Re: Introducing Compassion and Kindness

hello, I was invited to be apart of all of this so I have waited until the right moment to step in and speak … if I may , here is my contrabution .
compassion  is more than sympathy and kindness it is looking into the very soul of another part of creation and feeling the same experience. It is much more than just concern   it has movement.. it will move one into action. Compassion  has arms and legs that move to correct problems experienced by others. It allows us to move beyond ourselves  and the relm of pity and self serving mercy to the garden of peace within… It is a beautiful garden full of Peace and it becomes alive with the blessings of life which then gives birth to love

Re: Introducing Compassion and Kindness

A major tenent of the enlightenment was that man was essentially good. Since the 17th century, man has proven otherwise, it would seem. Is it possible to have compassion without having a spiritual or religious center? Sure. I know several people who are not religious and who, in the past several days as a matter of fact, have shown their complassion towards myself and my family personally.

But remember that we are in a group. And as far as groups go, they tend to not be so compassionate. Groups even require laws so that one doesn’t infringe on the others rights, and even then, people do so and break the law.

If the US were compassionate, we wouldn’t have troops in Iraq, they would be in Darfur instead. I wish I could believe that people, left to their own devices and without some guidance could be complassionate. But history has taught us otherwise.

I would suggest at least some sort of higher good at which to strive for. Maybe a set of traditions which the group could view as suggestions to follow.

Just some thoughts

Re: Introducing Compassion and Kindness

Yes, and I appreciate Pastor Mike relating that if the United States had compassion, our troops would be in Darfur instead of Iraq.  This is what we should be doing with our resources.

Re: Introducing Compassion and Kindness

Bravo!

thanks to all here who are working on a new model.

Back to chysalis for a minute…

so then are you saying in effect, irregardless of parentage etc…we ARE all connected and need to work from that fame of reference?

If so, I heartily agree and aim to do that in my own life…

Re: Introducing Compassion and Kindness

Aley, my next post below might answer your question, but yes. This is what I think. Do I have reason to judge in pride because I was accidentally born in a rich country, in a nice environment, with access to self help books and spirituality, enough food and sweet friends, maybe a reasonably beautiful body even? Of course not.

We have talked about this before, but I think it's a good moment to let each other see how far compassion can go. Imagine yourself being Saddam Hussein, having grown up learning to believe in something so much, you would kill and die for it. You have brothers, sisters, a mother, a lot of money and power. You know nothing else. But then something goes terribly wrong and your belief system breaks apart. You have to take the blame for everything. You take the blame for your army following your orders. You take the blame for your army having all those guns and tanks. Guns and tanks that you bought from France maybe or the USA, 20 years ago. They supported you back then because they wanted your oil and your agreement on whatever matter. Today you are alone and you take the blame. You even die for it. Do you deserve that anyone feels sorry for you because you haven't accidentally been born in a rich western country with a college education in sight?

Best wishes

Re: Introducing Compassion and Kindness

Brilliant thoughts Chrysalis.

Re: Introducing Compassion and Kindness

Great post, Cosmicbdog. If we could observe in ourselves why we feel anger, frustration, or sadness at how someone else is, or how someone else acts or talks, I think we'd then be able to use that negative emotion as a positive tool to seeing the flaws within our own philosophies, thoughts, and actions. There's a new Nine Inch Nails song out, and in one part of it, trent Reznor says, in different words, that he's tired of people not seeing themselves in George Bush, and not seeing how they were just as responsible for “manifesting” him into office as the people who physically voted for him…It's a very profound point that I just happened to catch, listening to it one day. it made me think:

“It's so easy for me to see how my mom's “conservative view” against everything draws more of what she's uncomfortable with into her life. Like, since she sends passionate e-mails around opposing illegal immigrants, she's perpetuating exactly what she doesn't want. But, I had never looked at how me or supposedly “conscious” others like me were doing the same thing with people like her!”

These thoughts happened not long ago, maybe a few weeks, and they are the reason I posted about “what you resist, persists,” because I do have a new, more clear, picture of what that means. Erean said it perfect when he said that if we push too hard, we could be creating the resistance that keeps us from achieving the desired affect. In one other posting, I remember reading that if you resist the “tails” side of a coin, you have no coin! You can't only have the “heads” side of a coin, it takes both for it to be a coin. 

These are very inspiring posts, and it's really giving me a chance to construct myself as one who accepts my own darkness, which allows me to better use my light. 

Re: Introducing Compassion and Kindness

Totally! Its so weird to think how we can be doing all these things, projecting all these solutions to fix a problem, when the people who are judging the situation are as much a part of creating it.

Re: Introducing Compassion and Kindness

Cosmicdog, very interesting point about compassion and communication. You're right…if we talk down or up at someone; we may as well be talking through and around for all the good it does us.

All the unspoken thoughts get communicated louder than words.

Re: Introducing Compassion and Kindness

More than the Same we One but Not the Same. LOL

From my own experience, I have experienced being other people both dead and alive. I have experienced being persons who are preparing for dying. I have had recall back to the caveman days and countless death memories. I gave up on reincarnation over a decade ago in order to explain my experience of reality.

On that note, one I would like to add to your argument, in my mid-twenties, during college, I had many memories of being male. In many of those memories I had raped and killed men, women and children. They were different eras and different races. I felt a lot of guilt and shame after rising out of the encapsulated experiences of being in their mind's eyes. As I began working on compassion for myself to alleviate the intense emotional impressions, I began to have compassion for rapists and murders. I began to see from their mind's eyes. That is not to say that I was not given the balance to those lessons later when I was too compassionate to blame anyone. I was later shown the responsibility that we all carry for our work here. Yet, at least the first recognition of self in other is half the solution to any problem.

Re: Introducing Compassion and Kindness

I think, establishing compassion and kindess among humanity is a vital part of changing the world.

Namaste all

I agree. I believe lack of compassion arises from fear.

I think the best (and fastest) way to do awaken compassion is to remove fear.

I think the best (and fastest) way to remove fear is to put people in touch with their own power and divinity. awaken them, so to speak.

m

-
http://pods.zaadz.com/thegreatawakening

Re: Introducing Compassion and Kindness

True; but the best (fastest) means of facing fear is awakening it.

Re: Introducing Compassion and Kindness

Thanks for everybody's comments so far. Well…I know humanity has proven otherwise, but I still believe in them. In my belief system there is an unlimited potential for everyone to be compassionate and loving. Compassion in this case is the desire to take all suffering away from every living being without expecting anything in return. This is how I live.
Can compassion be taught? No. But it can be unveiled, and it is in all of us. Why do people cry on Oprah or Dr. Phil? Why are they so keen on Little House on the Prairie? Because there is a spot inside everybody that is craving love, care, peace. Pointing people to this spot and showing them that everybody deserves the same, we are on the right path.
Judgement based on culture, money, physical looks or anything else is completely futile because the fact that you are born in better conditions is nothing you ever had control over. So there is no reason to be proud of it. This is a point to be taught.

But there we are back on the purpose of this thread. Having accepted that happiness, compassion, kindness, peace and love are goals which EVERYBODY can and will benefit from, what are the methods to make it happen?

