Gaia: DIVING DEEPER: A Writing Workshop - Diving Deeper: PROSE - The Revelations of Tut

Re: The Revelations of Tut

http://Ramsses.gaia.com — Wed, 11 Feb 2009 06:03:50 GMT

I tried to start a new thread. I can't. Let's see how it prints this time.

I ask Yoshi what he thinks of Eli and Gangaji. My heart sinks at his answer. He was surprised by how famous Gangaji was. Yes, but how would he rate their enlightenment? Yoshi makes no claim to know what enlightenment is. He is quite sincere and at the same time clowning about it like a kid. What is your original face? He makes as if to pry off his own. He had a few years training as a monk and now he’s a minister. When people ask him how to go about gaining enlightenment, all he can tell them is to shave their heads and go to a Zen monastery. That’s it. He’s not even seeking it anymore. Still, there is something more here. I point out to him that there is a reason why Dave and I have come to his meditation class. He has in fact received some kind of transmission. This much is clear. That’s enough for Yoshi. He jokes that I am tripping him up into his ego and immediately gets up to begin the meditation. He freely admits that his mind in meditation dwells on the. Well, whose doesn't? I am struck by his total absence of any kind of attitude either as a monk, minister or teacher. What baffles me is his refusal to state his position in general terms. I suppose I am facing an enormous cultural gulf. Yoshi makes no judgment on Eli, Gangaji, or Ram Dass. He thinks they’re nice people. It’s just not Zen. He doesn't even pretend to know what Zen is. But his teacher in Japan, who is a master, does.

Dave has tolerated my conversation with barely concealed impatience. He's not interested. Yoshi is his teacher.

Maybe I shouldn’t care either. It’s a long drive back to the other side of the island in the darkness. I’m hungry, and the health food store I drive out of my way for has just closed. I get a big bottle of cheap beer at a pit stop and open it right away. I’m depressed. It will have more effect on an empty stomach.

Re: The Revelations of Tut

http://Ramsses.gaia.com — Wed, 11 Feb 2009 05:25:25 GMT

Well, it's interesting to hear you say that you miss it, Michael, because I've been wondering what it would be like for me. I won't miss the viciousness.

Re: The Revelations of Tut

http://michaelsits.gaia.com — Wed, 11 Feb 2009 00:16:09 GMT

chris
i was not insinuating that you were lying, not now or ever. Just sharing my experiences with ducking and dodging my moms version of The Inquisition and how i handled it. I miss her. I guess that i was i really was feeling but expressed it differently. I miss those questions and the assumptions that went with it, even though they ususally were very negative.

Thank you fro reminding me hwo far i have to go as a writer before being understood or expressing myself accurately.

Lies are the enemy! YES, especially to ourselves (Again expressing about myself, not you). Maybe the only enemy?

Peace
michael

Re: The Revelations of Tut

http://amazume.gaia.com — Tue, 10 Feb 2009 18:57:10 GMT

Lies are the enemy.
Throw all caution to the wind, Ram, before the enemy becomes you.

What is Ram so triggered by here? When I read Michael's comments, I see a profound reflection on his thing with lies. When I read Ram's reply, I see a need to explain his thing with lies, and what follows is a piece that's been absolute murder to edit.

And yet it reads naturally. Without much effort. As if it were constructed that way.

Breathe, Ram. The journey. The art. Is it not about the process, rather than how we 'get there'? Wait a minute, isn't that Zen?

Sri Ram, Jay Ram Jay-Jay Ram. Where does this come from? My two heads again, one of them chanting, the other buzzing with business of the day.

Let's throw in some yogurt and mangoes. Blend it all together. Here we have a perfectly Zen Lassi.

Re: The Revelations of Tut

http://gospelwriter.gaia.com — Tue, 10 Feb 2009 18:47:54 GMT

I can’t get the words to reflect what I actually typed.

That happens to me a lot. :)

Re: The Revelations of Tut

http://gospelwriter.gaia.com — Tue, 10 Feb 2009 18:38:09 GMT

I like this Yoshi. I like his easy not-knowing, his total absence of any kind of attitude either as a monk, minister or teacher, his non-judgment, his guess at what enlightenment might be: What is your true face? He made as if to pry off his own. I love that he's not seeking enlightenment anymore. (When does a seeker stop seeking?)

I love your Revelations.

