Om Amriteshwaryai Namaha

Return of the Prodigal Son:
http://multiplex.integralinstitute.org/Public/cs/forums/thread/5347.aspx

And I also have been the Enemy,
And this is the worst confession of all.
How many lifetimes does it take to hear
What the world has been trying to tell you?

Re: Om Amriteshwaryai Namaha

42.

arthur

Re: Om Amriteshwaryai Namaha

Thank you, dear Arthur. The mystery has been solved.

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Oh, man, I think I may be way over my quota.

Liz

Re: Om Amriteshwaryai Namaha

Yeah, but I don't think you're too terribly upset about it, darling.

That strange shadow that fell upon Jesus,
Not so much for the next life or men's sins,
As a monstrous impossibility 
Overcome by the sacrifice offered.

Re: Om Amriteshwaryai Namaha

I seem to have rediscovered the Lord.
Ever since composing the above verse
I have felt better than ever before.
Shouldn't I charge people for reading it?

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No, I'm not upset about it, and there's the problem, I think. I'm just not sick of it yet. My ego thinks it's a fine idea to keep coming back. It doesn't know I can never die. Sigh. Remember Dr. Doolittle? I think I'm a pushmepullyou.

Liz

Re: Om Amriteshwaryai Namaha

I don’t know how many times, but I know in this lifetime, I am attempting to do it all and understand it all NOW at once. It is definately obsessive and ego driven, perhaps that is why it has become a maddening process.

monica

Re: Om Amriteshwaryai Namaha

changing ambitions…

in high school: to live forever or die trying
more recently: to die before I die, so that when I die, I don't die

and at this exact moment: savoring samsara, even though the candy's hollow

Which of course raises the question: how long 'till the orgy's over?  and where's the wine that makes me sober?

hmm.

but some sugar hides its price
and every lick's another wife… [sic bastard glorius mundi]

-twisted arthic

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Frankly, my friends, it's all about the pain.
Can a beggar by choosing be a king?
Many have tasted the wine of the gods.
When Kali kills you, you won't die again.

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I met an old Hawaiian on the beach
Searching the sands for lost treasures and coins,
A spear head at his throat and great green ring,
Ancestors even in the Indians.

Re: Om Amriteshwaryai Namaha

Imposters of the deep, this phrase in my head,
Way back when I was a wretched schoolboy
Trudging through the rain in bare feet somehow,
Older girls looking at me in dismay.

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Yes, that was it, I was thinking of fish,
I was soaked with muddy boots in my hands,
Repeating the strange words portentously,
Probably blubbering pitifully.

Re: Om Amriteshwaryai Namaha

If it wasn't something you had to do,
Who in his right mind would run this gauntlet?
The punishment must be worth the reward
Either in this life or in some other.
 

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There is no death, but I must be careful
Not to reach that place and look back ashamed
That there were little things I could have done
Of huge importance on the other side.

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Hey Arthur, don't forget….

Klingon ambition:

To die with eyes open

(I remember in the Star Trek TNG series that Whorf used that saying…thought it was way cool)

Keith

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Thou shalt not slave for the devil, dummy.
Better you should be a trash collector
Than ride shotgun with His Dainty Lordship.
He's a nice enough guy, but he's a prick.

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Yay, my favorite Pharao!

Coolness abounds,

Maschahugs

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I hardly dared hope I could wrest you away
From your favorite forum, dear Mascha.
I bow to your soul and hope you will stay,
You archangel who sails the akasha.

Re: Om Amriteshwaryai Namaha

Every instinct told me he was a shark.
Why am I attracted to these monsters?
How many buckets of blood do I bleed
Before I pass these fluff balls down the line.

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Is it because of the lure of easy money?

Just taking a wild stab in the dark,

Mwah!

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Interesting point. Initially I dismissed it completely. Now I wonder if that isn't exactly what it is about.

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These clever, juvenile thrillers I read
Are at least onto something about intrigue.
As nothing is quite what you think you see,
Enlightenment deepens the mystery.

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Even if you succeed in being chaste,
Purity is not what it seems to be.
In that sweet, secret place deep in your soul
The desire is there to fuck your brains out.