Best wishes

Re: Introducing Compassion and Kindness

In response to Chrysalis' question about how to bring about compassion and kindness, I think one place to start is to eliminate our compulsion for competition.  In my own family, we've always tried to teach our children to honor the worth and dignity of every person and to understand that unless everyone “wins” (safe shelter, food to eat, equal access to healing, education, and employment) nobody “wins.”  Let's put an end to our foolish veneration of wealth, nationalism, celebrity, and power.  Let's get over the concept that might makes right.  Let's stop pretending that  politicians, movie stars, billionaires, and kajillion dollar athletes are somehow better, happier, or more important than we are, or our families are, or our neighbors are.  Let's stop raising our kids to be consumers of bigger, better, more.  Let's kill empire once and for all.  All journeys begin with a single step, and all of our faith traditions have tried to give us the same map:  Love one another.  Treat others as you wish to be treated.  It's pretty simple.

Re: Introducing Compassion and Kindness

Mamakat,

it is very simple. Competition comes from Ego, “self-focused-ness”. It makes me wonder how many humanitarian people, how many compassionate people have ever been competitive. It requires a lot of sense for “I want to be first and ahead of the rest” to abandon compassion.
So in order to re-introduce compassion to the human race, we need to stop worshipping Ego-success. Thanks for your point of view.

Best wishes

Re: Introducing Compassion and Kindness

To me, it's all an 'inside' job.  When I was processing things a few years ago, I began to look at the Golden Rule this way.

“Do unto myself what I would have others do unto me.”  And when I 'love my neighbor as myself' I must assess how I am loving myself.  It seems to me that individually and collectively we ARE loving our neighbors as ourselves.  We don't love ourselves!!!

Compassion for myself is first, then I can offer it to others.  Modeling compassion can evoke it from others.  The big problems we face didn't get big all at once.  They began in small ways.  To think we can change things all at once seems too simplified to me.

We are evolving, and that sometimes happens by quantum leaps, but not usually.  Progress is slow.  Look how difficult it is for us to even change one small thing about ourselves.  It takes practice, practice, practice, and consistency, and loving ourselves first.

A friend of mine once said, “I mean you no harm, and I mean myself no harm, too.”

Re: Introducing Compassion and Kindness

Su, I loved that “I mean you no harm, and I mean myself no harm too.”  You know, the neo-pagans have embraced the old concept of “Harm none.”  Maybe that is the starting point.

Love to you.
Mamakat

Re: Introducing Compassion and Kindness

So would everyone agree that a model for the future would stress cooperation, collaboration, and networking (which all mean essentially the same thing I realize, but do possess nuanced differences)?

The emerging Zeitgeist is the Divine Feminine, which is perfectly aligned with these principles.

Re: Introducing Compassion and Kindness

Chrysalis,
I noticed that you changed subjects from Spirituality and Religion to Introducing Compassion and Kindness.  I'm wondering if there is something specific that moved you to drop one thread and begin a new one.

Re: Introducing Compassion and Kindness

Thanks for asking, Traveling Alchemist, and I have a feeling you know the answer.

First of all, the thread was called Spirituality Vs. Religiosity. People went on to discuss and eventually the conclusion had to be “Spirituality = good, religion = bad”…a bit similar to “communism = bad, because dis-empowering people, capitalism = good, because people are free in democracy”. Both points of view are essentially wrong, I think. I tried to explain how religion is good because it serves a large number of people but it's bad when people abuse it for power and control. I tried to explain how spirituality is good because you spend private time getting an insight into yourself but it's bad because it has become commercial with an abundance of books and speakers, so people can get lost and do get lost.

Either way, you see it is always the people who make the vehicle look either good or bad.
But getting back to the basic purpose leads us to people, to human beings and mankind. Breaking it down to the core, religions, spirituality and this discussion only exist because humankind has a common connection, which is the potential to give and the need to receive love, kindness, compassion, peace and happiness. The big 5, if you will. So if we want to find common ground and make a change, we have to get to the basics, something that unites the Buddhist with the Muslim, the Jew with the Neo-Pagan. And that is the quality of being human.

Best wishes

Re: Introducing Compassion and Kindness

I find it fascinating that in a post on kindness and compassion we are seeing a microcosm of the world with regard to perceptions of anothers intentions of writing in kindness and and compassion!

Would you all say that this kind of misinterepretention of intent is the cause of much of the misery in the world's communication styles?

Written word is difficult at best because we have no facial expression to go by. Keep in mind also that this is also a world wide POD, meaning only that differing cultural components come into play, as do translation issues.

This being said, I bow humbly to all as a reminder only that one persons experience of showing kindness and compassion may differ from anothers, and as a global community, there may be sensitivities not evident in this regard.

This is the gist really of the world's communication issues! We see a world view can differ, as can gender communication styles. I do not want to divide and separate, but to unify. How can we find a solution to anything, if we do not come from a point of understaanding differences?

Thanking all for tolerance, which is perhaps the foundation for compassion and kindness…

What does this say of the way we are seen in the world, if this is a microcosm?

Re: Introducing Compassion and Kindness

Can we imagine that we are in a circle together and we can clearly see each other's faces?  When we write our expressions here, perhaps we could see that in our mind's eye - for me it helps to 'see' you all as real folks in three dimensions, not just the two-dimensional words on the page…

Chrysalis, I asked you my question because I wondered if you changed subjects and started another thread because you didn't like the way the discussion was going in the other thread.  I would have appreciated hearing from you within that conversation that you were feeling uncomfortable or discouraged, or whatever your true feelings were.  Perhaps that would have given others a chance to know you better and see you more clearly. 

In respect for me, please remember that I am also in the 'room' and can speak for myself.  So, if anyone has a 'presumption' about me or any one of us, would you please ask if your perception is true?  The more we can 'see' each other, the easier it will be to really feel connected.  We are really just getting to know one another.

Chrysalis, when you started this thread you said you wanted to discuss 'methods' of introducing compassion and kindness…well here we are.  We bring ourselves, with intention to be kind and compassionate to one another.  Here is a place where we can be so with each other.

Re: Introducing Compassion and Kindness

Wendy, we were posting at the same time, so I didn't see yours until I posted mine.

A great idea to 'introduce' ourselves.  Do you want to start?

Re: Introducing Compassion and Kindness

I, for one, am fascinated to see how PerpetuallyMe jumped to the conclusion that Chrysalis was being passive-aggressive and then promptly jumped down his throat for something that seemed pretty negligible to me, maybe she was having a bad day, maybe she takes being a moderator with immoderate seriousness; and TravelingAlchemist assumed there was a problem and that is why a new thread was started, which seems like a pretty unsafe conclusion.

That Chrysalis was talking about Kindness and Compassion and excited the reaction PerpetuallyMe gave is pretty interesting… the Scolding Mother… really, I mean back off mom, apologies notwithstanding, I think everyone should go back and reread the exchange, imho that might be therapeutic…

But I am just a Crank… lest anybody wonder, you can find a little about me here (http://curmudgeon.zaadz.com/)… by way of introduction.

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Curmudgeon, for clarity, I didn't make any 'conclusion' about Chrysalis' change to another thread.  I am looking at this discussion with the idea that we are all responsible for taking care of it.  If one person 'bolts out' to change the subject (as I saw it), I want to inquire about what is going on - to check it out.  To me, that is doing my part.  I simply inquired, to understand Chrysalis' viewpoint.  It is up to him to give his reply.  It's a dialog.

