Integral Despairwork and the Work That Reconnects

On The Faces of the Feminine and the Masculine thread, we've recently touched on the need to explore the deep pain that underlies our current distorted relationship to the Earth and to the Feminine.  This has reminded me of some of the work of Joanna Macy that I explored while I was pursuing my degree at JFKU.  Starting in the 1970s, she started to offer Buddhist-influenced deep ecology teachings and practices for facing some of these issues – from Despairwork to The Council of All Beings workshops.  Since then, her practices have expanded and they are now all encompassed under the heading, The Work that Reconnects (Group Practices for the Great Turning).

I wrote a paper on her work in connection with a ritual/meditative practice I created for an Integral Ecology class (environmental tonglen).  I found that she was already using tonglen-like practices in her Despairwork, which involves allowing for a communal voicing and processing of our deeply embodied (but largely repressed) pain for the condition of the world and the dangers we post to it and to ourselves. 

I may share the paper, or excerpts from the paper, later.  For now, I just wanted to open this topic up for discussion.  I've talked to Sean Hargens (an Integral Ecologist with I-I) about Joanna Macy's work, and he informs me that individuals are already working on an Integral formulation of some of it – to ground it in a perspective that is perhaps less prone to Green shortsightedness.  But even in its present form, I think Joanna Macy's work is quite powerful and worthwhile – an eruption into the world of the Feminine tenderness and rage, deeply embodied and connected, rooted also in Buddhist perspectives on radical interdependence and compassion.

I'm open to talking specifically about Joanna's work here, and how it might show up in or get adopted by Integral practitioners.  Or to just talking more directly about the issues she raises and the ways we individually work with them.  To start, I'll share some points she offers for understanding the theoretical foundations and the practical steps of the work.  I'll post those points in two subsequent entries.

Best wishes,

Balder

Re: Integral Despairwork and the Work That Reconnects

Theoretical Foundations

These assumptions are the basis for the Work that Reconnects:

This world, in which we are born and take our being, is alive.

It is not our supply house and sewer; it is our larger body. The intelligence that evolved us from star dust and interconnects us with all beings is sufficient for the healing of our Earth community, if we but align with that purpose.

Our true nature is far more ancient and encompassing than the separate self defined by habit and society.

We are as intrinsic to our living world as the rivers and trees, woven of the same intricate flows of matter/energy and mind. Having evolved us into self-reflexive consciousness, the world can now know itself through us, behold its own majesty, tell its own stories–and also respond to its own suffering.

Our experience of pain for the world springs from our inter-connectedness with all beings, from which also arises our powers to act on their behalf.

When we deny or repress our pain for the world, or treat it as a private pathology, our power to take part in the healing of our world is diminished. This apatheia need not become a terminal condition. Our capacity to respond to our own and others' suffering–that is, the feedback loops that weave us into life–can be unblocked.

Unblocking occurs when our pain for the world is not only intellectually validated, but experienced.

Cognitive information about the crises we face, or even about our psychological responses to them, is insufficient. We can only free ourselves from our fears of the pain–including the fear of getting permanently mired in despair or shattered by grief–when we allow ourselves to experience these feelings. Only then can we discover their fluid, dynamic character. Only then can they reveal on a visceral level our mutual belonging to the web of life.

When we reconnect with life, by willingly enduring our pain for it, the mind retrieves its natural clarity.

Not only do we experience our interconnectedness in the community of Earth, but also mental eagerness arises to match this experience with new paradigm thinking. Concepts which bring relatedness into focus become vivid. Significant learnings occur, for the individual system is reorganizing and reorienting, grounding itself in wider reaches of identity and self-interest.

The experience of reconnection with the Earth community arouses desire to act on its behalf.

As Earth's self-healing powers take hold within us, we feel called to participate in the Great Turning. For these self-healing powers to operate effectively, they must be trusted and acted on. The steps we take can be modest undertakings, but they should involve some risk to our mental comfort, lest we remain caught in old, “safe” limits. Courage is a great teacher and bringer of joy.

Re: Integral Despairwork and the Work That Reconnects

Guidebook to the Work (Coming Back to Life)

Coming Back to Life (NSP 1998) provides both theory and step by step methods in the Work That Reconnects. Here is an overview.

Chapter 1. To Choose Life

This is the aim of the Work That Reconnects: help us take part in the epochal shift from the industrial growth society to a life-sustaining civilization. This Great Turning is happening now on many fronts. Its three main dimensions–(1) holding actions, to save lives and species; (2) alternative structures for a livable future; and (3) shift in consciousness, cognitive, perceptual, and spiritual–are all essential and mutually reinforcing.

Chapter 2. The Greatest Danger: Apatheia, the Deadening of Mind and Heart

Given the widespread suffering of our time, as well as the dangers confronting us, sorrow arises, and fear and anger. “Pain for our world” is a normal, healthy response; but cultural, political, and psychological factors lead us to repress this pain–at enormous cost. This repression, or psychic numbing, is dispelled through the Work That Reconnects.

Chapter 3. The Basic Miracle: Our True Nature and Power

Tremendous resources are at hand to guide and fuel our actions on behalf of life. These gifts of our time include the breakthroughs represented by living systems theory and deep ecology, as well as the resurgence of nondualistic spirituality. Each in its way helps us come to a new understanding of our power to take part in the self-healing of our world. These are the foundations of the Work That Reconnects.

Chapter 4. TheWork that Reconnects

The goals and assumptions of this group work are presented here straightforwardly, then evoked in a mythic fashion with the Shambhala prophecy.

Chapter 5. Guiding Group Work

The work is best done in groups, where people can support, inspire, and learn from each other. The keys to effective facilitation of groups are offered. Guidance ranges from forming intention and dealing with heavy emotions, to the nuts and bolts of planning a workshop and sustaining its coherence and flow.

Chapter 6. Affirmation: Coming from Gratitude

This is the first stage of the group's work. Why is gratitude essential at the outset, as well as being implicit throughout the work? We discuss its primal role, and offer simple, brief ways for eliciting it.

Chapter 7. Despair Work: Owning and Honoring Our Pain for the World

This second and crucial stage is also the most politically subversive; here group members experience, express, and explore what mainstream culture persistently denies: our inner responses to the suffering in our world. Methods for despair work range from simple sentence completion exercises to ritual forms, like the Truth Mandala, which are structured to allow and contain intense emotion.

Chapter 8. The Shift: Seeing with New Eyes

The third stage of the work, described in chapters 9 and 10 as well, brings forward our radical interconnectedness, the source of our capacity to suffer with our world. Here new paradigm thinking plays an important role; so suggestions for presenting “brain food” to the group are offered, along with lively exercises like the Systems Game and quieter ones like Widening Circles.

Chapter 9. Deep Time: Reconnecting with Past and Future Generations

Our interconnectedness in the web of life extends through time as well as space. Deep Time work helps us break out of our culture's frenzied and atomizing experience of time, and reclaim a strong, conscious relationship with those who have gone before and those to come after us. Methods range from simple letter-writing to more complex processes, like Harvesting the Gifts of the Ancestors and the Double Circle with the seventh generation.

Chapter 10. The Council of All Beings: Rejoining the Natural World

It is also our birthright to enjoy an empowering kinship with other species. Deep ecology has long inspired the Work That Reconnects, and here we offer methods particularly designed to take us beyond the anthropocentrism of our culture and dramatize our embeddedness in the web of life. These include such favorites as the Council of All Beings and the Evolutionary Remembering.

Chapter 11. Going Forth

In this culminating stage of the work, group participants prepare to take the insights and motivation they have gained and apply them in their ongoing lives and home communities. They are helped to clarify the particular projects and roles they feel called to take on in the Great Turning, and also the ways they can continue to support each other after the workshop.

Chapter 12. Meditations for Coming Back to Life

One workshop, or even several, is insufficient to keep us anchored in the wider sense of identity with Earth and all beings, that we experienced there. From birth we have been conditioned by assumptions underlying the Industrial Growth Society. To decondition ourselves, we need ongoing practices–and these are available to us now from the many nondualistic spiritual traditions re-emerging in our time. Seven, found especially useful in the work, are given here in full. From the Web of Life to the Gaia Meditaion, and the Great Ball of Merit, they are suitable for shared practice at almost any stage of a workshop.