Re: The Revelations of Tut

http://amazume.gaia.com — Tue, 10 Feb 2009 18:17:55 GMT

Good mom, bad mom. It's all in the eye of the beholder. And then there is the smothering mom who just has the concept of caring as in worrying all in one micro-chip implanted by a culture that is mass hypnotized by fear. Odd indeed how good intentions can end up feeling like torture. Especially when the recipient of the smothering questionnaire seems to be triggered by the same thing(s) as his mother.

I am with you. Truly caring. And truly not caring at all. Free. Smiling at the image of devouring delicious fish out of the dumpster. Fishy though, perfectly fishy. Unshowered. Gamy. Bathed in ocean and stream. Truly bad ;-D

Re: The Revelations of Tut

http://Ramsses.gaia.com — Tue, 10 Feb 2009 16:58:17 GMT

This piece, after I posted it, was absolute murder to edit. It took me half an hour. I can't get the words to reflect what I actually typed. Then my time runs out. And now it's happening again.

Re: The Revelations of Tut

http://Ramsses.gaia.com — Tue, 10 Feb 2009 16:38:13 GMT

I asked Yoshi what he thought of Eli and Gangaji. At first, my heart sank a little at his answer. He was surprised at how famous Gangaji was. But how would he rate their enlightenment? Yoshi made no claim to know what enlightenment was. He was quite sincere and at the same time clowning and joking about it like a kid. What is your true face? He made as if to pry off his own. He had a few years training as a monk and now he's a minister. When people ask him about enlightenment, all he can tell them is to shave their heads and go to a Zen m That's it. He's not even seeking it anymore. Still, there is something more here. I point out to him that there is a reason why Dave and I have come to his meditation class. He has in fact received some kind of transmission. This much is clear. That's enough for Yoshi. He jokes that I am tripping him up into his ego and immediately gets up to begin the meditation. He has already freely admitted that his mind in meditation is on the business of the day. Well, whose isn't? I am very much struck by his total absence of any kind of attitude either as a monk, minister or teacher, and at the same time baffled by it. I suppose I am facing an enormous cultura gulf. Yoshi makes no judgment on Eli, Gangaji, or Ram Dass, whom he has also hosted. He thinks they're nice people. It's just not Zen. He freely admits he doesn't know what Zen is. But his teacher in Japan, who is a master, does.

Dave has listened impatiently to our conversation. Yoshi is his teacher. He's not interested in what doesn't concern him.

Maybe I shouldn't be either. It's a long drive back to the other side of the island in the darkness. I'm very hungry and the health food store was closed. I get a big bottle of Colt 45 at a pit stop. I'm depressed.

Re: The Revelations of Tut

http://Ramsses.gaia.com — Mon, 09 Feb 2009 00:47:41 GMT

Michael, I wasn't lying. I had stopped writing on the forum as far as I was concerned. I felt no inclination to write. I am very particular about this. If I feel that my words or writing are false, I try immediately to correct them. Lies are the enemy.

Re: The Revelations of Tut

http://michaelsits.gaia.com — Mon, 09 Feb 2009 00:13:17 GMT

Odd indeed.

It is interesting to me that i lied to my mother about anything she asked my when i was in my teens an twenties to hide all that i was doing harm to self. The i lied in my 30s to hide what i was doing which was supportive of whom i was since she wouldn't get it. No i lie to myself since she passed on. Interesting how this works.

Thanks chris.

Peace
michael

Re: The Revelations of Tut

http://Ramsses.gaia.com — Sun, 08 Feb 2009 23:12:46 GMT

Eli mentioned how fortunate are those who even have the opportunity to wake up. Most don't. This sunk home deeply. My parents used to enrage me. There is good Mom and there is bad Mom. I never know which one I'm going to get. I don't care anymore. Today it's bad Mom. It starts out innocently enough and then it subtly builds momentum. A relentless and insane insinuating negativity.

Are you still writing on the forum?

No.

Why not?

I don't feel like it.

Why don't you feel like it?

I just don't feel like it.

You just don't feel like it.

Answering questions is like dropping something into a hole. It may be lost forever. It surprises me that she hears anything at all. Am I eating properly? Actually, now that I've finally figured out that I have a wheat and dairy intolerance, I'm doing just fine. Well, I hope you're eating lots of fish. Oh, sure. In fact, I had fish for breakfast. No point mentioning that I got it out of the dumpster. She wouldn't understand. It's bad enough that I don't even miss hot showers since I started bathing in the ocean and the stream.