It looks to me that judgment abounds all around…

Re: Introducing Compassion and Kindness

Introducing Compassion and Kindness. I have to highlight this word because it is very important. How do we introduce??? What can we do to help one raise their Compassion and Kindness level???

My answer to that is “I have no idea how”. One method may work for one situation but not for the other situation. As much as passive as I'm, I don't think we can do anything about it. Just because.

We were born with Compassion and Kindness naturally. As we grow older we soon forget our heart by the conditioning of the mind. Our mind take over and changes Love into Lust, Compassion and Kindness into Ego. Our heart shrink to minimal. If you don't believe me, examine the very young children. The children naturally have compassion and kindness. Somehow If we can awaken our dormant heart, Compassion and Kindness come back permanently. How do we awaken our heart??? Enlightenment is a key.

It is very hard to leave Religion and Spirituality out of this subject because even if you don't have Faith, naturally you are spiritual. For a brief moment you can share that little Compassion and Kindness into this world, just because you are remembering that you have a heart.

Jesus once say “I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven”

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Tuan,

you have a very good point. Unfortunately a lot of people are suspicious about spirituality and religion, but they all need and deserve compassion. Do you think this is a problem which can only be solved individually? I remember the Tsunami. I saw compassion. People all over the country wanted to help and there were about 50 million dollars raised in only a matter of days. The potential is there. I would love to see it activated and permanently re-installed.
But I guess it could be true that we all have to start on our own with this particular part of the mission and spread it from wherever we are.

Best wishes

Re: Introducing Compassion and Kindness

“Unfortunately a lot of people are suspicious about spirituality and religion” this is very true Chrysalis, people doesn't like to go beyond the box.

The problem is we only know our body are us, the soul concept is in a far far away land. Religion and Spirituality try to tell us that we are not just our body that we have a soul. I love reincarnation teaching because it make me feel immortal. People don't like that concept because it isn't real. People can only experience the world through senses, hear, see, touch, smell, taste. This is why they deny soul because it isn't real, soul can not be experience through senses. They refuse to believe that they are spititual when they were born. That is why the power of mind is so strong in this world. It is so over power that seems like we don't have a heart at all.

I guess we can only introduce Compassion and Kindness by awaken the masses into their spiritual self. How do we do that??? I still have no clue how.

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I agree with Tuan:

“We were born with Compassion and Kindness naturally. As we grow older we soon forget our heart by the conditioning of the mind. Our mind take over and changes Love into Lust, Compassion and Kindness into Ego. Our heart shrink to minimal. If you don't believe me, examine the very young children. The children naturally have compassion and kindness. Somehow If we can awaken our dormant heart, Compassion and Kindness come back permanently. How do we awaken our heart??? Enlightenment is a key.

It is very hard to leave Religion and Spirituality out of this subject because even if you don't have Faith, naturally you are spiritual. For a brief moment you can share that little Compassion and Kindness into this world, just because you are remembering that you have a heart.”

So I know I have control over my own compassion and kindness as I learn to deal with my ego.  Is that enough?  I think it has to be enough because each of us only has (potential)control of our own selves and our own egos. 

We can voluntarily choose to come together with like-minded individuals in something like “Fire The Grid” with positive intentions and no concrete actions.  Maybe that's a good first step.  So much of the time when actions are the focus, egos seem to be in full control…. but I could be wrong.

Are individual intentions enough?

Helen

Re: Introducing Compassion and Kindness

Amazing thread, as we have come to the brink of getting into compassion and kindness and are taking time to dip into it! It's like savoring the moment before the plunge: everything becomes starkly clear.

I've come late to the discussion, so I'd like to sum up a few points that stand out for me:

One - the only way to change is to change ourselves. We can then transmute the energy around us. I feel we all know that. [and I am not trying to be rude here!]

Then, communication  - the limb of compassion. The outer manifestation.

In writing, we cannot always know the tone of another's message. When I first read Chrysalis' message, e.g., about Traveling Alchemist knowing the answer; I felt you were both in sync. and the writing was just to bring it out. But instead I see it went another way. Recently I've realized that differences in the way we use idiom and words have had people think I'm being sarcastic - e.g. when I say, “oh, right”- it seems to them like the “yeah, right!” that younger [?] Americans use.

Perhaps as we are all from different cultures, we can start by giving the benefit of the doubt to the other? That is one way we can turn the energy around. I mean this as a suggestion not just for this thread, but for the question originally asked:

Can we introduce compassion by linking to the compassion in the other? Through all our failings at outer levels, we have to see that each of us is a manifestation of compassion. As we link to that in each other, we are feeling together.
And that is compassion. KIndness is another thing altogether. I find that the superficial aspect of compassion; and sometimes at odds with it.

Re: Introducing Compassion and Kindness

I can't agree that kindness is a superficial act
of compassion ?
Compassion rears kindness -you cannot be
one without the other -unless you are
talking of the visibly false  acts of kindness -
which are not at all.

Re: Introducing Compassion and Kindness

I realized I'd ended with a provocative statement!

It's my experiences that have made me feel that kindness can become overpowering for another person; actually taking away their power into oneself.

 Perhaps I have gone from one extreme to another. I have found that what seems to be my unkind acts actually free another person to be stronger and happier. And what I feel is unkind behavior is not seen that way by the other!

Perhaps we can share what we experience when we feel compassion and what we experience when we feel kindness.

Free association with compassion - inner peace, strength, Buddha gaze, calm, eyes glowing with love, faith, giving space [in an active - not passive way] to the other to expand, being a support but not a crutch, a relationship of strength with strength.

Free associating with kidnness, I get - feeling sorry for the other; a helping hand [necessary when someone needs it!], feeling good about myself, a relationship of strength with weakness.

I think of kindness as  step toward compassion; and therefore not as deep, lasting and healing as compassion is.

Re: Introducing Compassion and Kindness

Is there a way to introduce compassion and kindness other than being truly compassionate and kind?  I was interested in the concept of our needing to “re-introduce” kindness and compassion - as if it had disappeared from the earth.  That rather curious assertion may have invited in some of the negativity that later emerged in the thread.

I think that reincarnation is a vehicle for teaching that we all carry each and every positive and negative attribute of being human.  Yet, it would be neither kind nor compassionate to attempt to force someone to believe in reincarnation.  Randomness of relationships is also a good idea, but humans are so tribal in nature that it doesn't work very well.  We may learn compassion for people in our families or social circles and still use harsh judgment against people from different backgrounds.  (If you've attended a sports competition, you will remember that many people don't even get the idea that a visiting sports team isn't evil.)

The concept that we should not judge other people (until we have walked a mile in their moccasins, for example), is also a good reminder.  Chrysalis, is this what you were seeking to talk about in this thread?

Earon

Re: Introducing Compassion and Kindness

Yes, Earon, I had a feeling that this ego-driven society today, while it's being changed, also needs to be re-introduced to a sense of compassion and kindness. If we keep going on thinking about our own benefit before anyone else, this won't lead anywhere good. I would also say that everybody has the potential for compassion and kindness. It is just like you say, we feel close to our immediate family and kind of close to our extended family. But we don't care much about strangers (I mean the human race in general, especially in the western world). A feeling of “we” and “us” probably includes patriotism, but then it ends. For most people at least, I reckon.

