"I don't see myself as a writer"

I invited one of my Zaadz friends David Perdew, to join us here. He wrote back to me personally, and I thought our interaction might be interesting to the rest of us. He gave his permission for me to copy it. And do have a look at his blog, because, of course, he is indeed a writer!

So many of us “don't see ourselves as a writer” and yet, I believe most of us are.
And David wonders if what he writes is creative. To me, all writing is a creative act, even if it is writing a manual on how to use a MacBook Pro computer.

Here is the interaction:

Re: "I don't see myself as a writer"

I have read many of Dave Perdews blogs and love every one. He is a wonderful writer! Articulate, thought provoking and inspirational words…

Dave, your are a wonderful writer!

Aley

Re: "I don't see myself as a writer"

Aley -

Thanks for the kind words.

I even say in my “sig” file at the bottom of each of my posts that I'm a ” writer a photographer” and part of me knows that is true. A big part of me.

I go back to my 9th grade English class when we had some inane writing assignment and I totally ignored it. Knowing I would get an “F” for sure, I wrote something completely different about my father and his seven brothers.

The teacher read it in front of the class. That was good, but to this day, my 78-year old father, 40 years later, keeps the original, hand-written, lined paper in the drawer beside his bed. Only two brothers remain, but they're all on the paper.

With only an audience of one, I knew the power of writing.

Yet I always had a nagging feeling that being a “writer” wasn't really enough…Don't get me wrong. I love and respect writers and writing. I've collected books about writing all my life. Read Writers Digest for years. And hung out with writers when I could (that's why I like this place).

All writing counts, so I write.

I had a novelist friend who lived in a nasty little apartment, who was mad at the world, 6 months behind on his rent, and refused to work because he was writing his novel. And it got published. And the first printing sold out Europe. And he still was 6 months behind on his rent.

When he asked me what I was writing, I told him that I was writing technical documents for my day job as a programmer at that time. “That's not writing,” he said. “That's a job!”

I felt like crap. And I truly believed (at the time, but no longer thank God!) that he was right. He was the writer because he was suffering just the right way. He was an angry, alcoholic writer, twice divorced and alone. Basically cynical and miserable.

At one point in my early wannabe-a-writer days, I thought, “If I could only go to prison for awhile”..like O. Henry…or Thomas Paine…or Thomas More (who was beheaded)…or Miguel de Cervantes…or John Bunyan…or Sir Walter Raleigh (who also lost his head).

Peace, quiet and time to write. Hmmmmm…

So, I don't know if others have the same sense of denial about being a writer, but I hope you feel the same urgency and longing to write! Good luck.

David

Re: "I don't see myself as a writer"

Prison!

Thank God.

I knew this workshop would have great advice and inspirational insights, but never dreamed I would actually find the answer to my writer's dilemma! Thank you David. All this time I was looking in the wrong place.

Kind of like the sonnet form which constricts the poet's creativity into concentrated form, the constriction of incarceration will free my muse!

What crime would you recommend?

Oh pshaw, who am I kidding? I'm already in a prison of my own thoughts, a prison I might open on a whim if I wasn't afraid of freedom.

Oh well, thanks anyway. It was a good idea. For one shining moment there I had a vision of incarceration, and thank you for it.

Still as free as it is my nature to be,

Tom

Re: "I don't see myself as a writer"

Oh very good, Dear David and Dear Tom!

My fantasy was a nunnery.  A silent one.

All those simple rooms. The garden. All that quiet.

But then they probably would want me to pray rather than write.

I could pretend I was writing prayers.

Ah. Perhaps writing is a form of prayer. A prayer to ourselves, to life, to simply being. Yes!


Shall we? (pray, I mean…)

Amen!
Sandra

Re: "I don't see myself as a writer"

I have to chuckle.
 
I teach writing and felt I was not a “writer”, although I have written my whole life!

