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Would You Marry? Is marriage a good institution? In California...

Advait said May 16, 2008, 1:18 AM:

In light of the California Supreme Court ruling on gay marriage there…

Marriage to me always was best for those who had children, or who had a family. Not because I do not think that we should be able to marry, but because I feel that marriage often times fails. Look at the divorce rate of heterosexual marriages. Though they fail often because the couple married for the wrong reasons.

Would you get married? I am still not sure, but I am a relationship oriented person so I would personally say yes if the right person came along.

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Re: Would You Marry? Is marriage a good institution? In Californi

Nohealani said Jun 5, 2008, 12:53 PM:

Aloha All,
I agree with you Advait that there has definately been an increase with divorce rates in our time, but I don't think the problem is in the wedding vows, but more so in the views of those getting married and it doesn't matter if they're gay, str8, or tri-sexual.

I don't think today's society takes marriage as seriously as they should. If the marriage isn't working divorce is always too easily an option. Matters of the heart are definately unforseeable, but I believe that a person truly knows as they're standing there about to say “I do” wether or not their hearts are truly into it!
I've been engaged twice, and knew at some point that I was making the wrong decision.
That I find is the easy part… it's the unknown of what will happen if I say i've changed my mind that freaks alot of people out. Being viewed as the bad person or hurting someone that you do love, but are not “in love” with is the scary parts.

         Would I marry… i'd like to think so, but I have extremely high standards when marriage is concerned! It's one of those things that I plan on doing only once in my life, and I do believe that ALL people should have the freedom to express their love through marriage- Love is Love!!!
                                                                                                       Namaste~ Nohealani

Re: Would You Marry? Is marriage a good institution? In Californi

Athos said Jul 1, 2008, 6:33 AM:

I would have to say yes. While many of us are already “married” spiritually and morally, there are legal aspects to consider.

Re: Would You Marry? Is marriage a good institution? In Californi

Jeff said Jul 10, 2008, 5:50 AM:

I would marry…. is marriage really an institution? Or a loving spiritual commitment to another person.

Yes all the practical things that others have shared here, taxes, care-taking, visits in hospital, survivor benefits, etc are all great gifts to have. These are social and human rights actions not institutions, these are rights of all people.

All of this struggle to gain marriage rights has taken our attention away from who and what gay people are… I use gay people as all inclusive, maybe I should use queer… anyway.

Our being gay sets us aside from the rest, our gayness is our gift to the world, our spirit is many gendered, and all gendered…

We have sold our gayness to corporate America, we have given our Pride events to banks, beer makers, insurance company's. A pride event is suppose to be a March, we are rebelling in a peaceful active way. Being ourselves, creatively, joyously while saying, we are here we are queer and we are not going away, see us, here us…

Let's march for human rights, equal rights for all humans, not just our right as gays to get married, but to assure everyone has a right to visit their sick Lover, be granted their inheritance of years/time spend together. rights to claim, their partner as their partner…

Re: Would You Marry? Is marriage a good institution? In Californi

Satya-Seer said Jul 12, 2008, 10:06 AM:

I’m not sure if I would marry, but everyone should be treated fairly and the playing field should be leveled for all. Currently on this issue we are treated separate and not equal because of the values of those who are fearful of our way of “being.” Stupid, eh?

Re: Would You Marry? Is marriage a good institution? In Californi

Merykk said Jul 15, 2008, 4:25 PM:

Well, I am married. So yes, I would. :)

I never imagined that my life would include marriage and children. In fact, I planned to grow up and become the quirky and fun aunt, possibly with many cats. When I met my husband, that changed. I saw a man that I could spend my life with, a man I could raise children with, and I was alright with that. We were deeply committed from very early on in our relationship, and legal marriage only entered into the equation for legal and financial benefits. We've been married for almost two years, and we have a beautiful daughter. It's a shame that had my mate in this life been a woman, I wouldn't have been able to legally marry her.

But, I agree with others that the spiritual and emotional commitment is more important than the legality. Often, that commitment is missing in today's marriages.

Also… It seems that today, many people don't know how to deal with the sharing of space, the sharing of responsibilities, compromising, etc. Marriage takes a lot of work. The moments we see exemplified in our culture are not real, and I think we expect sunshine, roses, and passion 24/7/365 for the rest of our lives. That's just not how marriage is. Like everything else, the relationship grows and changes as we grow and change. Two people who marry will not be the same two people in 2 year, 10 years, or 30 years. Instead of accepting the change in their spouse, reexamining the relationship and moving forward, it seems that many couples get stuck in the “this isn't what I signed up for” mentality. When in reality, it is very much what they signed up for, whether they realized it or not.

Re: Would You Marry? Is marriage a good institution? In Californi

Perfect Grace said Sep 13, 2008, 6:56 PM:

I wouldn't marry. I have been with my 'wife' for almost 12 years. We are DoMos (domestic homosexual partners) in California so we can be protected legally. However, I think the whole institution of marriage is messed up. No other legal contract is gone into without first having to have all the legal ramifications of the connection described in detail. I think that if people want to marry, they should have a spiritual union (regardless of the orientation) and then if they want to join their lives legally, that should be done through the court systems, since the divorce has to be done so. It needs to be more difficult to marry. Perhaps it should only be done if children are involved.

Re: Would You Marry? Is marriage a good institution? In Californi

Mikey_Dee said Oct 25, 2008, 3:39 AM:

This is a link on some breaking news on gay marriage in California.
please tell me what you think,

Some Lesser Known Symbols

Gender Symbols. The pointed Mars symbol represents male and the Venus symbol with the cross represents females. Mars symbolizes a warrior with an arrow and Venus symbolizes a maiden with a mirror.

peace, Mike

Re: Would You Marry? Is marriage a good institution? In Californi

Nohealani said Mar 2, 5:03 PM:

Here is another link about the civil rights movements that are happening now in Hawaii:
http://www.towleroad.com/2009/02/thousands-rally-against-civil-unions-in-hawaii.html

I always thought of my home as most people do… a paradise, and don’t get me wrong, it still is, but it was an eye-opener to see just how many people are still ignorant in their perceptions of the way they think things should be. Being born and raised here, there is a “gay” family member in 9 out of 10 families here in Hawaii, which is why I guess this rallying against civil rights came as a shock to me. In ancient Hawaiian culture to be a transexual was to be a divine entity or they were once recognized as being viewed a demi-God having both masculine and feminine qualities. I guess i’m saddened and surprised at how infectious ignorance can be, but we are continuing the efforts in Hawaii to take this all the way in hopes that it will be at least a stepping stone for the future.