Let's Get Honest!

Let's get honest and change the world!

Re: Let's Get Honest!

Okay!

Count me in!

Re: Let's Get Honest!

But you have to remember, sometimes the truth hurts. 
Like when you ask someone how they are doing, and they go on and on telling you exactly everything bad that's happened to them in the past year.  That just happened to me the other day at work.  I was bored to tears.  But they were radically honest, to say the least. :)

Re: Let's Get Honest!

What do you mean by “radical honesty”?

What does the “radical” part of the phrase mean in particular?

Re: Let's Get Honest!

I am thinking of a different kind of honesty, it goes like this. If you ask me how I am doing I might say, in regards to what? That would stop you for a second, a well, ah at work? Then I’d ask what do you want to know about my work? See?

I will respond directly to what someone asks, no more unless they specifically are interested in something specific in my life.

I am happy to spill it out, but the questioner needs to be clear in the question. No general questions. Show interest, not some trained so called polite behavior that has no answer intended in the question.

End of boredom.

Re: Let's Get Honest!

Hello.

I think the first step towards honesty is recognizing that honesty is not truth.  Being honest may hurt but if we were able to work through individual honest stances (be them joyful, paranoid, dicerning) as something that is unique, to that individual, we are then able to dissasociate our selves from what one is sharing, as being truth (for it is not), and  see it for what it realy is, perspective. 

Re: Let's Get Honest!

On Honesty:

There is nothing more profound than Truth.

But, how to define Truth? Are there different types of Truth? Let’s take this simple mathematic Truth for example:

1 + 1 = 2

Now, it is generally accepted that One plus One equals Two. Mathematically, this is a very simple premise, but has tremendous implication – in fact, simple addition is a very fundamental rule to which all matter, all substance of this universe is bound. This simplistic framework is rigid, in which all of the participants: One, One, and Two, are well defined and obvious.

Let’s take another example of Truth in which definitions bend. Take, for example, Light. Try to fit it into such a rigid framework, and you will find that it does not work. Light, in it’s essence, takes neither the form of wave, nor particle – until it is necessary for it to take such form. One can not argue that Light is only wave, nor can one argue that Light is simply packets, or particles, of energy. One could argue that Light could be represented by Two, Wave by One and Particle by the other One. However, this does not accurately represent what is happening all around us every day, though. Light exists as Wave or Particle only, not as both in a particular instant of time. So then:

1 = 2

This leads one to wonder if Truth is a matter of perspective. Yes – Light is a Wave. Yes – Light is a Particle. Yes, Light is both Wave and Particle, but only one at a time, and only from the paradigm from which it is viewed.

Then what about the Truths we hold dear, as humans? What about the Truth that is found in Creation, in God? Is it a Truth that we perceive, or one that we create? Is there a deep connection between all beings and nonbeings alike, or is it something that we each individually create within our input/output mentality? Personally, I like to think I am a link in a chain, but perhaps the chain is simply a delusion of my mind. What is the Truth? It is much like thinking about a thought. Say, for instance, I am thinking about a tomato. Then, I stop and think about the thought of the tomato. Technically, it is not two thoughts – it is only one – only one at a time. The brain deludes itself into thinking that is a compound thought, when in all reality it can only focus on one thing at a time. Either think about the tomato, or think about the thought – that is all that is feasible. In that respect, I can not truly see myself as a link in the chain and percieve the chain’s entirety at the same time – I can likewise not see myself as Man and great God creation in the same moment.

Well, how about Honesty then? Honesty is based on Truth.

A white cat is walking across a black room. One Woman turns to another and says, “Look at that cat, it is Blue”. Is it a lie? The Truth is this: the cat only appears to be White because all colors of the visible spectrum of light are reflecting off of it. So, in Truth, the cat is Red, Orange, Yellow, Green, Blue, Indigo, and Violet – concurrently. So where White equals Two,

1+1+1+1+1+1+1 = 2

Let’s suppose that the Woman who perceived the cat has eyes whose Rods & Cones can only receive the Blue spectral wavelengths. For her, The cat is Blue – absolutely. For the other Woman, whose eyes work as most do, the cat is White. It is an incongruency in the perspective of this Woman to conclude that the viewer is a ‘liar’, or that her statement is ‘dishonest’.

Then, let’s define Honesty – is it perspective? Is it absolute law? Black and White or Gray Area?

Thoughts?

Cedric =)

Re: Let's Get Honest!

Honesty, for me, means being aware. Honesty may be described twofold… the first level of honesty for me is in what I say to others. The second is in what I say to myself. If I’m not being honest with myself, I necessarily cannot be honest with others. From my perspective, it goes farther- if and only if we are honest with ourselves will we be honest with others. (That is the ‘if and only if’ part.)

