Changing the culture of therapy via reconsidering denial

Therapeutic culture, if I may speak loosely in reference to postmodern therapeutic culture, has held as a key tenet, “thou shalt not be in denial”.  I recall many years of my life when I felt the most important thing for me was to not “be in denial”.  What this meant was to not be in denial of the shadow, in particular, the shadow of painful emotions and experiences that I may have disowned and dissociated from.

From an integral perspective, may I suggest that we need to broaden this view of denial considerably, and in doing so, we can more successfully exit postmodernity in favor of post-postmodernity, or an integral era.

We can keep this narrow type of denial, but add several more.  In particular, we need to address, in any moment with our clients, or in ourselves, tendency towards denial of our strengths – that is, denial of the evolution or growth that could be occuring, if only we attend carefully enough, to or within any of our major lines of development.  Positive or strengths psychology does us some good in addressing this form of denial.  Unfortunately, positive psychology is also very partial in that it ignores the psychodynamic shadow.

And, we need to attend to denial of ever-present Spirit, to the fact that a part of our own awareness is radically free of suffering, right now.  This is a really common denial in the therapy world, no?  “I” am in denial of that particular truth right now…

What are your thoughts on this?  How do we work with this stuff “in the room”?

Re: Changing the culture of therapy via reconsidering denial

This is a very important point you raise, Durwin.

The “denial of our strenghts” is encompassed in what some people call the golden shadow.

I see this process on a daily basis with patient, in forms like this one: Low self esteem, that is unconsciously or preconsciously fueled and nurtured, as to avoid to feel good. Why? Some say it can be hard to live to peoples expectations, or they fear if they feel happy it wil call on them some evil. They nurture their own suffering in order to feel control.

Patrick

Re: Changing the culture of therapy via reconsidering denial

Hi Patrick: This makes good sense what you say – and thanks for reminding me of that term: golden shadow…
Durwin

Re: Changing the culture of therapy via reconsidering denial

Hi Durwin,

Great question, especially if we look at denial as one of the defences we and our clients use as a means to reduce internal anxiety. If our defences serve as a way of coping with anything which threatens our ego (at whatever stage of development), then perhaps it's important to remember that they serve us as well, and do not only fulfill the function of hindering our growth. Denying the golden shadow could be seen as a healthy  defence if  the inner and outer conditions necessary to support the emergence of our higher/deeper/wider potentials are not available. Without these supports, even the golden shadow's emergence can be highly disequilibrating.

I smiled with recognition when I read your self-imposed injunction about “not being in denial”. Seen from my current perspective, I ask myself which part of my/your ego was issuing this injunction, and for what purpose? It certainly served to increase anxiety in my case, which then activated more defences!

Is having the awareness that ever-present Spirit is ever-present always a denial of Spirit? Or is it simply the very human incapacity to hold that gnosis in the forefront of our awareness in our day-to-day interactions with the relative world? Slipping into “forgetfulness” seems to be an inevitable part of the process of growing towards ever-increasing “remembering” of our essence. The question for me is how do we address that forgetfulness in ourselves and our clients via skillful means appropriate to the levels of development of our/their self-related lines.

Vivian.

Re: Changing the culture of therapy via reconsidering denial

Hi Durwin,

Great question, especially if we look at denial as one of the defences we and our clients use as a means to reduce internal anxiety. If our defences serve as a way of coping with anything which threatens our ego (at whatever stage of development), then perhaps it's important to remember that they serve us as well, and do not only fulfill the function of hindering our growth. Denying the golden shadow could be seen as a healthy  defence if  the inner and outer conditions necessary to support the emergence of our higher/deeper/wider potentials are not available. Without these supports, even the golden shadow's emergence can be highly disequilibrating.

I smiled with recognition when I read your self-imposed injunction about “not being in denial”. Seen from my current perspective, I ask myself which part of my/your ego was issuing this injunction, and for what purpose? It certainly served to increase anxiety in my case, which then activated more defences!

Is having the awareness that ever-present Spirit is ever-present always a denial of Spirit? Or is it simply the very human incapacity to hold that gnosis in the forefront of our awareness in our day-to-day interactions with the relative world? Slipping into “forgetfulness” seems to be an inevitable part of the process of growing towards ever-increasing “remembering” of our essence. The question for me is how do we address that forgetfulness in ourselves and our clients via skillful means appropriate to the levels of development of our/their self-related lines.

Vivian.

Re: Changing the culture of therapy via reconsidering denial

Hi Vivian: APPRECIATION: for the clarity of your writing!  APPRECIATION: for the integrally-informed compassion I feel when reading your post.