The central premise of this book is that the Western psychological notion of what it means to have a self is flawed.

Buddhism teaches us that happiness does not come from any kind of acquisitiveness, be it material or psychological. Happiness comes from letting go. In Buddhism, the impenetrable, separate, and individuated self is more of the problem than the solution.

When we seek happiness through accumulation, either outside of ourselves--from other people, relationships, or material goods--or from our own self-development, we are missing the essential point. In either case we are trying to find completion. But according to Buddhism, such a strategy is doomed. Completion comes not from adding another piece to ourselves but from surrendering our ideas of perfection.

We are looking for a way to feel more real, but we do not realize that to feel more real we have to push ourselves further into the unknown.

As my Buddhist teachers have shown me, wisdom emerges in the space around words as much as from language itself.