Now if we want to have a global feeling of community, a feel of “I am part of humanity and I care about how someone feels on the other side of the world”, which I consider an ideal situation, I believe compassion and kindness need to be re-introduced and installed as a basic human value. I felt a bit lost in it myself as to what to do about it. It seems that this can't really be done globally but locally, which would take a lot of time, but I hope someone is proving me wrong.

Best wishes

Re: Introducing Compassion and Kindness

i  call it -and have a severe case of it -
the “Pollyana Syndrome” !
I f anyone ever saw that old movie -where
Pollyana knocks herself out to make everyone
Nice !
She does succeed -eventually !
But if we applied it -each to our own little corner
of the world -then we could make the whole world nice -
by spreading it !

Re: Introducing Compassion and Kindness

Chrysalis, I think I understand where you are coming from.  My own experience has been that the concept of “attachment” is actually a more powerful tool for bringing compassion and kindness into the world.  When we try to control things, or people, or outcomes, and even when we think we completely uderstand them, we have difficulty being compassionate and kind.  Our expectations become judgments of others and it all snowballs into frustration and eventually to insensitivity to others.  And this includes our attachment to finding compassion and kindness in the world.  When we can let go of those expectations, it is easier for us to see the kindness and compassion that absolutely abounds throughout the human race.

Spend some time just watching people, with an open heart.  Imagine their aspirations and their challenges, and how hard they are trying to be who they need to be.  See the concern and joy in the young parents with small children.  See the bull-headed children and adults trying to get their way.  See the people who seem to be trying to be invisible.  See the young couples expressing affection.  See the teenagers trying to be important and powerful or attractive and approachable.  See where you fit into this parade of humanity.  There are times to be the observer.  And there are times to be the participant.

I think that it is good to have positive attitidues, even when we face challenges, but a “pollyanna” may not even see what is going on, which can be unhealthy for everyone.  When we recognize the realities around us, but do not judge them, and can find things to learn from them, we seem to be empowered and sustainable.  This is different from massively using denial and cultivating a lack of discernment in ourselves.

The desire to change the world is wonderful, but the speed at which we need to see change may not be the speed at which our local culture, or the world, can evolve.  If we push too hard, or in the wrong ways, we may create more resistance to change rather than assisting the evolutionary process.

To have a global feeling of community, I would suggest visiting places in your area where people from different cultures meet.  You will see that children in all cultures are cute, curious, challenging and lovable.  You will see that everyone faces similar challenges, and that for every time people interact with anger, there are many, many moments of kindness and compassion.  It is when we judge cultures and nations that we magnify the conflict and anger - and overlook the cute, funny and lovable in them.  And the same is true of our own culture.  Yes, there are problems, and serious patterns of ego and conflict.  If we become frustrated by them we only magnify them.  When we let go of our lofty expectations of others, and of ourselves, we may find that we can all soar more easily.

Peace,

Earon

Re: Introducing Compassion and Kindness

Okay, okay, I was reading through the entire thread, and so far, there have been some controversial things said (and, yes, Earon, I understand what you meant when you said some of the negative energy could have come from the idea of having to “introduce” compassion and kindness). But I just don't understand the irony here: a thread about compassion and kindness  that has all the judging going on - of “the masses,” the ego's,” the “materialistic people,” the “billionaires and zillionaires,” etc. Maybe I'm not understanding the true intention of this thread (Chrysallis, correct me if I'm wrong), but doesn't “kindness and compassion” involve any empathy? Furthermore, doesn't it seem strange that you feel no compassion towards those people you judge, accept to pity their “ignorance” to your “enlightened” way-of-thinking? I don't think we're seeing the big picture, here. You have to accept everyone before you can make a substantial change in the lives of the extremely needy.

Is that the only place that compassion complies, is with people who you view as less fortuante than you? I visited a very small, unwealthy town in Mexico recently, and the guide who was from there told us up front, “You will see a lot of poverty, but you will not see a lot of misery. We are proud of what we do have, we are happy with what we have, and it may be different than what you're used to.” He was right - everywhere we went, we were met with people who had a great sense of humor and were so polite. They did not need our pity - they are fully actualized beings such as ourselves.

I'm friends with a very diverse group of people, and I was raised in a very gentrified town, where poverty and wealth lived next door to one another, and their daughter and son dated, got married, and their families are happy together now, whereas before, the only thing that held them back from being great friends were their reservations with what they thought the other thought of their status.

I don't see how someone who judges so many others can claim to be compassionate. What you resist, persists, as Im sure I've said before, but it's true! All those things that you're unhappy with, you're focusing your attention on them, which only perpetuates them, brings them into your life more, 'til you can find those things everywhere - you're proving yourself right!!!

My action is to, like one mentioned earlier, is to accept myself entirely, which involves going through the avatar process to fully examine and deconstruct and reconstruct my beliefs to make sure they are creating the life I want to be blissful in. Following that bliss allows me now even to see everyone as another human, trying to to be happy (even those humans that make money off spirituality, Chrysallis ;). They have suffering, too. Each one of us is on a different level coming into this world, and we should find the absolute beauty in how the dynamics that brings to the world plays out, each and every day. How we are all on such different levels, yet all the same, simultaneously.

If I can't be compassionate towards, say, paris hilton, I can't be compassionate fully, only half-assed. It's easy to forget that what other people feel  are real feelings, and who are we to discount their feelings just because we have determined their feelings as “unintelligent” ?

Re: Introducing Compassion and Kindness

EXCELLENT Katrina!!!!

Re: Introducing Compassion and Kindness

I am thinking aloud here, not stating any facts or making any pronouncements…

I'm wondering if compassion, as something we have inherently within us, is the inner feeling, and kindness is (or is not) the outer expression of it…If we've been 'cut off' from our inner feeling of compassion  through conditioning and life experience, maybe we don't really know how to express it in a healthy way.  That's where Meenakshi's post about expressions of kindness make sense to me. 

I've also discovered in my experience that sometimes a behavior that looks the same for different persons, actually come from different places within.  Where one is expressing kindness from open-hearted intention, another is expressing kindness (on the outer it looks the same), but from a different motivation, perhaps ego-driven. 

For me it seems that all our discussions come down to beginning with ourselves.  I have learned a lot about myself through my participation in these posts, and I want to thank each of you for being a teacher to me.  I have really realized that what I want I have to give. (a version of 'be the change')  If I want kindness, or compassion, in my life, I need to tap into my own place where those things live, and find a way to express them lovingly, not from my ego.  I hope this doesn't sound 'preachy' - as the oldest child in my family, and therefore perceived as 'bossy', I think I have a tendency to come across that way.  I only want to say that this is my truth regarding my lessons.

Re: Introducing Compassion and Kindness

Chills….

beginning with ouselves!
Yes T/A

Many of the issues of discomfort and unease I have here in the POD come from a place inside me that is not too comfortable with confrontation of any sort…

I work on this consistently and find any time I feel the old feeling, I need to go back and check in with myself.