All dishonesty stems originally with self-dishonesty. Self-dishonesty is created by fear- usually fear of Blame. Getting rid of fear (often through dissolving the blame) often loosens up the self-lie. Then honesty naturally becomes apparent.

This works on the outside too- why do we lie? We lie because we desire reality to be different than it is. Why do we want this? Many reasons- to inflict a change, or to maintain the status-quo of how we are perceived or another thing is perceived. This maintenance of illusion is the ego at work- ego desires not to be realized as illusion. Drop blame and fear- ego and dishonesty flee.

BTW- in modern physics, light is neither particles nor waves- ever. It is described mathematically by either wave-functions or newtonian functions, sometimes. In truth, those are just descriptions of behaviours. We really don’t know WHAT light is… I only mention this because it clarifies just how unknown reality really is. Calling light sometimes a particle and sometimes a wave is like calling a whirlpool sometimes straight and sometimes round.

WHICH brings us to perspective. If all truths appear different from various perspectives, then can it be said that there is any truth other than: I don’t know the truth?

It seems honesty and truth are related, but not the same. honesty is a relation of equality, truth a declaration of axiomatic isomorphism… or, that reality is X.

Re: Let's Get Honest!

honesty and truthfulness

aspirations to use honesty and truthfulness a  tool for empowerment works!!!

with certain like-minded or potentially brave equally commited loving individuals and

children.

It takes a powerful connection to ride through the dark periods and sometimes our minds
shut down to the hearing of the other even when they are speaking their truth.

Sometimes we cannot share our whole truth for fear of rejection, misunderstanding,
personal safety, and obligations to something bigger than ourselves

Truth as our Achilles heel … is painful
when dont we want to know the truth?

alone in the dark

x

Radical Honesty with Compassion!

Radical honesty with compassion is a way of life for me. I find it to be much more affective than brutal honesty or unskillful honesty because my intent is to express truth without harm. It indeed takes practice (and courage!) but over time it gets comes more naturally and i find from practicign RHWC I am in my integrity much more of the time. And that feels great!

Here is a description of a Radical Honesty workshop and book by Brad Blanton who travels the country teaching radical honesty that seems oh so relevant to this new pod. (Maybe we can have our own little workshop right here!):

Radical Honesty: Transform Your Life by Telling the Truth
Brad Blanton
We all lie like hell. It causes stress, anxiety, depression and is a source of conflict, misery, ill-health, and death. Our parents and our schools teach us to pretend and put on a show, so as children we develop a public face and learn to lie as a means of protection. Our suffering comes from the belief that we are who we are in the eyes of others. We live in our imaginations, thinking about how our act is going over, instead of being there with other people. Your mind stays on duty like a guard dog, day in and day out.

The point of radical honesty isn’t to invoke another oppressive morality, but to get in touch with our insides. Telling other people the truth works. It’s that simple. Honesty leads to greater intimacy. You have to have some guts to take this workshop, but it is rewarding.

Freedom comes from truthfulness. “I didn’t want to hurt their feelings” is the biggest rationalization for lying that we have. People can get over having their hurt feelings in about half an hour, and it’s the same with anger, which needs to be expressed directly, completely, and honestly to be healing. Telling the truth breaks down barriers, even if it hurts temporarily, because you can relax and get on with life. What is true now isn’t true in a little while, because our feelings and the truth change that’s the way life is. If you’re grounded in your experience, you can forgive yourself and your fellow beings and love life. When we connect honestly, life becomes a lot more fun and a hell of a lot funnier.

This workshop is a carefully designed series of experiential exercises, supervised practice in honest communication, and discussions about how the mind works. Dr. Blanton offers a blueprint for action that shows how we can have lives that work, relationships that are alive and passionate, and intimacy that transcends loneliness. Be forewarned, this workshop could transform the way you live your life.

Brad Blanton is the author of Radical Honesty: How to Transform Your Life by Telling the Truth. The book jacket says “Warning: contains adult language and adult ideas.” So does Dr. Blanton, who calls himself “a well-educated, golf-playing, foul-mouthed, joke-telling, Gestalt therapist redneck ego-maniac.” Trained in Gestalt Therapy by Fritz Pearls, Jim Simkin, and Robert Hall and in hypnosis by Milton Erikson, he’s been a practicing clinical psychologist for 30 years, and also he’s been on Roseanne, 20/20, CNN, and Politically Incorrect. He also wrote Practicing Radical Honesty: How to Complete the Past, Live in the Present, and Build a Future with a Little Help from Your Friends, and the forthcoming Radical Parenting: How to Raise Creators and Honest to God (co-authored with Neale Donald Walsch) His visits here have been a gas, and we welcome this pass, too.

“The truth not only sets us free, it’s also the gateway to intimacy, the source of emotional and often physical healing, and the vehicle through which the power of compassion manifests in our lives and in the world as transformation.” - Brad Blanton

Re: Radical Honesty with Compassion!

