shadows fading away and the resolution, her ability to see beauty again.

I find the happy ending sits better with me after all. :)

Thanks.

Re: A Secret Cast of Shadows

http://azyh.gaia.com — Fri, 04 Sep 2009 09:36:19 GMT

Edit last part of Scene Five Part Four

The Paper from scene one with Angels in white glides onto stage and floats into Martins room like a dance. Old Becca's Ghost is pulled along with the paper and she flows and follows the dancing Angels in white. Martin becomes angry at this and his Shadows in black spring back to life and dance around Mandi and her Angel in white. Martin screams out in anger and reaches for Mandi's throat with his hand. His Shadow in black does it for him and Mandi gasps for breath. Her Angel in white pulls the Shadow off her. Medical Staff enter the stage and cluster around Martins bed, pushing Mandi and the shadows out into the hallway. The shadows tear the whites off her Angel turning him into a Shadow in black. Mandi's Shadow in black defends her from the swarming Shadows in black in the hallway as she finds her breath again.

End Scene Five Part Four

Scene Six

The background visual goes black and all the props are removed from the stage. The Paper and Angels in white with Becca's ghost continues to dance and float around the stage. Mandi and her Shadow in black are taunted by the swam of Martins Shadows in black. The swam manages to pull Mandi's Ghost out of her. Mandis Shadow in black continues to defend her, but is over powered. Mandi's Ghost addresses the audience. The background visual shows shots of a journey from the hospital to Mandi's apartment. The journey shows Shadows in black watching in the back ground like silent statues glaring at the camera. The feeling of this visual through coming scene is claustrophobic with everything pressing in on the camera and jostling about.

Mandi's Ghost

(to the audience) They say it's just a night fear. Like that is something nice to recall when your in your happy place. A night fear... Brush it up with colour and flavour like everyone had to have one! A rite of passage. Ha! Something to speak of an adventure of lost time, a recollection of wind. Past soon and gone away... only a memory left. How can 'they' know! How can they climb into the mind of terror and leave it like a Shadow... untouched ... unstained... unformed...

I'm panicked out my skin! Look at them watching! They are in my head, my mind! There is no-where to run! No-where to hide...

My mind is a mass of train wrecking thoughts that collide and mean nothing.

My body pulses with fear. My blood races. My skin crawls. Nothing stops any more. There is no quiet and no freedom from their prying into me...

What do they want from me? Why do they pick on me? What did I do??? is this punishment? How do I get out? How do I get free?

Mandi's Shadow in black grabs Mandi's ghost and gets her to help him protect Mandi. Together they give Mandi earphones and when she listens to the music the Swam of Shadows back off and begin to disappear. Soon there are no more Shadows in black and Mandi is noticing the natural beauty around her. The background visual shows close ups of what she sees. Sunsets, Stary nights and moon light cityscape and gardens, Sunrises, flowers, colours.

Mandi notices her Shadow in black and they dance together in triumph that the Shadow swam is gone. The Paper and Angels in white help put Mandi's ghost back into Mandi and turn her Shadow in black to an Angel in white again. Becca's Ghost and the Angels in white leave the stage. The paper lays on the stage floor and Mandi and her Angel in white exits the stage.

End Scene Six

The End

Re: A Secret Cast of Shadows

http://gospelwriter.gaia.com — Thu, 03 Sep 2009 21:43:33 GMT

:) Thank you! You made me feel like a catalyst (and that's a gooood feeling).

Re: A Secret Cast of Shadows

http://azyh.gaia.com — Thu, 03 Sep 2009 21:20:21 GMT

oh thank you Ruth! There is more to come... I didn't realise what I needed until just now! re-reading the last (past?) part has sparked that urgency to finish now I know and understand what I need to tie it all together.

what a gift! thank you thank you thank you!

the paper needs to come back into that last scene and draw us through to the end!
thank you Ruth! you have helped me find this and I didn't know I was looking for it!

xx azyh

Re: A Secret Cast of Shadows

http://gospelwriter.gaia.com — Thu, 03 Sep 2009 20:58:38 GMT

Azyh, there is so much richness in your screenplay. This genre really does justice to the style of writing I best know you for---showing, showing, showing. I love how the play answers some of the main questions that came out of the original piece of (prose) writing.

