Hugging -- What do you think?

I found an article in the New York Times today about hugging among children and teenagers. Apparently,

Re: Hugging -- What do you think?

I agree.  I think banning hugging sends the wrong message.  The exact wrong message.  Create the proper environment for healthy touch.  Don't try and rid our youth of this basic necessity.  I mean, are they TRYING to create long-term psychological issues?

Re: Hugging -- What do you think?

wow. people today are so…UGH!! i love hugging. i love to give hugs. i love to receive hugs. hugs make you feel better, or make someone else feel better. if someone touches you were you dont want them to, make it obvious and tell whomever needs to be told in order to serve up justice for said violation. if they dont like hugging, then you should also set the kids up with muzzles so they cant talk to eachother again. if you ban hugging, i think that eventually will just lead to more and more government control over our personal lives, and more and more police and other officials abusing their powers. take for instance the strip search of the young girl in..arizona was it? or police racism or sex crimes? they can get away with it..because who is the law going to believe, jane smith, or the police officer? i put my money on the government official..mr. protector of the public police officer. George Orwell was right…and very soon, our democratic society will be that of the totalitarian government in Orwell's novel “1984”

that law is B.S. hugs are awesome.

Re: Hugging -- What do you think?

Hugging is very important to psychical and mental health of all human beings. We as Americans (I don't know about other countries) have gotten so very distant from each other that we have grown afraid of our neighbors. Touch is so lacking no wonder antidepressants are one of the top selling drugs on the market to day. We as living creatures need touch. Did you know when a mother kisses a child's bobo better it not onle eases the childs mind but has mesurable affects on the healing prosses. It actualy heals faster than if you just ignore it. Our bodies starve for loving touch, requires it to remain healthy and sane. Banning hugging is simply rediculas. Education, now that is the key. not banning. if you want a happy Healthy society teach them.

no one ever said that those in power were logical and we all know that the drug companies dont make money off of healthy happy people.
who has the gold
who makes the rules
why are those rules made
these things are what i think about.

Re: Hugging -- What do you think?

those in power..all they care about is power. most are dictators in disguise, whether they are aware of it or not.

*HUGS* i hugged you…now I'M A REBEL!!

Re: Hugging -- What do you think?

I'm with you, One. I think human bodies have needs for non-sexual intimacy and touch that really can't be ignored, and that doing so is the equivalent of depleting the body of certain nutrients. And I love what you observed about the relationship between antidepressant use and lack of physical contact; that makes such sense to me.

Maybe massage should be a part of physical education. :)

Re: Hugging -- What do you think?

I'm going to agree with assertiveness (and, i suppose, appropriateness) training.
As a teenager who hugs in the hallways, the thought of hugging being banned at my school is… strange to say the least.

For one thing, the hallways at my (preschool converted into a high) school would be a lot less crowded if everyone hugged instead of standing in big circles talking.

But, more importantly, banning hugs at school doesn't prevent sexual harassment from happening outside of school.  I don't think banning hugs would have prevented my friend from being raped.  Appropriateness training might have, at least somewhat, prevented the guy from doing it.  (Though teaching guys not to rape over girls not to be raped is a topic for another day).

In a somewhat lighter, but still serious sense, however, is my reason for liking the idea of assertiveness training.  I have a dear, dear guy friend who doesn't consider me a friend anymore.  His reason?  He became uncomfortable with the amount of physical contact in the relationship (for it being only friendship and not dating).  I understand this fine, and am totally willing to cut back.  However, his uncomfortability began a long time ago, and he never told me until I dragged out the reason he was becoming distant.  He said he felt like I was in it just for the physical (a descriptions which everyone who knows me balks at).  I'm someone who comforts people by holding their hand or putting my arm around them, and he seemed appreciative of this at the time, so I continued.

I knew a couple other girls he had put this label on, and I had always assumed he'd told them.  Yesterday, when I asked one of them if he had ever told her anything about being uncomfortable, she said no (and I do trust her).
He goes on to cuddle with other girls, who I see this happening to in the near future.

A bit of assertiveness would probably help him a great deal, and keep him from breaking the hearts of countless girls who think he's in love with him.

I love hugging, but that's what's influencing me right now.  And banning hugs at school wouldnt help him any.

Re: Hugging -- What do you think?

Hamilton: I laughed at your point. How can hugging clog hallways? Doesn't it mean people are more closely packed in? ;) And yes, I completely agree–to my mind banning hugs would just push the issue of truly inappropriate touch elsewhere.