Re: Integral Despairwork and the Work That Reconnects

This is a topic I identify and resonate with very deeply, but I would have to study the book which you mention, which I will do (adding it to the currently massive list…)

I dig your idea/practice of environmental tonglen - that seems a very good way into beginning to experiencially explore this topic

When we reconnect with life, by willingly enduring our pain for it, the mind retrieves its natural clarity.
That particluarly rings true and stands out for me.
But so do many other topics - this is abook i will be getting,

Many thanks
Melv

Re: Integral Despairwork and the Work That Reconnects

wow this is great. Im going to give it the time required over the course of today. She's gone deeeep into it and its wonderful to have her knowledge transmitted.

Thank you, a bow
Gitanjali

Re: Integral Despairwork and the Work That Reconnects

Dear Ones,

Johanna Macy!  Jai Johanna!

When the stage of self is properly “set,” Grief will arise with Joy to hold its hand.  Despair subsides.

There must be something in the air.  Just the other day I experienced an ecstatic state  that was an outpouring of grief so profound that it could not all have come from me.  Could not.  Ineffable.  Only the joy remained.  Despair is Grief deferred.  I will try to write about the process I went through soon.  It was pretty simple.  Mooney music, movement, and crying out loud are involved.

yer pal,
Michael

Re: Integral Despairwork and the Work That Reconnects

Despair is grief deferred

That is beautiful and clarifying Michael. Thank you

Re: Integral Despairwork and the Work That Reconnects

Despair is grief deferred. 

How true that is, Michael!

For anyone who has the energy and patience, I am sharing an excerpt from the paper I mentioned.  It is not a paper I'm particularly proud of – I wrote it in a hurry, trying to make a deadline – but the issues that underlie it (and peek through the paper in all its imperfection) are of great import to me. 

~*~

 

…..For those of us studying this field [ecopsychology] and considering contributing to it in one way or another, the constellation of grief, fear, apathy, and denial that grips the modern heart is an issue of enormous concern that goes right to the core of our culture's pathology.  Attending to the cry for love and community implicit in these conflicted feelings is, as Andy Fisher (2002) argues, the ecopsychological task of our time (p. 191).  In the pages that follow, I will look in some detail at the social and cultural forms of pathology that have contributed both to our current ecological crisis and to the denial surrounding it that have made the irruption of prophetic voices necessary, and I will then look at several Buddhist-inspired approaches to meeting and healing this sickness.  In particular, I will discuss Joanna Macy's despairwork, as well as the Buddhist practice of tonglen in relation to environmental suffering.  Recent developments in cognitive neuroscience underscore the theoretical soundness and practical efficacy of this ancient Buddhist practice, and I will use these findings to support my contention that practices of this sort represent a more mature perspective on relating to suffering and crisis than the abstract moralizing and admonishment of our era's prophets of doom.

OUR PREDICAMENT

            The work of Derrick Jensen (1995, 2000, 2002) stands as a powerful indictment of some of the deepest roots of Western culture, and fully attending to his message - even at one's own pace, putting his books down when they get too heavy - can be quite overwhelming and bewildering.  He clearly speaks to us from the place of a prophet, dropping burning verbal bombs on our society that are more damning and far-reaching than any of the frightening statistics dropped on us by well-meaning teachers and environmentalists, because they illuminate not only the consequences of our actions but the hidden pathology that drives them.

            Like the prophets of old, Jensen is a hairy looking man who has probably eaten grasshoppers.  He is the survivor of abuse in a highly dysfunctional family, and he brings the disturbing clarity of the wounded eye to bear on the practices, the silences, and the pretensions of our society (Jensen, 2000).  While I read his account with a measure of critical distance, wary of reducing complex phenomena to a single metaphor, I find his application of the dysfunctional features of an abusive family to our society to be compelling, particularly the prevalence of denial and amnesia to past abuses (Jensen, 2000, pp. 2-7).  Jensen (2000) describes how his father, the primary abuser in his family, had to instill in them a “culture of make-believe,” a story which justified and made sense of the disorder - a story which everyone readily adopted (p. 5).

            Because Jensen's (2000) development of this metaphor is quite powerful and pertinent to the topic at hand, I will quote it at length:

“In attempting to describe the world in make-believe terms, we have forgotten what is real and what isn't.  We pretend the world is silent, whereas in reality it is filled with conversations.  We pretend we are not criminals, whereas in reality the laws of ecology apply as much to us as to the rest of ‘God's Creation'… We pretend that animals feel no pain, and that we have no ethical responsibility towards them.  We pretend all is well as we dissipate our lives in quiet desperation… Taken together, a way of life based on these pretenses is destroying life on our planet” (pp. 5-7).

            To drive home the point that the silencing of nature is in some sense intentional and necessary to the human project, Jensen (2000) later describes a former practice of vivisectionists: severing the vocal cords of animals before cutting their live bodies open, thus rendering subjects into objects that could be more easily manipulated in the pursuit of human advancement (p. 15).  The important point of the story, which Jensen (2000) relates as a commentary on the myths of our society, is that the scientists who did this typically convinced themselves that the animals really felt nothing, and that the clipping of the vocal cords was to eliminate a distraction rather than to block out the true consequences of their activity.

            In Listening to the Land, Jensen (1995) interviews a number of leading scientists, activists, and ecologists about our current ecological crises, particularly deforestation and the daily extinction of life forms continuing apace as the result of our activities, and many of these thinkers offer quite disturbing assessments of modern culture.  Naturalist John Livingston describes our society's relationship to nature as sociopathic, since for the sociopath it is not that the feelings of the “other” aren't important, it's that they don't even exist (Jensen, 1995, p. 55).  Livingston contends that our sociopathy stems in part from our domestication, our reliance on the prosthetic “crutch” of civilization, and when Jensen (1995) asks him if he thinks learning to reconnect to others would effectively rid us of this domestication, he responds that it will work only if we learn to open to non-humans (p. 56). 

            Perhaps inspired by his discussion with Livingston, or by similar charges of madness from ecopsychologists such as Paul Shepard (1995), Jensen (2000) recounts experiments done with monkeys in which they were “raised” by artificial, unresponsive, and sometimes “attacking” surrogate mothers: thus separated from their natural social embeddedness, they became “monster mothers” themselves, incapable of relating to others or caring for their own offspring (p. 346).  In an argument reminiscent of Shepard's (1995) thesis, Jensen (2000) draws upon this metaphor to suggest that our alienation from our evolutionary embeddedness in a living, responsive, teeming natural world has rendered us “monstrous mothers” as well.  Pointing back to the dynamics of rape and child abuse, Jensen (2000) argues that the sheer ubiquity of violence or pathology renders it transparent and difficult to recognize.  We are invested, in fact, in not recognizing it.  In an abusive home, it is often felt to be too dangerous, physically and psychologically, to face the problems head on, or even to consciously acknowledge them.  In a society which is chronically and habitually abusive and disrespectful towards its environment and the other beings native to it, we are similarly invested in “forgetting” what is going on: facing the pattern is horrifying in itself, and even more daunting because of the difficult sacrifices we would likely have to make to adequately address the problem (Jensen, 2000, p. 87).

            These few pages have only allowed me to give a rough outline of Jensen's challenge to our society.  Jensen's (2002) vision reveals a culture secretly contemptuous of itself, convinced of its unworthiness to inhabit a healthy world and thus half-consciously pursuing its own destruction (pp. 70-71).  Jensen (2002) describes his work as a weapon, and like a weapon, his sharp and often angry language has the power either to excise infection or to inflict further injury.  He appears to acknowledge this when he admits that ultimately it is experience, not thought, that will afford us the opportunity for real healing, when we allow ourselves to inhabit the pain and horror of our predicament deeply enough that we are able, at last, to see it clearly (2000, p. 89).  This admission opens the door to the next section of this paper.

            Before turning to it, though, I want to acknowledge the important if incomplete (and sometimes flawed) prophetic works of people like Jensen for the task of ecopsychology.  In grappling with the tough knot of fear, despair, denial, and apathy that afflicts most of us, even those of us with a commitment to rise to this challenge, it is essential that ecopsychologists are cognizant of the often hidden cultural and social forces that drive and constrain us.  We are not seeking to unearth and address those factors in our psyches that put us out of step with society (the province of much traditional psychology), but those factors in the social order itself that put us out of step with the more-than-human world.  As with institutional racism, even those who oppose and seek to address the problem are often deeply implicated in it, and thus their standards for “health” are skewed.  These stories and structures of “make-believe” are for many of us the only world we know, and thus it takes the wild-eyed locust eaters that stalk the edges of civilization to shake us and let us see ourselves in a new way.  Their assaults may be harmful if sustained too long, or too forcefully, but at the right time they may be what we need to lay our wounds open for debridement.

