On Graphic Material & The "I" Character

I wanted to put together some thoughts I have on a subject that I recently brought up regarding the appropriateness of posting graphic material here on Diving Deeper, and a related subject on how we comment on work that might appear to be autobiographical or is even stated as such.

If you haven't read my Notes Along the Way ”Memoir vs Fiction” then please do before you go further…

First off - the specific approach of Diving Deeper is very much designed to bring up very personal stories. It does this because I believe this is the material we have inside ourselves from which we learn to write, whether we move onto fiction, fantasy or stay with memoir. I've written at length about this so I'm not going to go on, please read the rest of the Notes Along the Way.

The DD approach also is designed to produce very up-close and close-to-the-bone writing - full of specific detail, as deeply engaging as possible, ('going fearward' for both writer and reader).

I have discovered that this approach does two things: produces extraordinary and powerful writing, and can be deeply healing for the writer. Stories are shared that perhaps have never been shared before, and are recieved as 'works of art', allowing the writer to appreciate their stories, and at the same supporting a gentle letting go of experiences, so they are no longer identified with so strongly. We can open up, breathe, let new air into our cells. We are no longer victims, but artists.

However, there is one very important part of the process:

We post all work and comment on all work as if it is fiction (on the Prose, Poetry, Truly Bad Writing and Responses to assignments boards, elsewhere it's different). Even pieces that are obviously articles and written about personal experience - we comment on the writing not the writer.

In my real-life workshops all writing is read out aloud to a small group, and read out anonymously. No one comments to the writer, in or out of group. No comments are made 'about' the writer. If an -I- character is triggering, lovable, horrible, delightful etc for someone, they are guided to say what it is about the writing that makes it so.

Time and time again I've discovered that not becoming 'personal' about the content of the work, either as a writer or as a reader is most supportive for both the writing AND the writer as a person. By not becoming personal as a writer, I mean not engaging with others about the subject matter on a personal level, rather staying with the writing (or perhaps discussing the subject matter in a larger context, but this I think is more appropriate on the Tree House as otherwise it will move the focus away from what we are here to do: write.)

Tom mentioned commenting on a piece as if it were real and then discovering it was fiction as being one reason to treat everything as fiction. It is one reason, but by no means the most important reason.

I know of a writer who wrote a very personal story and who was then approached by someone who said, “Oh, I'm so sorry.” The writer was unable to put pen to paper for months.

I don't know about anyone else, but I'm here to write, to write as powerfully and engagingly as I can, and this is what I want feedback on. I don't want sympathy or comiseration on the subject matter. Not on the pieces I post as creative works (as for how d*** rainy it is here in Ireland, YES I want sympathy!!).

There are things that come up for us as members that are personal issues we want support on. This is not only a workshop but a community. So, for that reason we have other boards where we can share, and, of course we can email each other privately. And, there are so many groups here on Gaia that are specifically for people going through certain things - illness, addiction, depression etcetera.

However, it's important to me that the Prose, Poetry, Truly Bad Writing and Responses to Assignments boards are kept as sacrosanct as possible regarding how we are with the writing. I've often broken my own rules, so it's just something for us all to keep tuning into, not something to feel limited or constrained by - something to keep open for dialogue, too.

My reasons come out of years of experience - my own and others.

I actually believe that the deepest healing arises out of sharing our lives creatively and having it commented upon as a work of art. To help this process, it means not saying 'this is true', or 'this really happened'. Besides which, if you have read the Memoir vs Fiction piece above, you will know that 'truth' and 'reality' are, in my opinion, very flexible entities.

And, as most people pick up on very quickly, if we comment about a person in a piece, we say -I- character if the piece is written in the first person, no matter how 'non fiction' the piece is.

Sometimes I have given the 'story behind the story', i.e. written about how a particular story of mine came about. I do this because I think it can be useful to read how a short story evolves, not because I want people to know the 'truth'.

Okay, to come to 'graphic' material, finally.

Much of my own work is very graphic. I don't personally have a problem with anything so long as the intention behind the work is not to shock or horrify or disgust. If graphic incidents or words arise while we are writing freefall - i.e. writing what comes up, going slowly, diving into the world that we find ourselves, giving the details, going fearward, not editing, etc, then of course it's 'appropriate' and absolutely what this place is all about.

And, this is not one of my small, private groups. As a member of Gaia I do have to keep in mind a much larger sphere, not only Gaia but the Internet as a whole.

So, every so often I tune in and ask us to be mindful of this place. I agree that most young people are very savvy and wouldn't be shocked at all by what is posted here. We have members who are 15 years old (and younger). As there is a screening process to get into Diving Deeper, these members are unusually mature for their age otherwise they would not be here. And there is nothing to stop a non-member of any age reading the work posted here.

And, I have had private emails from people who I highly respect as members of this group who have shared with me some of the negative effects of reading very graphic material on DD. I imagine there are others who might feel similar things but don't feel safe enough to share this, even privately with me.

I'm asking that we each take responsibility for 'cultivating' this garden. I'm not opposed to swear words - good lord, one of my pieces uses the F word in almost every sentence. I did think twice about posting it, and probably should have checked with another moderator just to make sure.

If you are ever in doubt about a piece, please take the care to send it to a moderator first.

The other issue is 'intention'. If you have written a very graphic piece, and you feel it is too much for public posting, but you want feedback on it, please sent it to one or more of your friends here. This is what this group is about - not just the online experience, but about networking and supporting friendships and writing buddies we can ask for support and feedback outside of the open environment.

