Gaia: Healing the Shadow

Re: Forgiveness?

http://SkyeT.gaia.com — Sun, 11 Oct 2009 23:44:06 GMT

Both. Being forgiven (and knowing it) can be a step toward forgiving yourself for harming the other person. Knowing that my actions are no longer held against me, I can begin to let them go.

On the other hand, there are times we will never see those who wronged us. In those cases, the forgiveness is very much for us. By forgiving, I let go of the harm done to me. I let go of the hate, the anger, the pain. In forgiving, I let out the poison those emotions breed.

Only by forgiving and accepting forgiveness do we ever wholly heal.

Re: Re-membering

http://SkyeT.gaia.com — Sun, 11 Oct 2009 23:36:52 GMT

I think that our memories of dark times can show us our strengths. In my rougher moments, I remind myself that if I survived my childhood, I can live through anything. I accept that horrible things happened, but remind myself that I am no longer that helpless little girl.

Even more, I can look at today's situation and see how it relates to before. I can see the potential pitfalls and avoid them. I can see similarities in situation and use them to figure out what my next move should be. This does not mean that I do things the same way; rather I know what did or did not work before, so I can choose my next action.

Forgiveness?

http://feelbetter.gaia.com — Tue, 25 Sep 2007 20:58:45 GMT

If forgiveness for the sinner or the one who has been sinned against?

Re: ALL!! Privacy & Secrecy is a form of shadow creation???

http://ponysong.gaia.com — Fri, 17 Aug 2007 16:34:52 GMT

Thanks for that post!

I am going to look for a copy of Screwtape Letters right away! I remember my Mom reading aloud from it when I was a child, but I had forgotten about that book until this moment.

I agree that privacy and secrecy can foster our darkness, but also that it is necessary, sometimes, to reflect and work in privacy before we feel comfortable bringing things out into the light. Both are necessary for our heling.

Vicki

The cycle

http://feelbetter.gaia.com — Mon, 06 Aug 2007 14:52:20 GMT

death and birth applies to everything. And so here I am, newly dead, raised and now walking along a path - letting my self go that I may be led beyond my small expectations for life. Now that I'm up and moving again, I'll check in regularly, schedule permitting. (see blog 8/6/07)

Re: Fear

http://feelbetter.gaia.com — Mon, 06 Aug 2007 14:39:21 GMT

It never goes away, this factor of fear. In my arrogant moments, I believe I have no fear. Then a condition comes up, some part of my daily living, and I realize I am only barely balanced between a woman living in faith and a woman living in fear.
Is faith the counter to fear? I always assumed it was love. Perhaps faith is a condition of love? Perhaps all this thinking about the formula feeds fear itself - the fear of not knowing the answer. What if there isn't one? What if all this postulation is mere folly? A futile exercise for mini minds.

Re: ALL!! Privacy & Secrecy is a form of shadow creation???

http://feelbetter.gaia.com — Mon, 06 Aug 2007 14:31:16 GMT

Will the truth really set us free? I wonder sometimes. Take the story of adam and eve. Eve sought knowlege of not only good, but evil as well. Just as goodness is true, so is evil. Has knowing evil set us free? Or are we bound to it by simply knowing it exists, whether we encounter or interact with it personally or not. I've been reading C.S. Lewis' The Screwtape Letters. Questioning every thought I have. I'm dizzy with wondering the truth of things. Had to step out of my head and see what others believe.

Time away....

http://feelbetter.gaia.com — Mon, 06 Aug 2007 14:18:16 GMT

...and back again. Progress. Disappointment. Re-evaluating. Starting again. Feeling new. Watching what is getting old, and better able to let go. Thankful God's giving me another day to keep trying to be.......whatever God is creating.

How does failure appear to you? Is it just a word? What is it's meaning?

Re: Fear

Mon, 28 Aug 2006 02:13:39 GMT

To both of you, thank you for sharing what you did. I hope you return as I would like the dialogue to continue.

To all others...join in and let's see what we can break down, down deep. We certainly have ground to cover and I can't think of a better place.

