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I am not specifically buddhist, nor have I recent experience of dealing with a hate crime consciously, but your description of anger and suspicion arising sound personally familiar in dealing with other challenges that have surfaced for me.
I'm sure you've heard much of this before, but I find observing the breath and sensations that are arising in the body when I am noticing anger and fear coming up to be the most helpful. Consciously reconnecting and become a careful observer, finding choices in the space that the breath creates. Generally a bit of insight or clarity follows rather soon, and I haven't continued toward acting out the anger or running away from the fear in an unconscious manner.
Love to you and your friend.
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