best ways to die -- and, um, the not-so-best.

Lighten up, it's only death…. :-)

what are your top 5 best ways to die?
what are your top 5 worst ways to die?


——————-
my rather silly and sometimes irreverent responses:

THE MOST AWESOMEST WAYS TO LEAVE THIS PLANE OF EXISTENCE:

5. writing the world's most profound blog, then hitting send, spilling my coffee over the computer and getting electrocuted. the story is so great that people everywhere flock to read The Blog That Meant More Than Life Itself.

4. having a massive heart attack while doing a one-time organ-playing gig at a mormon church. preferrably, i would collapse on the keys as the sacrament is being passed out, and my body would just hold that magnificent, awful chord until someone would have the audacity to get up from their sacred silence and call 911

3. hunted and killed by a CEO for exposing a serious corporate crime in a magazine feature article
2. shot in the head by jon stewart's wife, in a fit of jealousy

1. from old age, with plenty of warning for my family, and after 85 years of extraordinary accomplishment, with so much money that my heirs could live off of interest alone

THE MOST EMBARRASSING AND HORRIBLE WAYS TO KICK THE BUCKET:
5. a blind hillbilly, red-hot for revenge from a family feud, mistakes me for someone else and chops away at me with a hatchet, screaming hillbilly profanities. i saw the movie deliverance, that's all i needed to see.

4. contracting a fatal disease for not changing underwear in 10 months (not that i don't change my underwear, but how would your family explain THAT?)

3. in a house fire, when everyone is safe outside and i run back in there for something as retarded as my purse. i don't die instantly, but i'm hospitalized for months with 3rd degree burns and immense pain; family refusing to pull the plug until i gruesomely give up the ghost

2. showering in a second story apartment, when the tub falls through the floor and hits a roomful of kids on the way down, my naked body landing in a very visually unpleasant position and the surviving children having to witness it

1. i never, ever want to die from angst-ridden, self-centered suicide. EVER.

(euthanasia, however, is a different story.)

Re: best ways to die -- and, um, the not-so-best.

lol, you are so imaginitive and hilarious!

Re: best ways to die -- and, um, the not-so-best.

Past hilarious, beyond outrageously creative, tops in death Inspiration:) Whooo Ha!!!

PJ