This could be the microcosmic link….changing from individual to group mind?

my thinking out loud here…Aley

Re: Introducing Compassion and Kindness

I think you hit the nail on the head, Traveling Alchemist: “I've also discovered in my experience that sometimes a behavior that looks the same for different persons, actually come from different places within”

It's a matter of what we have within us and how we express it. Sometimes “people” [we? I?] work on compassion as a detached caring, and not enough on the behaviors that show compassion. Almost like that saying - “I love humanity, but I hate human beings.”!

And at other times we may kill with kindness that is not due to understanding the other person, but due to our own feelings of superiority. 

The ideal of course, is for each of us to go within ourselves, as many are suggesting. Also, to be equally kind and compassionate to those ideas that agree with us, and those that do not.

Thank you for helping me to express that.

Re: Introducing Compassion and Kindness

“I love humanity, but I hate human beings.”!

Thank you so much for that - it really sums up the point of my long ol' post! :) LOL

Re: Introducing Compassion and Kindness

“And at other times we may kill with kindness that is not due to understanding the other person, but due to our own feelings of superiority. ”

Wow. I sat and contemplated on that one, 'cause I'll be the first to admit when I'm scared of changing. I almost didn't comment on it, because it hit so close to home with me - “kill 'em with kindness” really is trying to convince yourself that you are superior to someone, which seems so obvious now as I type it, but it's always been part of my paradigm, an indoctrinated belief, not one that I deliberately created. It seems clear to me, now, how following that belief could lead me to give myself a false sense of confidence, like I was “being the better person,” which makes me a hypocrite at the moment because I was just saying how others are strong and worthy as me - if I truly believed that, wouldn't I tell them my honest feelings instead of “killing them” with a sheet of “kindness?” I realized something similar recently about myself, through the course I'm taking now in Avatar, but this is the real wake-up call, the cherry on top. I have got to accept myself how I am, insecurities and all, before I can deliberately create a real “castle,” not one made of sand!

I think that when someone critiques me, I try to avoid being defensive by being kind and compassionate, which wouldn't be bad, except that I am trying to avoid the sensation of being defensive, whereas I could just acknowledge it, see objectively why it popped  up, and let it go when it's ready to be let go, maybe that even requires me saying what's really on my mind to that other person, not shrouding it in a veil of “kind, gentle,” persuasion to get the other person to be considerate of my viewpoint. Huh. It's fascinating: it's seems like when I'm operating from this confused place, not knowing whether or not to defend myself, that others draw out of me the reaction that they want me to do. I no longer have an answer. Or maybe I do, I just need to post this, step back, re-read the whole thread, and see it objectively.

Re: Introducing Compassion and Kindness

Chrysalis, quite an ambitious human you are. It's great to know someone who cares about you.

Remember 9/11? After the incident I've noticed that people became gentler and more compassionate toward each other. People do yielded for one another in traffic. Quite an amazing site to see. Then a few months later, traffic became as bad as it's always been. What was happened then is 9/11 introduced a great shock to human psyche that turned the heart over mind. The human ego seemed to shrink small enough for the heart took over. Then over time the shock wore out the mind (or ego in this sense) creeping back, then boy the traffic went bad again.

The masses feeling towards 9/11 seems to have a positive affect. What 9/11 did is to make us more aware that we do have a heart. It is also a great shift in our consciousness just like when Berlin Wall collapsed in the 80's. My take is if somehow or someone can make our Collective Consciousness to change from mind over heart to heart over mind, we will have Compassion and Kindness automatically.

The Compassion and Kindness do exist in this world today, but with the influent of the strong ego these act of Compassion and Kindness are very calculated. They are not natural and they don't last. We all have these quality when we first came in this world, the Collective Consciousness wash them away, sad as it is but we are hopeless to it. I lie when I say that I have no clue how, what we can do is to introduce the inner child to everyone. We need to wake that greatness in us. How??? Child play, silly things, Andy Kaufman is my hero, he did that cleverly when he was still around. Jesus one say “I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven”.

Re: Introducing Compassion and Kindness

I am here ,i dont know if you can see me or if you all even hear me, But I am going to try this again… I wrote this  after  9/11  for a friend of mine who is a survivor of that day. She  is the golden angel who helped others ,with her courage to survive , gave them the courage  to survive…  my writing is called only a breath away  ……….   


                                                      Only A Breath Away


There  once was a beautiful angel whose golden wings spred across the sky
She was there to lift the souls to Heaven , on a day when the earth began to cry.
There was a huge explosion which took the world by great suprise
It was quickly followed by another and the two great buildings fell side by side

There were many angels who came that day , they came from far and wide
They came to lift the steel , to carry the loads , to wipe the tears, and stay the fears.
So the people all came together in one sad city …
We all went to our knees in prayer ,but it wasn't in self pity . 

We are a proud nation and together we will stand , as the golden angel wraps her wings around us  while God holds us saftly in his hands
There were so many souls that left that day , Said the angel to the  masses
” be not afraid for God is with you here , just think of the ones you love and know they are only a breath away” 

SharonLittledove 2007 

Re: Introducing Compassion and Kindness

Little Dove thank you —
Blessings to us all, David

Re: Introducing Compassion and Kindness

That is a beautiful poem , LittleDove

and such tragedy;s always bring out the
best in people -
and that day I am sure there were many-
not only earthly angels -but also the heavenly
kind-to help the poor souls who lost their lives,
through their transitional moments.

Re: Introducing Compassion and Kindness

Thank you Sandy , Blessings to you  Littledove

Re: Introducing Compassion and Kindness

Thank you Sandy , Blessings to you  Littledove

Re: Introducing Compassion and Kindness

Wow!!!!
So many twistings and turnings and meanderings.  I have not “played” much on the pods for awhile - mostly 'cause I can't keep up with all the wonderful, insightful comments us zaadzters post.  As a collective I sometimes think we're too smart for our own good - too much to see and read and respond tooooooooooo….  -my angst I know.!

Intro: here
Compassion and Kindness: my 2 cents (or five (or fifteen) cents we'll see… )

For me it starts with me…  ride Herman and bus to work.  Do I need a car?  NO.  Do some people need a car yes.  Get vegies from a CSA where I can meet and laugh and work with the farmer.  Recycle.  Go to work and try real hard to practice compassion with my clients and co-workers.

THEN:  Get informed about the issues of the day — like ”why are bridges collapsing in my city?“  Darfur.  Iraq and the tragedy of 9/11 — as I am a member of the military I have way more info than I can take in that area.  Meditate on our “oneness” in whatever format works at the time.

THEN:  Try and expand that feeling.  To the folks who have so graciously posted on this pod, and to my friends at zaadz, and to all zaaadsters, and to every corner and nook and cranny of the earth.

Easy??  Kind of, yes, no and then yes, and then no.
Worth it??  YES.


Don't be afraid of all that's happening - flow with it and be the change.  However that change comes about in the here and now.
Blessings, David

Re: Introducing Compassion and Kindness

Sharon!
We see you , we hear you and we are glad you are here! And….what a beautiful testimony to your friend! Thank you for posting this…it is kindness and compassion in action!

Dave:

I'm glad you could come by and post as well here.

and thanks for sharing your process as well. I so agree that resistance to changes are not beneficial and we need to flow from love and not fear, all over the place.