Hmm, interesting ending (if it is the end?). I found it quite unexpected, not sure why. I liked it though, the turn it took. I'm not one who necessarily needs happy endings, and yet this one leaves me thinking that there probably is one, for Mandi at least. She's breathing, that's good.

I wish I knew enough about screenwriting to say more, to comment more meaningfully. Hopefully, Andrea will be back sometime soon to provide more useful comments. For me, I just wanted to let you know I read and enjoyed (if that's the right word!). It feels like a work of art.

Well done!

Ruth

Re: A Secret Cast of Shadows

http://azyh.gaia.com — Wed, 26 Aug 2009 13:53:31 GMT

Scene Five Part Four

Background visual shows the blue sky and black birds flying again. Light shows Mandi sitting near Martins bed. The shadows in black all return to the bed and are trying to stop Martins ghost from going back into his body. Old Becca's ghost her Angel in white and Mandis Angel in white are helping Martins ghost return like a dance.

Mandi

Dad.

Eventually Martins Ghost returns to his body and Martins Shadows in black retreat to the window. One Shadow returns to Martin reluctantly and mimics his movements lethargically. The other Shadows in black seem to hover like the black birds in the background visual. Martin sees Old Becca's Ghost and talks to her.

Martin

Becca, I'm sorry now. I know you must be here to take me away now. And I wanted to say I'm sorry for everything. I'm sorry...

I know you stayed with me, I know you choose me. I was stupid to think that you would break your promise to me. I know you never broke your promises.

Old Becca's Ghost and her Angel in white leave the room and exit the stage. Martin becomes angry at this and his Shadows in black spring back to life and dance around Mandi and her Angel in white. Martin screams out in anger and reaches for Mandi's throat with his hand. His Shadow in black does it for him and Mandi gasps for breath. Her Angel in white pulls the Shadow off her. Medical Staff enter the stage and cluster around Martins bed, pushing Mandi and the shadows out into the hallway. The shadows tear the whites off her Angel to turn them into a Shadow in black. Mandi's Shadow in black defends her from the swarming Shadows in black in the hallway as she finds her breath again.

End Scene Five Part Four

Re: A Secret Cast of Shadows

http://azyh.gaia.com — Wed, 26 Aug 2009 13:52:19 GMT

Scene Five Part Three

Background visual shows the following scene like a documentary following Old Becca's last living moments. Finishing when she walks through the bed room door and it closes behind her. The Shadows in black all dance around the bed and stage as this plays out on the screen.

He left the letter on the kitchen table. Waiting with it's accusation standing out like a bleeding cry. The air sucked out of my body when I saw it. That's when I knew I was going to die and I wanted to. I really wanted him to kill me. I almost whimpered with relief.

My fingers reached out and took hold of the letter. It was light and thin for something that weighed so heavy on my heart. I was numb but for the aching hole that consumed my shaking body. My black secret was finally known. Finally opening up and swallowing me whole. I walked calmly to him.

He was waiting for me. The house whispered of his rage, showing the trail of destruction to the bed room. Things pulled down and smashed. The letter slipped from my hand on the way. I didn't even notice it fall. I push the bed room door open and walked into his screams at my betrayal.

End Scene Five Part Three

Re: A Secret Cast of Shadows

http://azyh.gaia.com — Sun, 23 Aug 2009 13:16:07 GMT

Scene Five Part Two

Ron, Jack and Elle move to center stage and address each other as well as the audience. Their Angels in white and Shadows in black copy every move as they speak.

Elle

He just stares out the window

Jack

Do you think they will find what is wrong with him?

Ron

hmph are you serious? He's just had a mental breakdown and killed our mother with it! There's nothing getting through to him, he doesn't even recognise us. Obviously he is sick and needs help!

Elle

Calm down! Look, … we all know he needs help.

Jack

But he isn't going to get that, is he, they are going to sentence him for her death

Elle

I, I just wish we could all just help him find his way back to us...

Ron

It's just not going to be the same any more... I hate this!

Elle

Just let Mandi see him

Jack

He might try to kill her too

Elle

She wants to see him

Ron

It's not going to happen. The doctors wont let her

Elle

She told David she wont marry him any more.

Jack & Ron

What! Are you serious?

