Gaia: God Pod or Life, the Universe and Everything - Water Cooler - Humour - definitions not in the dictionary

Re: Humour - definitions not in the dictionary

http://NM770forgiven.gaia.com — Wed, 21 Jan 2009 01:58:49 GMT

Thanks Nicole for the concern. I'll try i'm not succeeding that much lately though. And yeah that's a great new meaning for he will purify. lol
(((((((NIcole)))))))))
Peace Naomi

Re: Humour - definitions not in the dictionary

http://singerseeker.gaia.com — Mon, 19 Jan 2009 02:25:00 GMT

Now, there's another take on "And he shall purify"

:) Thanks Eli!

Naomi, take good care of yourself, don't let it get too crazy ok? lol

Love

Nicole

Re: Humour - definitions not in the dictionary

http://NM770forgiven.gaia.com — Sun, 18 Jan 2009 21:04:43 GMT

Nice one Eli. And I'm doing ok Nicole. Getting ready to start another crazy semester. lol The jokes are nice

Re: Humour - Holy Water

http://EliRoberson.gaia.com — Sun, 18 Jan 2009 17:50:21 GMT

Re: Humour - definitions not in the dictionary

http://singerseeker.gaia.com — Sun, 18 Jan 2009 14:19:52 GMT

Thanks, Naomi, I am well, and you? Here's a couple more!

Hugs,

Nicole

Alpha Geek: The most knowledgable, technically proficient person in an office or work group. "Ask Larry, he's the alpha geek around here."

Aquadextrous: Possessing the ability to turn the bathtub faucet on and off with your toes.

from The dictionary - humorous definitions

Re: Humour - What's this?

http://singerseeker.gaia.com — Sun, 18 Jan 2009 13:35:22 GMT

that's scary photoshopping, Andrew :)

Hugs,

Nicole

Re: Humour - What's this?

Sun, 18 Jan 2009 13:33:02 GMT

I know this is a bit late however.... What is it?

A HILL - BILLY

Re: Humour - definitions not in the dictionary

http://NM770forgiven.gaia.com — Sun, 18 Jan 2009 00:29:01 GMT

These are all cool. And so funny I guess I shouldn't be reading them in the library lol and great we have another person who can find funny things.
How are you Nicole?
Peace Naomi

Re: Humour - definitions not in the dictionary

http://singerseeker.gaia.com — Fri, 16 Jan 2009 14:40:20 GMT

Very good, Mr :)

Love,

Nicole

Re: Humour - definitions not in the dictionary

http://mrprophet.gaia.com — Fri, 16 Jan 2009 05:00:40 GMT

I used to be apathetic but now I just don't care!

Re: Humour - definitions not in the dictionary

http://singerseeker.gaia.com — Thu, 15 Jan 2009 18:04:02 GMT

LOL, Eli, thanks!

Love,

Nicole

Re: Humour - definitions not in the dictionary

http://EliRoberson.gaia.com — Thu, 15 Jan 2009 15:47:15 GMT

Re: Humour - True Aberdeen Tale

http://singerseeker.gaia.com — Tue, 13 Jan 2009 18:34:24 GMT

Found this in the Integral Archipelago Re: Laughter & Wisdom

In July 2007 a seagull made the news through crime.

(From the comment on the youtube:)

A sneaky seagull has turned shoplifter by wandering into a store and helping himself to his favourite crisps.

The fearless bird lies in wait every day and pounces at a corner shop in Aberdeen when the door opens.

He sneaks in, grabs his spicy Doritos, then flies off with them in his beak and shares them with other birds.

The seagull, nicknamed Sam by staff and customers, has become so popular locals have started paying for his crisps.

Shop worker Sriaram Nagarajan, 22, said: "Everyone is amazed by the seagull.

"For some reason he only takes that one particular kind of crisps, nothing else will do for him. But he's got it down to a fine art. He waits until there are no customers around and I'm standing behind the till, then he raids the place."

Bosses at the RS McColl shop have now decided to keep the door closed to try to deter Sam.

But customers have taken pity on the bird and have started donating money to keep him in Doritos.

Sriaram added: "He's becoming a bit of a celebrity. Seagulls are usually not that popular but Sam is a star because he's so funny."

Video

Re: Humour - True Aussie Tale (apparently)

http://singerseeker.gaia.com — Tue, 13 Jan 2009 16:24:35 GMT

Well, you know me, Andrew, - "when in doubt, snopes it out!" :)

Hugs,

Nicole

Re: Humour - True Aussie Tale (apparently)

Tue, 13 Jan 2009 16:22:34 GMT

Sorry Nicole, I overlooked the fact a Canadian was moding again.