DESPAIRWORK AND THE GROUND OF CONCERN

            In her long career of confronting the threats of nuclear holocaust and ecological devastation, Joanna Macy (1983) has come to perceive and clearly articulate the constellation of guilt, fear, despair, and psychic numbing or amnesia that Jensen (2000) claims are the indicators of the dysfunction of an abusive society, but she returns from the encounter with a markedly different perspective.  She does not deny the sickness or alienation at the heart of human culture, but instead of focusing on the pathology, she pushes through these feelings to what she believes is the redeeming light at their core: the realization that these feelings are indicators of trauma, of repressed suffering for the world, which itself springs ultimately from a ground of concern (Macy, 1983, p. 18).  Macy (1983) contends that it is only by moving into and acknowledging our suffering for the world that we will discover our lost heart of primal relatedness and caring, which alone will give us the vision and power needed to meaningfully confront the threats human activity poses to itself and the world (p. 34).  Our suffering for the world is testimony to our interrelatedness with it, a condition of basic goodness that has not been domesticated out of us, as Livingston (1995) believes, but which indeed has been covered over and repressed.

            Macy (1983) argues that there are many reasons we stuff down and ignore the pain, guilt, and fear we feel in relation to our devastating impact upon the world: fear of pain, especially in a society obsessed with optimism and happiness; fear of appearing morbid; fear of the apparently unmanageable discomfort of guilt for activities we are largely powerless to stop; fear of appearing too emotional; superstitious fear of provoking disaster; fear of appearing unpatriotic or untrusting in God; fear of feeling powerless; and a sense of separate existence, in which pain for the environment or the world is suspected to be merely a private neurosis (pp. 6-12).  Macy (1983) names other reasons as well, and many of them are suggestive indeed of a dysfunctional family invested in maintaining a “culture of make-believe” rather than facing the truth of what is going on.  In this regard, Jensen (2000, 2002) is right, but Macy (1983) is at pains to remind us that this dysfunctional system, while in need of correction, is inhabited largely by beings whose hearts are not sociopathically immune to feeling, but rather overwhelmed by feelings that are often just too painful to acknowledge.

            Responding to this conviction, Macy (1983) and her colleagues developed a process for helping people acknowledge and move into these feelings that she calls despairwork.  This process is modeled on psychological griefwork, which helps bereaved people move through the trauma of loss, and is one which Macy (1983) considers essential for this time of global crisis (p. 18).  The theoretical principles of despairwork hold that feelings of pain for the world are natural and healthy, becoming morbid only when repressed; that information alone is insufficient to initiate transformation; and that unblocking repressed feelings clears the mind and helps reconnect us to the living earth (Macy, 1983, pp. 22-24).  The process itself involves acknowledging and validating despair and suffering, and then moving into and eventually through the pain to the secret at their core: our interconnectedness to the larger-than-human world, and the sense of caring and empowerment that engenders (p. 37).

            Despairwork in practice involves a wide array of experiential exercises and processes that are beyond the scope of this paper to cover.  Macy (2004) acknowledges that the Buddhist principles of pratitya-samutpada (co-dependent origination of phenomena), dukkha (the truth and pervasiveness of suffering), anicca (the impermanence of all phenomena), and anatta (non-self of phenomena) inform much of the work, and some of the exercises are borrowed directly from the Buddhist tradition.  The principles of suffering, impermanence, and nonself are particularly powerful in this context because they reveal suffering as the ground of compassion, they remind participants that feelings only appear permanent (and overwhelming) when they are fixed in place through the process of denial, and they reveal that the roots of suffering spring from a vast ground that encompasses and includes the limited human ego.

            From an integral psychological perspective, despairwork employs theories and practices that recognize and honor the four ecologies, from its thorough-going systems philosophy, its experiential exercises for contacting and moving into feelings of despair and empowerment, its interpersonal and body-based exercises, its neighborhood outreach projects, and its frequent employment of film and other media to facilitate inner exploration but also to encourage critical cultural analysis.  If despairwork is lopsided in any way, it is in the direction of its experiential focus.  Given the aim of the work, this is understandable, but a future project may be to do an integral analysis of despairwork, to broaden its theoretical and practical bases to make it an even more powerful integral transformative practice.

            One of the practices Macy (1983) teaches in this context is called Breathing Through, a meditation based in part on the Buddhist practice of tonglen.  I will devote the final section of this paper to a discussion of this powerful psychospiritual technology.

TONGLEN: BREATHING THROUGH THE WORLD

            In the practice she calls Breathing Through, Macy (1983) instructs us to visualize our heart as connected to the larger web of life, and then to use our breath to breathe in the suffering of the humans and animals on our planet, taking it in as a black smoke and then releasing it again to the vast healing resources of the web of life (pp. 155-156).  She comments that this practice helps us to maintain connection with the world, and that it protects activists and peaceworkers especially from burn-out by “reminding us of the collective nature of both our problems and our power” (Macy, 1983, p. 156).

            This practice is a variation on the ancient Buddhist practice of tonglen, or “giving and receiving.”  Where the Buddhist practice differs is in its instruction that the “giving” out-breath should carry healing light rather than being the release or giving over again of the suffering.  Macy (1983) likely has several reasons for introducing her variation, including the conviction that effective action will flow more readily from an expanded sense of self than a heroic altruism, but in either form the practice offers a way for us to contact and open our hearts to the suffering that surrounds us, both in formal sitting practice and “on the spot” as we move through the world.

            Recent research in cognitive neuroscience lends support to the theoretical and practical foundations of this practice, which is what attracted me to exploring it further in the context of ecopsychology, particularly in relation to the buried currents of pain, guilt, and numbness that surface during any sustained contemplation of our ecological predicament.  In an article entitled Imagining: Embodiment, Phenomenology, and Transformation, Francisco Varela and Natalie Depraz (2003) explore the transformational potential of tonglen in light of the recent research revealing the enactively emergent and embodied nature of cognition.  A detailed discussion of their important insights into the nonlinear co-determinative relationship between embodiment and cognition, and between perception and imagination, is beyond the scope of this paper, but their conclusions are compelling: a practice such as tonglen capitalizes on the irreducibility and inseparable relatedness of phenomenological experience and physical processes, and of global and local phenomena, to effect observable and lasting transformation of the human being (Varela and Depraz, 2003, pp. 212-216, 225-226).

Particularly relevant to this discussion is the following observation, which I quote at length:

“It is essential to remark that tonglen is eminently a practice based on the

existing intersubjective nature of one's experience.  The exchange is possible

only because humans are already immersed in a network of empathic

relations.  One's cognitive identity is inseparable from this foundation,

as modern research is making more and more clear…” (Varela and Depraz,

2003, p. 223, italics mine).

            This observation bears out Macy's (1983) thesis that our suffering for the world, and the symptoms it generates, is evidence of a deep interconnectedness with the intersubjective, living field of the Earth, and it places tonglen and practices like it at the center of the projects of ecopsychology and despairwork alike: to attend to our suffering as the “cry for love and community” that it is, and through that - through that passage into darkness and despair - to find the resources we need to heal ourselves and our world.  In my own personal practice, I have been inspired to explore applications of tonglen in relation to the biosphere and all of its inhabitants and elements, and have just begun to taste the fruits of this sadhana (which is still under construction).*

            It is my contention that practices such as tonglen are necessary to take us past the useful but limited stages of moralizing and self-admonishment that the prophets of eco-doom have initiated.  These admonishments and moral injunctions assume positions in the ecologies of our minds that are similar to our problematic human stance with regard to the rest of nature: occupying rather than inhabiting the environment, standing aloof in order to coerce, dominate, and control the “resources” and “subjects” at hand.  Just as we are realizing the limited utility and ultimate harm that flows from such a relationship to the natural world, we need to learn to inhabit our minds (and our self-world spaces) in a new way as well.  Despairwork and tonglen are eminent teachers in this regard.

            Fisher (2002) reminds us that the ability to bear pain depends on being able to place it within a larger context, so that we can see it proportionately and are no longer overwhelmed by it (p. 192).  But given the fact that the whole human project appears to be implicated in our predicament, it is often hard to imagine a context large enough to contain our fear and pain.  It is easier to tune it out, to turn it off.  This is where spiritual practice is essential, in my view: it allows us to open a window onto a View that is vaster than we usually entertain, and yet so intimate that it is closer to us than our bruised and tender hearts.  In this regard, tonglen is a precious resource, grounded as it is in timeless nondual vision, and yet connecting us compassionately to the ailing beings and systems that surround us and sustain us.

