The heart of myself has always been something just wanting so bad.  I have had an empty center, black as a basement, but also knowing about light and waiting.  Young as I am, I know now that everything is about to come.  Jimmy will be the place for me to learn the real happiness.  He will be my Joy School.  My joy.  Mine.

When it's new and important, you have to rest in between times.  And anyway, even when I like a person there is a weariness that comes.  I can be with someone and everything is fine and then all of a sudden it can wash over me like a sickness, that I need the quiet of my own self.  I need to unload my head and look at what I've got in there so far.  See it.  Think what it means.  I always need to come back to being alone for awhile.  I guess I sort of got used to it when I was younger and now it's mixed in my character like eggs in a cake.  Sometimes I wonder, does this mean I'll have to be a nun or something?