The Space Between Minds

The space between minds is where your ego fears to go, because it involves ‘others.’ This fear always manifests as blame and condemnation of the other, as we fail to meet in that space, while become more estranged from it. Time serves only two purposes, to come close or farther away

It is not the space between thoughts that must be explored, but the space between minds. That’s the final frontier that has yet to be explored, because consciousness is shared and all exploration must be a joint venture.

But be forewarned, in that ‘place’ you will not find your ‘self,’ nor will you find the other or the other find you. However, what you will find is beyond your comprehension because it is beyond your conditions.

World change requires collective access to this ‘space.’ However, even two minds engaged in the mutual goal of seeing each other differently can become immersed in a conceptually indefinable bliss rarely encountered and impossible to describe.
Perceiving the other, without the past literally changes physical reality, simply because physical reality is an interior experience that the ego splits itself off from by applying exterior concepts. Joint minds create and this is the world we all experience together, because we created it together.

Yet, because the ego fears others (more than any other experience) it attempts to go there alone and this has always been defined as the individual “hero’s journey”. The problem is that, alone nothing will be found because nothing is created. We create together as components of the same composite consciousness. In misunderstanding our function (relationship) we constructed the experience of an individual ‘self’ that is known only through embodiment. The irony is that ‘we’ collectively constructed individualism and although we are mired in our individual egos, we cannot deny a force pulling us together. But we can resist that force and it is this resistance that often makes us feel exhausted in all our personal conflicts.

To experience the space between minds is to dive in head first with whoever you feel close to at the moment. There was no coincidence in those you chose and chance does not play a role in this infinite game. Only choice or free-will is at your disposal, so don’t waste it.

This time, instead of again stepping ever-farther back, stare fear in the face…and jump!

Just saying…
mikeS
 

Re: The Space Between Minds

mm…

so, opening my mind to see where the communion is … in this space between minds… (and also the space within minds perhaps - the same space??)
does this space have much to do with thought, with language… or is there a deeper commune - ication - something that the words may point toward… some sort of experience of connection OTHER than thought…

mmm…

Re: The Space Between Minds

Mike, I have been meaning to get over here…I find your ideas interesting…

If I understand what you are saying, it is that when we are contemplating that space between thoughts, we might as well be jacking off…but when we are experiencing that space between minds, and engaging with another being…we are actually living…diving into the space where fear can be transcended…

Am I understanding you correctly?

Re: The Space Between Minds

Mike, I have been on an incredible journey of the heart since the first 7 hour conversation I had on the phone with Robert in late September. We have talked every day for about 5-8 hours except the weekend when he was here, when we of course talked much less :)

What happens every day is that our bond strengthens between our minds and hearts. Most of the time we are able to follow each other very easily and sometimes we struggle to understand the full context of the other's words. But we always learn so very very much in the heart open space we inhabit together. It has opened me up more to those around me, so that I find myself naturally having more and deeper conversations with both friends and total strangers at every opportunity.

Love is a many-splendoured thing,

With joy and gratitude,

Nicole

Re: The Space Between Minds

hi.
mike are you saying that coincidence and chance does not play in this jumping in with who we choose to be intimate with? 

if that is what you are saying - then i  don't know about that…  i think that chance and coincidence plays very strongly in who appears in our “field” … and it is from those in our field - that there may be one, or some (or none) that we are drawn toward - depending on our personal characteristics … our fears and our openness together mixing in the force of attraction…

hi nicole - i am delighted for (with) you!

Re: The Space Between Minds

Thank you so much, dear friend. I am still so amazed every day to be in this place.

Love,

Nicole

Re: The Space Between Minds

Christine,

mike are you saying that coincidence and chance does not play in this jumping in with who we choose to be intimate with?

Yep, that's exactly what I'm saying. I find it amazing how we often need to repeat the same experiences (only with different people and situations) until one day we get it, the “aha, so that's what's going on.” At that point the experiences tend to change, but it's experiences that we attract, not things or people.

Unfortunately, since we believe so strongly in chance and coincidence, relationships have become highly expendable. This doesn't mean all relationships are meant to last forever, just that one may not have the sufficient information to make that determination him or herself (although we do it all the time in the belief we know what is good for us).

and it is from those in our field - that there may be one, or some (or none) that we are drawn toward - depending on our personal characteristics … our fears and our openness together mixing in the force of attraction…

I agree that it is, in fact, our “field” and we are very much in charge of what experiences enter that field. And yes, the experiences are contingent on “our fears and our openness.” The experiences we attract are always, broadly speaking, the same. In our “openness” we desire joining, but in our fears we remain apart.

Just saying, though…
mikeS

Re: The Space Between Minds

Nicole,

It has opened me up more to those around me, so that I find myself naturally having more and deeper conversations with both friends and total strangers at every opportunity.