Well, it's very odd.

Re: The Revelations of Tut

http://Ramsses.gaia.com — Tue, 03 Feb 2009 16:55:45 GMT

Got it, hon.

Re: The Revelations of Tut

http://amazume.gaia.com — Tue, 03 Feb 2009 06:53:00 GMT

What I meant to say
is why subscribe
to only one tribe
when love is
everything
and everything
is love

Re: The Revelations of Tut

http://amazume.gaia.com — Tue, 03 Feb 2009 06:51:04 GMT

Yes!

Re: The Revelations of Tut

http://Ramsses.gaia.com — Tue, 03 Feb 2009 06:18:20 GMT

But to be there.

Re: The Revelations of Tut

http://amazume.gaia.com — Mon, 02 Feb 2009 17:29:24 GMT

why subscribe
to any one tribe
when love is
everything
and everything
is love

Re: The Revelations of Tut

http://Ramsses.gaia.com — Mon, 02 Feb 2009 16:14:55 GMT

Yes. Perhaps each of us is a tribe unto its own.

Re: The Revelations of Tut

http://michaelsits.gaia.com — Mon, 02 Feb 2009 14:13:31 GMT

This piece moved me chris. It somehow feels incredibly familiar, although i do not know how or why. basically i felt connected from the start but this part in particular reached deeper:

The people who come up to the stage to sit beside Eli are like the
souls of the dead conversing with God. God is a grand old man who has
all the answers and puts them at ease. It is not my place to go up. I
am of another tribe.

I find it amazing that we can be in the Presence of people of great maginitude and commitment and still know we are not fo the same tribe- no judgment or anyting. Just another tribe. thank you fro the reminder and the ride on your journey.

Peace
michael

Re: The Revelations of Tut

http://Ramsses.gaia.com — Mon, 02 Feb 2009 06:19:41 GMT

It's been eight or nine years since I've seen Gangaji and Eli. I knew they were coming to Maui but I hadn't checked the dates and I could have kicked myself when I discovered I had missed Gangaji's public programs. In disbelief I reread the poster in the window. But no. There was one program left before the five-day retreat, with Eli alone, at the Rinzai Zen center I had been kicked out of. This would be interesting. I caught a glimpse of Yoshi walking away as I ascended the steps to the temple I had never entered before. Had he seen me? Was he angry?

We had a few minutes of meditation when Eli entered, his wonderful presence filling the room. He beautifully told the story of the origins of Rinzai Zen, which means spontaneous enlightenment. A completely uneducated woodcutter in ninth century Japan had an enlightenment experience hearing a recitation of the Diamond Sutras in the marketplace. He went to the local monastery where they put him to work in the kitchen. Some years later, the patriarch held a competition for the writer of the best koan to succeed him upon his death. Everyone knew that the top student at the monastery from the best family in the city would win. He won. His koan was posted. The woodcutter asked someone to read it to him. He composed his own. It was written for him and posted alongside the winning koan. The patriarch called him to his room in secret, bestowed upon him the transmission of succession, his mantle and his staff, and told him to run for his life or he would be killed. The woodcutter lived for many years with hunters until he was ready to teach.

Yoshi entered the temple after this story had been told and Eli expressed his regret that he had not been there to hear it. I was surprised by Yoshi's restlessness. He did not stay for the program but could be seen politely and quietly engaged in other business. Did he not realize the stature of his guest? Or had he got the message already? Stop the search. Drop into Absolute Being. I am intrigued by this dispensation that is not my own. There is something unearthly about it. As well there should be. The people who come up to the stage to sit beside Eli are like the souls of the dead conversing with God. God is a grand old man who has all the answers and puts them at ease. It is not my place to go up. I am of another tribe. The last time I saw Eli, after a brilliant smile of acknowledgment, he negotiated around me like an enormous whale delicately passing its entire bulk without contact. So it was again.

When the program ended, I slipped out the side door and met Yoshi on the walkway. Here was my old friend. You shouldn't have let that old hag drive you away, he told me. I'm the one in charge here. He was suffering terribly from his allergies. I told him I would get him a disc. I'll be back at the zendo.