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Again with the purity.
Dirty dirty man.

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“Hey Arthur, don't forget….

Klingon ambition:

To die with eyes open

(I remember in the Star Trek TNG series that Whorf used that saying…thought it was way cool)

Keith”

An interesting point.

Especially the third eye…

arthur

Re: Om Amriteshwaryai Namaha

Liz, listen to me. You never listen to me.

I had to notice markings on a door,
Of no account but unmistakable.
Genius could not show Christ Crucified so,
In random slashes like falling branches.

In this silent grotto here in the woods
Fluttering leaves fall down like butterflies.
A happy puppy jumps into our laps
And looks deeply into my true love's eyes.

Re: Om Amriteshwaryai Namaha

From another thread because it should be here too:

Balder, I'm thrilled. Probably right around the time you were at darshan yesterday, my wife and I were sitting at a grotto we had hiked down to from an overlook, when we heard a loud cracking, and I looked up and saw branches falling high above us. We were surrounded by rocks. I covered my head but my wife scampered like a rabbit, tripped and fell further down, landing on rocks and breaking her foot. Large chunks of wood landed right where we had been sitting. I tried carrying her out and didn't get very far. There was no reception on my cell phone so I had to leave her and go back up to the top. A couple we had often greeted at the beach was sitting there, who kindly offered to go down and stay with her while I hiked back to the road to wait for the rescue team. While my wife was alone she started crawling up the trail and praying to Amma. She had some kind of profound religious experience.

I had been writing when this happened. I have begun to read to my wife what I write before I post it. I had been going over some lines with her and had reached an impasse. Falling branches provided the missing link.

Re: Om Amriteshwaryai Namaha

The call of primordial awareness,
Like a conch or a black ocean at night,
The magic of that word alone, rigpa,
Makes me long for it like a drug addict.

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Enlightenment is hating the guru,
The ecstatic betrayal of your vows,
Rapturous revenge in liberation,
And permanent orgasmic arrogance.

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Stop with all that hating.
We have been through this  before.
Everyone needs to mak e a buck somehow.
Why did you thing Gurus would differ?
chop wood, carry water.

and further:
sex smex
its the inside of the outside,
I am talking about sex here,
This is the portal to the divine.

or at least one of them…

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Where have you been? Do you think you can just disappear on me, and waltz back in when it suits you? And you have the nerve to answer my writing as if you actually knew what I was saying? As if you hadn't been gone at all?

Jane.

Let me tell you something.

I stand alone between Satan and your soul. Night after night, nothing but fasting and prayer and flagellation. Get down on your knees in gratitude, woman.

Now go.

And sin no more.

Re: Om Amriteshwaryai Namaha

I am using my wife's medication
Because she doesn't need it and I do.
There is peace in mantra meditation
And fascination in words that are true.

Re: Om Amriteshwaryai Namaha

Where have I been? Whaddya mean?  You are the one in the forest with trees falling on you….trying to answer that ancient koan, I suppose, and practically getting killed, all in the name of a sweet poetic phrase. I am sorry to hear of your wife's foot.

Me? I am hanging around, ubiquitous as the air…..there is no escaping, I figure, so I am paying attention.
I am here for the duration.

But further, as for you me and Satan….. All that stands between Satan and my soul is your frantic and pious-appeariing behaviour? oh, truer words may have never been spoken…..all the fasting and flagellation. what a fuss you have been making, keeping the puff in that puffball. 

Ramsses take off that mask. I want to see who is underneath.

And of course, it goes without saying:  I bow down.  My gratitude unending.

Re: Om Amriteshwaryai Namaha

I will be happy to take off my mask
And whack you over the head with it, Jane.
When you have taken a drink from my flask,
Like me, you will be completely insane.
.

Re: Om Amriteshwaryai Namaha

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Not hard. I got whacked hard. It's too painful. Did I ask for it? Maybe. Apparently nothing happens by accident. Falling branches.

