Libido

I gave a talk tonight on Sex 101: Libido, Hormones & Aging. We discussed the medical model, which tends to be overly reductionist (“here, take these hormones and they’ll cure everything”), the “new view” put out by critics of the medical model and big pharma (www.fsd-alert.org), male vs. female sexual response, how to approach low libido using Patti Brittons MEBES model (alignment of Mind, Emotion, Body & Body Image, Energy and Spirituality), among others. I think the rampant low libido epidemic I see among women these days is a crisis of energy. We don’t have enough energy or life force to be sexual. What’s been your experience? What helps? If you don’t have solutions, what are the right questions?

Re: Libido

Interesting. For me it has been associated with the connection that I have with my partner. And of course, the more stress I am the less libido I have.

Sarah, have there been any studies on sex and health in  women? Similar to this article that I posted here.

Thanks!
Monica

Re: Libido

You mention a crucial aspect of female sexuality which is that women need emotional connectivity to be receptive to sex. For men, the reverse is true - they usually need sex to feel emotionally connected. What a disconnect! These are generalizations but they are the scientifically validation of what Taoists have always known, but perhaps describe more poetically: that women are like a waterfall, whereby connectedness propels energy from the heart to fall down to ignite the genitals, and men are like a fire in which the genitals ignite the energy of the heart and mind.

You asked about other benefits of sex. There is a great Planned Parenthood paper on the proven benefits of sex which include:

Longer life
Fewer heart attacks & strokes
Better immune system
Burns calories
Relieves chronic pain & migraine
Improves quality of life
Buffers depression
Reduces stress
Increases self-esteem
Stimulates intimacy, closeness

I’ll see what other articles I can post for you.
Take care,
Sara

Re: Libido

HI,
Thank you for your response. I look forward to hearing more!
Monica

Re: Libido

Hi!

For me this issue has a lot to do with presence - at least from one partner. To be really there with myself and the other. And this will automatically lead to what is described in this MEBES program - it leads to alignment/synchronization of mind and body/emotion.

Most of the time most of all people are not there. Avoiding what is really going on in them and therefor drawing the energy out of body-mind; and compulsive thinking occurs, to 'solve' the insecurity which results out of that (I highly recommend David Deidas writings about this topic!).

When we get present again, stay with what we feel, what the partner feels, stay - and not try to 'manage' everything - then closeness and love will arise from under the cover of the daily turmoil. As Monica describes it with 'being under stress', which leads mostly to more unpresence, because something is going on, which we want to avoid - and then we go away from us - and of course others too (if there are actually 'others', which can be a new topic :-).

so looking for hormones, affairs, new partners for me only deals with symptoms. it is much more about getting present with us, then with the other person, then step into our unique individual flow of life.

My experience is, the more I invest into this, the more happy, the more content, the more energized and loving I get. And the more sexual I become, when I feel sexual; and the more in peace I am, when it is not there

Markus