Elle

Yeah, She says it's cause of mum's death. She reckons mum wasn't the person we thought she was. And she doesn't want to end up like her.

Ron

Just cause they look alike don't mean they will be the same

Elle

She said David was only fun when mum hated him. Now she understands why.

Jack

What do you mean?

Elle

She says David is just like Dad.

Light turns out on Ron, Jack and Elle with Angels in white and Shadows in black exiting the stage unseen.

End Scene Five Part Two

Re: A Secret Cast of Shadows

http://azyh.gaia.com — Sun, 23 Aug 2009 13:09:12 GMT

Scene Five Part One

Background visual shows blue sky with black birds flying. A large window frame sits center stage lightly turned to a bed with a door frame showing the entrance. Martin is in the bed strapped in staring at the window. His Shadow in black dances around his bed and seems to call in many other Shadows in black that flow through the window frame like black birds. They all dance around Martin and pull the Ghost of Martin out of the bed he is still attached to Martin by a cord. The Ghost of Martin addresses the Audience. Out side of the door frame stands Martins two sons and youngest daughter with their Angels in white, they appear to talk to medical staff that enter and check on Martin through out the scene.

Ghost of Martin

(to the Audience) The room is sterile and stark it smells like exile. Nothing is allowed to live here. I can feel the air retreating as far away as it can... All clustered around the window's pane.

I want to touch the glass. I thought if I could then I would escape this room and find myself in the air of that promising sky.

Ghost of Martin reaches for the glass but can not touch it because of the cord.

I would soar like the teasing birds with their unappreciated wings. I would fly high and far. Far from these buildings and streets and people. I would fly to a time of gardens and wild things.

It's hard to breath in this isolation and insulation.

Medical Staff enter and examine Martin in the bed.

I know what they are doing. I know they think it helps. But they can't stop me from drowning in the bleeding cuts and scars of my thoughts.

There's no way to fix this
I can't breathe
I can't live
Who would care anyway?
They cluster and fuss around me
But I know it's for nothing
There is no doctor that can diagnose my wounds.

The explosion that killed my happiness has finished my will to live.

I don't want to feel this world edge me into life. I don't even feel these prods and pokes any more.

What do they know?

Ghost of Martin and Shadows in black hover around the bed. Medical staff exit the room and appear to talk to Martins children. Ron, Jack and Elle, each have their own shadow in black or angel in white that follows their every move. They look at each other with shock and concern after the medical staff exit the stage.

End Scene Five Part One

Re: A Secret Cast of Shadows

http://azyh.gaia.com — Thu, 20 Aug 2009 12:53:38 GMT

Scene Four Part Two

Background visual shows a park and bus stop. Mandi walks to front center stage and talks to the audience. Her Angel in white dances with Old Becca's ghost.

Mandi

(To the Audience) I hated my mother! Everything she did was so spiteful and mean hearted. All I ever wanted was to fight her and show her how wrong she was. But... I don't know... now I think she was just empty and lost. She just made do with what she had, what she chose. She pushed love out and never let love back into her heart. And that is why she was so mean... Charles spoke about her like she was capable of being a wonderful friend. How she laughed and danced and how free they felt together. She hid herself away from all of us. We never got to know her smile. Somehow I feel like I need to understand this. I need to learn from what my mother did with her life. I don't want to end up like her... I can't... I wont settle for sensible and what is expected of me. I don't know how I am going to get through all this. I have never been on my own before.

Background visual changes to an apartment setting. Showing close ups of Mandis home with David. Right side of the stage is set up as Mandi's lounge room. Mandi walks in to see David with his Shadow in black watching TV.

(To David) I can't marry you David

David's Shadow in Black and Mandi's Angel in white with Old Becca's ghost dance the following scene that is verbally spoken between them.

David

What!?... what are you saying... Wha wh When … Are you serious? We have plans!

Mandi

David. We both know I don't love you. Not like a wife should. It's foolish to believe we will grow into it just because it's sensible.

David

Your off your tree since ya mum died. You know that don't you. Your not thinking straight. Do you know what your throwing away here? We planed everything we where going to have it all. No, … No don't even think for one second you can do this to me! Your damn family is nuts... I'm out babe, out for good - You bloody cow!

David exits the stage with his Shadow in black. Mandi slumps on the couch and cries.

