embracing our purple...

at a gay retreat i was at last weekend, there was a guy who talked about how he was told in interior design class not to use so much purple or people might think he was 'you know, that way'. we giggled, and then he said, 'while it sounds funny. what is sad is that i listened. i stopped using purple in my design and i stopped wearing it.' he cried and we cried along with him. he had brought a large purple candle, ironically the only purple candle he could find, to place on our altar for the retreat as a symbol of him embracing his purple once again.

the facilitator commented on how that is the theme that seems to come up over and over in gay healing circles is the denial of our color. the shaming of our joyful expression and vibrancy. gay people themselves berate the flamers at times and/or are disturbed by them. is this in fact our nature at our core? how many of us had to learn different acts or ways of controlling our expressions to have them be less wild? less disturbing to others? how much as individuals and collectively do we rain ourselves in? what is the cost to ourselves and our communities for such things?

following is a link for a soccer ref who seems to have all his color in tact. consider that as you watch.  notice if you yourself may cringe at his expression. why do so many cringe at such bold expressions or such boldly 'gay' expressions?

http://youtube.com/watch?v=OyXxq353QA4