Gay Male Identity: An Separate Identity Or an Identity at All?

When we say the word gay a number of definitions and connotations come to mind. The first is usually same-sex lover. This is the official definition of “gay”. This is the only thing that may distinguish us from “straight” people.

Though many gay people feel there is more that distinguishes them from straight people, and that being gay is an entire identity separate from “straight” people which make up the majority. I am the first to say that many gay people I know seem to be more creative, seem to be more appreciative or influenced by the “beauty” aesthetic and style (But why may be another conversation). They seem to be more “unique”.

Today though it seems that being gay has become an identity. It is defined in “Gay Magazines” and at “Gay Pride Events”. Though there are just as many same-sex loving people who do not fit the typical definitions or image set by magazines, and events.

I think typically what comes to mind today in today's society gay means someone who is stylish, sometimes flamboyant (at least how many straight people think of gay men), possibly talented, trendy, etc.

Though in times past it seems (Greece and Rome) gay men at least might have actually been associated with masculinity or hyper-masculinity often what we call straight. Though some gay people do associate gay with hyper-masculinie, and some cultures possibly.

So is being gay this separate identity? Is how gay defined today just a trend or are gay people naturally more unique and set apart?

Re: Gay Male Identity: An Separate Identity Or an Identity at All

Hope did not offend anyone, just thought of a good topic.

Re: Gay Male Identity: An Separate Identity Or an Identity at All

Re: Gay Male Identity: An Separate Identity Or an Identity at All

I see in many cases, as you have cited, Advait, that the “mainstream” gay culture has started to identify itself with its own unique characteristics. And, that’s certainly not a bad thing. In fact, I think it may likely have come about because gay people, on the whole, were trying to create their own “niche” in society, while at the same time being forthright with the fact that they were “out and proud” to be who they are. This is all wonderful! Gay people who were (and are) out and proud have literally created a gay community that continues to blossom and grow, and that’s certainly something to be proud of.

However, I don’t think there are any individual personality traits or characteristics that can be solely assigned to those who are homosexual. I know many men who consider themselves “straight” who encompass many of the “stereotypical” gay traits. And, I know many gay men who encompass what are usually considered to be “stereotypical” straight traits.

Bottom line – it doesn’t matter. I don’t believe sexuality – whether it’s hetero or homo – is an identity. It’s simply the gift of who we choose to love and with whom we choose to express that love in a physical way while we’re here in this physical reality. It’s only society and the current “norms” and prejudices and characteristics of society that seem to need to define communities and create labels – but in the end those can have the effect of actually separating us from each other, when what we really want is to all be ‘one,’ to be one community that loves and appreciates everyone within that community for his/her uniqueness and individual forms of expression.

I believe that our true non-physical selves have no gender or sexual identity. So, who we really are has nothing to do with “masculine” or “feminine,” “gay” or “straight” or “bi,” or any other label. We are just pure, positive, source energy … here in this time-space-reality to express and evolve and enjoy and expand. That’s energy in motion! Or, e-motion… I choose to do it in the e-motion called JOY!

:)

Re: Gay Male Identity: An Separate Identity Or an Identity at All

Well said, Pieter!  I agree wholeheartedly!

xo
dale

Re: Gay Male Identity: An Separate Identity Or an Identity at All

Well said, Pieter!  I agree wholeheartedly!

xo
dale

Re: Gay Male Identity: An Separate Identity Or an Identity at All

Once again, it is a large part of our society to place labels in order make everything cut-and-dried.  We love to categorize.  Sadly, it comes down to the connotation of the word instead of the denotation, thereby that causes confusion.

In trying to identify ourselves, perhaps we categorize ourselves at the same time.  Strength in numbers, you know. 

Re: Gay Male Identity: An Separate Identity Or an Identity at All

I tend to agree with Pieter (hope I got the name right) . I grew up in rural Ireland with no gay role modles nor stereotypes, I'm glad kids today have some sort of role-modle (indeed the more the merrier-the gayer?)