End Scene Four Part Two

Re: A Secret Cast of Shadows

http://azyh.gaia.com — Wed, 19 Aug 2009 14:44:19 GMT

Scene Four Part One

Background visual show close up scenes of a cafe, coffee making process, coffee machine, frothing milk, different cups of coffee and tea, cafe food. Right side of the stage is set up as the Coffee 'la Cafe. A large counter with coffee machine and register face stage left and small round tables with chairs and couches set up around it Gloria Jeans style. An empty framework hints of the walls and windows. Some cafe patrons help set the public scene. Every one on stage has an Angel in white or shadow in black following their every move or dancing together around the cafe. Josie and Brent work hard to serve their customers, both have Angels in white that seem to help them notice when someone needs attention. Old Charles and Mandi enter the scene with their Angels in white and ghosts of Becca (Old & Young) and sit down at a table. Josie approaches them to register their orders.

Josie

(to Mandi and Old Charles)What'll have today?

Old Charles waits for Mandi to choose her order. Josie's Angel in white looks at Mandi and Old Charles and goes to dance with their Angels in white and Ghosts of Becca.

Mandi

(to Josie) Oh, hmmm... you have a cinnamon twist? (Josie nods) I'll have that with a late, please.

Josie makes a note of her order and looks at Old Charles.

Old Charles

(to Josie) One Earl Grey please, m'lady.

Josie

Wonderful! Relax! Be back in a tic.

Josie notes the order and touches Mandi and Old Charles on the shoulder. They both visibly relax. She goes to the counter and leans over it towards Brent who leans close to her and they chat involving the audience by looking at them too. Mandi and Old Charles seem to fall into a silent conversation and Mandi pulls out the paper and leaves it on the table between them.

Josie

(To Brent & Audience) One is the father the other the daughter.

Josie slides the order across to Brent and looks at her newest customers. Brent lays his hands on the order and speaks before looking at it and getting it ready.

Brent

(To Josie & Audience) Not again Jos. You drive me nuts with your -pick who is related to who- game. (to the Audience) Mostly 'cause she's always right! It's uncanny! I hate her accuracy!

Brent reads and gets the order ready. Josie's Angel in white returns to her and seems to whisper in her ear, then returns to dance with the other Angels in white and ghosts of Becca.

Josie

Bet they only just met and they don't even know

Brent

What makes you so sure?

Brent slides the order over to Josie, she shrugs and takes it to Mandi and Old Charles. She looks the paper as she gives them their orders.

Josie

(To Mandi and Old Charles) One cinnamon twist and late, One earl grey. Take yar time an' relax, let me know if yas want anythin. 'k

Josie returns to Brent leaning close to him over the counter again.

(To Brent and Audience) Somethin to do with that paper. Was somethin written on both sides. Couldn't see what. It was strange, like someone scribbled all over the original letter. I think that is why they are here. The paper has pulled them together and they are here to find out why.

Brent

(To Audience) Here it comes

Josie

(To Brent and Audience) rekon they need some help

Brent gives the audience a -knowing- look.

I'm going back over and giving 'em a free top up.

Brent

(To Josie and Audience) You'll ruin us Jos, doin that all the time. What will I tell the accountant?

Josie
(To Brent and Audience) Tell 'im ta make up for it in tax refunds!

Cafe scene continues in a dance. Where Mandi and Old Charles finish their complementary coffee and tea from the generous Josie. Other patrons come and go to show the passing of time. Eventually they realise there is nothing more to say and depart. Old Charles with his Angel in white and Young Becca's ghost with her Angel in white walk to exit behind the cafe to the left back of stage. Mandi with her Angel in white and Old Becca's ghost with Angel in white walk to front of stage right. Both stop suddenly and look up in unison, then search behind them. But neither see the other and continue the way they where going. Old Charles exits back left.

End Scene Four Part One

Re: A Secret Cast of Shadows

http://azyh.gaia.com — Tue, 18 Aug 2009 13:50:53 GMT

Scene Three

Background visual shows a cemetery scene on a wet rainy day. Moves throughout different grave sites and grave stones. Center back stage set up as Old Beccas grave and head stone some flowers are showing signs of wilting. Old Charles stands at the grave weeping, holding an umbrella. Around Old Charles is his Shadow in black the ghost of Young Becca and her Angel in White. The Shadow, Ghost and Angel all dance around the grave.