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Fish in the water swim about
People in the world clamour
Knowing they should perform good deeds
They steel their hearts and continue to create bad karma
Piling up god and silver high as a mountain
When they die the whole things over
They go before Lord Yama with empty hands
Weeping with regret

Re: Om Amriteshwaryai Namaha

Fish in the water swim about
People in the world clamour
Knowing they should perform good deeds
They steel their hearts and continue to create bad karma
Piling up god and silver high as a mountain
When they die the whole things over
They go before Lord Yama with empty hands
Weeping with regret

Re: Om Amriteshwaryai Namaha

Just to be here now is the razor's edge.
What titanic discipline it requires
To stay in the Presence, to not be moved,
Despite the diabolical circus.

Re: Om Amriteshwaryai Namaha

Another of Jocelyn's songs….

 

PERFECT  ERROR

What do I try to say to you ? - I don't know.

How can I catch this word and send it out to you?

Half of a statement, Your response the other

Never completed, always completing, a dance

Well I try to be so correct 

Re: Om Amriteshwaryai Namaha

I bow deeply to you, illustrious one
You are like Rumi taken form again
Inspiring me to look deep in my own heart
Parroting Ch'an patriarchs will get me nowhere

Discipline yes
Mila grew callouses on his arse
But the razor doesn't ask for blood
Just to cut what keeps us separate

Re: Om Amriteshwaryai Namaha

Thank you, Ma Rig Pa, for your very fine compliment. I haven't read much Rumi but I know he is held in the highest esteem as a mystical poet. I'm sure he spoke from a higher state of consciousness than I have, and probably had samadhi, which I don't.

When I wrote that little piece yesterday, I was aware that it might be taken by you as a gentle rebuke. I was writing it as much to myself, and if anyone needed a rebuke, I did. What I mean by the razor's edge is the narrow path of constant self-discipline and self-awareness. I don't believe that building callouses from protracted meditation is necessarily required, although meditation, obviously, is very important. Life itself provides discipline enough. Nor do I believe that there is something you have to arrive at or attain, such as God. You are already there. The discipline and the challenge is to conduct yourself in a manner that cultivates that awareness. If you achieve an exalted state, well and good. But beware the delusion of prizing such states too highly.

Re: Om Amriteshwaryai Namaha

Hey bro, no rebuke felt (or taken). I kind of knew what you meant by the razor’s edge, but this is only the third poem I’ve written since primary school and I just went with the lines as they came full-formed, enjoying the heightened state I found myself in as words in your verse evoked different tangential ways to respond. I just don’t do this, man, and I loved it — part of the ‘it’ of course being feeling-clever!

I did enjoy the story when I heard it of Milarepa lifting his skirt and baring his calloused arse when asked once for advice on how to practice. I undoubtedly still project spiritual super-hero onto him but I’m definitely not cut out for the ascetic path, though the ghost of the fantasy still lingers.

And thanks for the homily ……. but I prefer your poetry!! Seriously, I love it, and look forward to it inspiring me further (hope I haven’t just put ‘the comentator’s curse’ on myself).

Lol

Re: Om Amriteshwaryai Namaha

Most people are just looking for themselves
In celebrity or blasphemous art,
And the guy who sells it turns out to be
More likeable than the few who seek God.

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Though I deceive myself endlessly
Samantabhadri keeps me true
When I'm scrambling around looking for purchase
She reminds me I own it already

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Yearning  to see your beautiful face
I forget your perfect form lies in all things
Softening the gaze two spaces become one
And your radiant nature shines from within

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I declare Amma to be my Savior,
Not because I wish to convert others,

But because the pain is so terrible

I have to practice the presence of God.

Re: Om Amriteshwaryai Namaha

What kind of pain is it that you are refering too? 
Describe it to me.

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Thank you, Doctor. Where shall I begin? Aside from the fact that it really is nothing, just  something that pops up occasionally when the conditions are ripe, which they are now quite often if not all the time, I should be flogged for daring to recite my litany of woes in light of the dependably egregious conduct of our great and noble democracy, propagating its unique brand of civil war, starvation and slaughter around the world, to the greater glory of political opportunism, the military industrial complex, and the obscene profits duly made and worshipped therein.

I need drugs. I had an extremely severe head injury some twenty years ago and my body is a wreck. What would you prescribe? Alcohol, tobacco and marijuana are no longer options. Cocaine never was. It's probably what I need.