As to finding solutions on the planet to instilll these important actions, to continue individual action, inspire others to follow it in our enviorns and work to find a way to take that  to another level.

I once heard a story about a kind of shoe called a hush puppy. A man wanted to sell these to men and he had to market them right to do it. He started individually, then his friends, then locally, then nationally, etc..Eventually eveyone wore them, singers and presidents alike…

there is no impossible…we must only preservere and continue to show the way it is to be done….

And i thank all of you for attempting to make the difference…your presence is all acknowledged!

Namaste
Aley

Re: Introducing Compassion and Kindness

Going back to the question : how do we introduce compassion and kindness into our lives and I guess those of our children or others we may be “guiding”  - while living in India I would feel so guilty each time I saw poor people - and they are everywhere in the cities, living on the streets. 

I would give to a few but you can never give to all who ask.  But as Katrina wrote about Mexico - they're not miserable [though I don't want to generalize either]; and I was always guilty about having more.

I gained perspective on this after coming away from India and visiting with my kids.  I find myself telling the kids - When you are giving to someone who asks, or volunteering in America, or anywhere else - don't label the person by what they don't have - poor; homeless etc. Call them people who live on the streets, or individualize each person, as we do to each other. Then, each act of kindness is coming from heart to heart, and as you look into the merry eyes of the kid living on the streets, or the thankfulness in the other, or even if you have no response and can see the compassion in your own heart : you will get back a hundredfold what you give. So who is being kind to whom? Who is giving?

Also when someone disagrees with us, or who is “mean”, try to see where they are coming from; what they have understood or not, what they experience in their life, and whether their intent is to trouble you. Then, respond in a fitting way; so that neither you nor the other is hurt. Difficult balance sometimes.


Like the quality of mercy [half-quoting Shakespeare] ; compassionate acts also begin to bless the giver and receiver. They are healing and complete in and of themselves.

And as I “teach” the kids, I show myself. For the kids of today are just amazing and all they're doing is opening our hearts and minds to what they already know.

[ BTW I don't know if anyone else is experiencing this - but when I come back to the blog, I find there were messages before mine, that I hadn't read before. I'm either scrolling too fast, or they are not getting posted in time?! ]

Re: Introducing Compassion and Kindness

Hello all and wishing you well…

Too Meenakshi  I say thanks for your words; so beautiful and how true they rang for me.  It is good to look at what we can give at the time and also what we may be getting while we're giving.  Meeting another “heart to heart” always seems the best and I chide myself when I don't have the time to do this.
AND children of all ages continue to teach me /us that there is time to do and BE this.

Side note: way up at the upper right corner of a thread are links to see posts threaded or unthreaded.  I've replied to your post and so others may not see what I wrote if they choose “threaded” because it'll appear under your post and not  at the bottom of the discussion.  Unthreaded (I believe) puts them in the order they were received.  Zaadz site has a lot of little funny ways to keep us on our toes (intentionally or unintentionally).  It's like life isn't it.  Learn a little.  Share a little.  Be a liitle.

Blessings all around, David

Re: Introducing Compassion and Kindness

Thanks David. Interestingly, I think I heard your reply on my way to work before reading it - had an aha! moment, and I think this is how they come - someone somewhere has an answer for you, and as they write, you get it.
And that too, is compassion at work. So much clarity, that it just goes through.

Re: Introducing Compassion and Kindness

Meenakshi, the reason there are post before yours is because at the bottom of each post, you have two options, “reply to thread” and “reply to post.” “Reply to post means that you're directly replying to one individual's post, so your newly added comment will show up immediately beneath their's. “Reply to thread” means your comment will be added to the bottom of the entire thread. So if you look, for example, at my comments that I replied to your post with, they are both right after your's, even though I just posted them late last night. Make sense? Or clear as mud? ;)

Re: Introducing Compassion and Kindness

Clear as anything! Thanks Katrina. I have now changed my setting to unthreaded so I can actually read all posts - they still make sense.

Thanks again, for the gesture from the heart; yes, it is kindness after all! [and not superficial etiher].

Re: Introducing Compassion and Kindness

Katrina, you asked about empathy.  I think that it is a first step into compassion.  When we imagine ourselves in the other's 'shoes' we can really see and feel much better what that person is going through, how they are feeling.  And then we discover that we can have compassion for them, and for ourselves.  Think of all the times we've been met with seemingly uncaring customer service personnel in a store.  If they could just offer a little empathy our problem would be 'softened', not necessarily solved, but we would feel that we were really undersood.  We can practice empathy by really listening to the other person, as if he or she was us.  How would we feel in the same situation; what would we do, etc? 

When I was doing social work (I have about 20 years experience in public agencies across the US) I found that although I was angry with the parents who treated their children so badly, I could feel empathy and compassion for them.  I was still mandated to make sure the children were protected, and follow statutes requiring permanent removal of the children if the parents couldn't make changes in a given period of time.  But these parents were also once children who were treated badly as well.  They just made different choices.

I posted some links in a recent blog regarding listening.  I was in a frustrated place at the time, so I'm sure it came across as negative and grumpy.  I felt that there was so much talk, talk, talk, and not enough listening - active listening.  Since then, I've seen how I need to practice active listening myself, and I've placed the blog in private.  Also, since then, I've seen all these wonderful, thoughtful posts, where I sense that there is more listening, and consideration.  I thank all of you pod members for that!

Re: Introducing Compassion and Kindness

Every minute is a moment that offers us the chance to be kind and compassionate.Every gesture we make towards ourselves and others are can be made with kindness and compassion.It truly starts at home with ourselves,with our families,our friends,strangers.Guiding our children by example is one way to create a more kind and compassionate world.To introduce to them from the start the beauty of kindness, and the strength of spirit compassion gives and in turn they will introduce it to someone else,never expecting anything in return.

Re: Introducing Compassion and Kindness

That is the key indeed -introducing it
to our children -
and especially leading by example.
Kids are kind to each other -unless
they are fighting over something , in which
case they really don't understand the concept of
being kind to someone else.
For that they need us to teach them and sadly
there are too many that are never taught kindesss
and compassion.
But -everybody hurts sometimes.

Re: Introducing Compassion and Kindness

Is never expecting anything in return what you truly meant there? That, to me, implies a lack of respect for yourself and the other person, a lack of honesty. What you said has such a poetic, beautiful element to it, that I almost forgot that everything I read should be put to practical use, immediately. So let me give an example:
Say I live with roommates - they are my current “family” - and I take on cooking dinner every night with the intention of cooking us an affordable, healthy, delicious meal, because I love to do it and they claim to love to eat it. however, they only partially help pick up after dinner, they pay as little as they can “get away with” for groceries, and they ask questions like, “is there gonna be meat in tonight's dinner?” now, both extreme approaches have been taken, kindness without wanting anything in return and snappiness at demanding they help, pay, and be appreciative. the middle ground, I feel , is to acknowledge their love for the good food, follow that by a stern, 'if you love the food, you'll keep it coming by cleaning up the kitchen for me,' and follow that with a sincere, 'thanks for tidying up.' that seems kind and compassionate, right? Well what if, after all that effort to come across “nicely” your roommates still take offense to you? Or you follow that approach, but they don't clean up because they find better things to do? By only letting it go, and not getting anything in return, you are fully being taken advantage of, and doing much more work, instead of your cooking being a labour of love, right? What is the answer in practical, real-life, everyday terms?

