Role Models

Hello all,

The idea for this thread is a side effect of the discussion on Naomi Wolf elsewhere on this pod.  Ewan and I were commenting on how much young people seem lost these days.  Ewan used the metaphor of the “green swamp” which seems quite apt.

No doubt on of the most important responsibilities we have is to act as healthy role models for the children in our communities - not just our own kids.

If you have any ideas, suggestions, real-life stories - please share them here!

Frans

Re: Role Models

My own experience has been with a mens group that I've been part throughout my adolecence and early childhood.  The men there are all old enough to be my dads, and ineed have acted as such in many varied and incedible ways as I have grown up.

The group itself sprang out of the Men's movement, and more specificaly the idea of Rights of Passage.  Now the Men's movement had its issues - retro-romantic pre/trans confusions mainly.  However, what it was really good at, was understanding how important the transition into adulthood is for young men (although it sometimes got a bit side tracked by the tribal versions - leadinf to pre/trans messyness).  

I think you can extend all that into the importance of older men being part of young boys/teenagers lives.  I don't have as much experiencial knowledge on the situation for girls - but I'm sure there are many, many crossovers.

The big area I can really see integral helping with, is the problem of non-maculinity in green culture.  As a young guy - having strong masculine role models is fucking vital - and green is notoriously crap at providing these.  Whether its green dads with no balls, or lesbian couples, or single mums, the lack of masculine father figures is a big problem.


Ewan

Re: Role Models

Yeah I was in a Robert Bly mythopeic mens group for ten years - we hit drums instead of talking to each other ;-) - we talked about being elders and providing role models to young men alot. No east answers, I struggled with this with my own step kids

Re: Role Models

Hi Frans

I try to contribute at the level of community.

For the last six years I have run a 'programme' in a local Catholic primary school called 'Moving Up'. It is aimed at year 6 kids (age 10-11) in preparation for moving to secondary school. I do an hour a week with them for 20 weeks using a non-academic style (in the school hall, flipcharts + BIG marker pens, drama, games, prizes, poster design, relaxation techniques etc). I try to make it fun and different to the classroom approach taken in school.

I give them work to do outside my sessions so they can take it back home or into their own community rather than it just being something they do in school. This bit is not as successful as I would like but it's a start.

The end result is supposed to be more assertive kids who go to High School more confident and prepared. In reality different kids will take different things depending upon where they're coming from. The moment that most brings a lump to my throat is the time when one boy with severe emotional problems came back the week after we'd done relaxation techniques jumping for joy about the fact he'd used them and it had worked despite his Mum laughing at him. This boy had not participated through any of the other sessions, choosing instead to simply draw horrific pictures of decapitation, killing and  mutilation.

I love doing it it's great fun.

My next adventure is to start doing a yoga for kids session as an after school activity in my youngest son's school in a couple of weeks. Eek! I'll let you know how it goes - anyone else already do this? Any tips?

Juliee

Re: Role Models

I taught kids mindfullness for years, in the theatre workshops.

Here is a email excerpt from a then five year old now 15 year old I got a couple of months ago:

“I remember so much from those rehearsals … The up swing down press, excersies, while walking on a straight line to conserve energy [his interpretation] is still something I do before every performance. It always relaxes me and causes me to go and give it my all once on stage. Lol, in fact, I often call the entire cast into the rehearsal hall and make them do it with me.  … I also still gather my closest friends on stage, so we can circle up and pray before each performance.”

Not bad, eh?

Re: Role Models

Ewan, juliee, Tim,

Can you all please move to Canada and play a part in the upbringing of Elise?

Frans

Re: Role Models

Haha, i'll expect a salery fitting for a turquoise au pair :)

Re: Role Models

Hey Ewan - you'd be paid in wide open spaces - or is that a stereotype on my part?

Juliee

x

Re: Role Models

You know what though?

I think the only thing that would excite me about teaching once again would be that the teaching would be of children of second-tier, and even better, Integral -parents. No fooling. That would excite me in a minute. Anything else? I burned myself out five-six year ago now and at this point still cannot say if that excitment will ever come back again. (The feeling, instead, is rather the opposite if not something worse.)  Although, yeah, kids present their own … erm, “challenges,” and one can get tired of the same patterns arising again and again (obviously the negative ones) that come with immaturity, it is the parents that did me in. No question about it.

The kis? They can and will learn. This is exciting. The parents? Or even just the general “adults” … ?

Yeah, if we all lived in the same place and there arose interest in my teaching services, no question, it would excite me and it would be an honor.

Anywhere else?

I think I'll stay focused on writing and on prospects for work with professionals.

Wow. I certainly never thought or intended to post this.  But, I will leave it here anyway. It's part of the reality of this challenge. Rug burns, scars, weary broken spirit and all. It's hard enough to operate in the first tier world. Ten times harder to operate in the world of the first tier world's kids.

Ach. I promise next time I will post something more uplifting! But it has been useful to process this aspect here for a moment.

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Here is another email from a former student I happened across - to put things back in a positive direction. These little messages mean so much:

“… i think now more than ever on the lessons that you taught me..in some ways i think … i was battling all of the issues in my life so much that it was almost as if my head was to thick or polluted to receive what you were saying..but understand, it does matter..it did matter, you made me think, even if it is now 5 or 10 years later (my god i think its even more!!) … thank you for ALWAYS opening my eyes …”


Can't put a price on that.

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Glad you found a positive antidote.

I know what you mean about the parents. All three of our boys have been part of the junior soccer scene, the eldest is still regularly involved. The youngest boy (8) recently tried out yet another team and it brought back all the horrors of parents' behaviours at these things and the coaches too. I was sooo pleased when he decided it still wasn't for him. He's now trying gymnastics, loves it ANNND there are no parents involved at this level!!!

Although experiencing these things does give us real-life examples to talk about with the kids as to “Why does suchabody's Dad do that to him?”. But I spent so much time at the opposite end of the pitch I no doubt got a reputation as a snotty bitch.
Ah well. I can live with that rather than absorb all that negative energy.

Juliee