Ahhh…now this is an important point and is why I've defined “awakening” or “enlightenment” as a mutual experience that is then naturally superimposed, or transposed, upon our experience of the world. As I see it, this is why we will never really seek to save our planet, until we experience the motivation to do so as emergent from the depth of our most intimate relationships. Until then, all attempts to improve the planet will be token endeavors as they always have been. It is doubtful to me that we will ever seek to improve the 'exterior' while the interior is essentially dead or dying.

Thanks!
mikeS

Re: The Space Between Minds

Mike, I am the one who thanks you. And I am deeply grateful each day to Robert who motivates me to engage more and more deeply with each person I meet.

Love,

Nicole

Re: The Space Between Minds

Starlight,

If I understand what you are saying, it is that when we are contemplating that space between thoughts, we might as well be jacking off…but when we are experiencing that space between minds, and engaging with another being…we are actually living…diving into the space where fear can be transcended…

HA! PERFECTLY STATED!! (You have put me to shame)

And yes, only through this “diving” into that 'space' will the fear be “transcended” and I think it will be transcended because it will finally be seen for what it is, delusional.

You may not agree with this theory, but you succinctly described, in few words, the general gist of all my blah, blah, blah.

Kudos for that!
mikeS

PS: and yes, I sometimes feel that masturbation and meditation have quite a bit in common, particularly in relation to all the stimulation of brain chemicals. HA!

Re: The Space Between Minds

rotflmao…omg&g…!!!

well, i am sitting with it within experience…and i have to tell u, that it makes a lot of sense from where i am looking…it would explain all the repeats we do in a lifetime…different beings same challenges…and it proves we cannot run away from ourselves…cuz where ever we go…there we are…

delusional???  i certainly agree with that observation regarding fear…in fact, i don't see anything i am disagreeing with at this point, but, uknowme…i'm still eyeballing it…gol…

Mike, i really appreciate the fresh perspective…so, kudos rightbackatcha!  gol…*

Re: The Space Between Minds

argh, lost my post… this is the third time this has happened today, once with a private message, once with a comment and now with a post. Something is buggier than usual on Gaia, I used to be able to get those messages back…

Last night, Robert and I had our first bad fight. We saw at close hand how fear can seduce us away from our deepest joy in each other to a place where we are both cowering separately in our private hells staring at each other over a chasm.

After we resolved the issue, realising how a light remark had exposed our greatest vulnerabilities and triggered intense suffering in us both, we did as we always do. We talked it through further to discover what the lessons learned were. How could we avoid this in the future, or at least recognise it sooner so that there be little or no alienation and more of a working through at the onset?

We were able to identify the need to stay in each other's arms, if not physically, at least energetically (at this point we are usually about six hours' drive apart). The need to trust in each other's love, in Grace and the joy that we can always live if we do not listen to fear and its messages - he/she doesn't really love you, is just like the others who hurt you, you will only hurt each other too much like before and the best thing is to run, run away as fast as you can…

Instead, we said, Get thee behind me Satan, and rolled up our sleeves to continue to work of loving more and more deeply.

With gratitude and much love,

Nicole

Re: The Space Between Minds

So Mike, if I keep diving into that space with all these idiots that I keep crossing paths with, does that mean that one of them will finally turn into something besides a jackass???  gol…

Re: The Space Between Minds

if I keep diving into that space with all these idiots that I keep crossing paths with, does that mean that one of them will finally turn into something besides a jackass???

HA! No truer words ever spoken.

i'm not sure you can dive into that space with an idiot or a jackass. However, when we seek to go there, and another refuses based on fear, then we're likely to consider that person an idiot or a jackass (in fact, I recall those terms being leveled against me in the past and, I must admit, I was clearly an idiot with regard to intimacy).

However, it seems you have identified the difference between male and female ego conditioning and we cannot deny that males are clearly at a disadvantage with regard to childhood formative conditioning, which is so utterly opposing to intimacy. Which also identifies why, as a male, I have attained such a fascination with those depths, since they are completely opposed to my early chidlhood training. Because of formative conditioning males, no matter what gender, will have difficulties with deeply engaging and there's no denying this. However, the potential exists within males, as much as females, since I believe the potential lies below or beyond egoic conditioning and is inherent to every mind.