Re: Introducing Compassion and Kindness

Seeing kindness and compassion as just something you do,By not putting any demands on it ,without even thinking about it reallly.I think I understand where you feel tthere might be a lack of respect with your example but perhaps your act of kindness and compassion would really be to say how you feel to these people.Being kind and compassionate should never be about expecting to feel good or bad,it should be about just doing.

Re: Introducing Compassion and Kindness

Well Katrina -
I think that the answer to that -
in practical terms is that you are
being used and your good nature being
taken advantage of !
Now that happens in families too -
both the husband and/or the children-
often/usually treat their partner/mother
that way.
But for friends to do that -well
you either just love them and do it anyway-
or I guess you explore your avenues of
accomodation.
Because it's it could make you feel
drained,bitter and resentful and
not very respectful to yourself.

Re: Introducing Compassion and Kindness

Katrina,

you're making a good point here. Kindness and compassion in a way that can get emotionally draining. Your flatmates are a difficult example for this concept. Do you cook for them because you think it makes them happier? Do you cook for them because you know if they had to look after themselves, they would be unhappier? I think you need to focus on the purpose of your cooking. I suppose you want your food to be appreciated, but it has become a habit and they take it for granted now?

I think compassion and kindess is in the best possible way linked with the wish to remove suffering from another human being. Suffering as small as a woman with her hands full of groceries and you open the door for her. Cooking for your flatmates might make life easier for them, but the overall benefit for them is not very positive anymore. They take you and your food for granted, and a negative situation has developed. I think it is good to address the problem. It would be good for you to speak up, Katrina, because you want to overcome this now and not get into the same behaviour with a husband and kids and develop resentment then, when it matters even more. Don't be afraid.

As a conclusion, from my point of view, when you are in a situation like this and you're not sure if you're becoming a doormat, ask yourself how much your actions do for someone else. I think they are not starving without your cooking. So you might as well interrupt the cycle. Compassion and kindess should spread happiness. When they don't, one needs to think about the motivation on both sides, yours and theirs. A proper thank you here and there is essential in life.

But then…being with them might be a lesson for you and for your development. You develop compassion for them, because they apparently grew up in an unfortunate environment which did not teach them to appreciate kindess and work. You develop gratitude because their behaviour is your chance to learn the value of appreciation, gratitude and kindness. And you learn how NOT to be a doormat. This will be very helpful once you have a husband and children.

Best wishes

Re: Introducing Compassion and Kindness

Chysallis, that was a wonderful answer to my question, thank you. Just so you know, I have do take the approach of speaking up for myself, garnering the respect I know i deserve - I hypothesized it the way I did because I've seen many people make the mistake of doing kind deeds “without anything in return,” and that can be very self-deprecating, I know. to answer your question, I decided a long time ago that I cook because I have a passion for it - and if anyone else cooks that doesn't have the same passion, I know I'll find myself “wanting” for my cooking, so to avoid that situation of complaining about another's job, I do it myself. So I know that it is a selfish act at the same time that it is a loving act towards them. however, you make a great point about not being kind to them by being aware they are not learning a lesson of appreciation - and that is the current situation I am in: I can't allow myself to go on being selfish when I am now aware that it is hurting their development, can I? Or do I write it off as “not my responsibility,” and continue cooking for me and my loved one, ackowledging our appreciation and ignoring their lack of appreciation?

Oh, hell! When the dyanmics are this confusing just in your own household, how audacious it is for us to tackle the compassion-dynamics of the rest of the world! ;) It is fascinating, to me, though, how all of the seemingly “small” matters in our personal life can be translated to the bigger picture of the rest of the world. :)

Re: Introducing Compassion and Kindness

Katrina,

so I understand you are more or less attached to their appreciation and you feel upset when it doesn't show. Even more so when they make it worse by not helping with the dishes? I think your flatmates might have a good lesson for you.

Having a closer look at “doing without expecting anything in return”, it might be helpful for you to read one of my older blog entries about this matter, especially AoSora's comment on it.
Anyway, “not expecting anything in return” should only mean “anything that feeds and nurtures my ego”, because once that happens, if you become emotionally dependent on their appreciation (in the worst case), compassion and kindness are out the window. Awareness and detachment might be good tools to avoid this problem. Understand that for your own happiness you do not need their appreciation, but you enjoy it when you get it.

As for hurting their development with letting this happen, this is difficult for me to answer. If you address the matter once, twice, without result you might as well drop it. But you should keep looking after yourself. Learn from their behaviour and grow from it. In fact, this is a better result of cooking a meal than making them do the dishes, right? :-))

Best wishes

Re: Introducing Compassion and Kindness

anything that feeds and nurtures my ego….
Hmmm, I thought long and hard about that one. My immediate thought was that they “thank” me each time, and I know it's sincere, but I don't feel like I need the dishes done to show me their appreciation, I feel I need the dishes done because it simply takes up too much time for me to have to do the damn things before cooking dinner. I may be missing something, I guess. It may be obvious, it may be exactly what you just said, but either way, I feel that you're right on “being true to yourself” having huge implications on how we are able to demonstrate compassion or kindness - in our household or outside of it.

After all, if we don't realize that WE create our own security guidelines, we will allow others to affect us and overpower us, and worse, blame it on others when we are affected or overpowered.

Re: Introducing Compassion and Kindness

“After all, if we don't realize that WE create our own security guidelines, we will allow others to affect us and overpower us, and worse, blame it on others when we are affected or overpowered.”

That's exactly the point and it makes the difference between automatic habits and true compassion. Yes, I understand how you say that the dishes need to be done because cooking and cleaning takes ages if you do it alone.
But getting back to the compassion and kindness level of this discussion, your initial question was about a lack of respect for yourself when you don't expect anything in return. I hope with this link you will be able to see the difference. Please try to stay focused and don't let them crush your spirit. It is a challenge to stay kind when others don't treat you the way they should. But like I said, their behaviour is neither your fault not theirs. They just never learned it properly, and that is a reason to feel sorry for them (not necessarily pity, because I think pity is a judgmental emotion). The consequence is up to you, but try to keep a balance between giving and taking.

Best wishes

Re: Introducing Compassion and Kindness

I think if you suggestion 1. At least 50 percent of the world is going to think you are a retard. And it has already proven not to be very succesfull because some civilisations already lived with this idea in mind. And they still aren't compassionat or Kind. In fact they fight about cows, and other form of livestock. And basicly are not very keen of the Value of a human persons life…

And the second isn't much of a reason either. In fact I think strangers will in the beginning be hostile. If they do not have the trust for you, which they need for you to get up close and personal.

