Aikido and Verbal Aikido

Recently I had an insight into “verbal Aikido,” based on my own embryonic practice of Aikido the (trans)martial art.

In Aikido two terms that are often used are nage (“The partner who executes the technique, literally, 'thrower'”) and uke (“Person being thrown or receiving the technique…at high levels of practice, the distinction between uke and nage becomes blurred…”)

If someone tries to attack me, they invite me to take up the role of nage, the person executing the technique. My job, as nage, is, first, to recognize that at a deep level there is no attack; second, I need to protect uke – the person receiving the technique – as well as myself.

As nage I need to draw uke into my center, so that I can take control of the energetic flow and bring it to a harmonious resolution. If I instead enable uke to draw me into their center, I give control of the situation over to them. (Which might be OK if they see their role as being to protect me, but if they see their role as being to destroy me, I'm fucked.) 

What occurred to me recently is that this exact process happens in other areas of my life as well. If I'm involved in some kind of altercation with someone and something they say or do triggers me, then in that moment I have allowed them to draw me into their center – and consequently I'm much less able to interact in a mutually-beneficial way. I'm destabilized, out of control, my options are a lot more limited, and I'm much more likely to actually attack the person and inflict harm because I feel threatened on a visceral or existential level (I'm also, of course, more vulnerable to being harmed myself). 

Ideally I remain firmly grounded, meet the person energetically, see or feel with clarity what is best in the interaction, and act accordingly. Identifying with the universal Ground of Being, the Mystery, the Tao - call it what you will - I move them around “my” center. But once I'm emotionally triggered I'm drawn into the other person's center, and things have, shall we say, “moved in the direction of badness.”

In the dojo, I find it very challenging indeed to put this into practice; outside the dojo, in interactions with people, I find it orders of magnitude more challenging again. But the cool thing is that in the dojo – at least on a good day – I can feel it happening physically and energetically, and I can practice working with that – and because I had this insight, I'm a little more aware on a visceral, bodily and energetic level when this is happening in interactions outside the dojo as well.

That's an example of how my Aikido practice flows back and forth between the dojo and the rest of my life, and how practicing in the dojo helps to cultivate a deeper, more embodied awareness in other contexts. I'm a total beginner on this path, and have much to learn - Aikido is an endless process of learning and integration.

With love and gratitude to Sensei Matt Fluty and to everyone I practice with at the Aikido Center dojo,

Arthur Gillard

Re: Aikido and Verbal Aikido

Hi Arthur!

I find this to be true myself… although I only took less than a year of Kung Fu/ Tai Chi (many moons ago ;-)  … perhaps I should say I find it to be true energetically and aim for it in practice!

Anyhoo… I also remember a book called Tongue Fu… that if I recall, was of a similar nature, notion….

I'm in a bit of a hurry… kind of a fly-bye post… I'm sure its on Amazon.

Bow,
Stacy