Just saying though…
mikeS

Re: The Space Between Minds

Hey Mike, ok this gets back to the other thread…and I agree…but it is almost like women have to raise the very men that they fall inlove with (which was your point on the other thread)…while the man usually opts out of the emotional relationship, and women are forced to find that with another woman…while their men go scratch their balls, drink beer, and lust after younger women…lol

I don't want it to seem like I am beating up on men…but hey…just saying…that has been my experience…I'm currently looking for a younger man to train…LOL

Women seem more equipt at diving into those spaces of honest engagement…however, they are not beyond being sidetracked by dellusion and fantasy thinking…men and women seem to encourage and perpetuate it in one another…what to do, what to do…gol*

Re: The Space Between Minds

I think we're deluding ourselves if we believe that women should be “in charge”; I know very few women (and an equally small number of men) who I would put in charge…what we need is humans who are more adept at balancing the feminine and masculine in themselves.

MikeS,

Your description of the male conditioning is not universal - there are societies where there is a more balanced approach to bringing up young men…

Frans

Re: The Space Between Minds

just so this won't be a re-peat of another thread…

I don't think anyone is saying that women alone should be in charge…

what we need is humans who are more adept at balancing the feminine and masculine in themselves.



agreed…

Re: The Space Between Minds

Frans,

Your description of the male conditioning is not universal - there are societies where there is a more balanced approach to bringing up young men…

Oh, and where might they be? Certainly no developed society that I can think of and if we're considering the Amazonian Pygmies of Brazil, I'm not sure we can look to them as a model (that's the pre/trans faaaaaallacy!)

In addition, I'm having difficulty contemplating this balance of masculine/feminine. These are dualistically opposing characteristics, which could never be in balance (IMO). Although I've heard others make that assertion many times, I can't seem to grok it. What would a balanced masculine/feminine look like? Seems like a completely balanced masculine feminine would no longer be either masculine/feminine, but some new creature. In fact, wouldn't a balance between masculine and feminine actually cancel each other out, since they are dualistically opposing? If one were equally both masculine and feminine, then they could be neither masculine nor feminine, but something else.

What?
mikeS

Re: The Space Between Minds

Duch society, Swedish society, Norwegian society, to name a few that I know of…and bear in mind - I'm saying “more balanced” than the USA-version…

How is masculine dualistically opposed to feminine?  It's not black/white or good/bad - they are two aspects of the human condition, one coming more from agency the other more from communion.  I'm convinced we all have access to both - of course males will be more inclined to the masculine and women to the feminine, but still, in an integral (ha!) reality each and every one of us can incorporate both, acting from the masculine aspect when needed, and from the feminine aspect when needed…

But maybe that's the Dutch in me, and it make no sense to USA male/female..?

Frans

Re: The Space Between Minds

Well I can't speak to these two societies (although I trained with the Norwegian army in 1983 and those guys were pretty damn rugged and quite clear about their desire to destroy their mortal enemy, the USSR). “More balanced than the USA version”? Possibly, but I see the world becoming westernized and western values tend to reinforce individualism or masculine above feminine, while at the same time others vilify the overly masculine world.

How is masculine dualistically opposed to feminine?  It's not black/white or good/bad - they are two aspects of the human condition, one coming more from agency the other more from communion.

Masculine is opposite feminine and and both are dualistically distinctive. Too little white and black rules, too little bad and good overcompensates, too much feminine and masculine is weakened.

I'm convinced we all have access to both - of course males will be more inclined to the masculine and women to the feminine, but still, in an integral (ha!) reality each and every one of us can incorporate both, acting from the masculine aspect when needed, and from the feminine aspect when needed…

Yes, clearly we all have access to both. But, “when needed”? Now there's the rub. What ego-self will accurately make such a determination? In fact, such a determination, as to when masculine should predominate over feminine and vice versa, could never be balanced, since the ego is inherently imbalanced or it wouldn't be an ego.
In my humble opinion those two concepts are useless to defining the “human condition” and quite possibly result in the increased suffering of the human condition, as most dualistic concepts seem to do. I think you aptly pointed out in another thread that we need to delve into what brings us together and I feel that these two distinctions, masculine and feminine, serve to keep us apart.

But, as always I'm very open to other viewpoints, because I feel I'm most likely in the minority again.
mikeS

Re: The Space Between Minds

I like the way that Robert has a lot of qualities often seen as feminine, while I have many “masculine” qualities, and yet he is so masculine and I - well you know me :)

So, we can continue to work on this balancing act through deep meaningful relationships,

Love,

Nicole

Re: The Space Between Minds

Hey MikeS,

So much is semantics, right?  Of course the ego self can never make an accurate determination, but getting familiar with both aspects, allowing ourselves to open to the other aspect when we're hard-wired not to do so actually weakens the ego-self and makes it easier to do be more open the next time around, weakening the grip of the ego a little bit more.  The first step is always the hardest. 

What drives us apart will bring us together!  (Sorry, couldn't help myself, hehe)

Frans

Re: The Space Between Minds

Hey Frans, I am delighted when you can't help yourself :) and yes, opening to that other aspect weakens the ego-self bit by bit…

Love

Nicole