Thank you, too, for that personal story. It goes so well with what I believe in general about laws and regulations; that is, that relying on systems and rules instead of personal strength and boundaries can contribute to even greater dependency and confusion. Certainly there are times when laws are necessary, but for hugs? Really? It seems outrageous. Why not just support and encourage children to be clear about their own personal boundaries?

Re: Hugging -- What do you think?

What can I say: I agree with everyone here… Everybody needs a hug. Especially teenagers go through difficult emotional times. I can't think of a time in my life where I needed hugs more than my teenage years.
Banning hugs makes hugs an ugly thing. Where mostly hugs are not even sexual. Not that there is anything wrong with sexuality. Of course sexual harassment  is another story! But still hugs do not fit that bracket; to me anyway.
Maybe I am just a tree hugger ;)

Re: Hugging -- What do you think?

When you are sad, happy, lonely, excited, etc…what do you want most? If you're anything like me, you want a hug. I still find the contradictory ego so fascinating (although I am aware that this fascination will likely turn to boredom very quickly). Scientific studies have proven the healing and calming energy of touch. And yet, we have now found a way to make that bad. This is yet another example of how fear has imprisoned our society. If the schools weren't afraid of a lawsuit, this issue would have been unlikely to come up. We must all do our part in transcending the fear that is devoted only to destruction. (God, can you imagine growing up without hugs? That's just creepy…)

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX (That's my big hug for you!)

Re: Hugging -- What do you think?

i definitly agree that hugging shouldnt be banned, but i get annoyed bumping into hugging people in the hallways! so although i think a three second rule is kind of tight, i think its good they have something in place. personally i dont hug people much at the moment, im not a very social person, but even when i used to hug people all the time, it still annoyed me. i also agree that it gives the government power, but the government have power over us anyway. one week we were told we had to have clip on ties by the next monday or we'd be suspended. i'd prefer a hugging ban anyday. then i also huess theres a big difference in personal opinion. im definitly far from normal and kinda see the point of hugging being needless, but the next person might say that they love hugging and couldnt live with out it.
thats to say, not many people are late because of hugging. normally people are late because they cant get out of bed or went for a smoke between class! i guess in this one we'd have to see weather the risk of psycological damage out weighs the annoying hall way clogging! i know which i'd choose, but i cant talk for govenors or anyone else! 

Re: Hugging -- What do you think?

0_0

Wow… what moron came up with that rule? You do realize that we as humans need physical contact, don't you?

Idiots. No seriously. Baning hugging is only going to help the violence. They'll understand this when someone goes crazy next time, takes out a gun and decides that his/her teachers weren't nice enough to him and then things go BANG BANG BANG…

^_^;

On a lighter note, hugging is good for the body. It actually helps release some endorphins that make you happy and lighte hearted. That's why when you hug someone, sou sort-of lighten their load.

Banning hugging = idiotic move. That's what I'm syaing. Maybe someone aught to give the person who banned hugging a hug.

<3

Just a though. LOL.

Re: Hugging -- What do you think?

I agree with shineyedward, when I was in high school/ junior high girls were always hugging and clogging the hallways. It still annoys me when people run into someone they haven't seen in 35 minutes and become overenthused and hug constantly. I'm not very big on physical contact myself and am awkward about such things, but I am not going to deny how much a good bear-hug helps when it is needed. I do agree that physical contact is necessary for nurturance and mental wellness, but maybe the school has had too many sexual harassment cases and are simply trying to avoid it the only way they know how. Nonetheless, the rule does sound pretty dumb, but it's important to at least try to see the other sides point too.

Re: Hugging -- What do you think?

I am not a big hugger myself–odd, since my mother is from Portugal!–but I can't imagine telling kids not to hug. When you flunked a test that you thought you'd do well on? You need a hug! When you didn't get into that college you wanted to go to? You need a hug! Trouble at home? You need a hug! There is a difference between appropriate and inappropriate touching, and banning all or nearly all touching will not teach that. Jessica brings up a good point, though, that the school may have been overwhelmed with sexual harrassment cases. But other than as an emergency procedure, I see banning hugs as rather shortsighted. In the workplace, people need to know what is apropriate and what is not. Why not teach this before reaching the workplace at all? I can't imagine a company telling employees that hugging was banned from the premises unless there was a rash of sexual harassment charges.

Re: Hugging -- What do you think?

Hugging feeds the soul.  We need human contact. Besides, I love to give not just hugs, but extended hug-holding where you can feel the love energy being exchanged between each other.  Most people are afraid of hugging for too long, and if the other person is uncomfortable, they will usually pull away.  But, most don't. It feel really good, in a non-sexual way.

Re: Hugging -- What do you think?

