Quite Contrary, How's does your garden grow?

So I've been on Gaia for almost a year now.

I've always been absolutely in love with the way people are on this site. All of them brimming with beauty and love,
But I have to ask:

When does all this light because a bit superficial?

I realize that Gaia is about spiritual growth and finding yourself, but if I've learned anything on this journey I'm on it's this,
Shit happens.

I feel like when bad things happen (as they tend to do with any group of people trying to make a community togather) it just kind of gets ignored.

I personally feel that if you aren't feeling the love that you can't say anything on this site with out getting attacked with LET THE LIGHT IN, LET THE LIGHT IN or just being ignored.

Does that make any kind of sense?

Sometimes I feel like this place is a utopian society in the making. Ignoring the not so illuminated and holding some members above others because their just so darn full of light.

Or are they?

I've encountered a few people on this site who claim to be 'enlightened' or don't even make a claim at it, they just go off spouting out ideas that they think every person should know.

And of course everyone has their own opinions on life, but where does knowledge end and ego begin?

It's just something that I've been wondering about.

I've been kind of keeping my distance on gaia lately for these very reasons.

I feel terrible for abandoing my duties as a moderator, cultivator and ambassador because on the whole I love every member of this online community.

I just feel like I've been slighted.

Much l

Re: Quite Contrary, How's does your garden grow?

Hi Ashley,
I feel a bit out of place here in Gaia young adults because I stopped being young a few years ago. ..well make that about .. … mumble. …muffle… years ago…but I wanted to respond to your comments because I hate to feel you think you've been slighted and there I go, being all Pollyannaish already, nice, nice, ga…anyway 

what I really hate is having to join a group everytime I want to answer a comment so here I am joining young Gaia when I should be in an over 50s group.

And you're right ..Life isnt all sweetness and light all the time.
and I want you to know that I respect your experience of the way things are. I didnt want to ignore you because I think you are really awesome and  creative and that is what I see in the Gaians I usually talk to. The creativity is what draws me to Gaia. I'm learning so much about things like photography and I can write poetry when I feel the urge and get feedback and see how others do it and get inspired by them. People like Tharlam really inspire me to achieve writing at a higher level. I also feel that doing these things helps me cope with the tough stuff in my life. I find poetry lets out the trauma.

The love light and perfection can get a bit overwhelming at times especially when you either work or live in places where you are constantly confronted with difficult stuff. Thats me. This past week I have been a bit quieter on Gaia because work has been overwhelmingly painful in a real sense. Some of my clients have had really traumatic lives and this past week has had them all coming in and breaking down in tears and just letting it all out. For me there is a bit of vicarious trauma when this happens and like you I can feel irritated when I am expected to be all love and light.

I feel we have to respect and give time and space to the tough times in life. Maybe some people feel they are beyond feeling these things and maybe they just have big scars over their pain to deaden it. Who knows? Maybe your role here is to be the reminder that real life is around the corner at any given moment. And there is a unique kind of beauty in the mundane and the painful. I have so much admiration for the people I see who are coming to terms with their pain. I dont want to be oblivious to it. I sometimes cry with them. At times I believe it would be disrespectful of me to sit there with a wooden face. At other times you just know that crying too would be an extra burden to them. You have to be in tune or intuitive enough to get it right.

Life is so complex and bringing it down to “just breath light”is not respecting the reality of peoples lives.

We can work through it all and maybe show others that its safe and ok to live through the hard stuff. Maybe thats a role we have here.????

Re: Quite Contrary, How's does your garden grow?

Ashley, apologies for joining, I will leave you be as soon as you like as I've much too old to be here, but like Jenny, I just had to respond to this and joining is the only way we can.

You're asking the important questions that others have been asking lately too. There have been discussions all over Gaia about things like - why are there ex-Gaians over on Facebook who have stuff to work through concerning Gaia? How do we best deal with conflict and shadow issues? And so on, in discussion groups as well as blogs.

There is even a new group dedicating to tackling the heavy stuff head-on - Fully Engaged in The Games of Life 


I've seen a number of people there who are not willing to be in any “love and light” groups making themselves at home and opening up about the things that trouble them.