I think I read the comments on light too early in the morning.  Anyway, I think truth and honesty is a perspective thing.  Some things are true for some people, but not true for others.  We all grew up with different influences and see the world and our lives differently from those around us.  All we can really do is understand when someone is being truthful with us it may be their truth alone.  Radical honesty with Compassion I believe is a great thing.  I also think that it is a long term for tact.  Here's to a truth-filled world!

Re: Radical Honesty

I tend to think the most radical form of honesty is honesty with oneself.

And the densest structure of lies is the mask of lies we tell ourselves about ourselves.

Compared to that, the lies we tell others are mostly lighthearted and kind.
 

Re: Radical Honesty

Ah, Yes, I realized today that I do have pain, which I was denying from experiencing within myself. Because other people are not comfortable with pain, I have began to deny it in myself, and I think this has added to it if anything. Just allowing ourselves to feel something anyway, diminishes it. Its beautiful! (and nice to share.. thanks for the opportunity).. ! Rebecca

Re: Radical Honesty with Compassion!

Thanks for the post Mary

I attended Brad's 10-day 'Course in Honesty' in Virgina a few years back. For 10 days, 16 participants committed to telling the truth. Holy crap.

It was the most intense 10 days I have experienced in my life. It continues to amaze me the level of intimacy available to all of us if we just drop our bull-shit. Brad and his co-facilitator Taber were tenacious in peeling off the subtle and not so subtle ways we keep ourselves from being truthfull and living beyond our perceptions, imaginings and beliefs.

I had the priviledge of Brad staying in my home for a few days during his visit and lecture in Vancouver, he is a very interesting man to say the least and I have learned much from him over the years. I have also spent a lot of time with Neale Donald Walsch since 1995 who's Conversations with God books are amazing (especially his latest At Home with God, a Life that Never Ends), so when Neale and Brad wrote a book together (Honest to God), it was a must read, and very enlightening perspective.

I also facilitate a Radical Honesty 8-week course for those who want to experience and apply the principles in their every day life.

So yes, we may just be having a little workshop here indeedy, great I say!

Re: Radical Honesty with Compassion!

Bruce

that is so exciting!  you have indeed been blessed! and i am intrigued by your workshop on radical honesty. what a dream to be faciitaitng that, a dream i woudl embrace and nurture—up for a little mentoring cus maybe i could spread the love as such a leader also, oh my. please tell us more about this work you do!

recently in a sleep dream, being a  psychodramatist called loud and clear. i have been looking into Avatar training in this 'waking life'…all about being honest with the self, living in integrity, gettign desired results…sometimes i just wish soemone would tap me onthe shoulder and tell me what to package in a workshop of my own! yet in this dream, psychodrama came a calling..;hmmm!

thanks for this self-indulgence…power to the people

Re: Radical Honesty with Compassion!

When does the cyberWorkshop begin? I'm game. Just became aware of pods today and joined this one. Seems not to have had much activity for over a month. But now's a new moment. What'll take for everyone tp ante up?

Re: Let's Get Honest!

In the Gnostic text called the Gospel of Thomas, Jesus is asked what the new rules are.  He replies, “Do what you love and don't lie.”  That is a great mediation to go into.  If we are not doing what we love, that is a kind of lie.  I believe the words of a dying friend that only love and the acts of love matter.  That is something to hold to as a truth meter.  So then doing something we hate, like a deadening job, is a kind of lie.  Saying, “oh fine<” when you are feeling shitty is also a kind of lie.  So it does become a radical act not to lie.  I don't see it as a morality challenge but as a meditation to move toward deeper reality, deeper honesty, deeper truth, deeper love.  Yes this is radicl.

To bow to Steven Stills, “if you can't be in the world (job, marriage, location) you love, love the world you are in.”

We are made of love, we are here to grow love, to make more of it than we came in with.  All else might be less than honest.

Esclare

Re: Let's Get Honest!

“Only honesty is sexy”    …. Osho

Re: Let's Get Honest!

Great topic!  I would love to hear more about the principles you teach in your course.

Any insights you want to share are appreciated!

Thank you, Cristin

Re: Let's Get Honest!

Jeez, I really have been too busy……

Well Cristin, the main principle of my course is core-splitting honesty. Not the honesty we think we are reporting i.e. judgements, beliefs, impressions imaginings etc.

True Honesty is when “something” happens then reporting to that person what we are feeling, the story we have made up about it and then stay relating with the other person until all the body reactions have passed and then, we can have an actual intimate encounter (and I don't necessarily mean sex, the word intimate is so misunderstood!)

 This is a start, then we work at peeling off the layers of the onion and getting to the underlying “stuff” that causes our hurt, separation, rage, judgements etc etc…..

 Make sense so far?