The interesting thing is that the critical voice we heard from the mis-informed teachers of our youth or our own critical inner voice always insists we are not good enough…

Sure we have room for improvement always….but we have that in all areas of life!!!

Great posts…I am enjoying reading and learning from you all.

Aley

Re: "I don't see myself as a writer"

Aley,

I'm the opposite of you. I don't write but still think of myself of a writer.

Maybe if we combine our psyches, we'll be well-balanced.

A writer's prayer:

Dear God, please let my words be true to you,
Let them heal the pain of separation between souls
And build a new world of love inside my heart,
So that that love can inspire the love of others to heal.

Let me talk to the children to let them know everything is all right,
And that it's okay to be yourself. Let my words be more than hot air,
But forge a link of soul between reader and read,
Through which runs all the blessings I can ever share.

See Sandra? That's kinda like writing, and it's definitely a prayer. I think we can do it!

Love,

Tom

Re: "I don't see myself as a writer"

Thanks Tom…I am always seeking balance and am now writing again!!!

Loved your prayer.

Beautiful

Re: "I don't see myself as a writer"

Tom -
 
I'm definitely thinking non-violent crime (until I begin watching our political leaders on the news). O.Henry got five years from embezzlement – doesn't seem like to high a price to pay.

And Martha Stewart did just fine after a while at Danbury for a little insider trading. Only problem is that I don't know anyone on the inside!

And as for the convent, my wife teaches voice lessons to several of the nuns at the local convent. But guess what, they've got real jobs now. One is a lawyer, another a doctor, several are teachers, one is a social worker. These women go out, work all day in town providing service, then come back to the convent at night for vespers and services.

Seems a little more stressful than my life even. It's prison for me.

dp

Re: "I don't see myself as a writer"

Well they must be good writers then, being in prison and all.

Re: "I don't see myself as a writer"

Thank you for posting this. I have been lurking. I am of the “I would like to say something. Gosh, I wish I had something worthwhile to say” school of writing. Here lots of things get written down, but nothing ever comes to fruition. Nothing even comes close to making much sense, most of the time. Every once in awhile I happen upon something that I do not completely slay myself over.

I have also fantasized about experiences outside of my scope that would make my writing worthwhile. No incarceration, just travel, adventures and such.

It is so encouraging to read about, and feel connected with other people that wage battles with their inner-critic. It is even more encouraging to see them win in something so simple as a beautifully written e-mail. So, thank you.

-Loni Love

“How vain it is to sit down to write when you have not stood up to live.”
Henry David Thoreau (1817 - 1862)

Re: "I don't see myself as a writer"

Loni how are you? Thanks so much for gathering your courage and posting.

If you feel you need to charge your writing batteries I suggest reading. Were I ever to offer suggestions to writers, that would be number one, even before writing. Way before writing.

Read, read, read - the good stuff is best, though crappy stuff works too. Those are experiences as well, valuable ones, only they're in your head and heart, not in the outside world. While swimming through the language, some of it sticks.

And while you're reading you can journal and write poems to yourself and for friends who are safe. Then soon you will feel more capable of sharing something “worthwhile”. Sandra knows that whatever you write will be worthwhile, because as she says the act of creation, especially for less experienced writers, is more important than the words that come out. It's a process and a sacred joy, especially if you don't slay yourself afterword, understanding that you're judging yourself for the wrong thing. Use makes master.

God Bless You and Your Yearning Heart,

Tom

Re: "I don't see myself as a writer"

Tom,

I am wonderful, thank you. I have been reading so much I have run out of things at home. I have a date with the library tomorrow. I am very grateful for the advice, though I do the reading naturally.  Journaling is good, too. I had almost forgotten.

Your love is so tangible. It is of a sort that jumps out of my computer, and attacks me with a feeling of warmth and comfort. Thank you a million times for tapping in and reaching out in that irresistable way that makes me feel like fear is the most ridiculous word ever created.

Many Blessings to You,

Loni Love