Re: Week 15: Choices

1. Do you consciously choose to live your life in a particular way?
>>Today i adopted a walk. No longer just talk, i am choosing to WALK. its funny because it started in Washington Square, Philadelphia, a few weeks ago. there was this girl, and she was just CAREFREE and STRONG and full of LOVE. she was walking a BIG dog, smiling and laughing, wearing men’s gym shorts and black sneakers. but she was beautiful and alive and blatantly obvious about it, despite the “professionals” surrounding her. when i saw her, she had stopped with her dog to talk with an older man on a bench that i assumed she had just met.
As of late, i, myself have been taking life (ahem) a lil too seriously. Awakening has brought me quite an emotional flood for which, only today, did i allow myself much overflow space. i choose not to waste more time mulling. i know enough to continue with the present moment. And that girl’s way of Being resonated with a certain part of myself (which i have yet to bring fully to the surface) in a way that i could not begin to put into words.
for today, i choose that part of me.

2. What life experiences have influenced how you chose to live your life?
>> Seeing pain, seeing people stew in their own pain… having stewed in myself for quite awhile has brought many realizations, but also much unecessary suffering. My potential is awaiting at my front door step, and i’ve been staring at it, scared, for too long now :) Every life experience has showed me that now, i choose to live my life GIVING love, not worrying about the insanity around me, and seeking any level of connection i can get.

3. Reflect on a specific good/positive choice that you made at a particular time in your life.
a. Was it like to make that choice?
b. What were the consequences of that choice?

>>This was my first summer after begining college, and i chose not to work. Instead, ME time was in order, to bring myself back together, mentally and spiritually. It was difficult to make the choice, as no one i knew thought it to be the BEST choice, nor could they sympathize with WHY i was making the choice. The most obvious consequence is that i am starting this school year BROKE, but will be working parttime to make up for it. BUT!!!, i am more surefooted in LIFE, i have experienced broader perspectives of BEING, and have gained a good deal of maturity. i am entering college this semester, scarily, in a much DIFFERENT state of understanding and being than many of my peers. but, the choice was mine and i accept this “consequence” ;)

4. Reflect on a specific bad/negative choice that you made at a particular time in your life.
a. Was it like to make that choice?
b. What were the consequences of that choice?

>> One recent bad choice was not allowing myself enough space. This week has been rough, as I have been taking to heart a lot of events that to me, have signified failure in my personal growth. Today i realized that i was putting myself into an overload mode, as well as already being overloaded. In other words, i was stressing myself out over my existing stressors. the consequence, fortunately, is me writing this blog. the topic of “choice” fit well, as i chose earlier today to just ALLOW more flow within myself, instead of trying so hard to accept, be, and even to flow.

4. Are there any choices you have made that you would choose to do differently if you could?

>>Tonight, I can honestly say NO. This choice i’ve been hinting at is all about the NOW and TODAY. cliche as it is, i’m not allowing myself regrets right now. so what IS important?? WHAT IS IN FRONT OF ME!

***BONUS ROUND***
Do you feel that you influence others and shape yourselves more with the “bigger” (new career) choices you make or the smaller (holding a door open for someone) choices that you make?

>>Definately both. If i let the door swing in someone’s face, what does that say about my great “career choice”??? All choices, big and small, define and indicate who i am in that moment. If it happens to be a bad day and I’m not present enough to see another person behind me, I’m allowing the bad day to take over me. I’m also slamming it into someone else’s reality. Some choices take time (bigger), some are instinctive (smaller). I feel that in day to day happenings, practicing CHOICE and ACTION with a greater purpose and intention in mind, will give rise to more true and properly aligned choices in the bigger matters.

GOOD TOPIC!! <3>