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DIVING DEEPER: A Writing Workshop

Do you feel compelled to write,  but something is stopping you from getting on with it?

Do you feel you have a story to tell, or simply something ‘to say’ but don’t know how to start, or how to continue?

Are you looking for a deeper connection to your self, or a sense of fulfillment?

In...(more)
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Poetry in all forms: sonnet, haiku, cinquain, free verse, experimental etc.
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  sherab  : Myna Qui

questions:{()},{{()},{()}},{({{()},{()}}},...

sherab said Mar 26, 2008, 1:22 PM:

 
~o~
Are you the one for whom I searched?
Scratching the surface of the skin for hidden stings?
Poking in places where I did not belong?
Have I embarrassed you?
Made you blush and turn away?
Are you aware how long I've looked and lusted
After the traces of your scent
On the gentle breeze of evening.
I've torn down houses looking for you ,
Mowed down old forests like they were merely men.
I've drunk whole oceans,
Thirsty for the taste of you,
Only to find myself dix\zzy and belching
On the shores of a dead sea.
Do you know the mountains i have moved?
The desserts sifted, grain by grain of sand?
And how many answers have I found?
Your name written in the mist?
You calling out with the voice of the wind?
A flower exactly like  your skin your lips your eyes?
A bright spot of sunlight shifting on the forest floor?
A star that died in eons past
Whose light only now begins to twinkle in a corner of the sky?
What are your names, the first and last?
How should I call you?
Is there a number for you?
I can reach across time and space,
But only so far, so long.
When I find you again, will i know?
It has been so long,
Am I still searching
Or merely waiting
For the end?
~o~
Alas, lost on the way again,
poor William, plays with shiny little toys
While the sky whirls around
restless in it's sleep.
-March 26, 2008
 
I wrote for eghteen minutes, and spent two minutes on line breaks, and spell checking.
after thirty minutes I had the whole bit set in HTML with capitals at the head of every line. 
  Nicole : wakingdreamer

Re: questions:{()},{{()},{()}},{({{()},{()}}},...

Nicole said Mar 26, 2008, 4:59 PM:

 

Dear Will,

The passion, the driving search, the wild and beautiful poetry of this is seductive and touching beyond words. Thank you!

so many lines i love like

drunk whole oceans,
Thirsty for the taste of you,

Your name written in the mist?
You calling out with the voice of the wind?
A flower exactly like  your skin your lips your eyes?


I just found a couple of errors distracting - dix/zzy instead of dizzy and desserts instead of deserts.

Love,

Nicole

  sherab  : Myna Qui

Re: questions:2,...

sherab said Mar 26, 2008, 10:34 PM:

 

Nicole,
I'll admit that desert / dessert slipped by me. The other, (dix/zzy) was left that way intentionally. It was my intention to write through the entire twenty minutes and edit after I got to the end. (I type slowly.) That particular error seemed as though it were a hiccough, which seemed correct for the excess of the speaker / I-character. It does seem stupid now.

If I were in the bussiness of editing, I would reconsider the second line:

Scratching the surface of my skin for hidden stings?

.That was what i meant to write when i sat down.

Also my Boolean logic in the title was Ill considered.
It should read:
question: { { }, { { } } , { { }, { { } } } }….
I think. The brackets are making me a bit dizzy.

Here is where I got the idea

Step 0:   { } (empty set)
Step 1:  { { } } (set containing the empty set)
Step 2:  { { }, { { } } } (set containing previous two sets)
Step 3:  { { }, { { } } , { { }, { { } } } } (set containing previous three sets)
Step 4:  { { }, { { } } , { { }, { { } } }, { { }, { { } } , { { }, { { } } } } } (etc.)

a little bit cryptic and pretentious.
i'll try to restrain myself
W

  Nicole : wakingdreamer

Re: questions:2,...

Nicole said Mar 27, 2008, 1:53 AM:

 

Dear Will, I only hope my comments were helpful, otherwise please disregard. I am afraid that you have lost me with the brackets, I guess my math isn't that good! But I am intrigued…

Love,

Nicole

  sherab  : Myna Qui

Re: questions:2,...

sherab said Mar 27, 2008, 4:00 AM:

 

Sure its helpful. Also encouraging. The Brackets are irrelevent to the poem. The link goes to a Buddhist website where there is an essay on emptiness. The essay connects the idea of emtiness in Buddhism to other systems of thought, including the branch of mathematics called boolean algebra. Set theory.
The idea was to show something emerging from nothing.
Not very good at math myself.
ok?
-bill

  Nicole : wakingdreamer

Re: questions:2,...

Nicole said Mar 27, 2008, 4:02 AM:

 

ah! enlightenment… love to you

  Josy : Poet, Dreamer, Threshold-Girl

Re: questions:{()},{{()},{()}},{({{()},{()}}},...

Josy said Mar 29, 2008, 9:31 AM:

 

This poem is so beautiful! It is the kind of poem I would keep as a treasure to pull out every so often and read over and over again.