So what do I suggest?
Hmm…. difficult, difficult…
If we need to have compassion. We need to have strong shared interests. And we will need to have some basic respect for some people. And As I look at humans. I don't think the majority is ready for that. Basic respect for someone else. When I look at Rap, and Hiphop, Materialism. Religion, and nations… I see a lot of factors basicly opposing basic respect.
If we want basic respect.
We need to stop teaching, that our way. of Living, of religion, of believing. Is the only good way.
We need to stop with telling our people that this is the best. We need to stop letting our governemnt tell this is the best place to be, and the greatest nation to live in. Because it is not. And we need to stop to let the people we trust tell that their visions are better then those in the middle east. And Vice Versa. Because only then we can have an open Eye for different people. And then we at least have a clean slate to begin with… for starters…

About Kindness…
No don't have any answers for that. Kindness lies in biological social Hierarchy. Now unless we only have 1 gender, and everybody gay. there are no Biological Social changes to society we can make that will change that. But Compassion is a start. Perhaps different alternatives arise in the future.

Re: Introducing Compassion and Kindness

Hey Domus…

What about empowering people on their personal level?

Meaning, I think it would have to be approached in a very open, flexible way so that no one is alienated.

I think compassion and kindness would be a symptom…. not necessarily a focus.

Re: Introducing Compassion and Kindness

Sometimes the kind and compassionate thing is to let the 'natural consequenses' unfold.  In this hypothetical situation, if the dishes aren't done, the cooking won't happen.  And for awhile you would have to do things differently.  Or speak with the others about the situation.  You are doing the cooking, but you didn't offer to do the rest.  Your responsibility is to yourself, whatever that looks like - sometimes we don't realize that we are in patterns that aren't really helpful to us.  Kindness to others doesn't have to mean 'unkindness' to ourselves.  “I mean you no harm, and I mean myself no harm as well.”  If the tables were turned, would you expect to 'carry your weight' of responsibility, or would you just eat the food and say thankyou, leaving the cook to do the cleanup? 

Re: Introducing Compassion and Kindness

Very interesting twists and turns with this thread. i had thought i would refrain from commenting but as you see…i've changed my mind :-)

How do we approach issues of faith in a way that unites rather than divides? Respecting personal beliefs of others as we all strive to find ways to work together.

Why? Because it seems the need calls for a method that can be applied to action based on the ideals some associate with religious/spirtual paths and others as  simple attributes of humanity (compassion and kindness). However the thing i saw  missing, and that didn't seem to be emerging was a framework that could be broadly applied to social benefits.

Something that comes to mind is how the emphasis in some Christian churches, speaking in reference to the south but certain it can apply beyond that region, came to emphasize “being saved” over how you actually lived. During slavery if the churches wanted to keep their collection plates full they couldn't challenge slaveowners who attended church faithfully…and so getting into heaven became more a matter of “being saved” than how you actually live your life or treated others. And we see very clearly the results of that brand of logic and heritage….so many people will be deterred by the mere reference to faith or spirituality because of how it has been traditionally used in society.

i'd like to explore how we can look at the issues connected to faith to find what is universal among us so that we make the most of this time we have together.

Of course, what i suggest is not the only solution but i share this in the hope that it will help keep the dialogue moving in direction that will fuel positive action, with lasting positive results.

This is something we've been working on and i call it  SoulFood Tradition and i hesitated because it is clearly not meant to be a spiritual tradition in the familiar sense, but it does seek to make a space for the spiritual expression of humanity. One of the things i observed a need for was inclusive frameworks that could be flexible, broadly applicable, understandable across cultures, and empowering diverse individuals with an eye on the common good.

And because it seems since the start of civilizations societies have been shaped by commerce that is where this more soulful level of living most needs to be infused.

SoulFood perspective are Games of Acceptance: The Cultural Fusion series yields CRM strategies that create context for games to engage and nourish, so that a bridge exist to sustain connections to solutions. Then it is no longer necessary to want people to change or long for global social responsibility because we are participating in the remedies.
 

They provide a context for the Attention Economy to be experienced by many in a way that moves many into automated global social responsibility. The contents and ingredients of each SoulFood:Dish or SoulFood:Meal will help by offering among its menu remedies that support individuals in grieving aspects of the old as part of a transformation that grows from understanding the value of contrast instead of conflict…acceptance rather than denial which creates frustration.

What is SoulFood Tradition?

General or Social Level

The practical wisdom of this Soul Food Tradition method is that makes clearer the value of culture in contrast to heritage.

In the paper being developed currently I ask readers to consider the difference between heritage and culture. (If this interest you feel free to contact me about how you can read the paper when it's completed)

Soul Food emerges from oral traditions as a soulful tradition not be confused with an intellectual tradition. Rather than rely on known knowledge (intellectual tradition) it relies on the bridge between the intellect and creative intuition (soulful tradition) as am approach to developing new solutions for increasingly complex situations. Furthermore it provides illumination about how to do this with integrity (purity of ingredients), value for the individual, and appreciation for context.

Starting with the insights from Source:Acceptance

What is the essence of SoulFood?

Spinoza:love

Love is joy accompanied with the idea of an external cause.

My observation has been…

 Attention is the price we pay for love, then the SoulFood Tradition paradigm is a way infusing both love and attention into commerce by focusing on the place where they converge. The relationships that add value to a transaction…

This would seem to support the core of what this thread has revealed….everyone seems to more or less agree we need a more loving world and more meaningful interactions as that in a nutshell seems to be the teachings of most religions and the result of compassion and kindness.

What are your ideas on making kindness and compassion universal in a practical way…efficiently applied to world change?

Re: Introducing Compassion and Kindness

This is a great discussion, Zaadsters.  Love it!

Re: Introducing Compassion and Kindness

Compassion is a response to suffering.

In our condition it is one of the warriors of enlightenment.

So if their were no suffering there would be no need for compassion

One thing is for sure is that we don't have enough compassion in this world.

Greed, ignorance and selfishness seems to be winning

And that may soon cause serious problems

Because if compassion is a response to suffering, then it is an evolutionary feeling that is necessary for our survival.

Re: Introducing Compassion and Kindness

Perhaps when we talk about words like compassion and kindness, which are so charged with individual and cultural meaning - a large part of the discussion is to help us understand what we mean by the concepts.

The Buddha's concept of compassion is the way I use the word - “Since the Buddhist concept of compassion is based on the universality of Buddhahood, compassion is not one's pity for those who seem weaker or inferior; it is more like a sentiment of friendly respect amongst equals.”

Compassion in this way, seems to be feeling as others do from a state of union or oneness with them - so it is with the suffering, but also with the joy in others; their happiness and sadness; their triumphs and tribulations; their agreements and disagreements; hopes and horrors. The way into it, is through kind acts, empathy with thoughts and emotions, healing acts and anything that raises the vibrations away from the separateness level [ that other much loaded word - ego].

So in a practical way, once I write and post - and then read the thread again, it is finding parts in each other's writing that come from a place where you and I are one. In this way, there is compassion for all, because it does not come “from me” but is felt by “me”.

http://meenakshi.zaadz.com/blog/2007/8/how_do_we_experience_compassion

Re: Introducing Compassion and Kindness

Thank you very much, Meenakshi. It is VERY important to understand that compassion is not feeling sorry or pity. Compassion is exactly what you described.

Yes, maybe compassion is related to suffering, maybe it is triggered or conditioned by suffering. But then the conclusion must be: .the ideal world has no need for compassion. Let us create the ideal world, free of suffering, free of compassion, but full of kindness, love and peace.

Best wishes