~*~

Best wishes,

Balder

Re: Integral Despairwork and the Work That Reconnects

I haven't had a chance to read everything here just yet – Balder posted a meaty new post just now as I re-clicked on this thread – but again I'm intrigued about how several of us seem to be on the same wavelength in terms of what we end up posting here –

For example, I'd been chewing the cud over some of the recent postings over on the Faces of the Feminine and the Masculine thread – particularly Jane's beautiful long lyrical lament  – and feeling grateful to hear Mascha's responsive cry, because I hadn't seen very many posts from her lately – and also agreeing with Gitanjali's exhortation for more active, visceral response … I'd been intending to write another post there.

And I was forced (again) to recognize the numbness and subtle withdrawal into which I've retreated. I interpret this as the result of several varieties of repression – suppressed anger (an old one for me), and pushed-away grief. Those horrors that Jane pointed to on the other thread – they've been going on so long – in fact they are part of the world we're born into and they will still be there when we exit this life – at some level I (and others, I'm sure) feel overwhelmed by them. They are too much to bear. I understand that we must allow ourselves to feel these things – but there's this sense that there is simply too much to feel, too much to grieve. If I were to allow all of the pain in, I don't know if I could function. I already feel less-than-fully-functional, with this constant low-grade tiredness, this insidious lethargy – so much of my energy going into holding all that feeling at bay…

And so I had planned on asking folks about ways to connect with that pain. Connect with it while remaining functional – if that is possible? And voila, I come back to the pod today, and there is already a thread on it!

The last time I let grief howl deep in my bones was after my mother's death. I could do so then because this was the death of a close and loved relative, after which I was not expected to be functional, meaning I could really let it happen. I remember the body-wrenching sobbing. It was a deep – squeezing, a crushing, as if I were being savagely bear-hugged by Love in body, mind, and spirit. It seemed like a hole had been torn out of my being. And it was only a month later that 9/11 happened – since my grief over my mother was still fresh, I was able to sob about that too – while I noticed that many of my friends and co-workers distanced themselves from it, didn't really allow it in …

But these days – the VA tech disaster, the day-to-day tortures, deaths and maimings in endless wars, the ignored genocides, the starving millions, the punished earth – I do not let it all in. Maybe that's really not possible or advisable anyway … unless “letting it all” in means to connect with both the beauty and the pain, feeling the blessings as well as the horrors, so that we can keep on putting one foot in front of the other.

Just kind of writing out loud here, not really sure what point I'm making. But too often I aim for writing wonderfully polished posts – editing constantly. Why is that? So I'm going to go against my usual grain and post this pretty much as is, and then try to catch up on some reading here.

Big sigh,
Mary

Re: Integral Despairwork and the Work That Reconnects

Mary, I am deeply moved by your post, by you. What you say about your mother's death. I recognise it already in my bones. You evoke it so powerfully and it feels Real. This is love something whispers to me.

You ask a very needed question. I've yet to read Bruce's essay and he may talk to that in it.

I have so far read Joanna's assumptions.  They speak to me. To recognise my holding hands… holding hearts …with all living things in the web of life. even as i recognise it I feel my own death. That is why I didnt want to recognise it before.

Love
Gitanjali

Re: Integral Despairwork and the Work That Reconnects

Mary, sometimes I think we were separated at birth.  Always thinking each other's thoughts!  Here, I hope I didn't jump the gun and get in the way of something you wanted to do.  I felt this was a natural way to go, given what we'd been discussing elsewhere.  I thought this topic was bigger than, or rather not exclusively defined by, m/f dynamics, so I wanted to begin exploring these things … using Joanna Macy as a touchstone, since she's gone deeply into this.

I hear what you are saying about the overwhelming nature of this subject.  The opening couple pages of my paper dealt with this, in fact.  I didn't include those pages in the excerpt I posted, mostly out of editorial pride – I don't think I said what I wanted clearly enough in those pages, so I didn't want to put them “out there” – but essentially, what I was talking about was this:  That deep feeling of anguish when you witness huge swaths of forest being cut down; the overwhelming fear and dread that can arise when you hear all the statistics about the decimation of life and wilderness in the past century; the sense that we are up against something so huge, there's no stopping it short of disaster; the anxiety that we may wipe each other out, or significant numbers of us, with weapons of mass destruction; etc.  I described several incidents in my life where teachers “dropped” information bombs on us students, and we were left feeling overwhelmed and confused.  When preachers give warnings of hellfire, there's always an escape clause:  “Accept Jesus!”  But when prophets of environmental or nuclear doom address us, there appears to be no way out …

Here, I'm talking about reactions particularly of children in this society, when we hear these sorts of things and are not really prepared to deal with them.  This kind of information has to be tuned out or denied; how else to cope?  As adults, we may be better prepared to evaluate the validity of the different doomsday scenarios that are trumpted out, and we may recognize that some of the “doom and gloom” may be trumped up or founded on weak science.  But there is still no getting around the damage we are doing to the environment or to the biosphere, standing as we do behind one of the largest extinction events in millennia.

When you lose a loved one – as I have also – there is a deep, bone shaking, gut wrenching crying we can do.  I have done it, crying out from my couch, banging my head on the steering wheel, miles from where anyone can hear me.  Feeling the deep loss of someone you have loved.  But “global loss” is a different animal.  How do we deal with it?

I love how Joanna opens up these questions.  This is important work. 

Re: Integral Despairwork and the Work That Reconnects

trumpted = trumpeted

Re: Integral Despairwork and the Work That Reconnects

Balder wrote: Here, I hope I didn't jump the gun and get in the way of something you wanted to do.  I felt this was a natural way to go, given what we'd been discussing elsewhere.  I thought this topic was bigger than, or rather not exclusively defined by, m/f dynamics, so I wanted to begin exploring these things … using Joanna Macy as a touchstone, since she's gone deeply into this.

Bruce – I wanted to pop in to tell you that this thread did not get in the way of anything for me – it was just kinda cool, how I had been mulling over just this question of reconnecting with “global pain,” and then I Iog on to II-Zaadz to find that you had posted these wonderful explorations and suggestions on the subject …

Bless,
Mary

Re: Integral Despairwork and the Work That Reconnects

Dear Ones,

This is from Wikipedia:

“The Dalai Lama, who is said to practice Tonglen every day, has said of the technique:  ‘Whether this meditation really helps others or not, it gives me peace of mind. Then I can be more effective, and the benefit is immense.'”

Six months ago, I might have read this and thought, “Hmmm … sounds wishy-washy.  ‘Peace of mind?' big deal.  ‘More effective?' so what.  ‘Immense' benefit?  Just how immense?”

Well, now I am sufficiently humbled to report that, unlike your's, “Mr. Truly Hyperbolic,” the Dalai Lama is not given to such exaggeration.  My recent experiences suggest that His use of the word “immense” may be an understatement.

Over the last 10 years I have learned that Practice (study, service, devotion, and meditation) lead to an opening of the Heart center and the rising of Self-love.  Trouble was, I slipped out of Practice like a sword from its sheath when held upside down.  Days and weeks would go by with the sheath upside down and the sword on the floor.  Self-love would subside.  I'd climb the mountain, and fall back down, over and over again - “benefit” eluded me. Brief, effortful experiences with Self-love were fleeting and seemed to contradict something within me - a lack of “deservingness” I suppose.  Practice was largely discarded. How could this be?  I have now learned that I was in a perpetual state of shadowed despair.  The still-shadowed despair rebelled in the face of Practice and fought back with the character defect of procrastination.  Friggin' perpetual doom - shadowed of course by my sunny “optimistic,” pretentious “look good” er … aura.  Aaauuuuggghhh!  Even now, Shame arises.  Sharing such with my loved ones:  Joy arises, Shame subsides.

When I came onto Zaadz, I quickly learned that if I was going to experience Joy, I would have to find it within.  I began to repeat to my smiling face in the mirror each morning, “I seek the Joy within.  I seek the Joy within.  I seek … “  I drew up a big-ass Gratitude list and Contemplated it.  Sure enough, Joy arose.  As a companion for Self-Love, the combination proved powerful enough to do good battle with the “lack-of-deservingness” piece.  My restlessness began to settle down and a smidgeon of Peacefulness arose in my Heart.  Hmmm … My writing began to reflect this change.  Love and Affection were freely offered from all of you, further anchoring the Peace and Self-Love.  Alchemy arose.