Silly me ... :-)

Re: Humour - True Aussie Tale (apparently)

http://singerseeker.gaia.com — Tue, 13 Jan 2009 16:14:19 GMT

LOL! See snopes.com: Zero Dollars Charge

Love,

Nicole

Re: Humour - True Aussie Tale (apparently)

Tue, 13 Jan 2009 16:09:17 GMT

On Thursday, 24th January 2002, Derek Guille broadcast this story on his afternoon program on ABC radio.

In March 1999 a man living in Kandos (near Mudgee in NSW) received a bill for his as yet unused gas line stating that he owed $0.00.

He ignored it and threw it away. In April he received another bill and threw that one away too.

The following month the gas company sent him a very nasty note stating that they were going to cancel his gas line if he didn't send them $0.00 by return mail.

He called them, talked to them, and they said it was a computer error and they would take care of it.

The following month he decided that it was about time that he tried out the troublesome gas line figuring that if there was usage on the account it would put an end to this ridiculous predicament.

However, when he went to use the gas, it had been cut off.

He called the gas company who apologised for the computer error once again and said that they would take care of it.
The next day he got a bill for $0.00 stating that payment was now overdue.

Assuming that having spoken to them the previous day the latest bill was yet another mistake, he ignored it, trusting that the company would be as good as their word and sort the problem out.

The next month he got a bill for $0.00. This bill also stated that he had 10 days to pay his account or the company would have to take steps to recover the debt.

Finally, giving in, he thought he would beat the gas company at their own game and mailed them a cheque for $0.00. The computer duly processed his account and returned a statement to the effect that he now owed the gas company nothing at all.

A week later, the manager of the Mudgee branch of the Westpac Banking Corporation called our hapless friend and asked him what he was doing writing cheque for $0.00.

After a lengthy explanation the bank manager replied that the $0.00 cheque had caused their cheque processing software to fail.
The bank could therefore not process ANY cheques they had received from ANY of their customers that day because the cheque for $0.00 had caused the computer to crash.

The following month the man received a letter from the gas company claiming that his cheque had bounced and that he now owed them $0.00 and unless he sent a cheque by return mail they would take immediate steps to recover the debt

At this point, the man decided to file a debt harassment claim against the gas company. It took him nearly two hours to convince the clerks at the local courthouse that he was not joking.

They subsequently helped him in the drafting of statements which were considered substantive evidence of the aggravation and difficulties he had been forced to endure during this debacle.

The matter was heard in the Magistrate's Court in Mudgee and the outcome was this:

The gas company was ordered to:

[1] Immediately rectify their computerized accounts system or Show Cause, within 10 days, why the matter should not be referred to a higher court for consideration under Company Law.

[2] Pay the bank dishonor fees incurred by the man.

[3] Pay the bank dishonor fees incurred by all the Westpac clients whose cheques had been bounced on the day our friend's had been processed.

[4] Pay the claimant's court costs; and

[5] Pay the claimant a total of $1500 per month for the 5 month period March to July inclusive as compensation for the aggravation they had caused their client to suffer.

And all this over $0.00.

Re: Humour - definitions not in the dictionary

http://singerseeker.gaia.com — Tue, 13 Jan 2009 16:05:38 GMT

Yikes, Andrew! :)

Hugs,

Nicole

Re: Humour - definitions not in the dictionary

Tue, 13 Jan 2009 16:01:47 GMT

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On a tour of NZ, the Pope took a couple of days off to visit the ocean for some sightseeing.
He was cruising along the beach at Wanganui in his car, when there was a frantic commotion just off the shore.

A helpless man wearing a green and gold Aussie rugby jersey was struggling frantically to free himself, from the jaws of a 5-metre shark.

As the Pope watched horrified, a Waka cruised up alongside with two men wearing All Black jerseys.
Rangi quickly threw a harpoon into the shark's side.
Hohepa reached out and pulled the mauled, bleeding and semiconscious Aussie from the water. Then, using long clubs, Rangi and Hohepa killed the shark and hauled it into the boat.

Immediately the Pope summoned them to the beach, 'I give you my blessing for your brave actions,' he told them. 'I heard that there was some bitter rivalry between New Zealand and Australia , but now I have seen with my own eyes that this is not true.'

As the Pope drove off, Rangi asked Hohepa 'Who the hell was that, bro?' 'That was the Pope cuz' Hohepa replied. 'He's in direct contact with God bro, and has access to all of God's wisdom.'
'Well' Rangi said, 'he may have access to God's wisdom, but he don't know bugger all about shark fishing ......... Is the bait holding up okay, or do we need to get another Aussie.

Re: Humour - Yet another virus warning

http://singerseeker.gaia.com — Tue, 13 Jan 2009 15:59:07 GMT

Andrew and Eli, thanks, the humour is very very welcome!

Love and hugs,

Nicole