As you learn to consciously observe the transformation process, you will watch yourself repeating a lot of old patterns long after you seemingly know better.  Spiritually and intellectually, you realize there is another way, but emotionally you are still clinging to the old habits.  This is a difficult time.  Try to be patient and compassionate with yourself.  When you recognize the futility of an old pattern so clearly, it's about to change!  A short time later, you will suddenly begin to respond differently, in a more positive way.

Every creative genius has been a channel.  Every masterwork has been created through the channeling process.  Great works are not created by the personality alone.  They arise from a deep inspiration on the universal level, and are then expressed and brought into form through the individual personality.