The ceaseless wrangling in my Mind-brain began to morph into longer states of selfless Contemplation.  Insight arose and, benefiting from the anchoring effect of Peace and glimmerings of Self-Love, decided to stay around long enough to become a part of me.  This led to extensive Contemplation, study, sharing, listening, and ultimately, Hearing the experiences of Others.  Mostly, my Contemplations centered around the “Exactly-what-happens-during-the-stimulation-Wonder-response-reaction?” cycle. 

So, with Curiosity and Honest-as-I-could-be as my headlights, I began to use myself as an experimental field about a month and a half ago and quickly learned that, the longer I stayed in the Wonder part of the cycle, the more Insight poured forth and the less likely I was to “have” to resort to reaction.  Prolonged Wonder led directly to responsible “response” - a first for me.  Next, Gitanjali started “heckling” me (heh heh) about Vulnerability, then someone else (thank you) brought up Allowance and my intuitive lights blasted on.  “There is something here!” I just knew it.  The rest of the discovery piece is too convoluted to remember clearly enough to even attempt a disclosure, BUT, the bottom line is that I have learned that the classic “Virtues” are not concepts as I had thought for ever, but resplendent Capabilities.  All that is required to bring them fully Alive, is Practice.  Functionally, they are Siddhis in the truest sense of the word.  Worked together in appropriate sequence (still wide open to investigation) they will lead to perfect Intention AND, praise Jaysus!, a focused point of Attraction in the Heart center from which Prayer may Gratefully arise.  We do not have to acquire these Virtues, they are already there, all they need is some Attention and Affection.

By this time, you are probably wondering “What's up with all this capitalization?”  Well, I have decided to begin to capitalize all “operative” words that I deem free of lies - “sunrise” is such a lie-bound word and does not deserve capitalization where “Morning and Evening” do.  The reason for this is that I seek to embed these capitalized words in my Body, in my Flesh.  Each time I capitalize them, I remind myself of the Reverence I hold for the Meaning of such words that are free of lies and pray for the Allowance and Vulnerability to In-corporate them.

OK?  Now, for the “how” part that led to the ecstatic experience with Grief and Joy.

Curiosity and Honesty are fundamental to rendering Insight from Experience.  If anchored, Insight will evolve into a Willingness to be changed.  I have had to learn, the hard way, that Insight can be trumped by my egoic need to seduce Attention from my Audience.  Not getting enough Affection as a kid, I turned into a lying, cheating, stealing attention freak.  I always was the smartest guy in the room - too smart for my own good, as the saying goes.  Quickly, what evolved was a messianic Shadow.  I was acting out of a victim/martyr archetype - a perversion (Shadow) of the Hero.

Allowance is the Gate.  Coming to Allowance is most of the work.  Work reveals Choice.  I had not Realized that I could Choose to move my Mind from my brain into the Heart center. I have learned that I can ask my Ego to stay behind in the brain.  It does not seem upset at this request as Ego is not to comfy in the void space of the Heart.  This Choice allowed me to pass through the gate of Allowance.  Allowance begets Surrender. Surrender permits Vulnerability.  Vulnerability induces Self-Trust.  Faith arises.  Curiosity and Honesty bring the Light of Faith within.  Truth is revealed. Beauty arises. Beauty in Truth begets Availability.  Willingness arises.  Intention manifests.  Vision appears.  Vision is released in Prayer.  Knowledge of God's Will for us regarding Vision may be expected. 

Relaxed, I could Enjoy the “wait,” while preparing to execute God's evident will for me as it became Apparent.  Repeat.  The key to this practice is to not transcend each step, but to Allow it to sustain.  I believe that Faith is the key to this sustenance.

Choice was simple, but hard to imagine until I become aware of Mind.  Awareness of Mind came from the selfless Contemplation of Experience.  Once Aware of Mind, I could exercise Choice by moving Mind to Heart.  Vulnerability and the rest of the sequence unfolded.

OK?  So one day, totally unprepared, I sat down to begin to work on a long-ish piece for Colin's Shadow thread, about holding all perspectives as sacrosanct, as distinct from the more fugitive “color” states.  As I often do, I put on music capable of “moving” me along emotionally.  I checked back and forth between the threads as I wrote - perfect practice for a dyslexic (heh heh) and stopped for a while on the evolving Pavlina excoriation going on over on c4's VA-tech debrief thread.  Some Divine Alchemy began to occur when I Contemplated the Grief involved.  Immediately, that Contemplation led to a still-intellectual/conceptual “thinking” about mass Grief within the Aids-Iraq-Sudan-Balkans-9/11-racism-nuclear waste-Holocaust-Armageddon paradigm.  I thought of the 2^nd Tier obligation to be (unfathomable to me at the time) responsible for “everything.”

I tell you true, that for months before this, I was experiencing protracted tearful episodes.  Alone, I was not ashamed or resistant and soon learned that when I shared these wonders with close friends, the tears would rise again, and again.  Always, mysteriously, the tears were accompanied by a distinct feeling of companion Joy.  Weird at first, it soon became routine, and noticeably “comfortable.”

So, I am right there on the edge, and Bruce Springsteen's “Philadelphia” ( RealAudio ) comes up.  Now, I know this song backwards and forwards, but this time something truly different began to unfold.  The opening bars keyed my awareness that I was about to “trip out” so to speak.  Something released in my endocrine system - not adrenaline, as it felt “different.”  Something else.  I was standing up and moving to the music when wave after building wave of Grief began rising within me.  It was not startling or unwelcome at all. Each successive wave of Grief was perfectly balanced with Joy.  I could feel the Joy encouraging the Grief to rise and Realized that it was far more than just self-Grief, and self-Joy.  Truly, words escape me to describe the emotional power unfolding.

As the song came to a close, the waves began to subside and I turned, involuntarily it seemed, to my picture of Gurumayi Chidvilasananda in her Puja in the kitchen.  I must have looked in quite the state to Her when I stumbled forward.  As a true Guru can do, She looked Her Compassionate best, Yearning for me to Realize that what had just happened was a function of Her Heart and my Heart, being one and the same.  Well, that did it for me and I dropped into full Pranam, kitchen floor and all.

Now, I see that I had prepared myself by contemplating the Virtues while fussing around “thinking” about the right sequence.  I had practiced the Allowance, Surrender, Vulnerability, Self-Trust, Faith part enough to feel pretty comfortable with that.  When, stage set, the opportunity arose, I guess it just went into action on its own.  Jai Spirit!

For the first time in my life, I felt what it was like to be in the Purity of Service.

What a phenomenal Blessing to Share such with you all.  You MUST know that I could not be here without all of your Loving Affection.  I empty my Heart to you.  Self-Love Arises.

Yer ever-lovin' pal,

Michael

Re: Integral Despairwork and the Work That Reconnects

Looking forward to diving into this material and see what comes up for me.  I did resonate with tonglen which I have been attempting to practice for a couple of months.  It would be interesting to take this practice and connect to nature and then see what presents itself.   I do know the deeper the practice has become, the deeper my connection to myself and my surreroundings have become. 

The other day I was wondering why I was greiving the loss of something I had let go of nearly a year ago and then followed that grief to the tonglen I had been practicing.  Even though they were not really 'related' they were certainly connected.

Thank you Balder for this opportunity to deepen my awarness of a practice I had just begun.

Re: Integral Despairwork and the Work That Reconnects

Bruce I just read your essay. It was a wonderful one, moving from the depths of our personal and collective pathology, to our secret sense of unworthiness, to the love at the core of all this, to the breath connecting us to the real we space, to the View that allows us to bear the pain.

Let me ask one question about the View that “is vaster than we usually entertain, and yet so intimate that it is closer to us than our bruised and tender hearts”. This sounds like Big Mind. What about Big Heart, the View that is “all fullness and tenderness”, that is every texture of pain….?

Love
Gitanjali

Re: Integral Despairwork and the Work That Reconnects

Hi, Gitanjali,

That is a good, and very important, point:  Big Heart is as important as Big Mind.  Big Mind allows space for the fullest expression of Big Heart.

Warm wishes,

Balder

Re: Integral Despairwork and the Work That Reconnects

Wonderful, Bruce.

I just so love what you've provided for us in this thread, such a deeply caring response to the cries of pain and grief coming from the Faces thread …. it's as if you've breathed in the sorrow and anguish there and breathed out this wonderful offering.

