What do you feel about visiting members?

I'd love to know what group cultivator and moderators feel about members who join to comment on a particular point, perhaps because they've been invited to do so, and then leave after the discussion ends or even after commenting.

Would you rather they never joined?
Have you had a problem with someone who left soon after they joined?
Do you wish Gaia had  feature that allowed members to join temporarily?
If so, would you also wish for a feature that let us know when a member has joined temporarily so that you don't send them a welcome note, for instance?


Some back info if you'd like to study this topic before responding [but NOT necessary to do so ]

A discussion on Site Suggestions at the Think Tank:Groups
On Gaia Networking :Pro's and Con's of Drop-in Discussion Commenters

Laurie's wish-list:” I have messaged in the suggestion of a one or two time interactive “visit” opportunity.”

Please share.

Re: What do you feel about visiting members?

I think it depends on how one perceives one's group. I see it as a little area of Gaia, where people come when they are drawn there, and either stay or wander elsewhere. It's all good, as a friend says :)

Love,

Nicole

Re: What do you feel about visiting members?

Nicole, I have to say that I'm moving towards this way of looking at groups. I feel that it is important to have committed members; but if they're committed to a thread, that's better than never coming!  As you know, we invite friends to come to features  like birthdays or Featured Member weeks; so I'm aware that some members join and then leave. 

But if it's not a feature, and someone leaves as I'm sending a welcome note- oops! or rather, ouch!

Re: What do you feel about visiting members?

People come into our lives for a reason, a season or as I like to say “longer”, I've no experience with lifetime anythings, especially friends.  I would say the same for group members.

It matters not to me.  Easy come, easy go.  Make a comment, leave.  It's all part of the flow of Spirit.  It is how Spirit moves me.  

I made a commitment when I created a group.  As you know, I don't even expect such a commitment from my moderators.  I chose them for personality traits and maturity, for spiritual depth, not activity.  Fortunately, mine are active enough to help me keep momentum going in my group.

When I accept an offer to be a moderator elsewhere, I do try to indicate that I will give what I can, as my time allows but won't commit to a certain level of interaction, simply because I can't - because of time and because Spirit would not function as freely in taking me where I need to be, if I locked all my time in only a few places.  It is this free flow of Spirit that caused me to oppose the “rating” system that was implemented when Zaadz transitioned to Gaia.  That free flow brings the most effective results.

Sometimes I'm active in a group and sometimes I'm gone for a long time.  Same could be said for blogs - my friends blogs and even my own.  Even my family gets of me only what I can give and I give all I have to give whenever I give it, always.

Deb

Re: What do you feel about visiting members?

I generally dont take it personally when members leave groups - I think there are too many varying reasons why people leave groups that I do not try and work out what their reason is.

Re: What do you feel about visiting members?

Visiting members have not caused any problems in my groups, for the most part.  In the Integral Post-metaphysical Spirituality pod, there is an active core group, so visiting members have not tended to interrupt the goings-on, and have sometimes contributed new viewpoints that were welcome (since core groups tend to settle on a more limited, shared range of concerns and interests).  Generally, if the visiting member contributes more than a couple posts, I will direct them to some threads that might help them get more oriented to the focus of the group (since, for the groups I administer, the focus is rather specialized).

Re: What do you feel about visiting members?

enjoying the points of view here….

Some questions:
so Anna [HummingBird], if someone leaves a comment and another comments on that and the first member doesn't respond, do you try to write to them and ask for their input? It happened to me once, and then I realized that the member had left the group!! Cultivators only know when members join and not when they leave, so this sometimes can cause a stop in the flow of conversation.

I've learned from you Deb, not to worry too much about whether or not members post, come or leave. This does work for groups that rely on moderator input like One light Many Windows, Living Metaphysics and so on. 

It's also not an issue for busy groups; or once like yours, Bruce [Balder], where there's a committed core group. But in a relatively quiet group…?



[I'm saying your names strangely in case some of our new members wonder who I'm talking to!!!!]

Re: What do you feel about visiting members?

i don't think it really matters how busy or quiet the group is, Meenakshi. it really turns on the philosophy of the cultivator and the mods. 

for example, many people here know that i cultivate the God Pod, which is usually steadily active, but has sometimes become very quiet. but probably less people consider the nearly-dead group i cultivate, the Zed is Us eh? (canada pod). i don't worry about it. very occasionally i will think to post to it, or someone will drop in briefly. it isn't important to me whether or not it's active.

it's been interesting to me as i've been thinking about activity of groups over the past months to observe the spontaneous revival of groups at times, for no apparent reason, due to one or two people getting interested in posting - it can be a temporary phenomenon or a start of a true wake-up. 

to me, it's all good.

