I wrote this a year or so ago but I found it and wanted to share.

She is Still Silent
In memory of “Maggie”


Completely engulfed with activity
Multiple Phones ringing
Radios squelching
Then…your mind latches on
A voice, strained, laced with urgency
Yet you are trudging on with all you have to do.
But…listening…intently
Suddenly, stances change
Faces contort with multiple expressions
Dreadful yet exciting anticipation abounds
The doors gently roll open, as if in slow motion
You see them….giving their all
Anxious, hesitant to stop and step away..
Then you see her
She is our, my, responsibility now
Everything else disappears into the background
Nothing, but what you need to hear is heard
Seeking her eyes, for there is where life lives
She is silent
Eyes cold
Looking at you, but not seeing
Her youth, Her beauty screams out desperately
The stench of vomit wafts through the air mockingly
More voices, also strained, commanding, reporting
Bodies and hands continuously in motion
Each with a different purpose
working harmoniously, diligently toward the same goal
Her skin is still soft, viable, warm…….
Yet, She remains silent
Lord, help us!
She is still silent!
Continuously searching for signs
Hanging on to hope
Then Locking with her cold stare
the thread of hope fades away
Bones and flesh give way, almost as if it were normal
Under our forceful, futile attempts
Emotions prolong us, urging us to continue
She is still Silent
Abruptly, the rest of the world crashes in, engulfing…
Another voice, unfamiliar, filled with love, dread and anguish
Escalates in sorrow, rage and disbelief
Carving intense memories into our souls, my soul
Begging and pleading from the depths of our hearts
The futility is realized.
She is still silent.

Tammy Cerniglia  May 10, 2005

Re: I wrote this a year or so ago but I found it and wanted to sh

Tammy,

My hair is standing, tears are rolling and my whole body is tense as I read and relive this.
It hits too close, it feels too familiar, it is too deep. And too beautiful in its unfolding.
What an experience, what an expression and what a lesson.

May peace and blessings come on her wherever and whoever she is.
Even if she may be silent I am so grateful that you found your voice.
And what an amazing voice that is. So observant, caring and compassionate.

Life is not in vain. Even the seeming futility is not so.
And even if with each loss we feel a part of us is gone, our hearts open up even more through the cracks and the pain and we are able to give and love even deeper than we ever thought possible…

Thank you for moving me/us the way you do. Thank you for being who you are,
D a r i n a  :)