I feel very blessed by this , because the apatheia you / Joanna Macy reference is less in my shadow than it was, but still in its penumbra …  that and some level of giving up … it's all gone too far … or .. someone else will take it on, it's too much for me. So this is a lovely serendipity, an introduction to a perspective that I've managed to distance myself from so far. It's inspired me today to go and look up a friend who's done workshops with Joanna Macy and talk with her a little about her work …. also to borrow “Widening Circles” from her.

I too was impressed by your essay. I haven't got the wherewithal to work out how integrally correct it is, but if it does need bringing “up to date”, why don't you, and put it forward for KW's “Guest Blog” spot? …. mind you, I don't know if that's your cup of tea exactly : )

Gitanjali asked: ”Let me ask one question about the View that “is vaster than we usually entertain, and yet so intimate that it is closer to us than our bruised and tender hearts”. This sounds like Big Mind. What about Big Heart, the View that is “all fullness and tenderness”, that is every texture of pain….?”

I don't know if peeps in general know the origins of the tonglen practice, but it's aim is to work at diminishing “self-cherishing mind”. Wikipedia does give good information here, but I still don't think what it says (below) really captures the practice:

”In the practice, one visualizes taking onto oneself the suffering of others, and giving to others, one's own happiness and success. As such it is a training in altruism in its most extreme form. The function of the practice is to:

• reduce selfish attachment
• increase a sense of renunciation
• create positive karma by giving and helping
• develop loving-kindness and bodhicitta”

Re: Integral Despairwork and the Work That Reconnects

Hi, Lol, thank you.  I am not content enough with my present essay to send it in for publication somewhere, but I was thinking the other day that I would like to return in a more concentrated way to Joanna's work and explore it again, possibly writing a new article, or an improved version of the present one.  We'll see…

This evening, I wanted to share a beautiful poem by Thich Nhat Hanh which Joanna Macy often quotes…

Re: Integral Despairwork and the Work That Reconnects

Dear Lol

Thank you for explaining more about Tonglen. It is a truly beautiful practice just as it is.

But I bear in mind two things:

1) many practices come to us from a different era. our sense of “enlightenment” has changed over time (re: Ken, emptiness…nonduality…playing with the non-dual)

2) most articulated paths handed down to us are “masculine paths”.

So I ask is there more to tonglen today than there was in yesteryear?

Many feminine beings are attracted to expressing their being through fullness-compassion not equanimity.

They want to feel the texture of sorrow and dance it out in their body and through their tears.

They want to take those sorrowful feelings all the way to bliss.

This is not equanimity. And yet, so little articulated in most paths isnt it?

Our image of buddhism remains the calm smiling bodhisattva image. Women in that tradition…a loving wise grandma.

What about the passionate, bare breasted bare hearted one? too dramatic?

Yes, we have the dakinis but they seem to be a sideshow. I want the masculine and feminine to merge at the core.

Time to shake up the sitting adepts!!!


Love Gitanjali

Re: Integral Despairwork and the Work That Reconnects

Gitanjali, have you read Passionate Enlightenment?  Miranda Shaw argues that the role of women in Tantric Buddhism has been misunderstood, and that women actually played quite an active role in its emergence as a “passionate path of enlightenment.”

But even if this the case…that's not to say that there isn't a need for many more such passionately enlightened and enlightening women today…

Re: Integral Despairwork and the Work That Reconnects

Hi Balder, I am intending to order it soon….

I wonder how many buddhists recognise her thesis? and yes, even if they do, we do need a new emergence today…perhaps it is already in train?

Its not the only thing we need but its one of the things I am most interested in…

Gitanjali

Re: Integral Despairwork and the Work That Reconnects

Balder, yer killin me…

so heerza slice of my ongoing despair work…

…every inch of this thread compels me as yer others much like it have been doing

the things you have been writing along these lines are so filled with syncronicities i am speechless and dizzy…

and not just in the shallow dreamy ways…but practically, vocationally, and otherwise…i am already up to my ears in this emergentC

and while i am mostly a visual artist, i am also currently studying and practicing ways to serve our world in its dying from what i consider to be an integral perspective…and i am dying to share what i am learning and doing …  but i can mostly only currently bring myself to speak of them…things are changing way too fast to get the words perfect…there is too much work to be done….and we need to deeply integrally INfluence each other now …and perhaps even rapidly

so i offer this tad confession and complaint …
…about how it is becoming harder and harder for me to write these years
and so i feel as if i cannot hope to keep up or participate here via mere writing

this is where i currently suck

but i read…and i lurk and i read…and i learn and am given windows into soul through this place…and i sure do especially miss you here whom i have met in the flesh…mary, liz, liz, arthur..and others

i am fascinated and enlightened by our types of long written conversations that often transpire over days and weeks…truly amazing things to behold

…but surely this is not the only communication channel worth tapping into …

i mean…why does it seem as if there is only always silence whenever i suggest this community tries more live real-time engagement?

…surely there are ways to meet live and in-person that free us from expense of airfares and hotels and such…that spare the world from the energetic cost of doing such things such conventional ways

i beg of you, my friends here, to somehow consider integrating live virtual conversations with these hypertextual threads around these topics … at least so my self and others can contribute in the ways where we are more able, and seemingly more suited for…among other things

i have already seen …and i predict …that this community of friendship will mind blowiingly deepen from just that kind of shift …by at least adding a live element to what you are already doing so well

not sure what else to say about all this right now

except that i am here to help…but i am not able to spend a whole lot of time helping via writing

so i just hope ive “said” something worth “hearing” to some one

plz forgive if not

foolishly…
+ODD

Re: Integral Despairwork and the Work That Reconnects

Hi, Todd,

It's great to hear from you.  I'd love to hear more about the work you are doing and the synchronicities that are arising for you.

About connecting in real time:  This forum has webchat software, but I've never seen people using it.  At least, the room is always empty when I peek in there.  We could make arrangements from time to time to get together.  Maybe have a pod-wide fireside:  a time when we agree each week, or each day, to log in and connect in a different way.

I-I Zaadz Webchat

Worth a try. 

Best wishes,

B.

Re: Integral Despairwork and the Work That Reconnects

+ODD,

I see no foolishness here.  How hard could this be?  Conference calls are easy to set up.  Moderators can facilitate.  Ass-talkers like, ummmm … er… .ah …me, for instance can be held to the two minute rule.  Themes can be thread-discussed, Mods can draw lots for talking-stick sequence.  Questions can be submitted via pm to the Mod and put before the convo attendees for discussion.  Impatient interrupters can do Tonglen to help settle down.  It might take two Mods in the same place to handle both the discussion and the incoming questions.  How hard could this be?  An hour or so is not all that expensive.  A pay pal acct could be set up to accomodate or we could hook up and go for it with Vonnage or some such, cameras and all.  The phone does level the playing field for the technophobe however.

+ODD, I hear ya dude.  The warmth of voice is missed.  Writers rule in the current format, esp. ass-talking writers - not too fair to the less literally inclined.  Stifling arises.

yer pal,
Michael

Re: Integral Despairwork and the Work That Reconnects

nice to meet you in chat, Michael and Balder

Michael, your bubbling imagination and intuition seems right on track with what i have been doing for months now…

may i suggest that someone at least starts a wikispace prior to a live gathering
…a sort of basecamp for capturing and arranging and cultivating this creative and reflective information that may not come through the live interaction in any sort of linear order

also, for immediate traction and an immediate reason to practice
…maybe focus the initial topics on things like “how might we do this kind of live virtual thing?”

and plz invite/enlist me should someone arrange a live pod
…or if you need help over a hump

i'll be around

Re: Integral Despairwork and the Work That Reconnects

+ODD,

I know crap about setting up a wiki-space but I think it would be a good idea to help track the variables and I agree that the first call or couple of calls should focus on the how/what part.  Obviously, we have no lack of subject matter.  It would be cool to see a regular weekly opportunity to evolve - weekends would be good.  I get the sense that Global time would provide a window of mutual convenience. 

