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I am so thankful D and Rob for having the pioneering spirit to actually bring these subject up- at least on the web… :-)
I am unsure about which “stage” I am at. I have had a few times where I would begin at a gym and typically discontinue. This has happened with martial arts too, but in a different fashion. I have such a love-hate relationship with body practice, that, I have decided to probe into it as deeply as I can…!
I am employing therefore, “The Work” inquiry to help me, and the pathological structure becomes clear quite quickly….
One of the issues that came up for me as well was “superficial motivation”.
So, as I phrased it in The Work was:
“My motivation for engagining in weight-training are just not good or legitimate enough”.
This phrasing already exposes the super-ego self-righteous tendency that comes with this type of thinking: (from journal)
“When I think this thought, I am actually in the business of 'self-righteously favoring [pseudo-evolutionary] spiritual bypass instead of alignment with authentic aspiration'”.
And, at almost a transrational level,
I thought that hey, I don't -need- “superficial or illegitimate reasons” to feel “not good enough”- freeing “not being good enough” from the tyranny of having-to-have reasons to feel that way is paradoxically liberating!
I myself am not sure what this MEANS- just that in the integral circles, there is the need to justify everything integrally, and sometimes it borders on being self-righteous instead of loving ourselves for the aspirations we have. We get so incredible afraid of what might look as shallow, which is actually a quiter voice, a willingness that demands much less than our “non-superficial reasons”.
My plan is continue to examine my relationship with training, and eventually return to training slightly more integrated I hope!
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