Cafe Discussions: This Modern Life

Hello Beautiful Gaians,

I've been thinking, life can be very hectic these days. People go to work, juggle relationships, go to school, sit in traffic, raise children, work on projects and many other things. We have to strive to create community and support structures as families and neighborhoods are more distant and isolated. So, what do you think…

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I believe both; we would not have this website, if not for “modernity.”
We do need to distress; a lot of Gaians have methods. I am still struggling with relaxing, but I try. I worry too much that things will not get done on time!
You lovely people help me appreciate the important things in life.

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Cindy: I agree. I think modern life has in many ways allowed for the potential of greater relaxation, as few of us on this site need to worry about, say, where our next meal is coming from, or where to sleep tonight. Still, I think that our society has also instilled a deep insecurity or sense of anxiety and unease that leaves people chronically stressed and worried. It's both. It's both, but this means, at least, we do get to choose.

Thank you for being one of the lovely people, too. :)

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I find myself saddened in a way by the technology that allows us to communicate without actually coming into contact with another human being.  If someone's eyes are truly the windows to their soul, we don't really connect as deeply as we might when we call, e-mail, blog, text, and Twitter.  We talk AT each other, not TO each other most of the time.  One would think that with all our gadgets and gizmos allowing us to be in nearly continous contact, that no one would ever be lonely, lost, worried, fearful, or friendless.  Instead, we have allowed ourselves and our technology to make most of the contact we do have superficial, artificial, even kind of sterile.

Do we look in each other's eyes when we pass on the street?  Do we enjoy each other's faces?  Do we seek those soul windows that make human contact meaningful?  I think we could change the world if we just got off our damn phones and actually talked to each other once in awhile.  Couldn't get much simpler than that.

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Lee: You can always post Gatherings here.

And I just wanted to share my experience about news and news fasts. I've never owned a television, so had no habit there to kick, but I used to be a rabid newspaper / newsmagazine reader. Over the past few years, though, I've drastically cut back: I reasoned that if anything really, really crucial happened, I'd learn about it through my friends or family or just by being online.

It's made such a difference to my happiness and centeredness and sense of place and connection. It's made me rely on the 'news' of my immediate environment–the sound of the wind in the trees and the squalls of two fighting tomcats and the music of cars and children playing. And that news is news I find valuable.

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Mamakat: I'm so torn by this! On the one hand, yes, my animal body aches with the rightness of what you wrote. I have a physical self that needs tangible human contact, even if it's merely the brush of an actual, unmediated gaze. On the other, I've lost count of how many in-person conversations over coffee my online connections have lead to–I've met literally hundreds of people in real life as a result of relating first online, and the depth and intimacy that an online connection can result in (where we can't make such judgments about looks or age or gender or income) is sometimes wonderful. It cuts both ways, I think.

That said, I'm long overdue for a tech-break. ;)

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Modern life is synonymous to speed, quick changes and fast living.
How can you have stillness and peaceful silence in dynamic movement?

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Eli: How can you have stillness and peaceful silence in dynamic movement?

I think the question is rather, how can you not? I can't help but feel that all life arises in–or all life consists in–dynamic balance. And the more extreme the movement, the deeper the (potential) stillness.

Maybe.

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Siona, “the reverse side also has a reverse side”  :)

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Eli: “the reverse side also has a reverse side”

Yes! And if something isn't a paradox, it can't be true, because obviously it's left out the opposite side. I enjoy running in circles with you…

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By being grounded.

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Siona - Now I see why you are such an insightful writer.  We haven't met but I see you in my mind's eye and feel things wouldn't be that different when we meet up.  Could that event's link be in a newsletter?  I would love all to start posting when they travel to LA as an example… even if its at a local coffee house.  I agree about the news of nature.  It speaks softly to all and helps us breath.  When I am on line too much I need that tech break too and connect with friends.  I see what you mean MamaKat.  I haven't yet met many from Gaia but did notice the writing made things amazing in person.  There is nothing like reality that you can touch rather than just read.  More and more writing handles less and when we could see in person from one sentence may take a few paragraphs here.

Eli, you are so right… we need some alone time too.  I feel I know you from your picture… funny how some pictures make one feel as though we've met.

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It is funny… when I read an e mail from any of you I get a different flow… closer.  Here we are talking in public and there are a different set of manners in writing.  The t's are crossed and i's dotted more.

At lease we can find each other and make friends and if we want we can some day meet up.  I am not here to meet but if it happens naturally, I am fine with that… no last minute though because of my crazy work schedule.

So like everything on this site, balance is key on how we spend time here.

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Lee: Oh, thank you; I love writing more than almost anything in the world. I'm glad it shows. And yes, one day I'm sure we will. We'll be picking the first batch from our community garden this week and I'll be thinking of you as I listen to the news from those tomatoes, and what they have to say about the state of the world. :)

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Meenakshi: You are the master of appreciative inquiry; I love how you've reworked the question to be one of solution and connection and enjoinment. I'll be thinking about this today.

(On a related note, I was taking recently to someone about the cultivation of empathy online–about learning how to connect and be compassionate even in the absence of more obvious physical cues. Perhaps there are gifts to come here, too.)

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Sometimes i feel like the butter in a sandwhich, the needs of our parents above me and children and grandchildren below, I spread myself between them like a lubrication. LOL Busier than ever in retirement. Like Lee the animals and garden relaxes me, and the grandchildren like it too.

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We need money. We cannot survive without money. So we are running after money. There is no time to relax. We fear that if we try to relax, the money will run away from us. There are lot of kinds of worries. So many problems to solve. so life is like that.

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Yes, i agree life does seem to be hectic, sometimes us not knowing how stressed we are till an opportunity to unwind presents. It might be that we have more “down time” now than when we were living in rural agrarian situations, as majority of populations have only been aboding in cities for a relatively short time of 150 years or so. We are so specialised now. Achieving professions for occupation with a view to achieving sustainable afluence then stepping onto the treadmill.

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It's like we have to balance money and love…we need to earn money…we need to feel and show love.  When we are loving our lives they flow more and opportunities come to enable us to live a natural life style..  This either happens with the gift of money or commodities…the big thing here is trust, we have to trust the flow of our lives absolutely.  The flow of love and trust give us energy to drive the motor of life..
Acknowledging the flow of life and love
Tai

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Tai, this morning I seem to be following you around! Love that!

Seeing the posts above, a thought comes to mind: perhaps those of us who can regularly connect to earth, are better able to stay in the balance we need. Think of the generations of people who have LIVED in a way that we in cities with overloaded refrigerators think is poor or wanting or whom we describe by not having. We don't see what they do have, and I sometimes marvel at the ability of human beings to survive what seem to be conditions of extreme deprivation….We obviously need more than money and what it buys, to survive.

Of course, this modern life, is the city life, the one that was built for a better quality of life, and in many ways has provided that. But it's also made us reliant on puffs of air rather than solid ground and that IS stressful.

Sanmugan, I'm laughing and nodding to your description of us chasing money. I've found that people actually feel that if they don't worry, they are not being responsible or realistic. I'm often accused of being unrealistic because it hasn't made any sense to me, to give importance to making money. [But I'm learning!]

Perhaps we are stressed, Jessica, because it seems to suggest to us that we are being responsible?
[and thank you Siona, for your kind words]

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Life has gotten too busy. With technology it would seem life would have gotten less busy, but that has not happen. It just seems like I'm always busy and if I'm not my friends are busy.

Keeping in touch by email or a social network is convenient, but I rather meet face to face. It just seems like people hide behind their computers.