Re: Om Amriteshwaryai Namaha

If you were over here I'd give you cranial sessions for free.
Well, you could always read me poetry over a cup of tea.

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You are too kind. I don't think the cranial sessions will do it. Do you like my poetry that much? This is new for me.

Here's a free session for you, Lol. Try to write your verse in a ten syllable line. Something mystical happens when you do that. It's a sacred space. When you find it, you'll recognize it.

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I do like your poetry. When I followed the link  back  to the Multiplex thread and read The Angelus I was gripped. I'm not a poetry buff and don't know what makes good poetry — I guess I just like what I like. And I like to hear people reading their own poetry.

One of my favourites in this regard is David Whyte. When he reads he often repeats a word, line or segment. Do you know this one, called “Tillicho Lake”? I'm including some repetition:

In this high place it is as simple as this
Leave everything you know behind
Everything
Leave everything you know behind
Step toward the cold surface
Say the old prayer of rough love
The old prayer
Say the old prayer of rough love
And open both arms.
Those who come with empty hands
Will stare into the lake astonished
Astonished
There in the cold light reflecting pure snow
The true shape of your own face.

It's not so much about how much I like your poetry, it's about liking what you're doing, bringing, contributing. You, and others who've made contact back, or whom I've witnessed giving to each other, I so easily project brother or sister or friend onto you/them because I want brothers, sisters and friends such as these, I want to be part of such a tribe.

Of course I don't know what you're all really like, what dark secrets are kept behind the curtain (whimper), you least of all noble Pharaoh, the man with no face, no name. So, pretty much a blank screen to project onto – but that's cool with me. Throw them out, reel them back in, on it goes.

Sorry to hear about your pain. Is it neuropathy? Gentle biodynamic craniosacral might still offer help – unless you know otherwise. You could check out  www.craniosacraltherapy.org -  I've heard good things about John and Anna Chitty for example.

Thanks for the advice, I'll give it a try. Tried it already redoing the last one, works for me. I'm not going to try for iambic pentameter though, reading (or should I say painfully and laboriously attempting to translate) Virgil's Aeneid at school was enough i p for one life.

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Lol, I've chosen to be relatively careful about my identity so as not to make myself too easy a target for the open expression of my feelings as a former devotee of Yogananda involved with his work. I have already provided more than enough detail about myself for anyone so inclined and sufficiently well informed in that organization to identify me. As for the absence an “avatar” (what a ridiculous name for that identifier), it is simply due to my pitifully limited computer skills. I'll try to upload some Egyptian art painted by my wife if I can get her to help me. I have toyed with idea of a suitably flattering digital photograph of myself if I ever get one. As for what we're all really like, I don't think that either you or I, or any one of us, will ever know that. And, as happy as I was to see what you look like, I must confess that I prefer your original image, my very favorite one of the eye of God in the Kosmos. Thanks for the info about the cranial therapy.

My latest whispers from eternity:

It's woman's beauty that fascinates me,
The elusive image of the divine:
Bondage to the world, worshipped with desire;
The only sacred scripture, seen with love.

Our bird comes back and sings on the railing,
And flies off the instant we hear her voice.
Sweet bird, we would never keep you again.
My heart breaks with the desire to kiss you.

And speaking of elusive mysteries,
Yogananda, I worshipped your beauty,
And possibly found God as a result,
But I hate you for what you did to me.

Re: Om Amriteshwaryai Namaha

I like whispered ear lineages.

Here is my first 10 syllables per line offering. I emailed it (internally) to Balder, subject: Lord Balder,  don't forsake me!  Bit exposing, I know, but there you go.

Six days have passed, am I abandonned now?
I fear you find me too needy by far
Older in years yet a child I still am
'Tis wrong to yearn for a wise elder bro?

Re: Om Amriteshwaryai Namaha

Either the moth on my sock was asleep
Or he wanted to give me enough time
To take in the strange beauty of his wings,
Sacred mantras inscribed on mystic shields.

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Love it. And I can't keep up. Yours is the duracell battery.

