"there are chickens. there are eggs. there are deaf girls singing karaoke. nothing makes sense anymore."

the world is your oyster, but you're allergic to shellfish.

If she wanted to think that apathy and independence were the same thing, good for her. Maybe she was right.

Cowardice, when done correctly, can be its own kind of bravery.

I felt like Meg Ryan, seconds from tragic death. It was fucking harrowing.

Dudes who fuck guinea pigs are the modern equivalent of that three-headed dog and Medusa and all those other Greek monsters.  That's how far we've come in a few thousand years.

there comes a time in every man's life when he wakes up drunk on the toilet and begins to doubt the choices he has made. and when that time comes at least twice a day, every day.  something needs to be done.