I want to have a lasting experience of God.

In the end, what I have come to believe about God is simple. It's like this-- I used to have this really great dog. She came from the pound. She was a mixture of about ten different breeds, but seemed to have inherited the finest features of them all. She was brown. When people asked me,What kind of dog is that?" I would always give the same answer: "she's a brown dog." Similarly, when the question is raised, "What kind of God do you beieve in?" my answer is easy: "I believe in a magnificent God."

Take care of the problems now, or else you'll just have to suffer again later when you scew everything up the next time.  And that repetition of suffering - that's hell.  Moving out of that endless repetition to a new level of understand - there's where you'll find heaven.

Where did you get that idea you aren't allowed to petition the universe with prayer? You are part of this universe, Liz. You're a constituent - you have every entitlement to participate in the actions of the universe, and to let your feelings be known. So put your opinion out there. Make your case. Believe me - it will at least be taken into consideration.