Enter Mandi with her Angel in White and the Ghost of Old Becca with her Angel in White. Mandi walks up to Old Charles and speaks. As Mandi and Old Charles meet at the Old Becca's grave Old Charle's Shadow in black is turned into an Angel in White while dancing with the other Angels in white and Ghosts of Becca (Old & Young)

Mandi

Your Charles, aren't you

Old Charles

I have to go, miss, I don't know what you mean

Mandi

No! Please, stay

Mandi reaches for Old Charles but stops short of touching him.

Old Charles

Miss, it's not going to make any difference now. Best just leave it go.

Mandi

I can't, Charles. Please, Charles, Please. I need to know what she was like... I want to know, what she was like when she let her self feel love.

Old Charles Shadow in black turns into an Angel in white he reaches out for Mandi but stops short.

Old Charles

Lets find somewhere warm, to dry out,

Old Charles moves to exit stage. The dancing Angels and Ghosts follow. Mandi hesitates a moment her Angel in white returns to her side and they both follow Old Charles off stage.

End Scene Three

Re: Dinner at the Crooked Table (assignment)

http://azyh.gaia.com — Tue, 18 Aug 2009 13:10:50 GMT

I loved reading this. It was so fun, I felt well entertained and nourished. I just love that the table become legless and in turn the legs became a tribute to the occasion. I loved how the transformation of the table was accepted with loving support.

brilliant
thank you
xx azyh

Re: Dr. Feelbetter contd Scene 1 PART 2

http://azyh.gaia.com — Mon, 17 Aug 2009 08:01:18 GMT

enjoyed reading this after part 1 :) Mike, thank you for this continuation. I am enjoying the layers of Doctor Feelgood. Where in one part he is swindling money taking advantage of a patient and this next part he is ready to be the hero.

Reading this helps me to think about more about dialogue and what it shows. I feel like I am shown so much with the conversations here. I feel like I am still learning about this and reading others do this style of writing is very helpful in helping me to understand it.

Thank you
xx azyh

Re: Dr.Feelbetter- A play or maybe a radio play

http://azyh.gaia.com — Mon, 17 Aug 2009 07:40:19 GMT

looking forward to reading the next part
I very much enjoyed this piece. It felt light and fun and reading it made me feel light and fun too.

xx azyh

Re: A Secret Cast of Shadows

http://azyh.gaia.com — Mon, 17 Aug 2009 07:25:33 GMT

Scene Two

Back center of stage is set up with Old Becca's funeral. Family and Friends sit in pews lined up and facing the audience and the Priest has their back to the audience and faces the congregation of Old Becca's funeral. Background visual shows slightly blurred slides of Old Becca's life in photo form (childhood and birthday parties and family holidays) also images of a church and stained-glass windows. The funeral progresses in silent actions throughout the following scene. Every family or friend has an Angel in white or Shadow in black ghosting their every move. Mandi and David with Son 1, Son 2 and Daughter 2 sit in the front pews looking at the Priest and Old Becca's casket. Lights shine on various family and friends as they speak.

Family and Friends

She kept a clean house.

She did everything expected of her.

But she was never satisfied with anything.

Oh yes, she certainly knew how to push us all to perfection.

Lights shine on Mandi and she stands and walks towards the audience addressing them with her speech, her Angel in white follows her every move.

Mandi

This mindless drivel drifts on like the stream of tears from eyes.

Mandi and her Angel in white walks to the scene of Old Beccas death set up front left of stage. Old Becca is laying as she did at the end of scene one, her Angel in white still with her.

I found her laying on the hallway floor just near the bedroom door. She was broken in body. Red... so much Red. I picked up a loose paper without even seeing it and folded it into my pocket.

Mandi picks up the paper.

I was stunned and shocked. I couldn't breathe. We didn't ever think Dad would kill her. I still don't think he knows what he did. It must have happened so fast. David ran in and called the police and it all became a blur after that.

Mandi and her Angel in white walks to front right of the stage where her laundry is set up. Mandi puts the washing in the washing machine and pulls the paper out of her washing. Reading it she then puts it into her purse.