I have been seriously analysing the active groups on Gaia lately, and one thing I noticed, there are a surprising number of what I call “depth” groups, that is, groups that are not shying away from the tough issues. Some of them have a very intellectual and specific bent (like the Integral groups) which is a turn off to some, but others are more open-ended, in their own ways 


For example: Dark Night of the Soul 
Deep Ecology: Reclaiming our Sanity in a Crazy World 

DIVING DEEPER: A Writing Workshop 

God Pod or Life, the Universe and Everything 

Living Metaphysics

Passing 

Robert Augustus Masters 
Sacred Walk 

Surviving Souls & Better Bodies & Healing Humans 

Walking the Labyrinth 



This is not an exhaustive list of active groups like this, but it gives you an idea of how many places on Gaia are open to peering into dark places.


Sometimes people look at the discussions on a group (like the God Pod) and assume that because they often are centred on the positive, we can't get into heavy things. But we can and do.


I hope this helps.


Love,


Nicole

Re: Quite Contrary, How's does your garden grow?

Ash,

I admit that at times, I have a hard time facing darkness myself.  In battling my own inner demons, I've learned the more negativity you throw at them, pick at them, the more frightening and/or painful they become.  As I told Flowerchild on another pod, when discussing some of the darker issues that I've been facing:

“For instance…  the more withdrawn and worrying about disturbing/hurting
other people I get…  the more everything seems like something that
could possibly hurt/disturb others…  and the more even normal things
start hurting/disturbing me…”

I think there are a lot of very delicate, very sensitive people on this site, so I'd suppose that oftentimes they fear the dark as something that threatens to dredge up things they feel they are running from.  Or as something that is out to hurt them.  I am also guilty of spouting off ideas that have helped me on my own journey as well as this at times and I know it is reckless.  I've been trying to learn how to stay quiet, even while inwardly excited as well.  I don't think it's so much superficiality, as an addiction to joy and people can act rashly by being too enthusiastic as well as too pessimistic.

Not everyone responds well under pressure though and I hope you forgive, at least in my case, my lack of calm judgement in a stressful situation.  I admit I can be a tad bit spoiled at times.  Either way, I feel I need to learn how to be a listener again and that is where my path is taking me.  I wish you guys much luck on finding a new moderator, as while I am glad to be back here, don't feel I am qualified or have time for the task.

-Hugs and blessings,

Kyle

Re: Quite Contrary, How's does your garden grow?

I hope as well we find a moderator who does have the time, and the qualifications to be apart of the team.

I'm glad you feel at home again in GYA.

Re: Quite Contrary, How's does your garden grow?

Hi Ashley & readers,  First I want to congratulate you on your first year.  Its fine to take a breather and step back from time to time to come back fresh in a new unit of time.  I suggest putting out a mailer to the group and asking who would want to be a mod.  Being a mod is the most rewarding post and I highly recommend it as a good experience in helping many.  If we get what we put out attention on, I personally recommend not rewarding those that leave or add toxin rather than those that look for solutions.

The glass can be half full or half empty and I prefer to be one that works hard to fill up life with light.  

On the demographics of Gaia, they advertise in different places now which pulls in people from around the world that are reaching for any form of lightness and spirituality but because of the volume of new members and not qualifying them like we used to do when we had to apply to be here, we do get some trolls from time to time.  I say spot and locate them and ignore and/or report to the Gaia Team if they aren't playing the game the majority of us joined to play.

~Matthew just visited me from the team and I know those of us that are making this site go right will win in the end.  If we put in our successful actions once more that will help expand your group.  More communication always handles less.  Power is being willing to hold your position in space on doing what you are doing.  You are power and don't let others knock you off that position.  That is their weakness …trying to bring others down to their size.  Splurge on creating this site back to where we want to have it.  If someone needs facebook fine… it's a business site and is there for networking business.  This is where your real friends that want to promote good change and talk about it are at.

From a viewpoint of integrity, 

Personal integrity is knowing what you know–
What you know is what you know–
And to have the courage to know and say what you have observed.
it can't be enforced.

And that is integrity.
And there is no other integrity.
Of course we can talk about honor, truth, all these things,
These esoteric terms.

But I think they’d all be covered very well
If what we really observed was what we observed,
That we took care to observe what we were observing,
That we always observed to observe.

And not necessarily maintaining a skeptical attitude,
A critical attitude, or an open mind.

But certainly maintaining sufficient personal integrity
And sufficient personal belief and confidence in self
And courage that we can observe what we observe
And say what we have observed.

Nothing in Gaia or any of its groups is true for you
Unless you have observed it
And it is true according to your observation.
That is all.

You have been doing a great job as cultivator and mod and ambassador to this site and set a stellar example.  Thanks for all you have done.
Namasté, Kathy