Love,

Nicole

Re: What do you feel about visiting members?

Meenakshi, that's an interesting point. It may be good if we receive notifications when members leave groups too. Or even next to posted icons it could read 'no longer group member' or something. However I don't feel anxiety over the issue you raise.  I like to let threads take on their own life and if something unexpected happens like that - well, that's just how it is. If its a lively conversation - someone else is bound to step in.. and I guess there's life outseide the group too - if follow up is necessary it can be done.

I agree, Nicole - I'm a bit reluctant to find ways of keeping groups unnaturally active - i feel people come in and out as they feel to. I like to sometimes draw members attention to discussions, etc which I think they may wish to participate in - or that a member would benefit if there is more input. But shy away from becoming a 'group spammer' - though at times I'm sure I have failed. I do love it when my groups are active - though it can also feel exhausting - on the other hand - rest periods feel healthy and natural too.

Re: What do you feel about visiting members?

Thank you for your input, Anna and Nicole.  So to go back to Laurie's wish-list at the top of the thread, what would you say to her suggestion of a 
” a one or two time interactive “visit” opportunity.””

Re: What do you feel about visiting members?

Hi Meenakshi, sorry, I don't know what Laurie meant by that.

Re: What do you feel about visiting members?

Hi Nicole,

On the feature we are doing on Laurie this week, she answered:
  Gaia Networking:  What do you most dislike about Gaia/wish would change?  How are you helping to change that?


LAURIE: There are times when I am invited to visit a group to “throw in mytwo-cents worth” on a topic. In order to do that, I actually have to become a member of the group.  Like most people, my time is limited.  As such, I try to limit the number of groups that I make a commitment to because I don’t want to become a member of a group where I can’t spend quality time and make quality contributions. I have messaged in the suggestion of a one or two time interactive “visit” opportunity.


Meenakshi's reply which led to this discussion:  Laurie, I'm getting to see each visitor to your thread in an even warmer light; and I thank you and ~KES and all for doing this. This is exactly what these features are for; in a way they become  a feature of all visitors; the world of Gaia through Laurie's energy!

Your  message of heart is exactly what is needed for our time. As my mentor used to say: Think with your heart, feel with your mind.”  A way to raising the vibration as you do so effortlessly.

I really loved that poem about trees, George. Even though you haven't used the word, you have described the celestial tree!

On a more grounded note, Laurie, when group cultivators or moderators request your presence for a special feature, I think they'll understand if you join just to post - wish someone for a birthday and so on - and then leave if you need to. For you to become a member and ex-member is just two clicks of the button. But I see that the reason you don't want to do that, is because of your deep sense of responsibility.

It's something I 'm going to ask in the Mod Pod, and see what cultivators/mods feel about this. I know Gael / Zephyr had brought this up once in the Think Tank and we'd discussed it in this group as well.

If you'd like to, here's a link: Pro's and Con's of Drop-in Discussion Commenters

Laurie replied:  Meenakshi - 
 
Thank you for the link.  I read and resonate with what Gina said.  I don't want to be a person who “writes and runs.”  Like her, if I am going to join a group it's because I want to be an active participant and I want to provide value.

Re: What do you feel about visiting members?

thanks! Laurie's perspective is certainly a valid one (as is everyone's).  I just have  a different one, so don't personally see the need for what she is suggesting. Seems a bit complicated.

Hugs,

Nicole

Re: What do you feel about visiting members?

I resonate with the laissez-faire attitude, doing my best to keep a group active, but not pushing the river, and I don't mind drop-in folks; that's life, as others have observed. And if someone isn't being responded to by another poster, and they want a response, they can pursue the person themselves. 

With one-click joining and one-click leaving, I don't see the need for any special procedure or status for “visitors” to a group. I adore the suggestion that cultivators be notified when someone leaves a group; I think this has been requested before, in the Thinktank. I will have to ponder keeping a person's icon in the group with “no longer a member of this group” label by their icon in all their posts. Interesting. I bet a lot of folks who leave would object to that….. But it's logically parallel to what is done when a person leaves the site…..

I appreciate people who stay around, at least til the end of the particular conversation they have popped in and contributed to. I myself can't understand not wanting to know what people DO with what I said !!!!!! And I can see regarding such stopping by, tossing out something, and leaving, as rude. But since I trust that all is in Divine Order, I am more inclined to check for the value that person left in the conversation, and not hold them to more. Perhaps they fulfilled their Divine purpose by one post !! (whether they are conscious of it or not.)