Re: ALL!! Privacy & Secrecy is a form of shadow creation???

Mon, 28 Aug 2006 01:54:19 GMT

I really struggled with the concept of "evil" just a short time ago and still have problems understanding what my conclusion means. I don't want to believe in an "evil" that a "light" cannot be shined upon. So, I will share with you my version of human evil. First, bad deeds to not equate with evil...not by a long shot. Evil is enjoyed. That's the difference. People do bad things. People feel guilty, sometimes repent, confess, whatever. An evil person feels good hurting, abusing, taking advantage of other humans or animals. Their very evil acts strengthen their resolve to create more of them. They enjoy the suffering of others. This is how I see the difference. Not people who make bad decisions or did a really rotten, cruel thing...no, like I said, they like it and don't want to change.

Are these humans rehabilitative? I would hope so, but I cannot say. I try to believe that they must be, as we all belong to a higher light.

As to my own experiences with being "evil" ...different discussion, but it wouldn't be about evil, it would be about bad behavior.

Re: Culture of fear

Mon, 28 Aug 2006 01:44:50 GMT

I agree with Selrahc in many respects, and Whitewolf as he describes the fear of instict, which is completely understandable and necessary. The ego fear, though, is what we're really looking at here. Fear of rejection, humiliation, the unknown consequences of our actions, acceptance. Becoming aware of yourself as you experience these feelings and looking at them objectively - right there in the moment...practice it. I've by no means overcome my own overblown fears, which indicates to me that I am still too wrapped up in my own ego. I need to continue to remove myself from it and see myself as I am, and recognize that I am one of many growing and experiencing these same emotions/thoughts/fears. Deep, deep breath...and acceptance and forward motion. That's what I'm trying to wrap my hands around. I get it, lose it, get it...

Re: In retrospect....

Mon, 28 Aug 2006 01:31:37 GMT

That void you talk about Siona and Rogue - I've not conquered it. I, too, have struggled with addiction and, frankly, I haven't beaten it. I beat it - sometimes for a good while...and then I find myself repeating the same damn scenario. I'm in a stage right now where I've got that feeling again - I've "got it licked." If nothing else, I've progressed spiritually in ways I couldn't have imagined a few months ago. That said, I know I really haven't approached the void. I always replace my void with something else. Usually something more healthy. I become an exercise nut, a health nut, I clean constantly, I try to be this perfect/balanced soul. I've never been able to sit the alcohol down without replacing it IMMEDIATELY with other things and then overdoing them. I tell myself I'm growing, living well. And it's true. When I put it down, I live like I've really got myself together, or so it seems to everyone.

The void is not easily approached for long periods of time. I become uncomfortable in quite a short period of time and have gotten used to preparing ahead of time to avoid it. Just saying so makes me think more deeply about this.

Alchemical NIGREDO

http://psiona.gaia.com — Mon, 28 Aug 2006 00:34:33 GMT

The shadow can become a focus during Saturn Return, the first and the second if the work remains undone first time around at 28-ish.

Here's a chapter I wrote for THE MODERN ALCHEMIST on it
http://themodernalchemist.chaosmagic.com/whats_new.html

Iona
http://ionatopia.50megs.com

Chapter II: Shadow

THE NIGREDO

The nigredo, or blackening phase of the alchemical process, implies a gloomy time of depression. This time of life feels inauspicious. You feel unlucky, caught in a black mood whose origin may seem difficult to pinpoint. This is because your current ego attitudes are outdated and due to lack of adaptability you feel stuck. These feelings may come into your life due to an overload of stress in daily life. As these feelings become more intolerable the notion that life is meaningless comes to the fore. It is simply that life as your ego has known it in the past is outmoded. The subconscious begins to revolt, seeking a psychological revolution in attitudes. If you listen to the voice within your depression, you come to realize that you must willingly subject yourself to change.

This decision to subject yourself to change may be considered a spiritual awakening. You realize your essential being is the material to be transformed via the alchemical process. The black substance you need to understand to proceed further is your own Shadow archetype, or the repressed contents of your personal unconscious. Until you are willing to look at your unlived potential for evil and good you may be stuck in a state of melancholy, sleeplessness, or senseless hyperactivity. You realize that "something is wrong," but can't quite identify what it might be.