It wasn't until today that I found it again. I was putting the washing on and pulled the letter out. I almost didn't even know where it came from. All I saw was the angry scribble at first. Dad must have written it.

Background visual changes from the funeral setting to show close up of Martin with a lot of Shadows in black around him as he scribbles on the paper leaving it on the kitchen table and destroying things on his way to the bedroom.

It was hard to know what it said. I had to really think about the shapes of the letters and it didn't help that I was a blubbering mess.

Background visual and audio presents a close up of Martins face as he gives an angry cry of what he wrote -

How many
of
these kids
ain't mine
you
bitch!

Background visual changes back to stained-glass window setting of the funeral.

How many of these kids ain't mine you bitch! I think that was what it meant to say. Dad wasn't normally one to write messages. That's when I noticed the curled font. I turned the paper over and read the elegant hand that had so enraged my father.

Background visual shows the letter Charles had written. Mandi walks back to the funeral and sits down with David and her brothers and sister.

It wasn't dated. And none of us knew anyone called Charles. But one thing is clear. One of us maybe Charles' child. I haven't said anything to anyone about it. The letter is in my purse and I am at the funeral for my late mother.

This eulogy and everything about it all seems out of place. Seems a lie. The truth of my mother is in the curled hand writing of a lover she pushed away. Like she pushes everything away.

Maybe Charles would be able to share what she was like when she was in love. It's difficult to think of my mother in love. Love was something she denied all of us. Clearly even herself.

What kind of life would it have been for her if she followed her heart?
What would her funeral show us now if she had let love lead her?

I am a soaking mess of sobs and no one is more surprised then I, as I sit here through mums final farewell.

Family and friends all stare at Mandi.

End Scene Two

Re: harold Pinter on first lines/play writing & much more

http://azyh.gaia.com — Sun, 16 Aug 2009 12:49:39 GMT

I have enjoyed watching and listening to this.

thank you so much for sharing it here.

xx azyh

A Secret Cast of Shadows

http://azyh.gaia.com — Sun, 16 Aug 2009 06:09:44 GMT

A Secret Cast of Shadows

The persons of the play

Angels in white \ Shadows in black
Ghosts of Old Becca
Ghost of Young becca
Ghost of Martin
Old Becca (Mum)
Young Becca / Mandi Daughter 1    ]
Ron Son 1                         | Her children
Elle Daughter 2                    |
Jack Son 2                   ]
Martin (Dad)                   ] Her husband
Young Charles                      ] Her lover
Old Charles                    ] Mandi's father
David                              ] Mandi's fiance
Family and Friends
Josie                             ] waitress
Brent                          ] waiter
Cafe Patrons
Medical Staff

Scene One

Music intro and accompaniment to back ground visual media of paper scene -

There's a paper on the floor of a wooden hallway. It's blue with green lines and some red floral boarders. The floor is impeccably clean. But it is old, worn. Maybe it had been washed too many times, or needed a coat of varnish. It was odd to see the paper laying on such a floor. You just knew that who ever cleaned it would not walk past it. Would not leave it laying there.

The paper smelled strange. Almost old. Maybe a floral old musty smell... strange that an old musty paper would be laying there on that hallway floor.

The floor was smooth and the paper glided along it or almost floated in a breeze from the down stairs entrance way.... it was left open. And wind came in like a gust of children investigating the house. How long had it been since the wind touched the walls here?

There was something written on the paper. Something written when the paper was new, in soft curled font. But most noticeably there was something written on the back. Something new, written fast and angry. Too big and out of place for this delicate letter. Ending with a tear where the pen stabbed through in some feast of fibre.

Fade background visual to black and enter Angels in white dancing with the paper as if it is floating on a breeze. Light shows Old Becca's dying broken body on front left of stage reaching for the paper, an angel supports her body and helps her to move and address the audience.

Old Becca (struggles to breath and speak, supported by the Angel in white)

No one was supposed to read it. I don't even know why I kept it... why do we ever keep things? Something to hold on to and realise that our lives where more then the every day tasks of washing floors? I had a life once. A life that was more then the house around me. More then the clean things untouched by the wind.

The wind is pushing the letter closer to me. It's hard to breathe. It's getting harder to see. Some angel must know I want to read it. Read it one more time, while time still holds my body alive. The curl of his writing is so familiar. Like the gentle touch of his fingers on my neck. And his lips on my breast.

