Gaia: JOY SOULutions: Enjoy, Share & Inspire - JOY for the FUN of IT - LIVE, LOVE, LAUGH & Carpe Risum (Seize the Laughter) ~

Re: LIVE, LOVE, LAUGH & Carpe Risum (Seize the Laughter) ~

http://joybringer.gaia.com — Mon, 06 Oct 2008 02:27:27 GMT

Spasibo Kes & Andrew!

I am still laughing on the chair after picking myself from the floor :)

That is a really funny and soo true toooo! Great find & sharing!

Here's another that I posted some time ago with a similar and different angle to it?

How to Speak About WOMEN And Be Politically In-Correct :)

She is not a BABE or a CHICK - She is a BREAST- GIFTED BEING.
She is not a BLEACHED BLONDE - She is PEROXIDE DEPENDENT.
She is not a BAD COOK - She is MICROWAVE COMPATIBLE.
She is not HALF NAKED - She is WARDROBE IMPAIRED.
She doesn’t wear too much JEWELRY - She is METALLICALLY OVERBURDENED.
She is not CONCEITED - She is INTIMATELY AWARE OF HER BEST QUALITIES.
She does not want to be MARRIED - She wants to lock you in DOMESTIC BLISS.
She does not GAIN WEIGHT - She is a METABOLIC UNDERACHIEVER.
She is not a SCREAMER or MOANER - She is VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE.
She is not EASY - She is HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.

She does not TEASE or FLIRT - She engages in ARTIFICIAL STIMULATION.
She is not DUMB - She is a DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.
She is not TOO SKINNY - She is SKELETALLY PROMINENT.
She does not have a MUSTACHE - She is IN TOUCH WITH HER MASCULINE SIDE.
She does not HATE TELEVISED SPORTS - She is ATHLETICALLY IGNORANT.
She has not BEEN AROUND - She is a PREVIOUSLY ENJOYED COMPANION.
She does not WEAR TOO MUCH PERFUME - She commits FRAGRANCE ABUSE.
She does not GET YOU EXCITED - She causes temp BLOOD DISPLACEMENT.
She is not KINKY - She is a NON-INHIBITED SEXUAL COMPANION.
She does not have a KILLER BODY - She is TERMINALLY ATTRACTIVE.

She does not GO SHOPPING - She is MALL FLUENT.
She is not an AIRHEAD - She is REALITY IMPAIRED.
She does not get DRUNK or TIPSY - She gets CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED.
She does not get FAT or CHUBBY - She achieves MAXIMUM DENSITY.
She is not COLD or FRIGID - She is THERMALLY INACCESSIBLE.
She is not HORNY - She is SEXUALLY FOCUSED.
She doesn’t wear too much MAKEUP - She has reached COSMETIC SATURATION.
She does not have BREAST IMPLANTS - She is GRAVITY RESISTANT.
She does not NAG YOU - She becomes VERBALLY REPETITIVE
She is not a SLUT - She is SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED.
She is not LOOSE - She is MORALLY IMPAIRED.
She does not have MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS - She is PECTORALLY SUPERIOR.
She does not have THIN LIPS - She is COLLAGEN DEPENDENT.

I wonder how will this list look if it was politically correct, written by a non-American or created by a woman for men… :)

EnJOY,

Darina

Re: LIVE, LOVE, LAUGH & Carpe Risum (Seize the Laughter) ~

http://kathysmith.gaia.com — Mon, 06 Oct 2008 01:54:51 GMT

Google Translator was fun. I found Russian for starters.

Живи, любовь, смех

I laughed when Andrew's joke made the community front page. They are not intended to be womanizing...just laughter I can tell.

Andrew said Sep 30, 12:45 PM:

Tell a man there are 300 billion stars in the universe, and he’ll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint on it, and he’ll have to touch it to be sure.

The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.

Q. What did God say after creating Adam
A. I must be able to do better than that.

Q. How do you get a man to do sit-ups?
A. Put the remote control between his toes.

Q. What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?
A. A widow.

Q. What is the one thing that all men at single bars have in common?
A. They are all married.

Q. Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking?
A. Because those men already have boyfriends.

Q. How does a man change a roll of toilet paper?
A. No one knows - we’ve never seen it done!

Q. What do men consider foreplay?
A. Half an hour of begging

Q. What’s the fastest way to a man’s heart?
A. Through his chest with a sharp knife.

Q. What is it when a man talks nasty to a woman?
A. Sexual harassment.
Q. What is it when a woman talks nasty to a man?
A. $3.99 a minute.

Q. How can you tell if a man is excited?
A. He’s breathing.

Q: Why is a laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
A: Because a woman who can’t afford a washing machine will never be able to support you.

Andrew said Sep 30, 4:49 PM:

Men Are Just Happier People — (sent to me by a lady friend)

What do you expect from such simple creatures?

Your last name stays put.

The garage is all yours.

Wedding plans take care of themselves.

Chocolate is just another snack.

You can never be pregnant.

You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.

(You can wear NO shirt to a water park.)

Car mechanics tell you the truth.

The world is your urinal.

You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.

You don’t have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.

Same work, more pay.

Wrinkles add character.

Wedding dress - $5000. Tux rental - $100.

The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.

New shoes don’t cut, blister, or mangle your feet.

One mood all the time.

Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.

You know stuff about tanks.

A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.

You can open all your own jars.

You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.

Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.

Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.

You almost never have strap problems in public.

You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.

Everything on your face stays its original color.

The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.

You only have to shave your face and neck.

You can play with toys all your life.

Your belly usually hides your big hips.

One wallet and one pair of shoes: one color for all seasons.

You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.

You can “do” your nails with a pocket knife.

You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache..

You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.

No wonder men are happier.

LIVE, LOVE, LAUGH & Carpe Risum (Seize the Laughter) ~

http://joybringer.gaia.com — Sun, 05 Oct 2008 23:56:11 GMT

There is too much seriously dysfunctional sh*t*uff all around to NOT be laughing it off!

Time to WakeUpLaughing & expose/fix the ELectile Dysfunction of this too messy matrix. Who better to start the laughing in the Now by making even Time a thing of the past than Swami Beyondananda - watch & belly laugh ad infinitum! :)

The man of understanding finds everything laughable. ~ Goethe ~

Ready to split his sides with laughter.~ Miguel de Cervantes ~

He who laughs, lasts. ~ Mary Pettibone Poole ~

Laughing Smiley

So I have 2 requests 4 you:

1. Share some-ANY-thing that makes you LAUGH - joke, story, music, picture, video, art...

2. Translate LIVE, LOVE & LAUGH in your and/or another language that you know & share it here so that we can come up with a fun list in many/all languages.

in Bulgarian - LIVE, LOVE & LAUGH = Живея , Любя , Смея се!

in Latin LIVE, LOVE & LAUGH = Digero, diligo, rideo or = ACTUM, AMOR, RISUM!

......

Life, Love and Laughter & everything in between! Even magic for the kids!

Donavon Frankenreiter - Life, Love & Laughter

Carpe Risum! (Seize the Laugher!!!)

D a r i n / a :)