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Joseph carried Yogananda's body,
Still warm after the Mahasamadhi,
And saw him wildly welcomed into Heaven,
Multitudes of angels, worlds undreamed of.

Out of his mind in cosmic consciousness,
Lost in a vast expanse of galaxies,
He somehow managed to drive himself home,
And told me this story decades later.

Re: Om Amriteshwaryai Namaha

Go ahead, look at me threateningly.
It's true that I can't kick your ass, homie.
Long hair gives me freak status exemption.
But I would rip your head off if I could.

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The garuda flies between two worlds then
I'm glad you're back, the nest was feeling cold
A hungry fledgling, I went off searching
Following the space trail you'd created

A wondrous land awaits at journey's end
This forgotten since incarnating here
Though I don’t inhabit that other realm
Its amrita sustains me nonetheless

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I've thought about our so called swami friend,
His years of personal service to a saint,
His worshipful devotion to my wife,
How he seemed like a god but was a pig.

Re: Om Amriteshwaryai Namaha

A Celtic woman singing in my sleep,
Giant rolling breakers in the distance,
A lovely woman there like an angel,
I'm getting too close to the other side.

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The wind of Spirit that blows forever,
Shaking the feathers of our war bonnets,
Will be all that remains of our people
Till it returns against the enemy.


 

Re: Om Amriteshwaryai Namaha

Emerald mountains under mountainous clouds,
Rippling leaves talking scripture to the winds.
The Rock Star puts me in his chariot,
State of the art sound soothing my deafness.

Re: Om Amriteshwaryai Namaha

somewhere lately, I have gone beyond….it may have been a simple hand holding exercise in a recent workshop…my god, the power of love…..one drop of radiance indeed…..emeralds cascade from waterfalls down mountains…how we can create heaven with a simple smile, how some tiny dose of the real thing transcends all wounds, washed away in an instant……. a simple touch taken seriously straight into the mystery.  I am drinking red wine at my sister's…..I come from a family of tantrics….oh my god how we have been trying to turn that energy into something else….I have given up now and so has she….. we seem ridiculous I guess, maybe, to someone, if anyone is paying attention….

Re: Om Amriteshwaryai Namaha

Lovely, Jane.

I say this with no exaggeration,
Myna birds are my sacred hearts on wings.
Maui, thou art blessed not for thy beauty,
But that thou art home to these divine souls.

Re: Om Amriteshwaryai Namaha

Again, this place when the pain is over,
A hot desert oasis in the night,
Aquamarine water in the darkness,
Black palms against the sky, deeply alive .

Re: Om Amriteshwaryai Namaha

In the fusion of ecstatic rock and roll
And the heavenly madness of bhava,
Secret apotheosis consecrates
The self-immolating votary.

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Ramsess, wise one, so good to se you here. I do read I just don't “do” poetry.

lol, I just wanted to say thank you, your warm bubbling appreciation for this community and you allowing it to help you find bits in you that you didn't know were there is wonderful to see. Made me remember just how it felt to be new in cyberspace, finding a concentration of people who just felt right. I forget how precious that is at times.

And if my internal poet wakes up one day, there will be no one more surprisd than me.

Liz

Re: Om Amriteshwaryai Namaha

Thank you, Liz. I've been wondering when we would finally exchange a word. Actually, I'm sure you do do poetry.  You just aren't aware that you do it.  For me, it's all about paying  attention to what I think and feel. It's like fishing. You get a little tug on the line and you carefully play and reel it in. It could take hours or you could land your fish right away. It still comes as a surprise to me what I pull in. You just might surprise yourself. It is obvious what a debt I owe to this community. I am so grateful that you are a part of it. 

Namaste,
Ramsses

Re: Om Amriteshwaryai Namaha

Sunset shadows on the mountain ridges,
Soft like a pile of velvet, trees rocking
And blowing in the wind, ancient histories,
But you must listen carefully and watch.

