a wise shiva old friend sent me this. :-)

Men Are Just Happier People–


What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name
stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of
themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can be President. You
can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You
can wear NO shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell you the truth.

The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas
station restroom because this one is just too icky. You don't have to
stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more
pay. Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress~$5000. Tux rental~$100.
People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them. The
occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected. New shoes don't
cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood all the time. Phone
conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks.

A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all
your own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of
thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be
your friend. Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of
shoes are more than enough. You almost never have strap problems in
public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.

Everything on your face stays its original color. The same
hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have to shave your
face and neck. You can play with toys all your life. Your belly usually
hides your big hips. One wallet and one pair of shoes one color for all
seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can “do”
your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning
growing a mustache. You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on
December 24 in 25 minutes.

No wonder men are happier. Send this to the women who can handle
it and to the men who will enjoy reading it.

Re: a wise shiva old friend sent me this. :-)

: )  So true.  Men have it better but I wouldn't change my gender for anyone. 

Re: a wise shiva old friend sent me this. :-)

Second you on that one goddess. I don't think I could deal with all that hair everywhere, for starters.

Re: a wise shiva old friend sent me this. :-)

Funny, funny stuff! But were it not for ye goddesses, the world would have never come to where it is now–men are too simple creatures.

16 THINGS THAT IT TOOK ME OVER 50 YEARS TO LEARN:

16 THINGS THAT IT TOOK ME OVER 50 YEARS TO LEARN:
by Dave Barry, Nationally Syndicated Columnist

1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
2. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved and never will achieve its full potential, that word would be “meetings.”
3. There is a very fine line between “hobby” and “mental illness.”
4. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.
5. You should not confuse your career with your life.
6. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.
7. Never lick a steak knife.
8. The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.
9. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.
10. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.
11. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age eleven.
12. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers.
13. A person who is nice to you but rude to a waiter is not a nice person. (This is very important. Pay attention. It never fails.)
14. Your friends love you anyway.
15. Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.
16. Men are like fine wine. They start out as grapes, and it's up to the women to stomp the crap out of them until they turn nto something acceptable to have dinner with.

Married Couple

Just received this from an friend in England. Gave me a chuckle, and reminded me that I need to be careful what I wish for…..


>              A married couple in their early 60s was out celebrating
>their
>             35th wedding anniversary in a quiet, romantic little
>             restaurant. Suddenly, a tiny yet beautiful fairy appeared on
>             their table and said, “For being such an exemplary married
>             couple and for being faithful to each other for all this
>time,
>             I will grant you each a wish.”Oh, I want to travel around
>the
>             world with my darling husband” said the wife. The fairy
>waved
>             her magic wand and poof! - two tickets for the Queen Mary II
>             luxury liner appeared in her hands.Then it was the husband's
>             turn. He thought for a moment and said: “Well, this is all
>very
>             romantic, but an opportunity like this will never come
>again.
>             I'm sorry my love, but my wish is to have a wife 30 years
>             younger than me.”Both the wife and the fairy were deeply
>             disappointed, but a wish is a wish. So the fairy waved her
>             magic wand and - poof! - the husband became 92 years old.
>
>             the moral of the story:
>             Men who are ungrateful should remember that fairies
>             are female.
>

Re: Married Couple

I LOVE this one!
LOL
I will be sharing this with my partner when he returns home from work… he's already 20 years older than me….he's sure to get a chuckle out of it as well.
Thank you!

Re: Married Couple

Nishtha, g’day,

I was taking some time in the Garden and noticed that you mention that there is a distance of twenty physical years between you and your Beloved.

Maybe you could find the time to share your story with us. I know I would love to listen.

Namaste with hugs….