Them's my opinions FWIW !!!!

Blessings, OM Bastet

Re: What do you feel about visiting members?

Well, strictly speaking, a person can follow what people DO with what they said by reading the group as a nonmember….

OM

Re: What do you feel about visiting members?

Hi OM… thanks for the input.  In the one group that I cultivate when someone has left Gaia, I remove their posts when they left on bad terms and when they only contributed an acknowledgment or comment that doesn't tie in with the topic at hand.  There is no reason for people to leave here.  If someone is taking off for work or vacation or a long period or never coming back, just leave the profile up as a memory and that sets a better example than some :-) message that puts “noise” in all of the groups. Why reward that?  I agree with Laurie that there are an abundance of groups here and the click in… click out is fine with me on my group and very cool when they mention that in a mannerly way.  I would rather have one comment than unknown readers.

Re: What do you feel about visiting members?

Dang, sorry for the third post. I see the issue is, for Laurie, that you won't allow yourself to join a group without a committment. That's an individual choice you're making, Laurie. I appreciate your sense of responsibility, as Meenakshi has described, but also perhaps now that we are talking about all this, you could allow yourself more flexibility, more options ???? Especially when you know in advance that the group cultivator is fine with your just dropping in and out again??? Then the Team wouldn't have to program in a special category of members! (That sounds like a flip remark, but they really are stretched to their limits.)

Just a thought. I honor everyone's choices.

Hugs, OM 

. 

Re: What do you feel about visiting members?

Hey Kathy, I'm with you: I fail to understand why anyone would delete a profile here, but I guess some folks want to cut ties, or they leave in a huff and think they are thumbing their nose at us. I think leaving a profile is the polite thing!!

I've never had to deal with someone leaving one of my groups on bad terms, so I don't know whether I would delete their non-contributing posts…..

I chuckled about “I would rather have one comment than unknown readers.” Yeah, lurkers are great, but frustrating when we really want to know who's “participating” in our group. 

Yeah, it's sooooo respectful when someone leaves a group with an explicit and respectful explanation and “So long.”  Sure wish there would be more of those!!!

Perhaps these comments are off-topic, but one of my baaaad traits as a group member is straying off-topic. But I still have the good of the group at heart….

Smiles, OM

Re: What do you feel about visiting members?

P.S. Just to make a bit of community cultural etiquette explicit: I grapevined Laurie with a link to my post here addressing her, inviting her to email me a response to post here, if she isn't a member and doesn't want to join. That way I am not talking about her or to her, behind her back….

OM

Re: What do you feel about visiting members?

Oh, glad you mentioned that OM; since I had said I'll let Laurie and other GN members know, who're interested, in this; I'll also place a link to the post at the Pros and cons….thread I referenced above.

Re: What do you feel about visiting members?

Master lurker jumps into the fray to acknowledge all the wisdom here.

I had someone fling me a PM today asking me to please remove their name off the comment I left on their blog post, then to repost it 'cause they liked the comment but wanted to remain anonymous? What's your take on that?

OM you don't have any bad traits and you are not off topic.

Smiles back
=)

Re: What do you feel about visiting members?

Hi FastDart ~

I truly honor when someone want anonymity.   That is a great way to handle it… via a personal message.  I have gotten that type of message where if in doubt, ask them.  Smiles back too = - )

Re: What do you feel about visiting members?

~KES
Being that they live way across the wide deep blue and only had been on Gaia for a few days when they left their name here. I figure they just got cold feet or perhaps it was something darker and more sinister. 

I honored the request and hope they continue to interact.

Re: What do you feel about visiting members?

Lurkers is a problem for all of the internet.  In general, we are a voyeuristic society, so I don't see any problems with allowing and even supporting that behavior.  People will post when they have something to say.  It is our job as moderators and cultivators to make the posts inviting and interesting enough for everyone.  Not an easy task, but challenge is good. ;)

Blessings!
Need Advice? Looking for Inspiration? Ask Inspirations from Binah

Re: What do you feel about visiting members?

Out of the mouths of babes… soooooo true.  We must come up with inviting topics or expect that there will just be readers only.  Writing topics that other either understand and want to contribute to or learn more is challenging but rewarding when we get readers that comment.

For example–some that are from my earlier posts just tossing out ideas:
Abundance
An Appeal to My Fellow Members of…
Thanks, but No Thanks…

are workable to write something around.  Looking at the number of posts for a topic and there were more responses than others is a good measure to bring up more as a journal.