Back to intention and graphic material, especially abuse stories.

I do believe these stories need to be written, and need to be heard - for all kinds of reasons, not least of which we get to feel not so alone with our own personal stories. We feel more connected with each other by sharing what is profound for us, and we feel more connected when we hear people share from their hearts and souls, naked and raw.

I don't necessary believe abuse stories need to be heard because they will make people think twice about abusing someone. This is not what Diving Deeper is about, nor is it an approach that 'works', in my experience.

I have personal and second-hand experience (ie. loved ones) of the most severe abuse situations you can imagine. In most of these situations the abuser was intelligent, caring, worldly, well-read, and, sadly, active in trying to make a difference in the world – i.e. fighting against apartheid, sexual abuse, violence, poverty, racism etcetera.

Has anyone seen the film The Woodsman? I highly recommend it if you are interested in what might happen for someone who abuses another.

Now, I'm not an expert in this subject, but it is my sense that most abusers are ill. The form of abuse is like an addiction, and perhaps not just 'like' an addiction, but an actual addiction. You have to go unconscious to shoot heroin, and you have to go unconscious to hurt someone unless you are mentally ill. This is a sign of addiction: going unconscious. We (I've been an addict) go unconscious to avoid pain. We do terrible things when we go unconscious. But no amount of reading about what happens when we do 'our addiction' will, in my experience, make a difference. We need professional help, and perhaps, the grace of god.

I'm saying all this because I personally don't think writing anything to create an 'effect' in the reader is what Diving Deeper is about. We write for ourselves first and foremost. To explore the depths and heights of what it is to be human; we write to find joy and delight in the creative process, we write to discover something new. If we are changed by what we write, then a reader will be too, but if we write 'to change' a reader, the writing will probably either be flat or unpalatable in some sense.

I, and not one of the moderators is for censoring anything here on Diving Deeper. I'm asking for support to garden this space in the best way possible, which includes multiple different personal needs, approaches, desires and styles of writing.

The main thing for me, is that we keep including this group as a whole, and just take a moment or two before hitting 'send' on either a creative piece or a comment, or anything else for that matter. Ask yourself, what is my intention here, take a moment, breathe, let in for yourself what is most supportive for you and your writing. You are your first and most important audience, always. And then, give us all the gift of your words.

Love,
Sandra

Re: On Graphic Material & The "I" Character

Sandra,

Thank you for the reminders.  I hope that all active members of D.D. take the time to read this. 

I would like to add, to those who are somewhat new here, that you will find a few places where the rules have been relaxed as far as commenting as though the work personal rather than fictional.  “Hotter Stars” & “Tut's 3” often draw personal comments.  Ramsses has been with Diving Deeper for a long time and his particular brand of writing and the comments given are slightly irregular (and much cherished).   Michaelsit's writing seems to bring about the same type of irregular commenting (i.e. commenting as though the work were personal rather than fictional.)  With that said, don't let this confuse you.  It doesn't mean that the guidelines are not important or shouldn't be adhered to on all other posts.  If all works were treated this way, the whole premise of the D.D. freefall method would fail.  I've watched this process work, watched the lovely unfolding of writer's work open and flower with this process.  So, please, take heed and listen to what Sandra is trying to say.  It is very important and I also feel that we all need to respect the wishes of our cultivator.  She puts her heart and soul into this pod, trying to share something wonderful.  We're so lucky that she does this!

Please allow me to reiterate a few important points:

*If you want to chat, if you want personal feedback, please post in The Treehouse.  Sandra created The Treehouse because it became apparent at one point that we needed a place to just chat and be casual. 

*Please comment as though the piece of work you are reading is a work of fiction.  Comment on the writing ~ what did you like?  What worked for you?  What feelings did it bring up?  What didn't work as well for you?  What questions might you have been left with?

*Try to keep personal chatting to a minimum in the comment sections.  Use gmail or your grapevine for back & forth chats (unless you're in The Treehouse, of course).

*Write for yourself.  Don't write to one-up or shock. 

*Take a minute to think about where your piece belongs before posting. 

Oh, and of course, BE KIND.

Thank you in advance, fellow writer & dear friends.

xo Ayla

Re: On Graphic Material & The "I" Character

Dear Sandra (and all DD Members)

I can tell how much thought went into the letter Sandra wrote on the subject of appropriateness. It is a hard subject to bridge, because so many of the reasons that people have for writing are connected to events, whether fictional or not, that may make someone out there feel uncomfortable.

I just want to take a moment to applaud Sandra for thinking this through so thorougly, and for communicating it so thoughtfully. I do hope everyone will take the time to read and really consider what is being said. Whether we are reading, writing or commenting, we are all performing an integral function - a part of the whole that makes DD work. I think we need to do it  with the utmost responsibility to one another as workshop writers.

In order to be responsible, we really need to think about intention. What is my intention for writing/posting/reading this piece? If I like it, what makes it work for me? If I don't, is it the writer's fault or is it bringing up a difficulty I have with this idea or subject? What is my intention for commenting? How is my response helping this participant to grow as a writer? Would it be more effective to post this anonymously? Which is the best board to post writing of this nature on? Does this piece really belong on Diving Deeper or would it be more appropriate on another forum?

While I think Diving Deeper is able to handle posts of almost any kind,  there is more than just the words on the page that people pick up on. There is mood, tone, sentiment and intention. By really thinking through the words we leave here on DD in all of the roles that we take, we will be staying more true to the method, and growing more as writers and members.

Andrea