Maybe I should send hugs to everyone I care about, but cannot touch. Yes, let us do that.

Re: Hugging -- What do you think?

I was at an introduction to reik talk some years ago at the local college, the speaker was telling us all about her “journey” to discovering reiki, I felt like hugging her there and then, my heart was going out to her and I felt so much compassion…  my energy arms seemed to grow and extend onto the stage and I gave her a sorta long distance hug!
Tai

Re: Hugging -- What do you think?

The source writer needs a hug.
Check out Amma our hugging saint.

Re: Hugging -- What do you think?

I think we need to remind each other to hug more, not less!

Re: Hugging -- What do you think?

I think hugging is great (true)
I love to hug young boys (well…)
I love to hug young girls (ok, but…)
There are many people I want to hug (this is getting creepy…)

Ok, so, nobody here has ever been molested?

ban hugs? NO
but seriously
There are people
Who deserve to be hugged to death, (just kidding…)
because they have turned a loving touch into a horror.

Re: Hugging -- What do you think?

I agree. Hugging is one thing we can't do without. Hugs make you feel better. No matter what you feel like hugs put a smile on your face. Even if they do ban hugging we're just gonna do it more because they said no.

Bottom line…banning hugging would be the most retarded thing the government has ever done

Re: Hugging -- What do you think?

Hugging is definitely one of my favorite things in the whole world.  I sometimes greet with a handshake, but only if the other person shows signs of preferring that over a hug.  Otherwise, it's all hugs with me :)

Re: Hugging -- What do you think?

This thread reminds me of an awesome poem from 'Where the Side Walk Ends':

Hug O' War

a poem by the late Shel Silverstein [Author of A Light in the Attic]

I will not play at tug o' war
I'd rather play at hug o' war,
Where everyone hugs
Instead of tugs
Where everyone giggles
And rolls on the rug,
Where everyone kisses
And everyone grins
And everyone cuddles
And everyone wins.

Re: Hugging -- What do you think?

It's also important for people to be aware of whether or not the other person wants to be  hugged. Appropriate behavior and timing is something that we need to learn.

Re: Hugging -- What do you think?

H1N1 ===> How to protect yourself and other

Advice #4  Avoid hugging, kissing and shaking hands when greeting anyone.

Source : The Times of India, Kolkata, Saturday August 8, 2009, Page #2

Re: Hugging -- What do you think?

lol!! Living in Miami where hugging is the norm each time you meet or leave someone; it takes time to get used to greeting relatives and friends in India, whom we've NOT met for ages, without a hug!!!

No wonder Amma's hugs are so desirable!

Re: Hugging -- What do you think?

Did you all know that hugging heals tears?  It's true!


How to Hug


Hugging may sound like the simplest thing on earth, but it will help to keep a few things in mind. Non-hugs are no good.


I. The A-frame hug, in which nothing but the huggers’ heads touch.


2. The half-hug, where the huggers’ upper bodies touch—while the other half twists away.


3. The chest-to-chest burp, in which the huggers pat each other on the back, defusing the physical contact by treating each other like infants being burped.


4. The wallet-rub, in which two people stand side-by-side and touch hips.


5. The jock-twirl, in which the hugger, who is stronger or bigger, lifts the other person off the ground and twirls him.


6. The violating hug, in which one hugger grinds into the genital area of the other and tries fondling their behind. With non-intimate people this is classified as violating, abusive and a sexual harassment.


The real thing, the full body hug, touches all the bases. The two people coming together take time to really look at each other. There is no evasion or ignoring that they are about to hug… You try as hard as you can to personalize and customize each hug you give… With a full body hug there is a sense of complete giving and fearless. Communication, one uncomplicated by words.


It is the attitude that is important. It need not be a full, frontal hug. It could be sideways.


Important:  Politely ask, “Would you like a hug?” Rushing up to someone assuming they would want a hug is disrespectful.


It’s ok to say no to a hug; and do not feel offended if someone says ‘no’ to you!
Many people do not like their personal space to be invaded. Still others may feel too vulnerable at times to like to be touched.


Many people feel embarrassed or uncomfortable when hugged, but still give it a try, because they are bound to feel good afterwards and may even feel grateful to you. When you feel the need to be hugged, ask for one.And don’t forget to thank the other, just be respectful and honoring to each other.It only takes a hug, a heartfelt and warm embrace, to change the lives of others. 
Try it, it works.…. And smile while you do it,

Re: Hugging -- What do you think?

love it ~KES!!
Thanks for breaking it down so well. :) Here's `n big one for you: (((((HUG)))))

Re: Hugging -- What do you think?

We are touch by that we are touching