Anybody have the wherewithall out there to spot the window?  I have tried to think about it, but my dyslexia just runs wild.  I am wide open to time and available from 7am Alaska Standard time to 10pm.  AK time is one hour west of Pacific standard, 4 hours from Eastern, 5 hrs from end-of-the-road Labrador, and (I think) 9 hours earlier than London.  Its friggin” Australia I can't figure.  Aren't the clocks upside down there?

yer pal,
Michael

Re: Integral Despairwork and the Work That Reconnects

Would y'all mind moving the discussion of chat technology to another thread?  I'm feeling a little touchy about this thread going nowhere, in terms of the topic, and yet still collecting posts…

Re: Integral Despairwork and the Work That Reconnects

Hi all –

Bruce, that is a wonderful paper on the work of Joanna Macy. Too bad you think it's not ready for publication! I think you are being far too hard on yourself. That's what you write in a hurry, trying to make a deadline? <Insert preferred expletive here!> Methinks you need more deadlines, then. They can work fer us and not agin us, ya know …

+odd, I hear ya, and we miss ya too. And I'm noticing this tendency you have lately to apologize for what you're saying in your posts, but I don't think any apologies are necessary! You're making great points – it would be great for us to find other ways to interact and to meet live and in person across the cyberplains. Maybe C 4 Cybersavvy could hip us to ways of doing that here at II-Zaadz – I'll drop him a line. (And I'm wondering if those pod webchats are just not fully hooked up yet, as I've never seen people participating in them … will have to check them out anew.)

Todd, you mention that it's hard for you to do these hypertextual writings and Michael mentions that writers “rule” here –oh how true – and as a writer myself it would actually do me good to find ways to connect with integrally-friendly others that didn't always (or at least almost always) involve this kind of “letter writing” on a screen, and reading long threads to keep up with what has been said. It would mean I'd get my book done faster! And actually get out more, out as in outside, active, moving around. But damn, you all can be so addictive …

Thanks for “foolishly” piping in, Todd. (Todd is an amazing conversationalist, y'all! I sense that his difficulty with writing is that the ideas are just blooming and flowing so fast and wild from the wild child! I would love to hear a dialogue between him and KW …)

Love and gratitude to all,

Mary

Re: Integral Despairwork and the Work That Reconnects

thank you my dear sister mary

…wondering what what might happen if we and whomever else were to play at ways of talking on the phone while reading what we write here…

…to see how it might somehow become a vital component in, well…our integral despairwork and our own reconnections

…or some such thing

Re: Integral Despairwork and the Work That Reconnects

Scheduling a web chat would be cool. During the weekend would be best of course. If it's early afternoon PST (for example 3 pm), then it's late evening in Europe and early morning in Australia. We could even try it out this weekend, preferably on Saturday to give all continents a chance to participate.

For conference calls Skype is 100% free, all we need are headsets and each others usernames. Web chats have a tendency to be… chatty, but conference calls can be used consciously to explore a certain topic.


peace
pelle

Re: Integral Despairwork and the Work That Reconnects

Hey peeps

Webchats is an awesome idea, nice one Balder! 

For the first time yesterday I used Skype.  I'm thinking this could be an even better option if people were serious about setting up ragular group dialogues.

Its a chat utilitiy like MSN, but with the added coolness that you can use audio - just like a phone call, its all the rage apparently but I've only just caught up.

I'm due to be using it tomorrow night with audio, with a guy in Germnay so can let oyu know how good it is.  You can invite as many people as you want into the call as far as I understand.

Its still not real world contact, but its better than black and white words!  As an aside, I wrote this blog yesterday…just poured out of me - out of pure love and frustration for you all.

Ewan

Re: Integral Despairwork and the Work That Reconnects

haha, just saw your post that slipped in before mine…great minds my friend, great minds ;)

Re: Integral Despairwork and the Work That Reconnects

yeah I laughed when I saw that. Great minds indeed :P

With good headsets, Skype works great. The sound is perfect across continents.
One bad headset can affect the sound quality of a conference call though, so it's best not to get cheapest model.

To start us off: webchat (typing that is) in this pod on Saturday 3 pm Pacific Standard Time.


peace
pelle

Re: Integral Despairwork and the Work That Reconnects

Pelle

Awesome, I'll be there.  Any particular topic, or are we going for a nice green free-for all? ;)

Will check out my gear with skype, i dont have a headset, but i have plenty of audio recording equipment I reckon i can probably cobble together :)  I reckon I'll be sounding sweet and succulent through one of my nice vocal mics :)

Ewan

Re: Integral Despairwork and the Work That Reconnects

I think the webchat idea – and planning for such – is great, and I totally welcome Todd's (all-too-rare) popping in here – but it is interesting that probably half of the conversation on this thread has little to do with its topic.  Given that one of the themes of this topic is how we modern individuals tend to ignore this elephant in the living room…….

Re: Integral Despairwork and the Work That Reconnects

Hi Gitanjali

Loved your post. I resonate with it possibly more than you realise. And I certainly don't want to argue against anything you've said …. but I would like to add some thoughts :)

”Many feminine beings are attracted to expressing their being through fullness-compassion not equanimity.

They want to feel the texture of sorrow and dance it out in their body and through their tears.

They want to take those sorrowful feelings all the way to bliss.

This is not equanimity. And yet, so little articulated in most paths isnt it?”

First off, the part I've emboldened. This is coming more and more into my life as life comes more and more into me. I have no doubt my feeling “function” is developing quite strongly now. This morning my Jungian therapist described the feeling function as a quality of discernment, coming from the Heart, of the true value of something … I really felt the validity of this. If we discern something's true value how can sorrow … and joy … ever be anything but close by, if we're not already present to them?

I was dancing last night at a great weekly 5 Rhythms class …. was in touch with how I've been feeling my Mars energy restricted of late, dancing that through me …. othertimes I'll dance my sorrow, if that's what I'm with.

I also dance a sacred dance, called the Vajra Dance, where male and female dancers meet face to face at various places on the mandala …. the first of these meetings is in standing yab/yum (m/f) embrace. And one interesting point to make is that people are encouraged to learn and dance the opposite gender's way of dancing, once they've mastered or mistressed their own, that is …. so you may find yourself in ecstatic embrace with a person of the same sex (but that can happen in the 5 Rhythms too!!). I've always experienced hugely powerful feelings, emotions dark and light, arising up within me and passing through, self-liberating in the presence-of-awareness that this dance fosters. Which brings me to equanimity, because when I referred to that re. the tonglen practice, this was simply about the intention in the practice to not discriminate between enemy and friend when sending out the light. A conceptual idea of equanimity I can imagine somehow producing a sense of things being bland or neutral. As a “jewel ornament” of the already-always natural state, true equanimity will never contradict or suppress any form of expression. When Marpa, considered to be an enlightened master, was seen weeping at the sight of his son's dead body, killed “in his prime” in an accident, someone was reported to have said … Why are you weeping, I thought everything was supposed to be an illusion …. to which Marpa is said to have replied … Yes, but he's a super-illusion.

My own teacher wrote how in one of his many dreams where he's visited other realms or dimensions to be given teachings that he is meant to transmit in this our world (for example, this is how he received the teaching of the Vajra Dance, being taken by dakhinis to a place where there was a mandala, so they could teach him the steps and gestures) he once met his own master, who led him through a building where he witnessed dakhas (male) and dakhinis in explicit sexual acts… not just a thangka painting. At this time my teacher, although a layman, was still living and studying in the monastery, and felt a little embarrassed at what he was witnessing. In the dream his master joked with him, saying he needed to loosen up a little, words to that effect …. this is an aspect of equanimity too.

”So I ask is there more to tonglen today than there was in yesteryear?”

I think one could only find the answer to that in the practising of it. I'm certainly all for Joanna Macy's “Breathing Through” practice … and I understand the reasons fwhy it's been adapted from the “traditional” tonglen practice. However, “traditional” tonglen works to weaken attachment and self-cherishing, which can only be a positive thing in view of how easy it is for us to fall prey to narcissism, or get attached to our feelings.And it's always been referenced as a “relative level” practice that is as transformationally powerful as Vajrayana (Buddhist tantra) practice …. it has been said to have cured the leprosy of people who have practised it strongly.

”Yes, we have the dakinis but they seem to be a sideshow. I want the masculine and feminine to merge at the core.”

I hope you were whispering when you said that …. otherwise you risk them paying you a visit and slicing off your skull cap with their razor-sharp cleavers before using it to drink menstrual blood out of! The dakinis never have and never will be a side-show …. they've always got at least equal centre stage. And check out the two depicted on this Wiki page …. Senge Dongma or Sinhamukha (lion-headed) is a Queen of the Dakinis  …. btw that's a bloke she's dancing on : ) ….  whereas Vajrayogini (also depicted here, both alone and in embrace with her consort Heruka Chakrasamvara) is dancing on a male and female form. Nevertheless, all dakinis are never separate from her consort … if depicted “solo” the dakini carries a katvangha in the crook of her left arm, which is her consort in different form …. so her masculine is merged / at-one with her feminine at core. Likewise of course Sambhoghakaya male forms such as Chakrasamvara are always at-one with their feminine.