Re: Om Amriteshwaryai Namaha

so why do you get to hang around with the soft sunsets and gentle rocking trees, while I am out on this ridiculous battlefield apparently all alone, save a bunch of stick in the mud idiots…. Trying to transform this gnarly energy is, in a word, trying.
I used to have a steed. This is true. His name was Brutus and to be honest he was my greatest Tantric teacher. He trained all of my sisters too. I hated him a lot. Back in those days, I wanted something else. I wanted to win the jumping competitions, and the silly ribbons to adorn the walls of my adolescent ego. Instead I had steed, whose greatest was unparalleled in all of history, and he would have none of my simpering.
My beautiful sister Alison has woken up. It is still early but I must stop what was about to become a long narrative and have coffee with her.
I am glad you are with beauty in nature, with the eternal feminine…..you might be the only man clued in enough on the face of the earth to actually be paying attention to this miracle. Men piss me off a lot. A LOT!
love Jane

Re: Om Amriteshwaryai Namaha

While Ramsses rode down the Nile at leisure,
The Greek gods unanimously decreed
That the one and only proper measure
Was Jane must jump for ribbons on her steed.

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It's taken me years to understand this.
There is no more reason to expect sex
To leave me alone than anything else
In this world that loves to drive me crazy.

Re: Om Amriteshwaryai Namaha

Well, actually there is even less reason to expect that from sex…..SEX, the nectar of the gods, handed out from the heavens like candy at hallowe’en. Trick or treat, to the just and the unjust alike…….and if any of us have the capacity(and we all do however unwittingly), it is both a trick and a treat and then some…..
the truth is, I am shy…..and it is no wonder….sometimes I think that when I am looked at too closely, I might explode. This would hardly do at all. Dignity and decorum….I have been trained well by the Presbyterians. I am not going to be off at a super market or something and just explode…..It is no wonder I have a set of masks, and various other disguises…..no wonder at all. And even worse, imagine if I did not squint and wear sunglasses, and then nakedly, I went around looking at people just like me.
There could be explosions all around……it would not do at all…..not at all!

My trip to Hawai’i is shaping up….I am going to visit Heather tomorrow in Toronto on my way back to Labrador…she has added another island on her itinerary besides Kona, a little one but not Maui, O’haii(or something)…….but she will likely come with me to Maui if I insist…..

Don’t worry though, my sweet Pharoh. I will wear dark glasses and perhaps a fur coat even if it is hot….I will not allow for any combustion activity……

Re: Om Amriteshwaryai Namaha

Did you say a trench coat or a fur coat?
No one would wear either one in Maui
Unless she had nothing on underneath.
I personally will check to make sure.

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oh, forget the coat.  It makes me tired and hot just thinking about it.  I am now at Heath's…..I will report back later regarding the trip.

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It never ceases to amaze me how practical women can be.

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The neighbor cats are my very dear friends.
They particularly appreciate
Such loving endearments as you would give
To highly evolved souls such as they are.

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Interesting how so many of us
Find it so hard to break the old patterns,
This addiction to the cause of our pain,
As if we had nothing better to do.

Re: Om Amriteshwaryai Namaha

Truer words were never spoken, Ramsses. This time of year I show my weakest colors!

Liz

Re: Om Amriteshwaryai Namaha

I am back in my beautiful little place at the end of the road, with my two gorgeous boys and my Rosie….the lake is not entirely frozen, not like it usually is at this time of year.  It feels like spring….
Still, I wish I could bring you all here for Christmas.  I wonder really what the addictions are really a symptom of…..some deeper hankering that will not be silenced, but  a hankering that talks in a confusing tongue. 
I had a great massage today after my night of call.  I helped with a beautiuful 8 pound baby boy's arrival into the stew just before my shift was over.  I have a patient who I love though he is decrepit beyond repair at this point.  He keeps eating glass after drinking enough to drown the sorrows of the world.  I want to scrub him up and make him floss his teeth, but I realize that  they might fall out from any such activity.  It is magnificent the lives people live….this man's forefathers were whale hunters and fast runners…..now he picks up cans around town to collect the money for a bottle of cheap sherry.    His eyes are beautiful, so filled with loss and sadness.  I guess he has been caught in the great forgetting.
Spending a second more not paying attention to this miracleseems like too much, but I get tired and forget too….

Re: Om Amriteshwaryai Namaha

Jane I hope to be even half the healer you are someday.

Liz