I can feel something trickling down my skin and it transports me through the pain and back into memories. I think I'm crying. Not because I'm dying, but because I had locked that sweet memory away. Locked it away for so long I had forgotten.

I was beautiful once.

Enter Young Becca, with Angel in white ghosting her every move, dressing in front of a mirror far back right of stage.

One time in my life I felt beautiful and vibrant and alive. It's hard to talk about it or even think about it now. It's like I died a long time ago and and something angry took over me, a shallow angry fragile crone. I don't even remember what I look like now... I stopped looking in mirrors when I stopped looking like I did when he touched me.

Scene in far back right changes to picnic in Tallow Park, enter Young Charles with angel in white ghosting his every move. Young Becca and Young Charles dance their love for each other with the support of the Angels in white. Background visual shows park scenes of blue skies, green trees and meadows and a river.

It was a summer day in winter. I remember it well. Everyone talked about how it was the hottest day for that time of year. I had put on a red floral dress that crossed around my chest and bowed at the back with a large luscious scoop of fabric a line to my knees. I loved the way it felt and rolled and lifted as I walked. Showing off my calves in three quarter sandal heels. They where red too. I loved wearing red.

My hair was a dark colour... he said it was like an ebony blue. And when we where on the picnic blanket drinking pinor he said it was like a rainbow danced in my hair. I loved breathing next to him. Breathing him in. He tasted like spring rain. So fresh all the time. Crisp and smooth. So gentle.

Simply being next to him was like the vibrations of my entire being escalated into a harmonic hum. No one ever did that for me before or since. I read somewhere that it's like a blood calling, what I felt... our blood called to each other. Maybe these are the things that are never meant to last. How can we possibly survive as a species if we where all madly devoted to our partners? No one would want to do anything but have sex all day...

I couldn't deny myself the experience of him. I simply had no resistance in me. I wanted to be admired and touched and savoured. I wanted to be noticed and investigated and explored. I wanted to be held and loved.

He was the most gentle lover. He made me feel like I was his world. It was an amazingly short affair.

Background visual fades to black. The Angel in white for Young Becca turns into a Shadow in black and helps Young Becca push Young Charles away and he exits.

With ever lasting effects...

Young Becca center back stage with Shadow in Black pregnant. Reading the letter. Background visual focuses on the letter as if it was new, scanning close up to the curled font.

as these things do. I don't know how he found out about the pregnancy. He was meant to be out of the country. He wrote the most sweet letter to me. As gentle and soft as he always was.

Young Charles with Angel in white enters right back stage and stops short reaching out for Young Becca, Reading the letter out loud.

Young Charles

Sweet Becca,

I know you told me not to see you again, but I must. I heard you are expecting a child and I have to know if this is ours? I can't even begin to tell you what it means to me to feel like a father. I can't even begin to tell you how excruciating it is to stay away from you. All I have are the memories of us together in Tallow Park.

Please consider my love, consider what we once had and come to meet me at the Chamberlain Hotel. I wont pursue this sweet Becca, if you feel to stay away then so be it. I know your reasons and you know I don't agree. I will do anything you ask of me.

Love Always
Charles

Background visual fades to black. Young Becca and Shadow in black exits back stage left and Young Charles Angel in White turns to a Shadow in black that pulls him off stage right.

The dancing Angels in white with the paper give it to Old Becca and she dies. The paper drifts to center stage.

End Scene One

harold Pinter on first lines/play writing & much more

http://MikeyDineen.gaia.com — Sun, 19 Apr 2009 20:05:24 GMT

Harold Pinter speaks about playwriting/truth/character development & first lines and much more in 2005 ACCEPTANCE speech for Nobel prize- fascinating stuff

Re: Nick and Nora's Infinite Playlist

http://drechanteuse.gaia.com — Sun, 12 Oct 2008 18:01:32 GMT

Sandra,

I think it's an awesome idea because collaborating in such a way brings an entirely different energy to the writing. I think it's best for just two - because three people might just be overwhelming in many ways, but I think if you start as a story, it would be easier. Once the story is firm, whip it right into sreenplay form.

I'd love to see the results of something like this.

xo
Andrea