Btw, did I mention that I'm passionate about dakinis? : )

Here's a good account of the dakini Niguma (no sideshow this one!) courtesy of “The Dalai Lamas on Tantra” : Glen H. Mullin.

“This, as it is said here, the mighty yogi Khyungpo Naljor, who gained both conventional and supreme realizations and actualized inconceivable spiritual liberation, visited the holy lands of India and Nepal seven times, taking with him five hundred measures of gold. Here he traveled throughout the ten directions in search of a teacher who had gained final realization and had achieved direct communion with the Enlightened Ones. All the panditas and mahasiddhas whom he met unanimously advised him to try to meet Niguma, a female disciple of Mahasiddha Naropa. Niguma, they told him, had achieved the three pure stages and had the ability to communicate with the Buddha Vajradhara at will.

“Where does Niguma live?” he asked.

They answered, “If one's perception is pure, one can see her anywhere, whereas if one's perception is not pure, she simply cannot be found; for she dwells on the pure stages and has achieved the holy rainbow body. However, when the dakinis gather to make tantric feasts in the great cemetery of the Sosaling Forest, she sometimes physically appears.”

Merely on hearing Niguma's name tears came to Khyungpo Naljor's eyes and every hair on his body trembled with excitement. He left immediately for the Sosaling Cemetery, reciting the Namo Buddhaya mantra of Mahakala as he went.

Khyungpo Naljor thought to himself, “Surely this is Niguma,” and he prostrated to her, circumambulated, and requested her to give him her perfect teachings.

The Dakini looked at him ferociously and replied, “I am a flesh-eating demoness. When my retinue arrives you will be in great danger. They will surely devour you. You must quickly flee.”

Again Khyungpo prostrated, circumambulated, and requested to be given tantric teachings. The Dakini retorted, “To receive the Mahayana tantric teachings requires a great deal of gold. With gold, however, it can be done.”

Khyungpo Naljor offered her the five hundred measures of gold dust that he had brought with him. To his surprise, although the Dakini accepted the gold she immediately threw it into the forest.

Khyungpo Naljor thought to himself, “Certainly this is the Dakini herself, for she discards such a quantity of gold without remorse.”

The Dakini then cast a glance toward the heavens and pronounced the syllable “HRIK.” Instantly countless dakinis appeared in the sky. Some erected three-level mandala palaces; others prepared mandalas of colored powders; and others collected the requisites of a tantric feast.

On the evening of the full moon, the Dakini gave him the initiations of the illusory body and dream yoga transmissions. Then by means of the Dakini's magical ability, he was levitated into the sky, and found himself sitting on a small mound of gold dust with a host of dakinis circling in the sky above him. Four rivers of gold flowed down the mountain, one in each of the four directions.

Khyungpo was amazed: “Does this golden mountain actually exist in India, or is it merely a magical creation of the Dakini?”

The Dakini replied:

All the things in samsaric existence
That are colored by attachment and aversion
Are to be seen as noninherently existent.
Then all places are seen as a land of gold.
When we meditate upon the illusionlike nature
Of all the illusionlike phenomena,
We attain illusionlike buddhahood;
This is achieved through the power of appreciation.

The Dakini advised him, “Accept my blessings and watch your dreams carefully.”

That night he dreamed that he traveled to the land of gods and demigods. An extremely large demigod appeared to him and instantly swallowed him. The Dakini appeared in the sky and admonished him not to awaken but to hold the dream clearly. This he did, and in his dream the Dakini gave him the initiations of the Six Yogas.

The Dakini informed him, “In all of India you are the only yogi ever to receive the complete instructions of the Six Yogas in a single session of sleep.” After he woke up she gave him three transmissions of the Six Yogas, a transmission of The Vajra Verses, The Stages of the Illusory Path, the initiations of the nine-deity mandala of Hevajra, and the thirteen-deity mandala of the Well-Armed One as well as the transmissions of the tantric scriptures The Tantra of Two Forms, The Vajra Song, The Samphuta Tantra, and associated sadhanas, the oral traditions of the Well-Armed One and Kalachakra, the whispered transmission of the four suchnesses, the traditions of the white and red Vajrayoginis, the methods of removing obscurations with the four classes of tantras, the five levels of the Chakrasamvara completion stage techniques for controlling the mystic drops of the genetic force, the activities of The Tantra of the Diamond Sky Dancer, and so forth. In brief, the Wisdom Dakini taught him countless tantras, sadhanas, and oral traditions.

Concerning this tradition, the Dakini herself personally told Khyungpo, “With the exception of myself and the mahasiddha Ivawapa, there is nobody in India today who understands these initiations and transmissions. These should be passed on a one-to-one guru-disciple transmission for seven generations. Only after these seven generations should they be given openly.”

In this way the dakini Niguma transmitted the complete instructions of the Six Yogas with the root and branch traditions to Khyungpo Naljor.

This then is the source of the lineage of the profound instruction known as the Six Yogas of Niguma that gives quick and easy enlightenment in one short lifetime.”

Re: Integral Despairwork and the Work That Reconnects

Just read through the account of Niguma and came across the reference to”the mahasiddha Ivawapa“   ROFL !!

Re: Integral Despairwork and the Work That Reconnects

Lol

I loved reading your post this morning, while I listened to a kind of dakini song: Sara Vaughn/Gotan project

Whatever Lola wants lola gets
I always get what I aim for
And your heart and soul is what I came for
youre no exception to the rule
I'm irresistible, you fool..give in…

:)

Hey….Lol? Lola?

synchronicities

You opened my eyes about what true equa nimity is

Which brings me to equanimity, because when I referred to that re. the tonglen practice, this was simply about the intention in the practice to not discriminate between enemy and friend when sending out the light.. A conceptual idea of equanimity I can imagine somehow producing a sense of things being bland or neutral. As a “jewel ornament” of the already-always natural state, true equanimity will never contradict or suppress any form of expression.

It is about embracing it all. Not as a bland soup of mush.Highly differentiated. Thats it. Thats what I was wanting.

And this story is beautiful!  How finally words break down in the face of the Real ….

When Marpa, considered to be an enlightened master, was seen weeping at the sight of his son's dead body, killed “in his prime” in an accident, someone was reported to have said … Why are you weeping, I thought everything was supposed to be an illusion …. to which Marpa is said to have replied … Yes, but he's a super-illusion.

I hear you on the Dakinis. And today will have to do many kneelings to have framed them thus. But deep down my soul is with them.

Why does Ken's project have few if any dakinis?

Love
Gitanjali

Re: Integral Despairwork and the Work That Reconnects

Offtopic again, sorry Balder.


Gitanjali:
Whatever Lola wants lola gets
I always get what I aim for
And your heart and soul is what I came for
youre no exception to the rule
I'm irresistible, you fool..give in…

We dance tango to that song!
I played it myself last Sunday at the seaside milonga.

Re: Integral Despairwork and the Work That Reconnects

:))) I can see it would be a fab song to dance tango to….

Re: Integral Despairwork and the Work That Reconnects

Dear Bruce,

Thanks for sharing that poem by Thich Nhat Hahn …. it is beautiful.

I think this equally beautiful poem by Judyth Hill is a little more on topic than of late : )

Wage Peace
by Judyth Hill, September 11, 2001

Wage Peace with your breath.

Breathe in firemen and rubble.
Breathe out whole buildings and flocks of red-wing blackbirds.

Breathe in terrorists
Breathe out sleeping children and fresh mown fields.

Breathe in confusion and breathe out maple trees.

Breathe in the fallen and breathe out life long relationships intact.

Wage peace with our listening: hearing sirens, pray loud.

Remember your tools: flower seeds, clothing pins, clean rivers.

Make soup.

Play music; learn the word “thank you” in 3 languages.

Learn to knit: make a hat.

Think of chaos as dancing raspberries.

Imagine grief
as the outbreak of beauty or gesture of fish.

Swim for the other side.

Wage peace.

Never has the word seemed so fresh and precious.

Have a cup of tea and rejoice.

Act as if armistice has already arrived.

Celebrate today.

Re: Integral Despairwork and the Work That Reconnects

Beautiful, Lol, thank you.

For anyone interested in further exploring the alternative ways of “connecting” we've been discussing in this thread, I've started a new thread:

New Ways to Connect: Webchat, Skype…?