What do you think of the ideas in this blog? Agree? Disagree?

The BIGGEST Mistake Women Make with Men (without even realizing it!)
Gina is a great coach. She’s smart, beautiful, and successful. She’s well traveled and well respected. She has great friends. Gina’s life is full.
Gina loves to make people feel special. She loves sharing ideas and giving advice.
When Gina meets a man she likes, she gives him phone calls, little gifts, and often her body without asking for anything in return.
Gina is a generous woman.
Gina thinks by giving more, she’ll be more appreciated and loved. (Her friends adore her.)
But guess what?
Gina’s giving is preventing her from getting what she wants most…a successful, intimate romantic relationship.
Gina thinks the more she gives to a man, the more he will appreciate her and want her. Gina is sadly mistaken.
Little boys may appreciate what Gina offers, but a real man does not want a generous woman. No matter how much he says he does.
Oh, he will snack for a while. (Is there a man among us who doesn’t enjoy free treats?)
But he won’t fall in love.
So when Gina gives more by doing for him, performing for him, giving him ideas and advice, he doesn’t love it. He resents it. He finds it disrespectful.
And ultimately, he leaves.
Most men do not wake up in the morning and thank God for sending a woman to tell him what to do.
Men cannot fall in love with women who give too much.
Men fall in love with women who love themselves first and know how to give back in appreciation.
Men must “do good” to “feel good”.
Women must “feel good” to “do good”.
(Think about this for a moment.)
If you are “doing good” for someone without “feeling good” about it, you are giving too much. (Unless of course, you are a man.) (There are many “men” in women’s bodies.)
When we give equally to a man, we neutralize the chemistry.
When we give more, we block intimacy.
When we give less and appreciate what he offers, we fall in love.
So the next time you want to give to a man you like…your date, your husband, your teenage son…
Ask yourself, “Am I giving too much?”
If the answer is “yes”, then stop what you are doing (or saying) and wait for him to give you something. (It could be a compliment, a dinner invitation or a piece of advice, whatever…)
Then say “thank you”.
It can be uncomfortable to receive what a man has to offer. (Especially since it will never be how or what you would give.) (Ever.)
But it is important to acknowledge him and say “thanks”. (At the very least, he is giving you information about who he is.)
When you stop giving too much and learn to appreciate and respect what a man can give…you will be rewarded! (Big time!)

Re: What do you think of the ideas in this blog? Agree? Disagree?

I am posting this because, as a man, I disagree with this for the following reasons:

1. First of all, the broad, sweeping generalization of men (and perhaps women too!) - not all men are like this. At least, I am not.

2. While I love women who appreciate what I give and do, I have actually resented the women who merely appreciate and don't give anything back unless I ask for it. Yup. I am not perfect. I have my own issues and stuff to work on too. So it is not true that men resent women who give too much.

3.This idea that men do good to feel good - I disagree with the very notion of needing to do good to feel good, as I am a student of Victor Frankl's Man's Search for Meaning, as well as other teachings - one can truly be happy for no reason, simply by choosing to be happy, choosing to feel good - yes, sometimes, certain techniques such as meditation, prayer, and feeling deeply whatever we are already feeling and letting it flow through us - these help us - but in the end, it is our simple choice to feel good that makes us all, men and women, feel good.

In the end, authenticity, transparency and honesty are the best policy. If you feel that you are giving too much or if you feel that perhaps the men in your life are resenting you for it - just ask, instead of trying to manipulate.

Re: What do you think of the ideas in this blog? Agree? Disagree?

As a side note, I think every woman, and men, should read the following books:

http://www.amazon.com/What-Makes-Man-Writers-Imagine/dp/1594480680/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1252613198&sr=8-1

http://www.amazon.com/Future-Love-Daphne-Rose-Kingma/dp/0385490844/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1252613258&sr=1-1

The first book will make you question your perceptions about men, especially the idea that a man is supposed to be a certain way.
The second one questions your notions of love, and shifts your paradigm.

Re: What do you think of the ideas in this blog? Agree? Disagree?

Thanks for posting this here too, Kundan, I look forward to hearing the thoughts of anyone on it,

Love,

Nicole

Re: What do you think of the ideas in this blog? Agree? Disagree?

Some good ideas presented but if Gina is not getting what she wants from giving too much it may be beacuse people who give so much to others don't establish an individual enough identity to be desireable to others. People are attracted to those who can stand alone and don't need them. Then they can have a relationship as equals.

Re: What do you think of the ideas in this blog? Agree? Disagree?

Now, that's a valid point, I think. And I think, that is a universal thing, and I wish the writer of the blog, who is a well-known writer in the self-help field (whom I have not named, and shall not, since I don't want that to affect the discussion) had not made it into a male-female thing.
Your point applies to both men and women.

Re: What do you think of the ideas in this blog? Agree? Disagree?

Exactly, Kundan and Mr. Any other reflections on this?