Many individuals experience a period of depression or melancholia between the ages of 28 to 30 (and again at 55 to 60). Astrologically, this age group experiences Saturn return, the return of the planet to its original position in the natal chart. Classically, it is a time of disappointment, divorce, soul-searching and reassessment of values and orientation in life. The planet Saturn puts the accent on responsibility, in this case responsibility to yourself for fulfilling your potential. Finally, you are truly grown up and your destiny begins to take form. You may be pressured into it, even if you resist it, and this is that black mood's positive intent.

more at URL http://themodernalchemist.chaosmagic.com/whats_new.html

Re: In retrospect....

http://siona.gaia.com — Mon, 21 Aug 2006 01:28:05 GMT

I just wanted to recognize your courage in being here, and the insight you've demonstrated around your journey.

Have you thought that perhaps that emptiness doesn't need to be filled?

I've struggled with addiction in the past as well, and one of the things that's served me most is learning to accept and just be with the utter depth of that void. It is a little like having a loved one die, in that sense; nothing can possibly take their place, but there is something holy about this . . . that sense that some things are irreplacable and learning how to live and accept that is part of the amazing wonder of just being here on this planet.

Anyway. I'm glad you're still speaking to your inner teen. I loved your picture of her. Good luck, in any case, and congratulations for just being on this path.

Re: Does the shadow need to be healed? Can it heal us?

http://catemurray.gaia.com — Tue, 08 Aug 2006 22:06:58 GMT

The shadow self in most people heals itself through experience and learning and loving..

Maturation brings integration of different aspects of our psyche....as we generally feel the pain associated with the shadow self and become bogged down by its patterns.....and it usually becomes obvious when our shadow is problematic.

Recognising the patterns around pain generates opportunities for healing since most people want to feel better or good about themselves , their life and their relationships.

At the end of the day ...time passes and we just have to get on with whatever crosses our path in ...healed or hurt....and try and make the best of each day....

with love and light

catemurray

Re: ALL!! Privacy & Secrecy is a form of shadow creation???

http://ocean.gaia.com — Sat, 05 Aug 2006 21:09:12 GMT

hehe! :)

It's an interesting one isn't it!

I'm beggining to see 'shadow work' more and more in effective personal development work, usually not refered to as shadow though absolutley that is what they're dealing with whether they're conscious of it or not... It's such a powerful method of growth, I've gone through more transformations since reading about the shadow than I could even begin to mention, and that's really not doing any-THING in particular, just being present to the concept...

Re: The shadow of death

http://PlaytheWorld.gaia.com — Tue, 01 Aug 2006 01:40:59 GMT

Dear Rogue,

Re: The shadow of death

http://folksoul.gaia.com — Fri, 28 Jul 2006 19:59:32 GMT

i was talking to my mentor a few years ago going through a VERY dark period. had lost my relationship, closed my business, filed for bankruptcy and pretty much had no idea what i was doing next, had some health issues going on and layers of self loathing about all that. he called me one evening and i was a wreck and in a really dark place and he said 'sounds JUICY' in this very pleasant way. oddly, it was transformative for me. in the midst of the darkness there was a part of me that was able to go into the pain without having to judge it as 'negative'.

andrew harvey's book, 'dark night of the soul' has a good couple chapters at the start (the rest i thought was fairly neurotic frankly), as does thomas moore's book 'dark nights' or some similar name. haven't looked through the pod yet to see what books people are talking about.

when i was going through that time ramakrishna's thoughts on kali were helpful for me. 'though you beat me mother (divine mother) hold me.'

i like the kali-esque view on things from hinduism. the darkness being a teacher and an aspect where it may in fact not be 'evil' so much as something uniquely rich and textural.

tibetans have the story of milarepa grappling with the demon and finally putting his head in its mouth and saying 'eat me'. i remember many a dark night sitting and just opening to the pain and saying 'eat me'. not that i was going to physically harm myself, but just saying to the darkness to consume me if it must, opening to it fully. the energy would move through me in a different way and it usually didn't feel great that night, but started to move the next day.

i also like to just pray through the night sometimes if it gets really dark. i like to pray to hindu deities (shiva is a favorite and/or kali when i get like that and just surrender into the inner imagery surrounding it. oddly it starts to move through me a bit better), or i meditate on skulls and skeletons, death, which is very tibetan buddhist. letting my ego dissolve.

i used to say 'if life sucks anyhow, i may as well throw out all this crap i don't care about'. if i am going to die anyhow, i may as well get rid of my yearbooks from highschool which i HATED those years. there was something very liberating about just letting myself let go.

i took some NEW DKNY jeans (technically cords) and cut the bottom off and made it trashy looking and then cut a pocket off and thrashed them up a bit as that felt at the time more like how i felt as my world was falling apart. i wanted pants that were from the thrift store at one point and clothes that were more beat up and since i didn't have any i got some used. a friend gave me some old used socks. i just felt like hell and it felt better to have more thrashed clothes.

best of luck in your journey into the dark. will look through the pod and see what else others are saying and may add more.

-d

The shadow of death

http://feelbetter.gaia.com — Sun, 23 Jul 2006 15:33:37 GMT

I wonder about my life and it's dance with the shadows. My daily living is rather dark these days. I hear the shadow speaking to me but I still don't understand the message. I hear the words, but the meaning is masked - it is, after all, shrouded in darkness. Last Saturday my husband tells me he's leaving me. He was standing in our bedroom in the darkness. I was lying on the bed listening as he spoke from the shadows. "I'm bored." We haven't even been married two years and already he seek sexual variety. I new he was young when I married him but that does little to ease the pain. Loss. Death of a relationship is the hardest for me. That's why I avoid connecting with people, I stay in the corner of the dance floor - dancing to myself. Aloof some may call me, impersonal. Life is impersonal. We get born, cords are cut, we bond with people we love, they leave, we grow, we regress, our ego's are built up, destroyed, rebuilt again. It's endless. From the time we are born we learn to cut away from that which we love. I remain detached so when something is cut away, I can let go without losing big chunks of my self in the process. I was talking to a guy last night at a bar, (who coincedently was drowning his own sorrows about his wife leaving him.) After I stated my soap box claim that boys are stupid, and love is impractical, he gently suggested that that's what it's about. Taking that risk. "Because if you don't, you're not living."

If I were drowning in a river, intinctually I would want to swim for shore, to find something to hold onto. But what if I just went with the flow, let the river take me where it will. Let go and trust. Shouldn't I at least try to save myself, keep my head above water while the current has it's way with me? Or am I meant to die? Might I be reborn greater?

Last night I got a phone call; my grandfather - my father's father - is dying. Bleeding from his colon. Only a few days left to live.

Of course my shadow side wants to drink till I'm blind, until I can't feel feelings anymore. But I'm bowing out of that dance. She'll have to dance alone or find some other way to express herself. I will not start drinking again.

"Ye, though the shadows of darkness walk through my valley, I fear no death." H'vn Lee Skyes.

Re: owning your own shadow

http://ocean.gaia.com — Sat, 15 Jul 2006 03:48:03 GMT

I read this a little while back when I first heard the term "Shadow"

I've got to say the BIGGEST changes in my life so far have occured since becoming present to this inner 'entity' which is sustained by our mind identification with fear and shame...

Another superb resource which takes this UP a level to get you REALLY present and able to recognise when 'the shadow' is at work and how to dissolve it is The Power Of Now by Eckhart Tolle!

It's OK knowing about the shadow but it ain't really gonna help you to simply be filled with info and try to use 'mind techniques' NO CHANCE! This one has to be dealt with from the core and with feelings/emotions which NEVER lie, thoughts & thinking can lie...

Good luck, the path outta this is much MUCH closer than you think:)

Peace Love Vision

Sean

Rock n' Roll Love-Ninja!™ “I'm preparing a love virus to shake your concepts
Making plumes of peace smoke, no joke!
I'm all metaphor not threats”